not that it matters
this doesn't really matter but i felt like i had misrepresented myself in my last posting. i went to the courier company today and got hired. got a radio. got ready to start tomorrow. then tonight, i woke up in a deep sweat crying without being able to stop. i couldn't stop. and though i cry a lot, i haven't cried in quite some time lately, even with all the shit that has been happening to me.
so we decided that the job wasn't for me. i don't know why. i love my bike, i love smelling bad, i love the outdoors. but i also love the freedom of being broke. that sounds like an oxymoron, but lately i've been painting and riding and thinking and writing. why sell my soul, but more my life to some dispatcher?
i got into the shower and looked at all the cuts and scrapes from only seven months on the job in boston. not for me.
especially not if i wake up sweating and crying.
am i crazy?
tomorrow i'm gonna have to call and say no. he will think i'm crazy. but at least im a little bit more happy.
so we decided that the job wasn't for me. i don't know why. i love my bike, i love smelling bad, i love the outdoors. but i also love the freedom of being broke. that sounds like an oxymoron, but lately i've been painting and riding and thinking and writing. why sell my soul, but more my life to some dispatcher?
i got into the shower and looked at all the cuts and scrapes from only seven months on the job in boston. not for me.
especially not if i wake up sweating and crying.
am i crazy?
tomorrow i'm gonna have to call and say no. he will think i'm crazy. but at least im a little bit more happy.