Finding Purpose (25/25) ~ Complete!

[nytel]

Title: Finding Purpose (25/25)

Author: Nytel
Rating: R

Spoilers: Up to 213 (Epiphanies)

Pairings: Kara/Lee, Racetrack/Zak

Genre: Angst/Romance

Summary: When your whole life gets flipped upside down, you need to find a reason to go on.
Word Count: 4, 715
Beta: The wonderful
i_am_girlfriday! 
Disclaimer: I am merely borrowing them. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This fic is AU after Epiphanies.

Previous Chapters

Chapter 24 Recap

On Caprica: Cylon Zak helps Kara to escape the farm. They stop and pick up Sharon on their way out. Once they make it outside Zak points out their escape route. Just before they take off Zak slips something into Kara's pocket and tells her to look at it when she's safe. He explains that he's not going with them back to Galactica. Kara thanks him for his help. He covers their retreat.

For a while they aren't followed, but eventually Kara and Sharon detect centurions chasing them through the forest. Just as Kara thinks they're screwed, she spots the resistance building in the distance. Then someone yells 'Get down'. Kara grabs Sharon and dives to the ground, hitting her head against a tree in the process.

When Kara wakes up she's in Delphi Union High School, base camp of the resistance. She goes to talk to Sam and he asks her who Lee is, because she was moaning his name when she was unconcious. Kara tells him and Sam returns her dog tag.

Next they head for a clearing where Cylon Zak left them 3 heavy raiders. They board them and start heading back to Galactica. After the first jump Kara reaches into her pocket and pulls out the thing the cylon gave her, which turns out to be a note. She reads it and says "That bastard."

On Galactica: Maggie is worried about Lee and Helo. They're both completely devastated by the turn of events. Maggie decides to go find Helo and see if there's anything she can do to help. But before this she talks to Zak about going to see Lee. She prompts Zak to talk to Lee, he says he will.

Lee is depressed. He feels like he has nothing left to live for. He regrets not telling Kara about his feelings sooner, he regrets that he'll never be say he loves her back. Everything seems hopeless. Ever since his release from sickbay (he was in there because of the concussion a centurion gave him while knocking him out), Lee has stayed in his bunk because it still smells like Kara.

Zak comes to talk to Lee. He says he understands, but Lee gets angry because Zak got Maggie back and he doesn't think he'll get Kara back (because he knows she can't escape a cylon prison on her own).

Adama calls Zak in to talk to him. He asks about Lee. Zak explains the situation between Kara and Lee. Adama is suprised, but he asks what he can do to help Lee. Zak says he'll think of something.

Later Lee is called down to CIC to observe a refuelling op. His dad explains that he wants to help take Lee's mind off of recent events. Just as Lee is about to leave CIC, 3 enemy contacts appear on dradis. Then they hear: “Galactica, Starbuck. Requesting permission to speak to Galactica Actual.”

End of chapter 24

Chapter 25

Kara piloted the heavy raider toward Galactica’s flight pod with a huge grin on her face. They’d made it back, safe and without any snags in their plan. After asking her a couple of questions that only she would know the answer to, the Old Man had welcomed Kara back and given her and the resistance permission to land.

The heavy raiders were surprisingly easy to fly, and within minutes all three had touched down, no problem. Not long after, mag locks secured and the ships began their descent into the hangar deck. The familiar scene of the busy hangar made her grin even wider.

“Good to be home?” Sam asked as he looked out of the window from behind her.

Kara immediately thought of Lee and how much she couldn’t wait to see him. “You have no idea,” she replied earnestly.

As soon as the movement of the raider stopped, she pressed the button on the console that released the rear hatch on the ship. It lowered slowly and the second it touched Galactica’s deck, resistance members began filing out. Kara could hear Cally directing them once they had exited the ship. Kara followed at the rear of the group, having to force herself to stay back and not push through the crowd in her excitement.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably less than two minutes, she stepped off the raider. Her eyes immediately scanned the hangar deck. Off to her right she saw Helo rushing forward to embrace Sharon, looking as though he would have lifted her off the ground and spun her around had she not been pregnant. Almost directly in front of her stood the resistance. Cally was taking their names and making a list on a clipboard. But none of that kept her attention for very long. She was looking for something else, someone else in particular, except he wasn’t there.

Kara felt her hopes plummet. Why wasn’t he there? Had something happened-? Her mind paused mid-thought as she saw him rush through the entrance to the hangar deck at full speed. Her heart immediately began to pound faster, and a smile of relief lit her face.

As their eyes locked, Lee came to an abrupt halt, almost like he couldn’t quite believe that she was there. Emotion welled up and for a few seconds she had to force herself to keep breathing. Gods, she loved him so much.

Suddenly her stupor broke and she moved as fast as she could, pushing her way through the crowd of deckhands and pilots to get to Lee. He was doing the same. The next thing she knew he had wrapped her up in his arms so tightly that she thought he might crack a rib. But she didn’t care, and hugged him back just as fiercely.

A few tears slid down her cheeks and she buried her head against the side of Lee’s neck as relief flooded over her. She’d been so close to never seeing him again. She inhaled deeply, taking comfort in his familiar smell.

Lee tilted his head towards her ear. “I love you too,” he whispered tenderly as he squeezed her even harder.

Abruptly Kara pulled back, her actions reminiscent of their reunion after her first return from Caprica. She briefly registered the confused look on Lee’s face before she kissed him passionately. It took him a second to respond, but it wasn’t long until he was kissing her back. Lee deepened the kiss, seeming like his intent was to devour her with his mouth, not that she minded. There was also desperation there, like he was afraid she would disappear at any moment.

Reluctantly she broke the kiss, but she wanted to reassure Lee that this was real, that she was there. Before she could get the words out she heard a voice whose false sincerity sent a shiver down her spine.

“Ah, Captain Thrace. I’m so glad that you made it back safely, and Sharon as well.”

In one smooth movement, Kara stepped away from Lee, drew her gun and pointed it at Baltar. Rage burned inside of her and she had to use all of her willpower to not pull the trigger.

“Don’t you frakking move,” she ordered as she steadied the gun with her other hand.

In one instant the mood in the hangar deck had gone from one of excitement and happiness, to one of apprehension. There was absolutely no noise and Kara could feel everyone staring at her.

“Kara, what’s going on?” Lee asked in a wary voice as he looked back and forth between her and Baltar. The doctor looked like he was scared enough to wet himself, but he hadn’t moved an inch since she’d drawn her weapon.

“It was him,” she said in a surprisingly steady voice. “He was the one that allowed the initial cylon attack to happen.”

Baltar paled, and started to object, but she kept talking.

“He let a cylon into the defense mainframe. He’s the reason that billions of innocent people are dead.”

Anyone else would have asked for proof, but not Lee. He grabbed a spare gun from the nearest marine and in a second he had it pointed at Baltar as well.

The doctor looked positively terrified. His face was whiter than a sheet of paper and he was opening and closing his mouth like a fish. “That’s… that is a lie,” he finally managed to say in shaky voice.

“’Cuff him,” Kara ordered, addressing the nearest marine.

As the private moved to take a step forward, Baltar looked over his shoulder and stared, mouth partially open, but there was nothing there. He was murmuring hurriedly, but it was something that none of them could quite make out. Then suddenly, he bolted, practically tripping over his own feet in a dash for the nearest heavy raider.

Kara lunged forward, tackling him before he could get a head start. He fell to the deck hard, smashing his face against the ridging. Kara landed on top of him, causing all the breath to whoosh out of his lungs. She jammed her good knee into the small of his back and applied pressure, lots of pressure.

When he cried out in pain, she made sure to push just a little bit more.

“This isn’t fair,” he yelled hysterically against the deck. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Save it,” Kara spat out from between clenched teeth.

A second later someone was holding a pair of handcuffs in front of her face. She looked up to find Lee staring down at her. She took the handcuffs and put them on Baltar. She felt a small surge of satisfaction when the bastard winced as she tightened them.

Kara stood up, and Lee moved in. Reaching down he hauled Baltar up by the chain of the handcuffs and forced him to his feet. “Let’s go,” Lee said harshly. “I’m sure the brig has a nice cell waiting for you.”

Lee caught Kara’s eye for a brief second. The last thing he wanted to do was leave, but duty called. Kara nodded once, conveying her understanding. They’d see each other soon, that was certain.

***

The next few hours were hectic. Within seconds of Lee leaving to take Baltar to the brig, she’d been ushered to Galactica’s meeting room by a couple of marines. There she’d found Colonel Tigh, the President, and the Admiral waiting for her.

Immediately after she’d walked in the hatch, the Old Man had wrapped her up in a hug that was unexpected and brought tears to her eyes. He kissed her forehead in a very rare show of affection and told her he was glad to have her back. She had to force her emotions to remain in check when she told him that she was happy to be back. He’d smiled at her knowingly before gesturing for her to take a seat so they could begin the debriefing.

She told them everything she remembered, starting from the moment the alarms had gone off, to when they’d arrived back at the fleet; though she did leave out the kiss she’d shared with Lee in the arms locker, that was private. When she had to explain her deal with Leoben, agreeing to go with him if he let Lee live, the Old Man raised his eyebrows in surprise. Kara realized that Lee must have never mentioned it. Her heart ached as she thought of how much pain he must have been in.

When they asked about Baltar, she explained the note from Cylon Zak in greater detail. She showed it to them, letting them read it themselves. The Old Man asked her whether or not she thought they could trust the cylon’s word. She said yes, without reservation.

Once they’d questioned her to their satisfaction, the Admiral dismissed her, but not before informing her that she had to report to sickbay for a mandatory check up. She had after all been taken as a prisoner by the cylons. Kara had opened her mouth to protest, but the Old Man was firm in his decision, and before she knew it she was in sickbay. Kara just hoped that Cottle would be quick, because all she wanted to do was find Lee.

But it seemed that her luck had run out for the day. Kara groaned in frustration as she waited in a sickbay cubicle for Cottle to show up. The problem was, he also had to check out every member of the resistance who’d come back with her, and it was likely they needed the medical attention much more than she did. Checking her watch for what seemed like the millionth time since she sat down, she saw that she’d been waiting for over an hour.

“A little impatient, Starbuck?” came a cheerful voice.

Looking up she saw Helo walk into the cubicle. She couldn’t help but smile. “Hey.” After a second she added, “What are you doing here?”

“Sharon,” he explained. “Cottle’s with her right now, finishing up an ultrasound. Everything looks fine.” Karl breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Kara. Thank you for bringing them back to me.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

Karl’s serious look turned into a sly grin. “So… Apollo.”

Kara felt her cheeks heat up but she met Karl’s gaze. “Yeah.” She wasn’t embarrassed for people to know, but they had been making out in the middle hangar deck. She grinned at the memory, not that she would change their reunion if she could.

Helo smiled at her. “I’m happy for you ‘Buck,” he said sincerely. “But if he hurts you, I’ll have to kick his ass.”

“He won’t,” she said confidently.

Karl nodded. “I have a feeling you’re right. He was here, by the way. But Cottle kicked him out, said he didn’t need any more people in an overly crowded sickbay. Just thought you might want to know.”

Kara smiled, sure that she had never felt so cared for in her entire life. She wasn’t even hurt, barely banged up, but still, Lee was worried enough to come to sickbay and check on her. How did she get so lucky?

***

Lee paced the bunkroom, anxiously waiting for Kara to show up. He couldn’t believe she was back. He’d held her, kissed her, told her he loved her, but it still seemed too good to be true. He wanted, no needed to hold her again, to be sure that this was real.

When the hatch finally did open, he felt his heart jump into his throat. Whirling around, he saw her, standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” she said quietly. A soft smile lit up her face and she stepped in, closing and dogging the hatch behind her.

Lee could hardly hear her for the pounding of his heart against his ribcage. Suddenly he was nervous, more nervous than he could ever remember being in his life. His feet were glued to the deck and he couldn’t move. This was all so new to them.

“Lee?”

The sound of her voice suddenly propelled him forward. In only a few strides he’d crossed the bunkroom. He pulled Kara into a hug, holding her against him tightly. Her arms automatically came up to wrap around his neck, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He loved the way she felt, fitting against him perfectly, like she belonged there.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, just holding each other, but it was a considerable amount of time. He simply couldn’t bring himself to let go.

“I missed you,” Kara whispered against his neck.

Lee pulled her closer yet, until there wasn’t an inch of air between them. “I missed you too. I thought…” He took a deep breath, fighting the emotion that tightened his throat. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”

Somehow she knew exactly what his worries were, because she said, “I’m here, Lee. This is real.”

He couldn’t speak, but nodded against her shoulder. He just wanted to stay there with her, like this, forever. But there were questions burning in his mind that needed answers.

Slowly he released his hold on her and pulled back. Kara smiled up at him softly, and he had the uncontrollable urge to kiss her. He grinned as he realized his didn’t have to fight those urges anymore. Leaning down, he kissed her gently. What started out as fairly innocent began to get heated quickly, as Kara opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. Her fingers moved up to twine themselves in the short hairs at the base of his neck, and soon his hands were cupping her face.

With great difficulty, he managed to pull back before things went further. He leaned his forehead against Kara’s as he caught his breath. She smiled at him calmly. “You want to know what happened.”

“Only if you want to tell me, Kara. If you don’t, that’s-“

“Of course I’ll tell you,” she replied, before angling her head to kiss him once, quickly.

Kara threaded the fingers of her right hand through his left and lead him over to his bunk. They sat down and Kara began to talk. She explained everything with just enough detail so that he knew what had happened, but not so much that it wasted an unnecessary amount of time. Their hands stayed interlocked the entire time.

The first question he asked when she’d finished was, “Are you okay?” The mention of her destiny had sent shivers down his spine and knowing that she’d had to face the cylon that had crushed her hopes of happiness… well, it had him worried.

She didn’t reply immediately. She let out a deep breath and then looked him in the eye. “Yeah, I think I am.”

He smiled, feeling so proud of her. She was unquestionably the strongest person he knew.

But there was one thing still floating around in the back of his mind. “Why?” He asked. “Why did you agree to go with Leoben?”

She looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “To save your life.”

“You couldn’t have known that Leoben would keep his end of the bargain.”

“No, but I had to try. Lee, I love you. I would do anything to save your life.”

Lee opened his mouth to say something in response, but she shook her head and cut him off by saying, “Don’t. I know you would have done the exact same thing for me.”

“Of course I would have,” he admitted as he realized her point. He supposed that knowing that she loved him that much would take some getting used to, not that he minded the idea. In fact, he didn’t mind it at all.

***

Kara leaned forward, closing the small gap between them, and kissed Lee. He smiled against her lips before kissing her back. She could definitely get used to this. Her heart fluttered as she realized that she would be getting used to this, because neither her nor Lee were going anywhere. This wasn’t some fling, she loved him, and he loved her just as much.

One of Lee’s hands came to rest gently at the back of her neck as his tongue sought entrance into her mouth. Kara parted her lips and reveled in the moist heat of the kiss. Lee worked his tongue gently but surely against hers, and she trembled as she let the bliss wash over her.

Lee placed his other hand on her waist and tugged her towards him. Not breaking the kiss, she maneuvered herself so that she was straddling his lap. Kara let her hands come up to rest on Lee’s shoulders. Her fingers ran over the worn material of his tanks, slowly tracing the lines of muscle beneath.

There was a smoldering heat that fueled their actions, but nothing about their movements was rushed. They were both too fixed on savoring each moment.

The kiss continued for a delightful eternity, slow and achingly sweet. When both of Lee’s hand started playing at the waistband of her pants, fingertips barely brushing the exposed skin of her back, Kara felt tears building in her eyes. His actions were so soft and gentle, nothing at all like she was used to. This was what it was like to be truly loved. For the first time ever she felt like she was the most important person in someone else’s life, and even better, Lee’s life. She’d never thought it was possible to be this happy.

Lee broke the kiss, pulling back to stare at her, concern lining his face. “Kara, what’s wrong?”

It was only then she realized that a few tears had slid down her cheeks. She shook her head. “Nothing. Everything’s perfect.” She gave him a watery smile. “I love you.”

He smiled back as he wiped her tears away with his thumb. “I love you too, Kara, more than anything.”

She brushed her thumbs long his jaw line and leaned down to press her lips against his. “I know,” she whispered.

Kara’s lips moved across Lee’s chin, along his jaw and down to his pulse point. She sucked lightly at the tender skin and Lee’s breath hitched in his throat. He moaned her name and pulled her closer as she continued the ministrations on his neck. She could feel the hardness of his erection pressing against her and it caused a rush of arousal to surge through her. The intensity of it caught her off guard, she’d never wanted anyone this much before.

She found Lee’s hands holding her hips gently and she covered them with her own before moving them upward, underneath the fabric of her tanks. Lee pulled back and caught her gaze, silently asking her if she was sure. She nodded and together they pulled the garments free of her body. They dropped from her hand as Lee’s hands moved up to cup her breasts. His touch was gentle as he rubbed his thumbs over cloth-covered nipples. Kara’s eyelids fluttered closed. It wasn’t long before she felt the delicious contact of skin on skin as Lee slipped his hands underneath her sports bra. Kara could hear her breathing becoming labored as she became even more aroused.

As she felt him tug the fabric free, she raised her arms. Kara opened her eyes at the same moment Lee took one hardened peak in his mouth. He rolled it with his tongue and she didn’t even try to lessen the moan of pure pleasure that escaped from deep in the back of her throat. “Oh gods, Lee.”

He removed his mouth and grinned before turning his attention to the other breast. Small ripples of pleasure spread through Kara’s body and her breath caught in her throat. This was insane, and it felt so right.

Just as Kara was on the verge of breaking, Lee moved his mouth. He pressed his lips between her breasts and moved downward, making a trail of kisses.

The knot of warm tension deep in her lower belly grew bigger as Lee leaned forward, lowering her down onto the bed. He waited until she was arranged comfortably on her back, with him kneeling between her legs before he continued. He kept kissing the soft skin of her abdomen, moving past her belly button, and stopping only when his lips reached the top of her pants.

She watched as he slowly unbuttoned her pants and pulled them free. His eyes lingered on her swollen knee, and he glanced up at her, worried.

“It’s fine,” she said quietly. In fact, she hadn’t given her injury a second thought since she’d walked into the bunkroom.

He nodded, and reached for her grey underwear. Kara caught his hands in hers, stilling them. Sitting up, she reached for the hem of his tanks before he could say anything. She pulled them off and took a second to simply admire him. She couldn’t resist running her hands down his chest and over his stomach.

He seemed to be just as much out of breath as her. Her hands dropped down to his belt buckle and undid it. Seconds later her fingers began work on the buttons of his dress pants, popping them open one at a time. He inhaled sharply when her fingers brushed against the bulge in his boxers.

Somewhat awkwardly Lee was able to kick off his pants without having to leave the bunk. Before she could reach for his boxers he gently took hold of her shoulders and pushed her back so that she was lying down on the bed again. This time she let him hook his thumbs into the sides of her underwear and pull them down her legs.

He stared down at her in admiration. “Gods, Kara, you’re so beautiful.”

A faint blush crept onto her cheeks. She had never considered herself to be a beautiful person, but in that moment she felt beautiful.

“Come here,” she said quietly as she gestured for Lee to lean down.

He braced his hands on either side of her head and leaned down, kissing her sweetly. She hooked her good leg around his waist and used it to pull him down on top of her. His confined erection pressed against her damp core and more ripples of pleasure ran through her body.

Kara’s hands wandered down Lee’s back before slipping into the waistband of his boxers. She pushed the material down as far as she could reach and Lee removed them the rest of the way. When he settled his weight overtop of her again, both their breaths hitched. His hardness was pressed firmly against her entrance, teasing her.

“Lee, please,” she pleaded, needing him.

He angled his hips and slid inside her slowly. Kara’s walls clenched around him, and for a few moments they both remained motionless. Lee looked down, deep into her eyes. “Love you,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Love you too.”

She brought his head down for a kiss at the same time he began to move inside her. With each thrust, their dog tags clinked together, filling the air with a soft metallic chiming sound. His strokes were long and deep, slowly building up the tension and bringing her closer to the edge. When she moaned into his mouth, he swallowed the sound of his name. She was so close. Kara began to meet his thrusts with a rhythmic movement of her hips. The kiss intensified as they both sped closer toward release. Lee was moving more quickly inside her, and Kara matched the change in his movements.

Euphoric waves of pleasure rushed through her body as Lee found his release inside of her. Kara cried out his name and she was sure she heard hers in response.

Somewhere in the haze of bliss she felt Lee roll off of her. It took much longer for her body to come down from the high enough so that she could think, let alone move. Rolling onto her side, she faced Lee. He was gazing up at her lovingly.

She smiled down at him before reaching for the blanket at the foot of the bed. She pulled it over them as she formed herself against his side and rested her head on his chest. The apple of her cheek pressed against the chain of his dog tags, and as she reached to brush them to the side, she remembered something.

Sam had said she’d given her dog tag to the wrong person. He’d been right. Kara reached behind her neck and tugged on her chain until it came loose.

“What are you doing?” Lee asked curiously as he peered at her.

She held the chain in front of her and slid one dog tag off. “I gave this to the wrong person,” she explained.

It was obvious that at first Lee didn’t know what she was talking about. Then recognition dawned on his face. “You got it back.”

She nodded. “But I want you to have it.”

Reaching around his neck, she pulled free his set of dog tags as well. She slipped the small piece of metal onto Lee’s, leaving him with three. She moved to put it back on him, but he stopped her. At first she thought he’d slipped her tag back off, but then she saw that he had removed one of his instead. He took her chain and threaded his tag onto it.

He reached around her neck and did the chain back up. He put his back on a second after, and then lay back down. Kara didn’t know what to say so she kissed him tenderly. He smiled at her knowingly and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to his side. Breathing a sigh of contentment, she laid her head down on his chest and draped an arm over his naked torso.

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the crown of her head softly.

Surprising both of them, Kara let out a huge yawn. “Sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” Lee replied, angling his head so he could look at her properly. “You must be exhausted.”

Thinking about it, she realized that the last time she’d slept was when she’d been drugged, and she wasn’t sure that counted. “Yeah,” she admitted quietly as she made herself more comfortable.

“Get some sleep,” Lee advised. He kissed her head again and wrapped his arm more securely around her shoulder.

It wasn’t long until drowsiness hit her full force and within seconds she had drifted off.

***

When Kara woke, it was only a few hours later, but she’d slept so well that it felt like it should have been longer, though it didn’t mean she was no longer tired. She yawned and nuzzled in closer to Lee. She heard him chuckle softly and she smiled against his chest. His fingers were tracing patterns on her shoulder.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, so quietly that she could barely hear him.

She nodded against his chest. “Mm hmm, what about you?”

When he didn’t answer she braced one hand on the mattress and propped herself up. There were dark bags under Lee’s eyes and he looked exhausted.

“Did you sleep at all?”

Reluctantly he shook his head. He almost seemed ashamed.

“Why not?” She asked, worried that she may have missed something.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s stupid,” he said, trying to brush it off as nothing.

She stared at him intensely. “Lee, you can tell me.”

He sighed. “I just…” he ran one hand through his hair as he thought of how to word it. “I’m just worried that if I fall asleep, I’ll wake up, and all of this will have been a dream. I’m scared that I’ll wake up and you won’t be here.”

Emotion swelled in her chest. She still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have someone who loved her that much. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said comfortingly.

He nodded, though she could still see the worry on his face.

Kara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his chest, directly beside where her dog tag lay over his heart. “Promise.”

The End
~~~

I just wanted to say a special thank you to everyone who has helped me with this story, including:
tracyj23,
gimp_homegurl,
i_am_girlfriday,
carpenyx, and
nebakanezer. I appreciate everything you guys have done to help me with this fic.

Also, thank you to everyone who has followed this story. Your comments are what kept me motivated, stopped me from giving up, and made me want to write more. I cannot thank you enough. *hugs to you all*