Imitation of Life, Or: The Further Adventures of the Stealth Mexican.

[nyssa23]

Eric likes to call me a "stealth Mexican" since he maintains that my ethnic heritage is not immediately apparent from my looks. I guess that's true enough, since folks back home usually thought I was either white or half Asian; out here I'm often taken for Hawaiian or another sort of Pacific Islander. That should give you at least some idea

Comments

[kassrachel]

Oh, honey. I don't even know how to begin to reply to this. Well, first of all, hi! and it's so good to see you here. And secondly mazal tov on being inducted onto the board -- that's completely awesome.

I mean, except, of course, for the ways in which it isn't, and this is high on the list. From a distance it's easy for me to say that this kind of experience offers that lady an opportunity for some serious tikkun ha-nefesh (repairing of the soul, e.g. making herself a better person) but it seems wrong and painful that in offering her that tikkun you yourself have to suffer.

I'm impressed as hell that you spoke up; that had to have been incredibly hard and I applaud it wildly. Especially that you did so in an even-keeled, quiet-tempered way. I might have ripped her freaking head off, once I'd decided to pipe up. Were I not Caucasian, which I am. Though I sometimes run into experiences that feel kind of similar when people in the Jewish community bash intermarrieds -- that queasy feeling of "you have no idea you're saying dreadful things about me and the man I love, do you?" Though of course it's not the same; I chose my husband, I knew what I was getting into. You were born right into your skin, and it's appalling that -- well, people are just appalling.

My hope and prayer is that over time, experiences like this one -- which I can pretty much promise you shook her to the bone, too -- will subtly begin to change her, and she can grow into fully being the person you like and admire. And my prayer for you is that a way arise for this not to taint your whole synagogue experience. Maybe there's a reason this didn't happen until you were already on the board, already invested and involved -- maybe this is like synagogue membership 201. Or, hell, 301 -- "How To Deal With People Who Turn Out To Be Bigots But Are Surprisingly Sweet For All That." Heh. Growing up in our hometown might give you something of a toolbox, there.

*hug*