[Insatiable Verse - Trapped]
[ooc note to tbg folk: Please ignore, this is a separate verse! In case you're wondering, this is the verse in which Uhura and Kirk have lots of sex and pretend that's all it is. Until things get awkward
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But then the lift doors open, and he jerks his hand away, the moment gone as they become Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhura once more. Before the doors have opened completely, his back has straightened and shoulders squared, each fiber of him carrying the weight of command and exuding authority.
"Thank you, Mr. Scott, I was beginning to wonder if I should have brought a picnic basket," he nods curtly at his Chief Engineer and leads her out of the lift with a hand on the small of her back. It's the power of illusion, he knows. Maybe they both look flushed and tousled, but if they can keep up appearances until they reach his quarters, and give the impression nothing untoward has happened, it will radically lessen the amount of gossip and speculation their state might spark.
"Just keep walking," he mutters to her under his breath as he removes the hand from her back, meeting the eyes of every crewman they pass with a no-nonsense look in his eyes.
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The turbolift slows as it approaches the deck, and she lets her hand drop and takes a deep breath, face transforming from tender Nyota to professional Uhura. Her stance straightens, and she takes a half step backwards so that they aren't standing quite so close together. It almost hurts to see him return to being Captain Kirk, even though she has a lot of admiration for their leader. She can't help giving him a quick grin as she turns to face the opening doors.
Scotty looks apologetic and a little curious, and she gives him a small nod as they walk off. She's never been embarrassed of her sexual partners, but neither of them needs that sort of gossip. It feels unprofessional, and she doesn't want it to look like she's sleeping her way up the chain of command. There's nothing she can do about the flush on her cheeks or her messy hair, but she walks beside him with long, confident strides, bearing and expression every inch the professional bridge officer. He tells her to just keep walking, and she does so with a curt nod, face serious enough that they might be on official ship's business.
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And then he's on her in two long strides, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her through his laughter. He spins her around in the air, and when he puts her down, there's only a moment of seriousness and he whispers in Andorian against her temple. "I don't want to talk now. And I've already forgotten what I promised to forget. Let's be Jim and Nyota, just for tonight, eh?"
He doesn't wait for her answer, just lets go of her and strips off his gold shirt in a symbolic gesture as he moves to his desk. "And now, I have some hacking to do." Cracking his knuckles gleefully, he switches on his console and gives her a wink over the monitor. "This shouldn't take long, but make yourself comfortable. There are drinks in the cabinet if you want, and I think I have some ration bars or something in the top drawer of my dresser if you're hungry."
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A moment later he has his arms around her and is kissing her and still laughing and it makes her heart feel light. She's a little surprised when he actually spins her around, as if she were a little girl, and somehow it makes her laugh harder. He promises he's already forgotten her fears, and she looks at him gratefully. "Thank you, hazina," she replies, not caring that she's mixing Swahili and Andorian; she likes calling him hazina. "Nyota would like that very much. She says that Jim promised her a massage." It's miraculous that they can just let go of her fears, that they can be happy and smiling, but she has no desire to question it.
He strips off the mark of his command and walks over to the console, no doubt to hack the security feed. "No one's actually watches those feeds while they're taping, are they?" she wondered as she walked over to the cabinet. She's not hungry, but she is thirsty. As she reaches for a drink, she pulls the clip out of her hair, letting it tumble loose around her shoulders again.
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"Uh, no... Not usually." He permanently deletes everything but the last twenty minutes of the feed. Those, he copies over to his own personal datacard, under the tightest electronic security he can put on it. He's not quite sure why he does it, but there's a need to have just one small memento of that moment between them. "But I'll check to see if anyone was while I'm in here." A few more commands, and he makes sure to check the duty rosters for that part of security. His hands stop for a moment, and okay, he's going to need to have a long, unpleasant chat with Ensign Carstairs.
He clears his throat and finishes his work before getting up and slowly sauntering over to her. His hand closes over hers, and he lifts her glass to take a sip of her drink, while his other hand slides over her waist to pull her against him. They fit together so well like this, the slope of her neck the perfect height for him to dip his head and kiss, her ass aligning perfectly with his groin, and he can't resist moving his hips in a slow rhythm against hers. "Hazina," he repeats, hoping it's a term of endearment, then elaborates with her name. "Nyota..."
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She nods when he says he'll check, not sure what to make of the fact that he doesn't say anything about whether or not there was anyone there. Normally she would worry about it, question him to make sure they haven't been found out, but somehow that doesn't feel right at the moment. There's nothing they can do to change it, and she just wants to focus on being with him right now. Even though the memories of him inside her are bright and vivid in her mind, she's already forgetting the turbolift. It's a huge relief that she doesn't have to be alone right now.
He finishes altering the feed and she gives him a little smirk over her shoulder as he walks over to her and takes her hand to bring the glass to his lips. The feel of his hand over hers is perfect, and when he pulls her against him she leans back into the touch, tilting her head slightly to give him better access to her neck. His slow movement against her has her sighing softly, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. "Jim, hazina yangu," she whispers back, the possessive particle slipping out unconsciously. Her hand finds his on her waist, fingers sliding into the spaces between his. The other sets down the class and reaches for his chin, tipping his head up so she can find his lips with hers. "Bed," she whispers.
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Once her uniform drops to the floor, he walks them to the bed, easing her down on it and crouches in front of her to remove her boots with almost reverent care. He kisses her instep, then her ankle and gently massages first one foot, then the other. "It's not often I let loose the way I did in the lift," he states quietly as his hands work their way up her right calf. It's not an apology, a part of him even likes that he's marked her as his, but it's a little too close to something that scares him a little. "I mean, I'm all for being ridden hard and put away wet, but..." he shrugs and kisses the inside of her knee. "It's a little too intense when I let go like that."
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She lets him walk them to the bed and slowly sinks down onto it, her eyes on him as he removes her boots. The sight of it floods her with warmth. He's always touched her with near reverence, but now there's so much gentleness, so much care. The part of her that insists she can take care of herself rebels quietly, but she silences it, if only for today. As he kisses and massages his way up her legs, she makes small noises of contentment. He brings up the intensity of the lift, and her eyes stray to the bruises on her hips. She certainly doesn't mind the reminder of the way he let go of his control. "I liked seeing you like that," she says quietly. "I liked feeling you like that." Her hand reaches out to cup his face. "Your intensity doesn't scare me, Jim. It excites me." She tilts her head slightly and regards him carefully for a moment. "I don't think either of us would like it to be like that every time we do this, but I'm glad you showed me your fire."
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Moving back down, he starts giving her other leg the same treatment, again falling silent. He's given her so much of himself today, and he's not sure he won't break if he keeps it up. So he lets himself get lost in the movement of his hands and lips over her skin, lets himself focus on easing the tension out of her body. And makes sure some parts of him are still safely locked away inside him. When he gets to her hips, he kisses each bruise better and continues up her stomach to her lips. He hovers there for a moment, then lies down beside her and pulls her into his arms. "I want to ask you something, but I'm not sure you'll want to answer," he says quietly into her hair. "You said you've wanted me since Iowa. If that's true, then... What about Spock? Did you want me even when you were with him?"
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He falls silent, and she lets her eyes drift closes as he works over her legs and hips. With a sigh she falls slowly back against the bed, letting herself get lost in his gentle touches. A smile twitches at the corner of her mouth when he kisses the bruises he left on her skin. Finally he reaches her lips, and she gives him a slow, gentle kiss and lets him pull her into his arms. One hand gently strokes his chest, and she frowns slightly when she realizes he's still wearing so much. Her hand slides down his side and finds the hem of his shirt, which she tugs gently in protest. Her mind is focused on the way their bodies touch and meld together when he says he wants to ask her something. Her eyes open all the way as she listens to his question. It doesn't really surprise her or embarrass her, and she takes a moment to consider her answer. "I did," she replies. "Though I tried not to." She pulls away from him a little, trying to catch his eye. "But that shouldn't imply that I didn't care deeply for Spock. I did. I still do, though in a different way."
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He tugs to covers up over them and pulls her into his arms again, settling her to lie half on top of him so his fingers can alternate between toying with her hair and dancing down her spine, gently massaging her muscles as they go. "I'm not resentful about it or anything, I just don't really get it. I mean, I know I was a bit of an ass sometimes at the Academy, but you never expected me to be anything else. You never allowed me to be something else, and that was okay. It made sense back when I was sure you'd rather sleep with a Klingon than go near my bed, but now... It doesn't make sense anymore."
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He doesn't seem to know what to make of her admission, and she can't exactly blame him. She thinks carefully about her answer, not wanting to say too much. The fact that he doesn't do commitment, and that she usually does nothing but, is a big factor that she definitely doesn't want to bring up, not given his phobia. She wonders idly why it scares him so much to commit to romantic relationships, when commitment in general doesn't seem to be a problem. He's committed to his duties as Captain of the Enterprise, and he's committed to her with his promise to aid her with her fears no matter what.
Putting these thoughts aside, she answers as honestly as she can. "Lots of reasons. I didn't want to want you, because I did think you were a bit of an ass. You certainly gave me reason to think so, but… I suppose I misjudged you." She doesn't like admitting that she's wrong, but right now she's willing to own up to it. Forming quick judgments about people is definitely one of her faults. "Then, of course, there was Spock. And... you've changed, Jim. I refuse to believe you're the same man I met in a bar in Riverside, and my want for you now is different than my want for you then. I decided a while ago that if the opportunity arose I would act on this, but it wasn't until shore leave that the conditions all felt right." She smiles against his skin, a little surprised that she's admitted all this.
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"In a way, I'm still the same person I was back then but in a lot of ways I'm not. I'm not sure the Jim back then wouldn't just have written Nyota off as another conquest. I'd like to think he wouldn't have, and I know he'd have shown her a damn good time, but... Maybe things are better this way. When the conditions feel right."
He smiles down at her, a soft, almost boyish smile, and brushes the hair away from her face. "But I'm glad I'm persistent and kept propositioning you."
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She nuzzles his cheek a little as his hand slides down her back, both affectionate gestures reaffirming the connection they've managed to find. If we stop doing this, she thinks absently, I hope we won't lose this connection completely.
He brushes hair away from her face, and she returns his smile with her own warm, contented one. "As am I. It would've been troublesome if I'd had to proposition you out of the blue," she teases lightly. "Though I had started to wonder if you were actually serious. I half-suspected that if I ever really flirted back you'd back off."
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"To be honest, I was probably only serious less than half of the time. But I like getting you all riled up. I like seeing the spark in your eyes and knowing I put it there. Though this is admittedly a lot nicer way of putting it there, and a lot less damaging to my ego."
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