The one
Author: NYWCgirl
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing: none
Characters: Neal, Peter, OFC, OMC
Warning/genre: Suicide attempt, aftermath, non-consensual drugging, friendship, injury, kidnapping, undercover
Spoilers: none
Rating: NC-13
Author's Notes: This fic fills the ‘suicide attempt’ square on my H/C Bingo card.
Word Count: ~ 2035
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…
Summary: AN undercover job goes horribly wrong.
This fic can also be found on AO3.
It has been thirty eight days since Neal went missing during an undercover op. One moment he was there, the next he wasn´t. Everybody tells Peter Neal ran, but he knows that is not true. They were asked to assist in a case against a cult leader and they suspected the cult was syphoning money through art made by the cult members.
Everything seemed fine when Neal entered the art gallery as a potential buyer until Neal didn´t return as expected.
They had no reason to raid the place and the op leader chose to wait to see if Neal would turn up since no extraction phrase was used.
All Peter could do was following the money so they could get a warrant to search the building the cult used. The White Collar team worked hard and the moment the warrant came through, Peter asked a tactical team to assist as the members were known to be armed.
It was already late but they were waiting for darkness to breach the premises, so they waited and prepared for the upcoming job.
Once it was dark, they moved in and served the warrant. The chaos among the members that were awake was overwhelming, but as planned the children and most of the members were sleeping, so the others were quickly subdued.
Peter was informed over the radio that the leader was found and identified and so was Neal.
Neal! He was still alive.
Peter rushed to the mentioned floor, entering the room from which he heard the leader shouting. He storms into the room, scanning for Neal in the chaos of the arrest. His eyes zoom in on Neal who is kneeling, he seems unrestrained and what appears to be unharmed.
‘Neal?’
Neal doesn´t respond, it even appears like he is unaware of all the people around him.
‘We need medics’ Peter says in his radio.
‘You know what to do, Neal!’ The cult leader calls out to Neal before he is dragged off by two agents. Peter crouches in front of Neal, gently lifting his chin so Neal has to look him in the eye. Neal does look up, but his eyes are seriously dilated and totally empty. It scares Peter. He has seen Neal at his worst, but Neal feels, he is an artist, this Neal appears to be an empty vessel. The dilated pupils also tell him Neal is heavily drugged.
‘Please step aside, agent.’
Peter looks up to the voice and it is an EMT who is already unpacking his bag. With no visible injuries but in a catatonic state, the EMT takes a quick vital check before calling out for a gurney.
‘Is that necessary? I can escort him to the ambulance?’
The EMT thinks about it, but nods and together they pull Neal upright.
‘Let’s go Neal. I don´t know what happened, but you’re safe now.’
Before Peter or the EMT can respond, Neal has pulled Peter´s gun from his shoulder holster and before Peter can stop him, he aims for his head and pulls the trigger.
* * *
Peter paces the room. There is still no news. He still can´t wrap his head around the fact Neal pulled his gun. His gun… what a rookie mistake. He can already imagine what the disciplinary hearing is going to be like.
‘Family of Neal Caffrey?’ a scrub nurse calls out, pulling Peter from his thoughts.
‘Yes, over here.’
‘Mister Caffrey is in recovery, it will take about an hour before we will transfer him to his room.’
She checks her chart, ‘he will be admitted at the ICU room number 1204. The staff at the ICU will be able to tell you more once he is transferred.’
‘Thank you.’
He knows it is no good waiting here, so he goes to the cafeteria to get some coffee and something to eat. He needs the sugar.
When the hour is up, he makes his way to the ICU where a nurse explains they are expecting Neal any minute now. She tells him he can wait in the family room.
About ten minutes later, a bed is wheeled in, the nurses move into the room, settling their new patient, adjusting tubes and drains, making sure IV´s are running freely all the while briefing each other. Peter eagerly awaits outside the glass cubicle until he is noticed by one of the nurses.
‘Come in, I will explain what is going to happen and how we take care of Mister Caffrey.’
‘Neal, he prefers Neal. It´s special agent Peter Burke.’
‘OK Peter, my name is John, I´m on till ten o´clock, if you have any questions, please let me know.’
Peter immediately likes John, he is quick and efficient in explaining everything. Visiting hours are very restricted, but Peter explains Neal is a kidnap victim and there could still be people after him. John consults with the attending and is told he can stay as long as he can back up his story with official documents.
* * *
Peter starts awake when an alarm sounds. It turns out to be an IV that ran dry, but now that he is awake, he checks over Neal. He’s not going to like that they shaved his head. Neal´s eyes move under his lids, so he is probably dreaming.
Peter wonders what they did to Neal that he would try to commit suicide. The tox screen showed several types of drugs so it is clear that Neal probably wasn´t thinking clearly at the time, he had been pumped up to the eye balls with different types of drugs. The doctor was impressed that he could function at all.
A nurse enters the room, acknowledging him before silencing the alarm and replacing the IV. She checks the drains and seems satisfied.
‘How is he doing?’
‘He is doing good agent Burke, he’s a fighter, he will pull through. Talk to him, he is probably able to hear you. We’ve been weening him of the sedative, so we expect him to wake this morning.’
‘That’s good news.’
‘Yes it is. But let´s wait and see what happens, alright. He survived quite some trauma.’
‘Of course.’
Once the nurse leaves, Peter sits down again and starts talking to Neal. What they found at the compound of the cult, that they are building the case against the cult leader and that he needs Neal to wake up.
Most patients in the ICU don´t get breakfast, so The staff comes in to tell Peter they have a tray for him in the family room. He thanks them and takes his time to eat the provided food, before returning to Neal. The nurses used the time to change bandages and take care of Neal. Neal seems a bit agitated, but the nurse explains that he is waking up and that it might appear that he is agitated, but he fighting the sedation.
‘Hi Neal, time to wake, you had your beauty sleep.’
Neal´s eyes flutter and a finger twitches, but he doesn´t seem to be able to breech that last hurdle to consciousness.
‘It´s OK Neal, rest, everything will be alright and you’re safe.’
* * *
He hears noise, or maybe it is not noise, it is someone talking to him; The voice is familiar, he knows it, well. But it can’t be. Peter is not here. Lucas is. Lucas is always there.
He knows he needs to open his eyes and look at Lucas, he will be punished if he doesn´t, but he can´t seem to move or even open his eyes. Maybe this time Lucas overdosed him and it will be all over. That wouldn´t be so bad, would it?
But something is different, he can sense it. The drugged feeling is familiar but the beeping isn´t. He knows this beeping, but he is not sure where he has heard it before.
Wait.. Mozzie… When Mozzie was shot, it´s a heart monitor. So that would imply he is in a hospital. He needs to open his eyes and see where he is. But he just can´t.
* * *
Peter is reading through some files when he sees Neal stir.
‘Neal?’
A frown appears on Neal´s face and his eyes open to little slits, the blue rolling behind the still mostly closed lids.
‘Hey Neal, are you in pain?’
Neal frowns again, and Peter gets worried, what if his brain was damaged? He pushes the nurses call button, but by the time the nurse enters Neal has closed his eyes again.
‘He was awake and opened his eyes, but he didn´t say anything.’
The nurse takes vitals, jotting them down in the medical file, adjusting and replacing IV´s bags and finally come back with a washcloth. She gently washes Neal´s face and he opens his eyes once again.
‘Good to see you awake, Neal.’
‘Wh’t?’
‘Don´t try to talk just yet, wake up a bit more and I will give you some ice chips.’
Peter walks up to Neal´s bed side and takes Neal´s hand in his. He pushes the nurse call button.
‘You’re gonna be OK, Neal, just take it easy.’
A nurse enters with a big smile on her face, ‘Hello Neal, welcome back. How are you feeling, any pain?’
Neal scrunches his face, ‘he’dache.’
‘I bet, I will give you something after I have checked your vitals, OK?’
* * *
‘Take it easy Neal, just sit down for a moment.’
Peter helps Neal to sit down while Maria closes the door.
‘Master Neal, Miss June told me to prepare the downstairs study for you. A bed was moved in so you don´t have to walk the stairs. She will be back in two weeks, but for now that will be easier for you.’
‘Thanks Maria.’
Maria shows the way to the study and a full functional hospital bed is waiting for Neal. Peter looks a bit surprised.
‘When Miss June’s granddaughter was sick, she sometimes stayed with us.’ Maria explains without asking.
‘Of course, well, Neal, your bed awaits you.’ Peter gives him a small smile. Neal looks still so fragile.
Maria comes back with a tray with tea for Neal and coffee for Peter and some freshly baked macadamia nut cookies.
‘Thank you Maria.’
It surprises Peter that Neal takes a cookie with his tea, and he smiles, when the cookie gives Neal a content look on his face.
‘These are absolutely the best.’ Neal says taking a second one.
‘Look Neal, I…’
‘Peter, I’m fine. I…’ he looks Peter in the eye, ‘you don´t need to worry about me. You heard the doctor, the drugs are out of my system. I’m fine.’
Peter nods his head, he knows, he talked to Neal´s doctor and the psychiatrist and all the professionals agreed that Neal was stable and the suicide attempt was due to the drugs coursing through his system, but still. Neal is his responsibility.
‘Look, Maria is in the house, so I am not alone. Please, stop worrying.’
‘I would feel better if Mozzie was here.’ Peter admits.
‘Fine, I will call him and ask him to come over and stay here, he won´t mind.’
When Peter doesn´t move, Neal realizes Peter wants him to make the call.
‘You want me to call him now?’
‘Humor me.’
‘Fine.’
Neal calls Mozzie who picks up at the second ring. Neal promises dinner and wine and Mozzie promises to be there in half an hour. It is clear Peter relaxes a bit after that, taking his coffee and a cookie.
‘Oh, you are so right, these are the best Macadamia cookies I have had.’
‘Told you so, and I don´t lie to you.’
‘I know. But you scared me kid, you really did.’
‘I know and I am sorry.’
‘No need. Now rest, I will wait until Mozzie is here.’
‘OK, but only if you promise to stay for dinner, ask Elizabeth to come over here and join us.’
‘That is a good idea, I will. No close your eyes and rest.’
.
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing: none
Characters: Neal, Peter, OFC, OMC
Warning/genre: Suicide attempt, aftermath, non-consensual drugging, friendship, injury, kidnapping, undercover
Spoilers: none
Rating: NC-13
Author's Notes: This fic fills the ‘suicide attempt’ square on my H/C Bingo card.
Word Count: ~ 2035
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine…
Summary: AN undercover job goes horribly wrong.
This fic can also be found on AO3.
It has been thirty eight days since Neal went missing during an undercover op. One moment he was there, the next he wasn´t. Everybody tells Peter Neal ran, but he knows that is not true. They were asked to assist in a case against a cult leader and they suspected the cult was syphoning money through art made by the cult members.
Everything seemed fine when Neal entered the art gallery as a potential buyer until Neal didn´t return as expected.
They had no reason to raid the place and the op leader chose to wait to see if Neal would turn up since no extraction phrase was used.
All Peter could do was following the money so they could get a warrant to search the building the cult used. The White Collar team worked hard and the moment the warrant came through, Peter asked a tactical team to assist as the members were known to be armed.
It was already late but they were waiting for darkness to breach the premises, so they waited and prepared for the upcoming job.
Once it was dark, they moved in and served the warrant. The chaos among the members that were awake was overwhelming, but as planned the children and most of the members were sleeping, so the others were quickly subdued.
Peter was informed over the radio that the leader was found and identified and so was Neal.
Neal! He was still alive.
Peter rushed to the mentioned floor, entering the room from which he heard the leader shouting. He storms into the room, scanning for Neal in the chaos of the arrest. His eyes zoom in on Neal who is kneeling, he seems unrestrained and what appears to be unharmed.
‘Neal?’
Neal doesn´t respond, it even appears like he is unaware of all the people around him.
‘We need medics’ Peter says in his radio.
‘You know what to do, Neal!’ The cult leader calls out to Neal before he is dragged off by two agents. Peter crouches in front of Neal, gently lifting his chin so Neal has to look him in the eye. Neal does look up, but his eyes are seriously dilated and totally empty. It scares Peter. He has seen Neal at his worst, but Neal feels, he is an artist, this Neal appears to be an empty vessel. The dilated pupils also tell him Neal is heavily drugged.
‘Please step aside, agent.’
Peter looks up to the voice and it is an EMT who is already unpacking his bag. With no visible injuries but in a catatonic state, the EMT takes a quick vital check before calling out for a gurney.
‘Is that necessary? I can escort him to the ambulance?’
The EMT thinks about it, but nods and together they pull Neal upright.
‘Let’s go Neal. I don´t know what happened, but you’re safe now.’
Before Peter or the EMT can respond, Neal has pulled Peter´s gun from his shoulder holster and before Peter can stop him, he aims for his head and pulls the trigger.
* * *
Peter paces the room. There is still no news. He still can´t wrap his head around the fact Neal pulled his gun. His gun… what a rookie mistake. He can already imagine what the disciplinary hearing is going to be like.
‘Family of Neal Caffrey?’ a scrub nurse calls out, pulling Peter from his thoughts.
‘Yes, over here.’
‘Mister Caffrey is in recovery, it will take about an hour before we will transfer him to his room.’
She checks her chart, ‘he will be admitted at the ICU room number 1204. The staff at the ICU will be able to tell you more once he is transferred.’
‘Thank you.’
He knows it is no good waiting here, so he goes to the cafeteria to get some coffee and something to eat. He needs the sugar.
When the hour is up, he makes his way to the ICU where a nurse explains they are expecting Neal any minute now. She tells him he can wait in the family room.
About ten minutes later, a bed is wheeled in, the nurses move into the room, settling their new patient, adjusting tubes and drains, making sure IV´s are running freely all the while briefing each other. Peter eagerly awaits outside the glass cubicle until he is noticed by one of the nurses.
‘Come in, I will explain what is going to happen and how we take care of Mister Caffrey.’
‘Neal, he prefers Neal. It´s special agent Peter Burke.’
‘OK Peter, my name is John, I´m on till ten o´clock, if you have any questions, please let me know.’
Peter immediately likes John, he is quick and efficient in explaining everything. Visiting hours are very restricted, but Peter explains Neal is a kidnap victim and there could still be people after him. John consults with the attending and is told he can stay as long as he can back up his story with official documents.
* * *
Peter starts awake when an alarm sounds. It turns out to be an IV that ran dry, but now that he is awake, he checks over Neal. He’s not going to like that they shaved his head. Neal´s eyes move under his lids, so he is probably dreaming.
Peter wonders what they did to Neal that he would try to commit suicide. The tox screen showed several types of drugs so it is clear that Neal probably wasn´t thinking clearly at the time, he had been pumped up to the eye balls with different types of drugs. The doctor was impressed that he could function at all.
A nurse enters the room, acknowledging him before silencing the alarm and replacing the IV. She checks the drains and seems satisfied.
‘How is he doing?’
‘He is doing good agent Burke, he’s a fighter, he will pull through. Talk to him, he is probably able to hear you. We’ve been weening him of the sedative, so we expect him to wake this morning.’
‘That’s good news.’
‘Yes it is. But let´s wait and see what happens, alright. He survived quite some trauma.’
‘Of course.’
Once the nurse leaves, Peter sits down again and starts talking to Neal. What they found at the compound of the cult, that they are building the case against the cult leader and that he needs Neal to wake up.
Most patients in the ICU don´t get breakfast, so The staff comes in to tell Peter they have a tray for him in the family room. He thanks them and takes his time to eat the provided food, before returning to Neal. The nurses used the time to change bandages and take care of Neal. Neal seems a bit agitated, but the nurse explains that he is waking up and that it might appear that he is agitated, but he fighting the sedation.
‘Hi Neal, time to wake, you had your beauty sleep.’
Neal´s eyes flutter and a finger twitches, but he doesn´t seem to be able to breech that last hurdle to consciousness.
‘It´s OK Neal, rest, everything will be alright and you’re safe.’
* * *
He hears noise, or maybe it is not noise, it is someone talking to him; The voice is familiar, he knows it, well. But it can’t be. Peter is not here. Lucas is. Lucas is always there.
He knows he needs to open his eyes and look at Lucas, he will be punished if he doesn´t, but he can´t seem to move or even open his eyes. Maybe this time Lucas overdosed him and it will be all over. That wouldn´t be so bad, would it?
But something is different, he can sense it. The drugged feeling is familiar but the beeping isn´t. He knows this beeping, but he is not sure where he has heard it before.
Wait.. Mozzie… When Mozzie was shot, it´s a heart monitor. So that would imply he is in a hospital. He needs to open his eyes and see where he is. But he just can´t.
* * *
Peter is reading through some files when he sees Neal stir.
‘Neal?’
A frown appears on Neal´s face and his eyes open to little slits, the blue rolling behind the still mostly closed lids.
‘Hey Neal, are you in pain?’
Neal frowns again, and Peter gets worried, what if his brain was damaged? He pushes the nurses call button, but by the time the nurse enters Neal has closed his eyes again.
‘He was awake and opened his eyes, but he didn´t say anything.’
The nurse takes vitals, jotting them down in the medical file, adjusting and replacing IV´s bags and finally come back with a washcloth. She gently washes Neal´s face and he opens his eyes once again.
‘Good to see you awake, Neal.’
‘Wh’t?’
‘Don´t try to talk just yet, wake up a bit more and I will give you some ice chips.’
Peter walks up to Neal´s bed side and takes Neal´s hand in his. He pushes the nurse call button.
‘You’re gonna be OK, Neal, just take it easy.’
A nurse enters with a big smile on her face, ‘Hello Neal, welcome back. How are you feeling, any pain?’
Neal scrunches his face, ‘he’dache.’
‘I bet, I will give you something after I have checked your vitals, OK?’
* * *
‘Take it easy Neal, just sit down for a moment.’
Peter helps Neal to sit down while Maria closes the door.
‘Master Neal, Miss June told me to prepare the downstairs study for you. A bed was moved in so you don´t have to walk the stairs. She will be back in two weeks, but for now that will be easier for you.’
‘Thanks Maria.’
Maria shows the way to the study and a full functional hospital bed is waiting for Neal. Peter looks a bit surprised.
‘When Miss June’s granddaughter was sick, she sometimes stayed with us.’ Maria explains without asking.
‘Of course, well, Neal, your bed awaits you.’ Peter gives him a small smile. Neal looks still so fragile.
Maria comes back with a tray with tea for Neal and coffee for Peter and some freshly baked macadamia nut cookies.
‘Thank you Maria.’
It surprises Peter that Neal takes a cookie with his tea, and he smiles, when the cookie gives Neal a content look on his face.
‘These are absolutely the best.’ Neal says taking a second one.
‘Look Neal, I…’
‘Peter, I’m fine. I…’ he looks Peter in the eye, ‘you don´t need to worry about me. You heard the doctor, the drugs are out of my system. I’m fine.’
Peter nods his head, he knows, he talked to Neal´s doctor and the psychiatrist and all the professionals agreed that Neal was stable and the suicide attempt was due to the drugs coursing through his system, but still. Neal is his responsibility.
‘Look, Maria is in the house, so I am not alone. Please, stop worrying.’
‘I would feel better if Mozzie was here.’ Peter admits.
‘Fine, I will call him and ask him to come over and stay here, he won´t mind.’
When Peter doesn´t move, Neal realizes Peter wants him to make the call.
‘You want me to call him now?’
‘Humor me.’
‘Fine.’
Neal calls Mozzie who picks up at the second ring. Neal promises dinner and wine and Mozzie promises to be there in half an hour. It is clear Peter relaxes a bit after that, taking his coffee and a cookie.
‘Oh, you are so right, these are the best Macadamia cookies I have had.’
‘Told you so, and I don´t lie to you.’
‘I know. But you scared me kid, you really did.’
‘I know and I am sorry.’
‘No need. Now rest, I will wait until Mozzie is here.’
‘OK, but only if you promise to stay for dinner, ask Elizabeth to come over here and join us.’
‘That is a good idea, I will. No close your eyes and rest.’
.