Duality, my curse
Well, the last day was strenuous, and now Britt is going to start calling me again -_- She thinks I'm leaving for Pullman sometime this summer... and any we hang out is more chance she'll discover that I concealed my true problems from her. What the fuck. I visited a Navy recruiting center today, and the guy ran me through a test where I scored almost triple the national average, and he said were I to enlist I'd be put onto the Nuclear Feild track. Very interesting. Happens that that is the elite tech group of the Navy, the hardest mental tasks in the Service. I'm seriously tempted to do it. I'd gtfo of Washington state, back to places where the world isn't apeshit crazy like it is out here, I'd have definitive tasks, and I'd be able to dodge my past. I've got two roads, I can stay and do Running Start as a SS to get the last 3 credits I haven't made up from 9th grade, or I could drop out, take the GED test like tomorrow and pass that, but due to all the medications I've been put on I'm not eligible to enlist until december or so; around when I'd graduate doing Running Start. I'd have to give up my games, but that's a negligible price to pay for actually having a life ahead of me; I'm going nowhere fast as it is.
It's that or I could do running start until graduate, work my GPA up and then go to WSU or (if there IS a God) UW, and try to recover my life that way. Thing is, NF Navy guys START halfway up the pay scale, which after housing food medical and insurance is around 2k a month of cash to do whatever with.. and thats getting paid to get trained in the nuclear stuff. The best part is, I know jack-shitall about anything to do with nuclear physics, and the last time I was involved in something I didn't know I taught myself to code from scratch in a month. Then, when my tour of duty ends, I could re-enlist, or maybe go out and do the techy stuff in the real world, get my home-job-chill life I dream about, and just _be_. OR, I could get out of the navy, use their programs to pay my way thru UW, get my Comp Sci or Comp Engineering degree, and go from there.
Best thing of all, I wouldn't need to maintain this facade of lies for people who think I'm not in as dire straits as I am.
God, how I long to be a person again.
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Oh, and we bought our first new car in a decade two days ago. '06 Honda Civic. Manual. Jesus fun to drive. Too bad I don't get it, and my baby has to park outside. I'm somewhat concerned someone will break in and steal my system; but after it getting passed over in the great drama-party prowlfest last year, not TOO concerned.
It's that or I could do running start until graduate, work my GPA up and then go to WSU or (if there IS a God) UW, and try to recover my life that way. Thing is, NF Navy guys START halfway up the pay scale, which after housing food medical and insurance is around 2k a month of cash to do whatever with.. and thats getting paid to get trained in the nuclear stuff. The best part is, I know jack-shitall about anything to do with nuclear physics, and the last time I was involved in something I didn't know I taught myself to code from scratch in a month. Then, when my tour of duty ends, I could re-enlist, or maybe go out and do the techy stuff in the real world, get my home-job-chill life I dream about, and just _be_. OR, I could get out of the navy, use their programs to pay my way thru UW, get my Comp Sci or Comp Engineering degree, and go from there.
Best thing of all, I wouldn't need to maintain this facade of lies for people who think I'm not in as dire straits as I am.
God, how I long to be a person again.
--
Oh, and we bought our first new car in a decade two days ago. '06 Honda Civic. Manual. Jesus fun to drive. Too bad I don't get it, and my baby has to park outside. I'm somewhat concerned someone will break in and steal my system; but after it getting passed over in the great drama-party prowlfest last year, not TOO concerned.