(no subject)
Title: The Night That Changed All Others
Chapter Title: Chapter 17 - Emotions Run High
Author: Nytel
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: John/Teyla
Genre: Romance, general
Main Characters: John and Teyla, but nearly everyone makes an appearance.
Spoilers: Up to 203.
Summary: Teyla and John spend one night together, and they could never have imagined the series of events that would unfold because of it. These events would change the lives and the future of everyone in Atlantis.
Beta:
mlsky
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis.
Feedback: Any feedback is very much appreciated.
Prologue: http://nytel.livejournal.com/6539.html#cutid1
Chapter 1: http://nytel.livejournal.com/6715.html#cutid1
Chapter 2: http://nytel.livejournal.com/7290.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://nytel.livejournal.com/10722.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://nytel.livejournal.com/13158.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://nytel.livejournal.com/13707.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://nytel.livejournal.com/14574.html#cutid1
Chapter 7: http://nytel.livejournal.com/15691.html#cutid2
Chapter 8: http://nytel.livejournal.com/18066.html#cutid1
Chapter 9: http://nytel.livejournal.com/21770.html#cutid1
Chapter 10: http://nytel.livejournal.com/22280.html#cutid1
Chapter 11: http://nytel.livejournal.com/25910.html#cutid1
Chapter 12 - Part 1: http://nytel.livejournal.com/29771.html#cutid1
Chapter 12 - Part 2: http://nytel.livejournal.com/30018.html#cutid1
Chapter 13: http://nytel.livejournal.com/30601.html#cutid1
Chapter 14: http://nytel.livejournal.com/31225.html#cutid1
Chapter 15: http://nytel.livejournal.com/31509.html#cutid1
Chapter 16: http://nytel.livejournal.com/32480.html#cutid2
Previously:
With a surge of rage he raised his P-90, aiming straight for the wraith’s chest. He didn’t care how many damn bullets it took, but the bastard was going down.
John’s finger was on the trigger. As he pulled it back he heard Teyla’s frantic voice come over the radio, “John stop!”
Chapter 17 - Emotions Run High
It was too late; he had already pulled the trigger. Thankfully however, his reaction time was swift and he managed to lower his P-90 so that the bullet entered into the wraith’s foot instead of his chest.
“What the hell?!” he screamed into the radio.
The wraith smirked at him through a grimace of pain. “If I die, so do they.”
At nearly the exact same moment John heard Teyla’s voice. “You cannot kill the wraith that is possessing the twins. If you do…” Her voice broke off in a sob. “They will die.”
He could feel his heart racing in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach. He had almost killed his children.
“John?” Teyla’s desperate voice in his ear brought him back to reality. The rest of his attack team was waiting patiently for him to give orders.
“Ronon, Ford,” he said. “Tie him up and put him in the jumper.”
“Sir?” Ford asked skeptically.
“Do it, Lieutenant.”
Ford nodded and with Ronon’s help he restrained the wraith and headed out to the jumper.
John signaled at the remaining men and women to file out. Just as he was exiting the wraith ship he heard Teyla calling his name over the radio again.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said in a shaky voice. “We’re bringing the wraith back to the city.”
***
She let out a strangled sob of relief and sank to the ground outside the holding room. Carson was hovering over her worriedly, but she barely even noticed.
“Teyla?” she heard John’s voice come over Dr. Beckett’s headset that she was wearing.
She pressed the talk button, but when she tried to talk all that she could manage was a muffled sob.
“Hey,” John said quietly. “It’s ok Teyla, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
When she heard his voice cut out and the connection break she automatically handed the headset back to Carson. He took it from her shaking hand before he crouched down beside her. She knew that he was worried because she was still sobbing, but he couldn’t even begin to understand the emotions that were running through her body.
He gave her arm a comforting squeeze before standing up and heading back into the holding room to check on the twins.
***
“Take him to the holding cell and make sure he’s placed under heavy guard,” John ordered as he stepped out of his jumper.
“Yes sir,” Ford said as he turned to leave, followed by the wraith and an escort of marines.
Just after the group exited the hanger bay Elizabeth and Colonel Caldwell entered. Looking at him inquisitively Dr. Weir asked, “Would you care to explain Colonel?”
“Yes,” Caldwell said. “I think that an explanation is required. Your orders were to destroy the wraith Colonel, not take them prisoner.”
“Well I’m so sorry,” he said in a sarcastic voice that would make Rodney proud.
“Colonel!” Elizabeth shouted in surprise. Caldwell just looked shocked.
The thing was that John didn’t even care. There was no way in hell that he was going to apologize for saving his children’s lives.
“I’ve been in charge of the military contingent for almost seven years!” he shouted, the day’s events finally getting to him. “Now I’m not saying that there haven’t been complaints about the way that I do things, but I do my job and I make decisions that I feel are the right ones.” He paused just long enough to take a breath before continuing. “So when I found out that killing that wraith would kill my kids, I thought hey… maybe I don’t feel like being responsible for the death of my children!”
Everyone appeared too shocked at his outburst to say anything. Elizabeth was opening and closing her mouth, but no words were coming out.
John knew that he would probably feel badly for reacting like this later, but right now he didn’t care. He had so many emotions all rolling around inside of him and he honestly didn’t know how else to respond
He quickly took off his vest and threw it to the ground beside one of the nearby jumpers. “If you need to know anything else ask Ford. He was there.”
John started to walk out when he heard Elizabeth’s voice. “John wait…”
“No,” he said without even turning around to look at her. “If you need anything talk to Ford. I’m going to find Teyla.”
“Colonel,” Caldwell called out. “I could bring you up on charges for this.”
“Go ahead,” he said loudly as he exited through the door. “I don’t give a damn.”
***
Carson had left the holding room a few minutes ago and had reassured her that the twins were doing fine. It didn’t stop her from feeling… well, she didn’t know what she was feeling. Obviously she was relieved, and happy that the twins were ok, or at least as good as could be expected. But at the same time she was terrified. She had been so close to actually losing them and it made her feel nauseous. Plus there was the fact that they were still under the influence of the wraith, and obviously they wanted the twins for something.
Teyla shuddered and pulled her knees up to her chest. Why was this happening? The twins didn’t deserve it; they were kids, not even five years old. It just wasn’t fair.
She bit back a sob and rested her head on her knees. Pulling her legs in tighter towards her body, wondering if she could actually do this. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to get through this. With the discovery of the wraith on the mainland the absolute seriousness of the situation had set in. Teyla knew that they were going to have to put up one hell of a fight if they were going to get out of this intact. And without question it would be harder than last time, and almost certainly more people would die.
***
As John passed Carson in the hallway he asked if he’d seen Teyla. He wasn’t surprised when he was told that she was by the holding room.
He pushed himself through the unexpectedly crowded hallways, trying to make it there as fast as he could. When he had talked to her on the radio she had been distraught, something that he could entirely relate with. He just needed to find her and make sure that she was ok, or that she was going to be ok. He didn’t think she could be, right then.
He saw the marines first, standing unmoving outside the room. It took him a few more moments to notice that Teyla was there, tucked into a corner, knees pulled tight against her chest and her head laying on them.
John felt his heart constrict at the sight. He wasn’t sure how she would react so he approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her. He gently lowered himself down beside her so that he was resting against the wall beside her. By the way her back stiffened for a few moments and then relaxed, he knew that she recognized his presence.
Not knowing what else to do he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her up against his side. He didn’t give a damn that half the marines were staring at them. They both needed this.
With hardly any coaxing she turned so that she was facing him partially and then wrapped her arms around his torso. She buried her head in his shoulder and John could feel the tears as they started to soak through his shirt.
He tugged her closer still and rested his head on top of hers. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Instead he just held her close against his body. He wasn’t really that surprised when he felt streaks of wetness on his cheeks.
***
Teyla was exhausted. She had her eyes closed and was leaning against John, focusing on the steady rise and fall of his chest. She was just starting to drift off when she felt him pull away. Confused she opened her eyes and watched as he stood up. He offered his hand to her and she reached up and took it, letting him pull her to her feet.
“Come on,” he said quietly as he tugged on the hand that he hadn’t released yet. He took a few steps down the hallway and she stumbled after him. He paused and asked her is she was all right. She nodded her head but he didn’t look convinced. The next thing she knew he was scooping her up off the ground. She let out a weak protest, but he didn’t put her down.
“You shouldn’t do this John.”
“Yeah well,” he said in a sarcastic voice. “It’s not the only time today.”
She turned her head so that she could look into his eyes. “What do you mean?”
He started walking before he responded. “Don’t worry about it.”
As they rounded a corner she reached up and brushed her fingers along his cheek. “If something is bothering you John… you can tell me.”
She was more than a little surprised when he smiled at her words. “What?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “It’s just that after…” He paused as if changing his mind, “You’re just an amazing woman Teyla.”
She couldn’t stop the blush from creeping onto her cheeks. Before John had time to notice she said, “You can tell me.”
He sighed as he shifted her in his arms a little bit. “It’s just Elizabeth and Caldwell.”
“What did they do?” she asked in a concerned voice.
“They tried to reprimand me for bringing the wraith back as a prisoner, since my orders were to destroy all the wraith.”
“What?” Teyla asked indignantly.
“Yeah,” John huffed out. “But they can go to hell because there is no way that I’m going to apologize for saving the lives of our kids.”
Teyla’s heart surged at his words. He had said our kids.
“You ok?” he asked quietly after she remained silent for a few moments.
“Yes,” she replied.
Even though she was mostly awake now she let John still carry her. As they were making their way towards the living quarters of the city she couldn’t help but think about John’s response to Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell. It brought a small smile to her face as she realized that the old John was back.
***
John carried Teyla down the hallway towards her quarters in silence. It was kind of odd considering that she wasn’t hurt, but he didn’t really care. He liked the feeling of having her in his arms.
They were finally in the living quarters section of the city, and they just had a few more turns to make before they were at Teyla’s rooms. As John was passing his room Teyla told him to stop. He did, and when she asked him to put her down he did that too. It was really stupid for her to walk now. They were so close to her quarters, and she’d already let him carry her all this way.
He was surprised when she reached for his hand with one of hers and used the other to open the door to his quarters. He raised his eyebrows at her questioningly, but she just pulled him into the room behind her. She didn’t stop, but instead pulled him over to the bed that was against the far wall.
John’s heart began to race at the thought of Teyla in his bed, but he forced himself to remember that she had been seriously devastated only minutes before and now was not the time for that.
It was early in the evening, but John lay down beside Teyla on the bed anyway. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. She seemed to be holding up a little better than before. He figured it was probably just because the shock had worn off; he was feeling something similar.
Without even really thinking about it John reached over and brushed a few stray hairs away from Teyla’s face. She let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes. He continued to run his hands lightly over the side of her face, even though the hair was no longer in the way. John couldn’t force himself to stop and he continued caressing her face gently until her breathing deepened. He figured she was probably asleep.
Reluctantly he stopped and shifted his position so that he was lying on his side facing her. He didn’t like the small gap that was separating them so he gently moved himself closer to her. It was if she sensed his thoughts because she rolled closer to him too, right up until she was pressed against the length of his body.
John sighed and placed a soft kiss on the top of her forehead. He moved his one arm so that it was wrapped around her shoulders, and then he pulled her closer. She nestled into his side and John couldn’t resist dropping another kiss onto her hairline.
After admiring her for a long time, and letting his fingers draw lazy circles on her back, he closed his eyes. The adrenaline of the day was finally leaving his body and he was feeling drowsy. He didn’t stop tracing patterns on her back though; it was soothing him.
He murmured a quiet “I love you” into her hair before he finally drifted off.
***
Teyla sat up abruptly as she broke free from her nightmare. Her back was clammy and her hands were shaking. She closed her eyes briefly and took a few calming breaths. When she opened them again she felt a little better, and it was then that she realized she wasn’t in her quarters. She only needed to turn her head slightly to the side to see John sprawled out beside her on the bed. His face was half buried in the pillow, and he was breathing deeply.
She was glad that she hadn’t woken him up. Quietly she turned to the side and placed her feet on the ground. Just as she was standing up, John rolled closer to her, as if seeking the warmth from her body. Instinctively she placed a hand on his shoulder and muttered soothing words under her breath.
She walked over toward the small bathroom area, and entered shutting the door softly behind her. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights, but instead headed for the small sink and ran the taps until the water was sufficiently cool. Teyla cupped her hands underneath the stream of water and let them fill up, and then she lowered her face and splashed the cold water over it. The crispness of the water helped her to wake up a little bit, and to push the nightmare to the back of her mind. She turned off the taps, and being unable to find a towel, wiped her hands on her pants.
She exited the tiny bathroom just as quietly as she had entered it. As she was walking back toward the bed she realized that she was still wearing her boots. She changed direction and headed toward the door. Immediately she began to unlace them, planning to leave them there, as was Athosian custom.
***
When John started to wake up he felt cold and instinctively reached toward Teyla to pull her body closer to him. When he hand found nothing but the blanket his eyes shot open. His initial thoughts were that she was gone. He was in the process of mentally kicking himself when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.
Teyla was crouched in front of the door apparently putting on her boots. It hurt him to know that she would leave this way, without saying good-bye. He’d dealt with enough of that already.
“You’re leaving?” He asked sadly, his voice still groggy from sleep.
She looked surprised to see that she was awake. With a raised eyebrow she said, “No…”
He pushed himself up to a sitting position with one hand, and used the other to wipe sleep from his eyes. “You’re putting your boots on,” he said quietly.
He was surprised when she gave him a small smile. “I was taking them off.”
It was his turn to be surprised. “What?”
As she stood up and walked back up towards the bed he saw that she was indeed bare foot. It made him smile.
Instead of coming to lie back down she paused by the foot of the bed. She pointed at his feet and then he realized that he must have forgot to take his boots of too.
“I am not the only one who forgot.”
What really surprised him was when she began to undo the laces on his boots. He was going to protest, but one stern look from her cut him off before he even began. She tugged both boots off his feet and then went and placed them by hers. When she came back she tugged off his socks too. He was utterly amazed that after five years she still remembered his pet peeve about sleeping in socks.
***
Teyla was a little surprised that John thought she would leave, but instead of getting upset she just planned on proving to him that she wasn’t leaving, not again. After pulling off his socks and dropping them on the floor, (there were at least three other pairs there), she climbed back up onto the bed.
Just as she was lying down John asked, “So you’re not leaving?”
“Not unless you want me to,” she said in a semi-light tone.
“No.” He protested quickly, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. From his new position he was kind of leaning over her.
She smiled up at him. “I was kidding John, I am not leaving.”
“Good,” he said in a very heartfelt voice.
Their eyes locked and Teyla was sure that her heart paused for a moment. All of the love she saw there was astonishing, but she needed to make sure that he understood how she felt too. She didn’t want any more uncertainty between them.
She reached up with one hand and wrapped it around the back of his neck, and then she pulled his head down to hers for a gentle kiss. At least it was intended to be gentle, but things heated up fairly quickly and within minutes Teyla found herself pinned to the mattress underneath John’s weight.
She had just begun to tug his black shirt out of the waistband of his pants when he pulled away. “Are you sure about this Teyla?” His voice was hesitant as if he feared her answer.
“Yes,” she said softly as she tried to pull his head back down to hers. He was still resisting and it frightened her, maybe he didn’t want her. But the look in his eyes told her that he did.
“I just don’t want to screw this up again Teyla.” His eyes were pleading with her to understand and she did.
“We have a second chance John and that’s more than we could have asked for.” He was still looking at her skeptically. “This may be our last chance,” she said quietly, forcing herself not to cry. “The wraith…”
She nearly whimpered when he pulled away from her completely. He moved back over to his side of the bed and rested his head in his hands. Sitting up she turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak.
“This isn’t about the wraith Teyla. This,” he said gesturing in the air between them. “This is about you and me. When we do this I want it to be because you love me, not because of any other reason.”
“John…” she said quietly as he raised his head to look at her.
“No,” he said. “I’ll wait forever if I have to Teyla.” When he saw that she was going to protest he continued. “And don’t you dare say that we don’t have forever.”
She was actually quite shocked that he could read her so well. “John…”
He shook his head, silently telling her to be quiet. “I don’t plan on dying Teyla, and you better not either. After we kick the wraith’s ass, and I mean seriously kick their ass, then we can figure this out if that’s what it takes. I am not going to rush this Teyla, because the last thing that I want to do right now is screw us up.”
***
He figured that he may have been a little harsh with Teyla, but he needed her to know… to understand. There was no way that anything between them was going to work if they didn’t understand each other. He understood all the emotions that she was feeling; he really did, because he was feeling them too. But the last thing that he wanted was for her to use him as an escape from them. Their relationship needed to mean more to her than that.
He sighed and looked away from her, figuring that he had probably somehow managed to screw them up anyway. When after a few minutes Teyla hadn’t said or done anything he was beginning to get worried. But he didn’t want to look over at her because he was afraid that she would either be crying or very angry. That’s why he was surprised when he felt the bed shift under her weight and her arms wrap around him from behind.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly in his ear. He shifted his head slightly but he could only partially see her over his shoulder. He did however feel the warmth of her body pressed up against his back.
“Teyla I’m…”
“No,” she interrupted softly. “Let me talk.” He nodded and she continued. “I love you with all my heart John, I always have.”
Her words made him happier than anything else could. He squeezed one of her hands with his own, but he didn’t say anything because he knew she wasn’t done.
“I just… I feel so hopeless because we have no control over this situation, none.”
“Hey,” he said softly, turning to try and look at her face. “We’re going to win this Teyla, I’m not giving up.”
She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I want to believe that John, but I’ve never been as strong as you.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”
He saw her feeble attempt at a smile, and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this.” He knew what she was referring to. “I do love you John, and I already feel as if I’ve waited too long for this.” She let out a sigh and the soft rush of air brushed past his ear.
“I feel like I’ve been waiting forever too Teyla,” he said softly. “But I don’t mind waiting longer if that’s what it takes to make this work. This means more to me than that… our family means more to me than that.”
He was only a little bit surprised when she squeezed her arms tighter around his waist. “I love you,” she said softly in his ear.
He smiled before saying, “I love you too.”
“You’re right,” she said. “This needs to be about us.”
He let out a contented sigh. “I’m glad you understand.”
She nodded her head against his shoulder. “I do.”
When she pulled back John turned on the bed so that he was facing her again. He returned the warm smile she gave him with a surge of relief. He hadn’t screwed things up any more, and for that he was eternally grateful.
She leaned in towards him and she gave him a light kiss on the lips. John was surprised at how much more open Teyla seemed to be regarding him, but it was a pleasant surprise.
When their gazes locked again he could tell by the way she was looking at him - right into his soul - that in that moment there was only them. There was no wraith, no possible death, no upcoming fights, just them.
This time when she deepened the kiss he didn’t stop her.
TBC
Chapter Title: Chapter 17 - Emotions Run High
Author: Nytel
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: John/Teyla
Genre: Romance, general
Main Characters: John and Teyla, but nearly everyone makes an appearance.
Spoilers: Up to 203.
Summary: Teyla and John spend one night together, and they could never have imagined the series of events that would unfold because of it. These events would change the lives and the future of everyone in Atlantis.
Beta:
mlsky
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis.
Feedback: Any feedback is very much appreciated.
Prologue: http://nytel.livejournal.com/6539.html#cutid1
Chapter 1: http://nytel.livejournal.com/6715.html#cutid1
Chapter 2: http://nytel.livejournal.com/7290.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://nytel.livejournal.com/10722.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://nytel.livejournal.com/13158.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://nytel.livejournal.com/13707.html#cutid1
Chapter 6: http://nytel.livejournal.com/14574.html#cutid1
Chapter 7: http://nytel.livejournal.com/15691.html#cutid2
Chapter 8: http://nytel.livejournal.com/18066.html#cutid1
Chapter 9: http://nytel.livejournal.com/21770.html#cutid1
Chapter 10: http://nytel.livejournal.com/22280.html#cutid1
Chapter 11: http://nytel.livejournal.com/25910.html#cutid1
Chapter 12 - Part 1: http://nytel.livejournal.com/29771.html#cutid1
Chapter 12 - Part 2: http://nytel.livejournal.com/30018.html#cutid1
Chapter 13: http://nytel.livejournal.com/30601.html#cutid1
Chapter 14: http://nytel.livejournal.com/31225.html#cutid1
Chapter 15: http://nytel.livejournal.com/31509.html#cutid1
Chapter 16: http://nytel.livejournal.com/32480.html#cutid2
Previously:
With a surge of rage he raised his P-90, aiming straight for the wraith’s chest. He didn’t care how many damn bullets it took, but the bastard was going down.
John’s finger was on the trigger. As he pulled it back he heard Teyla’s frantic voice come over the radio, “John stop!”
Chapter 17 - Emotions Run High
It was too late; he had already pulled the trigger. Thankfully however, his reaction time was swift and he managed to lower his P-90 so that the bullet entered into the wraith’s foot instead of his chest.
“What the hell?!” he screamed into the radio.
The wraith smirked at him through a grimace of pain. “If I die, so do they.”
At nearly the exact same moment John heard Teyla’s voice. “You cannot kill the wraith that is possessing the twins. If you do…” Her voice broke off in a sob. “They will die.”
He could feel his heart racing in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach. He had almost killed his children.
“John?” Teyla’s desperate voice in his ear brought him back to reality. The rest of his attack team was waiting patiently for him to give orders.
“Ronon, Ford,” he said. “Tie him up and put him in the jumper.”
“Sir?” Ford asked skeptically.
“Do it, Lieutenant.”
Ford nodded and with Ronon’s help he restrained the wraith and headed out to the jumper.
John signaled at the remaining men and women to file out. Just as he was exiting the wraith ship he heard Teyla calling his name over the radio again.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said in a shaky voice. “We’re bringing the wraith back to the city.”
***
She let out a strangled sob of relief and sank to the ground outside the holding room. Carson was hovering over her worriedly, but she barely even noticed.
“Teyla?” she heard John’s voice come over Dr. Beckett’s headset that she was wearing.
She pressed the talk button, but when she tried to talk all that she could manage was a muffled sob.
“Hey,” John said quietly. “It’s ok Teyla, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
When she heard his voice cut out and the connection break she automatically handed the headset back to Carson. He took it from her shaking hand before he crouched down beside her. She knew that he was worried because she was still sobbing, but he couldn’t even begin to understand the emotions that were running through her body.
He gave her arm a comforting squeeze before standing up and heading back into the holding room to check on the twins.
***
“Take him to the holding cell and make sure he’s placed under heavy guard,” John ordered as he stepped out of his jumper.
“Yes sir,” Ford said as he turned to leave, followed by the wraith and an escort of marines.
Just after the group exited the hanger bay Elizabeth and Colonel Caldwell entered. Looking at him inquisitively Dr. Weir asked, “Would you care to explain Colonel?”
“Yes,” Caldwell said. “I think that an explanation is required. Your orders were to destroy the wraith Colonel, not take them prisoner.”
“Well I’m so sorry,” he said in a sarcastic voice that would make Rodney proud.
“Colonel!” Elizabeth shouted in surprise. Caldwell just looked shocked.
The thing was that John didn’t even care. There was no way in hell that he was going to apologize for saving his children’s lives.
“I’ve been in charge of the military contingent for almost seven years!” he shouted, the day’s events finally getting to him. “Now I’m not saying that there haven’t been complaints about the way that I do things, but I do my job and I make decisions that I feel are the right ones.” He paused just long enough to take a breath before continuing. “So when I found out that killing that wraith would kill my kids, I thought hey… maybe I don’t feel like being responsible for the death of my children!”
Everyone appeared too shocked at his outburst to say anything. Elizabeth was opening and closing her mouth, but no words were coming out.
John knew that he would probably feel badly for reacting like this later, but right now he didn’t care. He had so many emotions all rolling around inside of him and he honestly didn’t know how else to respond
He quickly took off his vest and threw it to the ground beside one of the nearby jumpers. “If you need to know anything else ask Ford. He was there.”
John started to walk out when he heard Elizabeth’s voice. “John wait…”
“No,” he said without even turning around to look at her. “If you need anything talk to Ford. I’m going to find Teyla.”
“Colonel,” Caldwell called out. “I could bring you up on charges for this.”
“Go ahead,” he said loudly as he exited through the door. “I don’t give a damn.”
***
Carson had left the holding room a few minutes ago and had reassured her that the twins were doing fine. It didn’t stop her from feeling… well, she didn’t know what she was feeling. Obviously she was relieved, and happy that the twins were ok, or at least as good as could be expected. But at the same time she was terrified. She had been so close to actually losing them and it made her feel nauseous. Plus there was the fact that they were still under the influence of the wraith, and obviously they wanted the twins for something.
Teyla shuddered and pulled her knees up to her chest. Why was this happening? The twins didn’t deserve it; they were kids, not even five years old. It just wasn’t fair.
She bit back a sob and rested her head on her knees. Pulling her legs in tighter towards her body, wondering if she could actually do this. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to get through this. With the discovery of the wraith on the mainland the absolute seriousness of the situation had set in. Teyla knew that they were going to have to put up one hell of a fight if they were going to get out of this intact. And without question it would be harder than last time, and almost certainly more people would die.
***
As John passed Carson in the hallway he asked if he’d seen Teyla. He wasn’t surprised when he was told that she was by the holding room.
He pushed himself through the unexpectedly crowded hallways, trying to make it there as fast as he could. When he had talked to her on the radio she had been distraught, something that he could entirely relate with. He just needed to find her and make sure that she was ok, or that she was going to be ok. He didn’t think she could be, right then.
He saw the marines first, standing unmoving outside the room. It took him a few more moments to notice that Teyla was there, tucked into a corner, knees pulled tight against her chest and her head laying on them.
John felt his heart constrict at the sight. He wasn’t sure how she would react so he approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her. He gently lowered himself down beside her so that he was resting against the wall beside her. By the way her back stiffened for a few moments and then relaxed, he knew that she recognized his presence.
Not knowing what else to do he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her up against his side. He didn’t give a damn that half the marines were staring at them. They both needed this.
With hardly any coaxing she turned so that she was facing him partially and then wrapped her arms around his torso. She buried her head in his shoulder and John could feel the tears as they started to soak through his shirt.
He tugged her closer still and rested his head on top of hers. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Instead he just held her close against his body. He wasn’t really that surprised when he felt streaks of wetness on his cheeks.
***
Teyla was exhausted. She had her eyes closed and was leaning against John, focusing on the steady rise and fall of his chest. She was just starting to drift off when she felt him pull away. Confused she opened her eyes and watched as he stood up. He offered his hand to her and she reached up and took it, letting him pull her to her feet.
“Come on,” he said quietly as he tugged on the hand that he hadn’t released yet. He took a few steps down the hallway and she stumbled after him. He paused and asked her is she was all right. She nodded her head but he didn’t look convinced. The next thing she knew he was scooping her up off the ground. She let out a weak protest, but he didn’t put her down.
“You shouldn’t do this John.”
“Yeah well,” he said in a sarcastic voice. “It’s not the only time today.”
She turned her head so that she could look into his eyes. “What do you mean?”
He started walking before he responded. “Don’t worry about it.”
As they rounded a corner she reached up and brushed her fingers along his cheek. “If something is bothering you John… you can tell me.”
She was more than a little surprised when he smiled at her words. “What?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he said. “It’s just that after…” He paused as if changing his mind, “You’re just an amazing woman Teyla.”
She couldn’t stop the blush from creeping onto her cheeks. Before John had time to notice she said, “You can tell me.”
He sighed as he shifted her in his arms a little bit. “It’s just Elizabeth and Caldwell.”
“What did they do?” she asked in a concerned voice.
“They tried to reprimand me for bringing the wraith back as a prisoner, since my orders were to destroy all the wraith.”
“What?” Teyla asked indignantly.
“Yeah,” John huffed out. “But they can go to hell because there is no way that I’m going to apologize for saving the lives of our kids.”
Teyla’s heart surged at his words. He had said our kids.
“You ok?” he asked quietly after she remained silent for a few moments.
“Yes,” she replied.
Even though she was mostly awake now she let John still carry her. As they were making their way towards the living quarters of the city she couldn’t help but think about John’s response to Dr. Weir and Colonel Caldwell. It brought a small smile to her face as she realized that the old John was back.
***
John carried Teyla down the hallway towards her quarters in silence. It was kind of odd considering that she wasn’t hurt, but he didn’t really care. He liked the feeling of having her in his arms.
They were finally in the living quarters section of the city, and they just had a few more turns to make before they were at Teyla’s rooms. As John was passing his room Teyla told him to stop. He did, and when she asked him to put her down he did that too. It was really stupid for her to walk now. They were so close to her quarters, and she’d already let him carry her all this way.
He was surprised when she reached for his hand with one of hers and used the other to open the door to his quarters. He raised his eyebrows at her questioningly, but she just pulled him into the room behind her. She didn’t stop, but instead pulled him over to the bed that was against the far wall.
John’s heart began to race at the thought of Teyla in his bed, but he forced himself to remember that she had been seriously devastated only minutes before and now was not the time for that.
It was early in the evening, but John lay down beside Teyla on the bed anyway. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. She seemed to be holding up a little better than before. He figured it was probably just because the shock had worn off; he was feeling something similar.
Without even really thinking about it John reached over and brushed a few stray hairs away from Teyla’s face. She let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes. He continued to run his hands lightly over the side of her face, even though the hair was no longer in the way. John couldn’t force himself to stop and he continued caressing her face gently until her breathing deepened. He figured she was probably asleep.
Reluctantly he stopped and shifted his position so that he was lying on his side facing her. He didn’t like the small gap that was separating them so he gently moved himself closer to her. It was if she sensed his thoughts because she rolled closer to him too, right up until she was pressed against the length of his body.
John sighed and placed a soft kiss on the top of her forehead. He moved his one arm so that it was wrapped around her shoulders, and then he pulled her closer. She nestled into his side and John couldn’t resist dropping another kiss onto her hairline.
After admiring her for a long time, and letting his fingers draw lazy circles on her back, he closed his eyes. The adrenaline of the day was finally leaving his body and he was feeling drowsy. He didn’t stop tracing patterns on her back though; it was soothing him.
He murmured a quiet “I love you” into her hair before he finally drifted off.
***
Teyla sat up abruptly as she broke free from her nightmare. Her back was clammy and her hands were shaking. She closed her eyes briefly and took a few calming breaths. When she opened them again she felt a little better, and it was then that she realized she wasn’t in her quarters. She only needed to turn her head slightly to the side to see John sprawled out beside her on the bed. His face was half buried in the pillow, and he was breathing deeply.
She was glad that she hadn’t woken him up. Quietly she turned to the side and placed her feet on the ground. Just as she was standing up, John rolled closer to her, as if seeking the warmth from her body. Instinctively she placed a hand on his shoulder and muttered soothing words under her breath.
She walked over toward the small bathroom area, and entered shutting the door softly behind her. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights, but instead headed for the small sink and ran the taps until the water was sufficiently cool. Teyla cupped her hands underneath the stream of water and let them fill up, and then she lowered her face and splashed the cold water over it. The crispness of the water helped her to wake up a little bit, and to push the nightmare to the back of her mind. She turned off the taps, and being unable to find a towel, wiped her hands on her pants.
She exited the tiny bathroom just as quietly as she had entered it. As she was walking back toward the bed she realized that she was still wearing her boots. She changed direction and headed toward the door. Immediately she began to unlace them, planning to leave them there, as was Athosian custom.
***
When John started to wake up he felt cold and instinctively reached toward Teyla to pull her body closer to him. When he hand found nothing but the blanket his eyes shot open. His initial thoughts were that she was gone. He was in the process of mentally kicking himself when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.
Teyla was crouched in front of the door apparently putting on her boots. It hurt him to know that she would leave this way, without saying good-bye. He’d dealt with enough of that already.
“You’re leaving?” He asked sadly, his voice still groggy from sleep.
She looked surprised to see that she was awake. With a raised eyebrow she said, “No…”
He pushed himself up to a sitting position with one hand, and used the other to wipe sleep from his eyes. “You’re putting your boots on,” he said quietly.
He was surprised when she gave him a small smile. “I was taking them off.”
It was his turn to be surprised. “What?”
As she stood up and walked back up towards the bed he saw that she was indeed bare foot. It made him smile.
Instead of coming to lie back down she paused by the foot of the bed. She pointed at his feet and then he realized that he must have forgot to take his boots of too.
“I am not the only one who forgot.”
What really surprised him was when she began to undo the laces on his boots. He was going to protest, but one stern look from her cut him off before he even began. She tugged both boots off his feet and then went and placed them by hers. When she came back she tugged off his socks too. He was utterly amazed that after five years she still remembered his pet peeve about sleeping in socks.
***
Teyla was a little surprised that John thought she would leave, but instead of getting upset she just planned on proving to him that she wasn’t leaving, not again. After pulling off his socks and dropping them on the floor, (there were at least three other pairs there), she climbed back up onto the bed.
Just as she was lying down John asked, “So you’re not leaving?”
“Not unless you want me to,” she said in a semi-light tone.
“No.” He protested quickly, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. From his new position he was kind of leaning over her.
She smiled up at him. “I was kidding John, I am not leaving.”
“Good,” he said in a very heartfelt voice.
Their eyes locked and Teyla was sure that her heart paused for a moment. All of the love she saw there was astonishing, but she needed to make sure that he understood how she felt too. She didn’t want any more uncertainty between them.
She reached up with one hand and wrapped it around the back of his neck, and then she pulled his head down to hers for a gentle kiss. At least it was intended to be gentle, but things heated up fairly quickly and within minutes Teyla found herself pinned to the mattress underneath John’s weight.
She had just begun to tug his black shirt out of the waistband of his pants when he pulled away. “Are you sure about this Teyla?” His voice was hesitant as if he feared her answer.
“Yes,” she said softly as she tried to pull his head back down to hers. He was still resisting and it frightened her, maybe he didn’t want her. But the look in his eyes told her that he did.
“I just don’t want to screw this up again Teyla.” His eyes were pleading with her to understand and she did.
“We have a second chance John and that’s more than we could have asked for.” He was still looking at her skeptically. “This may be our last chance,” she said quietly, forcing herself not to cry. “The wraith…”
She nearly whimpered when he pulled away from her completely. He moved back over to his side of the bed and rested his head in his hands. Sitting up she turned to look at him, waiting for him to speak.
“This isn’t about the wraith Teyla. This,” he said gesturing in the air between them. “This is about you and me. When we do this I want it to be because you love me, not because of any other reason.”
“John…” she said quietly as he raised his head to look at her.
“No,” he said. “I’ll wait forever if I have to Teyla.” When he saw that she was going to protest he continued. “And don’t you dare say that we don’t have forever.”
She was actually quite shocked that he could read her so well. “John…”
He shook his head, silently telling her to be quiet. “I don’t plan on dying Teyla, and you better not either. After we kick the wraith’s ass, and I mean seriously kick their ass, then we can figure this out if that’s what it takes. I am not going to rush this Teyla, because the last thing that I want to do right now is screw us up.”
***
He figured that he may have been a little harsh with Teyla, but he needed her to know… to understand. There was no way that anything between them was going to work if they didn’t understand each other. He understood all the emotions that she was feeling; he really did, because he was feeling them too. But the last thing that he wanted was for her to use him as an escape from them. Their relationship needed to mean more to her than that.
He sighed and looked away from her, figuring that he had probably somehow managed to screw them up anyway. When after a few minutes Teyla hadn’t said or done anything he was beginning to get worried. But he didn’t want to look over at her because he was afraid that she would either be crying or very angry. That’s why he was surprised when he felt the bed shift under her weight and her arms wrap around him from behind.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly in his ear. He shifted his head slightly but he could only partially see her over his shoulder. He did however feel the warmth of her body pressed up against his back.
“Teyla I’m…”
“No,” she interrupted softly. “Let me talk.” He nodded and she continued. “I love you with all my heart John, I always have.”
Her words made him happier than anything else could. He squeezed one of her hands with his own, but he didn’t say anything because he knew she wasn’t done.
“I just… I feel so hopeless because we have no control over this situation, none.”
“Hey,” he said softly, turning to try and look at her face. “We’re going to win this Teyla, I’m not giving up.”
She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I want to believe that John, but I’ve never been as strong as you.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”
He saw her feeble attempt at a smile, and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this.” He knew what she was referring to. “I do love you John, and I already feel as if I’ve waited too long for this.” She let out a sigh and the soft rush of air brushed past his ear.
“I feel like I’ve been waiting forever too Teyla,” he said softly. “But I don’t mind waiting longer if that’s what it takes to make this work. This means more to me than that… our family means more to me than that.”
He was only a little bit surprised when she squeezed her arms tighter around his waist. “I love you,” she said softly in his ear.
He smiled before saying, “I love you too.”
“You’re right,” she said. “This needs to be about us.”
He let out a contented sigh. “I’m glad you understand.”
She nodded her head against his shoulder. “I do.”
When she pulled back John turned on the bed so that he was facing her again. He returned the warm smile she gave him with a surge of relief. He hadn’t screwed things up any more, and for that he was eternally grateful.
She leaned in towards him and she gave him a light kiss on the lips. John was surprised at how much more open Teyla seemed to be regarding him, but it was a pleasant surprise.
When their gazes locked again he could tell by the way she was looking at him - right into his soul - that in that moment there was only them. There was no wraith, no possible death, no upcoming fights, just them.
This time when she deepened the kiss he didn’t stop her.
TBC