Living in the now - Chapter 12 - Not waking up anymore
Jack gently washes Mac´s face, it must feel good, because Mac smiles without opening his eyes. He knows Mac doesn’t have the energy anymore.
‘How are you feeling Mac?’
Mac hums.
‘That bad, hm?’
Slowly Mac´s pries open his eyes. He looks tired, even though he sleeps most of the days. It hurts Jack to see Mac this way. It is clear Mac is studying Jack.
‘What happened to you Jack?’
Jack huffs, ‘what do you mean?’
‘You’re old.’
‘Yeah, well, so are you bud.’
Mac frowns.
‘Don’t worry about it, bud, just don´t talk OK, rest, everything will be OK.’
Mac lets his eyes slip shut. When Jack is convinced Mac is asleep, he leaves the room and goes downstairs.
Dorothy, their home aid, is waiting for him. She made coffee and apparently even made apple pie. The aroma of freshly baked apple pie fills the house. Mac will enjoy the smell, even though he doesn´t have much appetite anymore.
‘Hi Jack, why didn´t you use the stair lift?’
‘I´m not an invalid Dory.’
She smiles, ‘ no, you’re not, but you are old and I don´t want you to break a hip or something.’
Jack huffs in mock annoyance, he knows Dorothy is right.
‘How’s Mac?’
Jack gives her a sad smile, ‘he’s tired.’
Dorothy pushes away from the counter and hands him a cup of coffee while she puts her other hand on his shoulder.
‘I know this is hard, we discussed this. It won´t be long anymore.’
Jack´s eyes water up and he wipes the tears away with an annoyed gesture.
‘Com sit down, Jack, drink your coffee, I also made you something to eat.’
‘I need to go feed the horses.’
‘No Jack, we have stablehands for that, remember?’
He does, he hates getting old. He keeps forgetting stuff and he loathes himself for it. Luckily, Dorothy is always subtle and he is grateful for her help with Mac, especially now. he wouldn´t know what to do without her.
‘Jack? Calm down. You’re getting yourself worked up.’
Jack looks up at her. She’s right. This really is for the best. Mac is ready. He picks up his fork and starts eating.
‘Delicious as always, Dory.’
‘Thank you, Jack.’
Jack finishes his food, ‘ I should go check on the horses.’
‘You go do that, I’ll go check on Mac, it’s time for his meds.’
Jack slowly pushes his walker outside towards the barn.
* * *
‘Hi Mac, can you wake up for me, sweetie?’
At first Mac doesn´t respond but Dorothy knows to give him some time so she goes into the bathroom and wets a washcloth.
‘Mac? You awake?’
Mac hums so she knows he’s awake, although he doesn´t have the energy to open his eyes. She gently washes his face again and he slowly opens his eyes.
‘Hi sweetie, it’s time for your meds.’
‘Don´t wanna.’
‘I know Mac, but you ill feel better.’
‘No.’
‘OK, it can wait. Is there anything you want, maybe a piece of croissant.’
‘Oven?’
‘Apple pie.’
Mac sniffs and smiles, ‘ma.’
‘Correct, it’s the recipe Jack gave me, he told me it’s his mom´s. You want a piece?’
‘Rocky Road?’
‘Sure sweetie, let me get you a scope. You’re OK, waiting for me a moment?’
Mac nods.
Dorothy walks down and gets the ice cream out of the freezer. She can hear Jack´s walker on the porch.
‘Hey Jack, Mac wants ice cream, will you take it to him?’
‘Sure.’
She hands him the cup with ice cream and Jack slowly makes his way upstairs. Stubborn old man. She readies Mac´s meds for later, she will inject them instead of pills. Like she told Jack, it won´t be long anymore. She didn´t want to tell Jack, but Mac is already in his final days. He stopped eating a couple of days ago and the little scopes of ice cream he eats are not enough to sustain life. But she will do everything in her power to make the transition as comfortable and painless as possible, she promised Jack.
She turns when she hears the lift come downstairs.
‘What’s the matter, Jack?’
I´m fine.’
She can tell he is having a hard time. So she walks up to him and pulls him into a hug. She can feel the sob building.
‘It’s OK Jack, I know this is hard, what got you so upset?’
‘His hands were cold and when I checked them, they were bluish? I…’
‘Shh, it’s alright. Remember what I told you to expect?’
Jack nods, whipping tears away and clearly making an effort to pull himself together.
‘Let me get Mac´s medication. You said you collected some music he likes?
‘Yeah.’
‘OK, let´s go upstairs, and make Mac comfortable, shall we?
She assists Jack back upstairs and they enter Mac´s room. She opens the curtains, because it is a gorgeous day.
‘Heya Mac, how are you feeling?’
‘S’mt’ng wrong,’ he grimaces.
‘It’s OK, Mac, don’t worry about it, I am just going to check your vitals, Ok?’
‘Wher’s Jack?’
‘I´m here Mac.’
Jack sits down next to the bed. Mac looks confused.
‘What’s the matter, Mac?’
‘You’re old.’
Jack gives a dry chuckle, ‘you will not let me forget, will you?’
When Mac looks more confused, he adds ‘I know, bud, I know.’
Mac shivers and Dorothy puts an extra soft blanket over him. His eyes slowly close.
‘Rest Mac, you’re doing good.’
Dorothy puts the music on, Jack picked out and leaves the room to do some chores. When she comes back in, Jack is snoring. She takes another blanket and drapes it over the older man. She’s worried for Jack. He has been taking care of Mac most of his adult life, what will he do when Mac dies? In a way, she is glad it is Mac who will go first, because Mac´s world be one of confusion without Jack.
Mac stirs and she takes the hand Jack isn´t holding, ‘hey sweetie, Jack´s sleeping.’
Mac hums, ‘tired.’
‘That´s OK, you don´t need to go anywhere. Close your eyes, Jack is also asleep.’
Mac slowly lets his head roll to the other side until he can see Jack and smiles while letting his eyes slip close.
* * *
‘Jack, wake up please.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I think you should come with me.’
Jack tries to get up from his bed.
‘Jack, use the remote.’ Dorothy calls out. She can hear Jack grumble under his breath. But then he slowly approaches her with his walker.
‘What’s wrong with Mac?’
‘I think you should sit with Mac.’
He pauses to give Jack time to take in the message. He nods and slowly makes his way to Mac´s room. When they enter, Jack stops in the door for a moment to take in the room. He then goes to the bed, sitting down on it. The movement stirs Mac, but he doesn´t really wakes.
‘Mac? Jack whispers, Dorothy can hear the tears in his voice and she swallows away the lump in her throat.
‘He can hear you Jack, just talk to him.’
Jack nods.
‘This is it, isn´t?’
Dorothy puts her hand on his shoulder, ‘yes, it won´t be long now.’
‘Mac, hey man, It’s OK. I know you’re not scared, so…’ Jack’s voice breaks.
‘Jack, I will leave you two alone. If you need anything, press the alarm, OK?
‘Thanks.’
The moment Dorothy leaves the room, Jack lays down next to Mac and pulls him close.
‘J? Mac whispers.
‘I’m here Mac, I´m here, your overwatch is in position.’
‘Th’k’
‘I know kid, the privilege was all mine. Let go, I’m here, I’ll watch your back.’
Mac’s breathing becomes even more irregular than it already was. Mac let´s himself melt into Jack´s embrace.
‘Hey kid, remember, You go kaboom, I go kaboom.’
When Dorothy checks on them an hour later, she isn´t surprised to find the two men together in the bed. They have been doing that more frequent the last couple of weeks. It seems to sooth them both.
‘Jack, I’m gonna check Mac, OK?’
When she doesn´t get a response, she checks Jack´s pulse, only to find there isn´t any. She sighs and checks Mac. He is gone too. She straightens and swallows. She has heard amazing stories of both men in their army days and once again they managed to surprise her.
This is for the best..
‘How are you feeling Mac?’
Mac hums.
‘That bad, hm?’
Slowly Mac´s pries open his eyes. He looks tired, even though he sleeps most of the days. It hurts Jack to see Mac this way. It is clear Mac is studying Jack.
‘What happened to you Jack?’
Jack huffs, ‘what do you mean?’
‘You’re old.’
‘Yeah, well, so are you bud.’
Mac frowns.
‘Don’t worry about it, bud, just don´t talk OK, rest, everything will be OK.’
Mac lets his eyes slip shut. When Jack is convinced Mac is asleep, he leaves the room and goes downstairs.
Dorothy, their home aid, is waiting for him. She made coffee and apparently even made apple pie. The aroma of freshly baked apple pie fills the house. Mac will enjoy the smell, even though he doesn´t have much appetite anymore.
‘Hi Jack, why didn´t you use the stair lift?’
‘I´m not an invalid Dory.’
She smiles, ‘ no, you’re not, but you are old and I don´t want you to break a hip or something.’
Jack huffs in mock annoyance, he knows Dorothy is right.
‘How’s Mac?’
Jack gives her a sad smile, ‘he’s tired.’
Dorothy pushes away from the counter and hands him a cup of coffee while she puts her other hand on his shoulder.
‘I know this is hard, we discussed this. It won´t be long anymore.’
Jack´s eyes water up and he wipes the tears away with an annoyed gesture.
‘Com sit down, Jack, drink your coffee, I also made you something to eat.’
‘I need to go feed the horses.’
‘No Jack, we have stablehands for that, remember?’
He does, he hates getting old. He keeps forgetting stuff and he loathes himself for it. Luckily, Dorothy is always subtle and he is grateful for her help with Mac, especially now. he wouldn´t know what to do without her.
‘Jack? Calm down. You’re getting yourself worked up.’
Jack looks up at her. She’s right. This really is for the best. Mac is ready. He picks up his fork and starts eating.
‘Delicious as always, Dory.’
‘Thank you, Jack.’
Jack finishes his food, ‘ I should go check on the horses.’
‘You go do that, I’ll go check on Mac, it’s time for his meds.’
Jack slowly pushes his walker outside towards the barn.
* * *
‘Hi Mac, can you wake up for me, sweetie?’
At first Mac doesn´t respond but Dorothy knows to give him some time so she goes into the bathroom and wets a washcloth.
‘Mac? You awake?’
Mac hums so she knows he’s awake, although he doesn´t have the energy to open his eyes. She gently washes his face again and he slowly opens his eyes.
‘Hi sweetie, it’s time for your meds.’
‘Don´t wanna.’
‘I know Mac, but you ill feel better.’
‘No.’
‘OK, it can wait. Is there anything you want, maybe a piece of croissant.’
‘Oven?’
‘Apple pie.’
Mac sniffs and smiles, ‘ma.’
‘Correct, it’s the recipe Jack gave me, he told me it’s his mom´s. You want a piece?’
‘Rocky Road?’
‘Sure sweetie, let me get you a scope. You’re OK, waiting for me a moment?’
Mac nods.
Dorothy walks down and gets the ice cream out of the freezer. She can hear Jack´s walker on the porch.
‘Hey Jack, Mac wants ice cream, will you take it to him?’
‘Sure.’
She hands him the cup with ice cream and Jack slowly makes his way upstairs. Stubborn old man. She readies Mac´s meds for later, she will inject them instead of pills. Like she told Jack, it won´t be long anymore. She didn´t want to tell Jack, but Mac is already in his final days. He stopped eating a couple of days ago and the little scopes of ice cream he eats are not enough to sustain life. But she will do everything in her power to make the transition as comfortable and painless as possible, she promised Jack.
She turns when she hears the lift come downstairs.
‘What’s the matter, Jack?’
I´m fine.’
She can tell he is having a hard time. So she walks up to him and pulls him into a hug. She can feel the sob building.
‘It’s OK Jack, I know this is hard, what got you so upset?’
‘His hands were cold and when I checked them, they were bluish? I…’
‘Shh, it’s alright. Remember what I told you to expect?’
Jack nods, whipping tears away and clearly making an effort to pull himself together.
‘Let me get Mac´s medication. You said you collected some music he likes?
‘Yeah.’
‘OK, let´s go upstairs, and make Mac comfortable, shall we?
She assists Jack back upstairs and they enter Mac´s room. She opens the curtains, because it is a gorgeous day.
‘Heya Mac, how are you feeling?’
‘S’mt’ng wrong,’ he grimaces.
‘It’s OK, Mac, don’t worry about it, I am just going to check your vitals, Ok?’
‘Wher’s Jack?’
‘I´m here Mac.’
Jack sits down next to the bed. Mac looks confused.
‘What’s the matter, Mac?’
‘You’re old.’
Jack gives a dry chuckle, ‘you will not let me forget, will you?’
When Mac looks more confused, he adds ‘I know, bud, I know.’
Mac shivers and Dorothy puts an extra soft blanket over him. His eyes slowly close.
‘Rest Mac, you’re doing good.’
Dorothy puts the music on, Jack picked out and leaves the room to do some chores. When she comes back in, Jack is snoring. She takes another blanket and drapes it over the older man. She’s worried for Jack. He has been taking care of Mac most of his adult life, what will he do when Mac dies? In a way, she is glad it is Mac who will go first, because Mac´s world be one of confusion without Jack.
Mac stirs and she takes the hand Jack isn´t holding, ‘hey sweetie, Jack´s sleeping.’
Mac hums, ‘tired.’
‘That´s OK, you don´t need to go anywhere. Close your eyes, Jack is also asleep.’
Mac slowly lets his head roll to the other side until he can see Jack and smiles while letting his eyes slip close.
* * *
‘Jack, wake up please.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I think you should come with me.’
Jack tries to get up from his bed.
‘Jack, use the remote.’ Dorothy calls out. She can hear Jack grumble under his breath. But then he slowly approaches her with his walker.
‘What’s wrong with Mac?’
‘I think you should sit with Mac.’
He pauses to give Jack time to take in the message. He nods and slowly makes his way to Mac´s room. When they enter, Jack stops in the door for a moment to take in the room. He then goes to the bed, sitting down on it. The movement stirs Mac, but he doesn´t really wakes.
‘Mac? Jack whispers, Dorothy can hear the tears in his voice and she swallows away the lump in her throat.
‘He can hear you Jack, just talk to him.’
Jack nods.
‘This is it, isn´t?’
Dorothy puts her hand on his shoulder, ‘yes, it won´t be long now.’
‘Mac, hey man, It’s OK. I know you’re not scared, so…’ Jack’s voice breaks.
‘Jack, I will leave you two alone. If you need anything, press the alarm, OK?
‘Thanks.’
The moment Dorothy leaves the room, Jack lays down next to Mac and pulls him close.
‘J? Mac whispers.
‘I’m here Mac, I´m here, your overwatch is in position.’
‘Th’k’
‘I know kid, the privilege was all mine. Let go, I’m here, I’ll watch your back.’
Mac’s breathing becomes even more irregular than it already was. Mac let´s himself melt into Jack´s embrace.
‘Hey kid, remember, You go kaboom, I go kaboom.’
When Dorothy checks on them an hour later, she isn´t surprised to find the two men together in the bed. They have been doing that more frequent the last couple of weeks. It seems to sooth them both.
‘Jack, I’m gonna check Mac, OK?’
When she doesn´t get a response, she checks Jack´s pulse, only to find there isn´t any. She sighs and checks Mac. He is gone too. She straightens and swallows. She has heard amazing stories of both men in their army days and once again they managed to surprise her.
This is for the best..