Title: Best in show
Author: NYWCgirl
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing: None
Characters: Peter, Neal,
Warning: none
Spoilers: none
Rating: G
Genre: fluff
Author's Notes: Soft kitty verse, just a short silly story while I prepare for my WCBB.
Word Count: ~ 800
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…
Summary: Who thought a beauty pageant would be this stressful
It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon and Peter was enjoying his cross word puzzle and a cup of coffee. El was reading a book in the living room and Satchmo was outside chasing the neighbors’ cat.
Peter´s phone rang the X-files tune and Peter picked up his phone. ´Burke, this better be good Mozzie.´
´Suit, we have a problem.´ Mozzie whispered.
´We?´ Peter snorted.
´Suit, I lost Neal.´
´What do you mean, lost? How did you lose Neal, Mozzie?´ Peter didn´t sound amused anymore. ´He is 5ft 11 ½ tall, has blue eyes, need I to continue?´
´Well, he wasn´t exactly Neal, if you catch my drift.´ Mozzie confessed.
´Mozzie, you lost Neal as a kitten? How in earth did you lose him?´
´Well, hypothetical, there might have been a pageant.´
´A pageant? Why would you take a kitten to a pageant? Were you two conning some innocent girl?´
´No suit, it was a kitten pageant.´
´A what?´ Peter felt a headache building. ´Do I want to know?´
´Yes, Neal came out as best in show in the kitten class.´
´Where did you get the pedigree? Never mind.´ Peter sighed. ´Start from the beginning.´
´We were discussing the pageant world and it turned out that there are quite a few possibilities to…, never mind. I enrolled Neal in the pageant under the Rag doll category en he did great. The judges loved him, turned out, the little guy has a flare for the catwalk and he performed outstanding, so he came in Best in Show. He even won a trophy and all.´
´Get to the part where you lost him, Mozzie.´
´Well, the newspaper wanted a picture of all the kittens that took part in the Rag doll class and they were placed together for the picture. And to not spook the kittens, grooms were not allowed, so when I was allowed back in, all the kittens were sitting in a cage and they all look the same. What will I do?´
´…´
´Peter? Are you still there?´ Mozzie sounded really spooked.
´Yes, I am thinking Mozz. Where are you?´
´…´
´Mozz, I can´t help you if you ´re not telling me where you are.´ Peter started to get annoyed.
´We´re at Madison Square Garden.´
´OK, I am on my way.´
Peter disconnected the line and walked over to El telling her Mozzie needed his help relocating Neal and if she could please join him as they were at a cat show at Madison Square Garden.
´They entered the Martha Steward International Cat show? Wow! Classy. How did Neal do?´
´He was voted Best in Show. What does that even mean?´ Peter said questionably.
´Peter, that means a lot… If he were a real kitten, he would be worth a lot of money. Let´s get him back before he changes back.´ El smiled at her husband.
Sometime later, they entered the grooming rooms and located Mozzie, who was still looking at the cage.
´OK, some grooms came to collect their protégé, but still… Any ideas?´
Peter looked at the nine kittens in the cage. OK, he saw the problem, he couldn´t make out which one was Neal either. What were they going to do?
´Neal?´ Peter asked quietly.
All the kittens looked at him. This wasn´t going to work.
´Do we know if they are all males?´ El asked.
´I guess not.´ Mozzie answered not sure but pretty convinced that they were males and females all together.
´Well, let´s try to find out which ones are male.´ El suggested.
Peter picked up the first kitten, checking under its tail.
´I guess this is a girl. What am I exactly looking for?´ Peter stammered.
´No Peter, kittens don´t have their penis outside like other animals. Look for two holes, the top one is their anus, the other one, should be about ½ inch below their anus. If so, it is a boy, maybe you can even see it´s testicles, but I am not sure how old Neal is, they don´t show for the first six weeks.´ El explained.
´How do you know this?´ Mozzie looked impressed.
´I catered a small cat show once. The cat ladies were very willing to share all the ins and outs of show cats.´ El explained smiling.
´They are all female I guess. Oh wait, I think I am on to something.´ Peter said unsure.
´Here, let me see. Yes, this one is a male and all the others are female, so I guess we found Neal.´
Peter picked Neal up and Mozzie gathered all their stuff together including the trophy and squirreled the prize money in his pocket. Neal just glared at Peter with a dark look of his blue eyes. He was not happy, that much was clear.
´Let´s not tell Neal about this, shall we?´ Mozzie said to Peter and El before they left the building.