Why can't I just be ignorent like everyone else?
With the knolege that ignorence is bliss, shows that the one with knolege is the one with nothing to ever gain. For me, I am going through a battle. A battle that is yet so familure to every teenager, the only diffrence is that I know that it is uncureable. The problem of every single battle is that there is one set winner and one set loser. The winner gets to hold over the flag and comend on a job well done, whille the looser has to sit and wait for all the repercutions. The loser is always the one that looses something, and more then not, more significent of a loss. For a battle into ones mind, you are the winner, and you are able to gloat and deam yourself victiorious, but.... you are also the loser, who has alot more damage. I am now faceing the damages...there are things in my life, that I know will change, and people reiterate will, but for some reason, I have the feelings of a loser, being in a sarow demise. I can't help but ever notice, Things Will hopefully change for me in the future, but as cleche` as it sounds, I need to live in the present, not the future.... If I can't live now, then how am I sposto live in the future. I know there are problems with me. For the main fact that I can't attract a female is more then evident, but friends and other people seeing me more and more depresed are trying to tell me that it will change in the future. I haven't got as much as a kiss from a girl in months, and even that wasn't something to brag about. I was a second nature.... The girl cheated on her boyfriend for me, as much as me just being a little puppet to a childs game. I know it sounds kinda stupid, but sometimes even a guy wants someone to be there, holding their hand, telling them that everything is going to be alright in the end. With now, a extreamly bad case of insomnia is also lighting up a new door of extream caios. I lay in my bed now, with feelings of me being shot, and also me getting crusified. for some reason, my subconscious is causeing me to want actuall physical pain to match my emotional struggle. As so many other people before me, I just feel lost, confused.... Like a textbook example of what "every teenage feels".... But at least they can find something else to grieve with them.