First class.

[nytemarewulf]

Roger and I went to the first educational class involving the bariatric surgery group. This is a long involved process, and they want whomever will be our support person(s) present. So we went down to the riverplex. Everything was pretty much laid out in general terms. What to expect, the various procedures, etc. The doctor that I will be

Comments

[bearginner]

I fully understand your concerns, Roger, I really do. Two people I care a LOT about have been thorugh this surgery in the last two years and it's been quite an experience for me to learn how to deal with that.

I think the first question you might ask yourself is: can't Carl current health situation also lead to nasty complications?

And it's not only about health. Sometimes, as much as we, from the outside, really love the people how they are and how they look, it's not as easy for them to see the same things we do, specially when they feel limited in their everyday life. I realized that for a number of people who go through this process, it's not only a physical intervention, but a needed (or felt as needed) watershed in their lifes. Which of course demands a lot of preparation and follow-up. And that's where those who are around play a very important role. Sometimes, just being there.

Explore and discuss as openly as possible your concerns. But don't let them freak you out. There is enough critical mass of information and knowledge about this surgery to make it a safe enough procedure. But Carl will need a lot of help and assistance and that's the best you can do for him.

I came to learn that this surgery is not about becoming another person. It's about taking away the extra weight that stopped the person of fully becoming who he/she already was. And believe, it's amazing and beautiful to see it happen with someone we love.

Sorry for making it too long... Hugs to the both of you!

[aadroma]

Of course Carl's health can lead to complications, and in fact HAS lead to complications -- his diabetes is worse and has a myriad of health issues, and that's why I'm not telling him to not do this.

Because the weight needs to come off, one way or another.

And I don't think Carl's ever BEEN happy as a heavy man, which is another thing. I can tell him day in and day out that I think he's beautiful, and I may as well be reading him stereo instructions, as my words are that effective here. He's put on more weight so even I'm not happy with him heavy, as it's a serious impediment to us actually DOING anything.

So yeah, I wish not to keep him heavy, but rather, having already been through a death through WLS, I'm simply looking at all of the possibilities (both good AND bad). Unfortunately my voicing concern has already made me the "evil chaser" with one person so ... 9_9

[bearginner]

Well, you are NOT an evil chaser.

This is a life-changing experience and, as Carl´s partner, you will be affected by it. And, at least in my opinon, any medical procedure IS scary. So please don´t beat yourself or let anyone beat you for being concerned. You certainly don´t need that extra burden.

Extra hugs! :-)