Weird
I keep getting logged out of LJ. Bitchez.
I swear to god I'm not emo. I just have these amazing, sometimes euphoric mood swings. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar or something, because of these swings. Like, I got to chew out the sophomore techs today for being dumbasses and never putting shit away, and I was feeling crappy as hell before it (had my worst stomach pains EVER), and then afterwards, I'm all happy and jazzed up and shit. WTF? I wish someone would tell me why I'm hard to interact with... is it the mood swings? Do I give people the impression that I'm self-absorbed, possibly because of all these introspective, self-analytical posts? I guess I just think about myself because I don't know whether or not it's appropriate to deep-analyze other people, and I NEED to be analyzing things.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm hard to deal with, that people don't like being around me. While I know everyone will be like, "no! no, we like being around you! yes, of course!", I sometimes get this suspicion that that's just one of those things you say. It's as if someone's dog died, so you would say, "oh, I'm so sorry", even if the little jerk kept biting you in the leg. I guess nobody's willing to be honest with me.
I get the inkling though, it's socially unacceptable to be honest with other people. Can someone enlighten me? I mean, I'm 85-90% honest with people. I'll even say that, even though people might be like, "Oh! He might have LIED to me!!". There are things that I'd not like to bring up, and everyone has them. However, I wish someone would take me to task... tell me what I'm doing wrong. I would be SO happy if I had a "shopping list" of things to improve to make me more social. God knows I have no clue... but that's because of my disabilities. If I knew what to do, I could do it.
I've done it before. I know that I used to be bad at eye contact. So, I work day-in, day-out at it. I'd like to think I've improved it... but it's not the only roadblock. There's gotta be other things. My self-warning systems can't catch it because of my abilities, but I can see from the results that there has to be a cause.
I can see the shadow of the problem, but not the problem(s) itself. If someone could rip me a new one and tell me what I've got problems in, I'd love them forever. If you could help me, but don't want it out there for everyone to see, EMAIL ME! I bloody don't care how I get help, as long as I get some. I need help!
I swear to god I'm not emo. I just have these amazing, sometimes euphoric mood swings. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar or something, because of these swings. Like, I got to chew out the sophomore techs today for being dumbasses and never putting shit away, and I was feeling crappy as hell before it (had my worst stomach pains EVER), and then afterwards, I'm all happy and jazzed up and shit. WTF? I wish someone would tell me why I'm hard to interact with... is it the mood swings? Do I give people the impression that I'm self-absorbed, possibly because of all these introspective, self-analytical posts? I guess I just think about myself because I don't know whether or not it's appropriate to deep-analyze other people, and I NEED to be analyzing things.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm hard to deal with, that people don't like being around me. While I know everyone will be like, "no! no, we like being around you! yes, of course!", I sometimes get this suspicion that that's just one of those things you say. It's as if someone's dog died, so you would say, "oh, I'm so sorry", even if the little jerk kept biting you in the leg. I guess nobody's willing to be honest with me.
I get the inkling though, it's socially unacceptable to be honest with other people. Can someone enlighten me? I mean, I'm 85-90% honest with people. I'll even say that, even though people might be like, "Oh! He might have LIED to me!!". There are things that I'd not like to bring up, and everyone has them. However, I wish someone would take me to task... tell me what I'm doing wrong. I would be SO happy if I had a "shopping list" of things to improve to make me more social. God knows I have no clue... but that's because of my disabilities. If I knew what to do, I could do it.
I've done it before. I know that I used to be bad at eye contact. So, I work day-in, day-out at it. I'd like to think I've improved it... but it's not the only roadblock. There's gotta be other things. My self-warning systems can't catch it because of my abilities, but I can see from the results that there has to be a cause.
I can see the shadow of the problem, but not the problem(s) itself. If someone could rip me a new one and tell me what I've got problems in, I'd love them forever. If you could help me, but don't want it out there for everyone to see, EMAIL ME! I bloody don't care how I get help, as long as I get some. I need help!