I just want to float away...

[nyquiljunkie]

For the past few weeks things in my life have taken a spin and pushed me into oblivion. It's dark, cold, and very lonely. I need time to just stop moving and re-evaluate my life. It doesn't mean I love you any less, or think you're boring. It's me. I know that it sounds cliche to say, but it's true. I put myself in a position that made me question myself and everything around me that I've taken for granted. I need this time to gain a different perspective and find me. The person I use to be. She's someone who wasn't always so angry, so self conscious, so difficult. I liked her better. The other half of me that was always happy. I can't pretend anymore, I can't live a lie. I don't want to be unhappy anymore. And please don't take this the wrong way, YOU didn't make me unhappy. YOU did your best to make me smile, but sometimes it isn't enough. I have to want it enough and lately, I haven't.

There is so much in my life right now with work. I know that you hate that, but it's true. I'm so stressed and so frustrated that I don't want to take this out on you or be a burden to anyone but myself.

So please, let me just be. I love you. I always will, but this is something I need to do. Something I need to prove to myself. Something I have to do alone. And when I'm ready, I'll talk to you. I pinky promise. Until then, take this time to find yourself, to find your niche. And if we're meant to be, then we'll be together again.

I know you say without me you're only half and I know how it feels too. You've been my flying partner for almost four years. You've seen me at my worst and still loved me with all your heart. You've stood by me through my anger, pain and I am grateful but now I need to see if I can do it on my own. Self reliance.

Please take care of yourself. Don't stress out over me. Don't lose sleep or eat less.

I love you. Always.