[Insatiable Verse - Trapped]

[nyota_uhura24]

[ooc note to tbg folk: Please ignore, this is a separate verse! In case you're wondering, this is the verse in which Uhura and Kirk have lots of sex and pretend that's all it is. Until things get awkward

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[owns_the_chair]

The only thing that's awkward about being on the bridge with Uhura is how not awkward it is. It's like none of it ever happened. Like he never called out her name and her his. Like they've never been tangled up in each other to the point where he didn't know where he ended and she began. Like he doesn't still feel the ghost of her touch on his skin, doesn't hear the echo of her pleasured cries when everything is silent on the bridge

[nyota_uhura24]

“Captain,” she replies, the word infused with a slight edge of sarcasm, as always. They never use names now, and she's grateful not to have any more reminders of the way he worshiped her name, of the way she was obsessed with his. Nothing needs to change between them. It doesn't matter that when she closes her eyes she sees his face, doesn't matter that talking to Sadiki in Swahili reminds her of the way he tentatively and then confidently moaned the words to her: tafadhali, zaidi, naam. Kamili... Even though she's never as open with Sadiki as Chiedza, the oldest of her younger sisters always knows when something's wrong. Why are your eyes so sad? Sadiki asks, but Nyota shakes her head. She just wants to forget, so she avoids talking to Christine or Liz, avoids conversations where she'll have to lie about being all right

[owns_the_chair]

She does exactly what he expects her to this time, at least. With the same cool professionalism she always displays, she examines the controls while he barks orders at the computer. None of them move them as much as one single inch towards either deck. He's not the biggest fan of cramped spaces, but he's long since learned to deal with them. The trick is to just not think about where you are. It's not the drop that bothers him. It's being trapped. At least the light is still on, he thinks morosely and gets out his comm.

And okay, he's going to owe Scotty a drink or two for snapping at him, but he does not need to be stuck in a lift with Uhura right now. Not when she's close enough to make his fingers twitch with the urge to push her up against the nearest wall and bury himself inside her until all he knows is her voice and her scent. He puts both that image and the thought of just how small these lifts are out of his head and focuses on Scotty's voice. He soon wishes he hadn't

[nyota_uhura24]

She focuses herself completely on the controls, trying to forget where she is and who she's with, but it's obvious pretty quickly that there's simply no power to move the lift. Jim seems as aggravated as she feels - though not nearly as scared - and barks orders into his communicator. The fact that they can reach Scotty reassures her immensely, but what he tells them makes her blood run cold. Two hours. Two. Whole. Hours. She knows she should be relieved that they know what the problem is and that it can be fixed, but all she can think about is what feels like an eternity of time in this tiny, cramped space. She knows the turbolift's dimensions by heart, and the numbers swim before her eyes as she tries to remind herself that there's plenty of space. The walls aren't going to close in around her. Her eyes dart around, checking to make sure the room isn't shrinking, but she can't tell anymore. Her analytical mind is fast fading as panic takes over

[owns_the_chair]

Her sharp retort has him blinking in surprise. It's not like her to lose her cool like this, and while they do have a history of snarky banter, this? Wasn't it. It hurts more than he thinks it has a right to. It's not that he isn't used to being cut down to size by her, it's more the way she does it. There's nothing teasing about it, and he can't see it as anything but the cruel remark it was. Which he'd have been fine with if it hadn't come from her. Someone he likes and trusts.

But then, she apologizes and that's more confusing than anything. Because, like him, she's not the type to apologize if there isn't an expressed need for it. Huh. Interesting. She must really be pissed at him. For what, he has no idea, but he knows better than to take her anger lightly. Or to want to be the subject of it in the first place, but that damage has obviously been done already. Sure, it'd been awkward when she left his quarters, but they'd both been cool with it at the time. There's something he's missing here, and he hates not being able to put

[nyota_uhura24]

She doesn't want to be cruel to him, and she hates that the words come out so harshly, but she's rapidly losing her grip on the here and now. The turbolift walls seem to waver, and she sees the plain white walls of the room from all those years ago. Even if she shouldn't be yelling at him right now, even if it won't make sense, she can't possibly explain. She wants to banter back, to reclaim the teasing relationship they once had and use it to distract her from her thoughts, but her mind won't work that way right now.

And then he brings her out of her thoughts again, and she blinks at him in confusion. But we're here, and we're going to be here for a while. Those words send terror racing through her again, and it takes her a moment to realize that he's talking about them, and that he has no idea why she's snapping at him. She almost laughs, because just for a moment she'd actually forgotten that anything strange was going on between them. “You're the one who refuses to discuss anything whatsoever,” she says, and this time it

[owns_the_chair]

Okay, so he kinda walked right into that one. And she may have a point about him refusing to discuss anything about what's happened between them. But that isn't the point! Not even if that is the point, is it the point. Not if he doesn't acknowledge that it's the point. Especially since she's not exactly being forward about her thoughts either. And he's glad she isn't, really, because it would be awkward to have that talk. They both knew what they were doing, they're both mature adults, and... Oh, God, he's starting to sound like a sex-ed teacher. So what if he'd kinda like to know if it had as profound impact on her as it did on him? It's. not. happening.

He's about to reply when she looks down at her hands, and he immediately frowns in concern. The Hell?! He's never known her to have anything other than completely steady hands, even in the worst possible situations. It's odd to see them shake now, and his concern takes a sharp left turn into worry when she sinks to the floor. Something is very not right here, and he maybe walking

[nyota_uhura24]

She genuinely wants to know what he thinks about what happened between them, but she can't think straight enough to even try to talk about it, even if for once he can't run away. All she can think about is the fact that she's trapped, and that the room is so very small. There's no way out, and it's hard to breathe. She irrationally wonders if there's only a limited supply of air. If the walls close in on them there will be even less, but it won't matter because they'll be crushed. The room is shrinking, and she's all alone, and no one's ever going to find her. She's going to die here. She's always been here, and all the life she thought she'd lived was just something she dreamed up to pass the time. Nothing is real but this room, and this terror.And then someone is steadying her hands, and she looks up in shock at the man kneeling in front of her. Again he brings her mind back to the fact that she's here on the Enterprise, even if she's stuck in a turbolift. Her eyes are wide with panic, but they lock with his, trying to

[owns_the_chair]

Briefly, before she lifts her eyes to meet his, he thinks he's in for the scolding of a lifetime. Wonders just what he did to make her tremble with rage. But then, her eyes lock on his, and if she isn't physically clinging to him, her eyes are doing their best to. He recognizes the look instantly, knows it better than anyone ever should, and to see it on her face... It forces every ounce of air out of his lungs and leaves a rancid taste in his mouth, and the memory of a putrid stench in his nose. Fear. Panic. Abject terror. She thinks she's going to die here. Now.To see those emotions on her face makes him want to find the cause of them and tear it apart until there's not even atoms left. But maybe there isn't a cause and it's just a thing for her. Like Bones and his aviophobia. If that's true it's a credit to her strength that it's taken her almost fifteen minutes to get to this point, if his guess it correct, though

[nyota_uhura24]

She's tries to keep pushing air in an out of her lungs, but it's hard to breathe through her panic. The world around her flickers in and out of focus - sometimes she's here, and sometimes she's back in that room. It all threatens to blend together into nothing but suffocation, and the only thing she can hold onto is those unbelievably blue eyes. She can't quite believe that he's there, but she clings to the hope that she's not alone, because if she's alone, then she's always been alone. Always been here. Always been trapped

[owns_the_chair]

Her small nod of understanding is a relief, and he keeps her nestled close against him. It's painful for him to see her weave in and out of reality and wherever this phobia originates from. With the hand not covering hers on his chest, he rubs soothing circles on her back, and keeps his eyes on hers.

"It's gonna be just fine, Nyota," he says calmingly, hoping that the use of her first name will have a positive effect. It seems to be linked to a lot of good memories for her, and he kinda understands her reluctance to hear it from him now. "Don't go where I can't follow okay? Just stay right here with me. Where ever it is, it's not here, not where you are right now."

He's not sure what more to do, other than just keep holding her and talking to her, and hope it has an effect eventually.

"You have nightmares about it, don't you?" It's a safe assumption, even if he doesn't know what it is. "What you need to do, what I always do, is look for the details. It's the little things that make up reality. Small imperfections, like that

[nyota_uhura24]

It's gonna be just fine, Nyota. Realization flashes through her eyes at the use of her first name. She's still not really used to hearing it away from home, and the only people she wants using it, the only people she ever gives permission to use it, are those people she considers family, whether by blood or otherwise. She takes a deep, albeit shaky breath when she hears it from him. Jim, she thinks but does not say

[owns_the_chair]

He relaxes a bit when he feels her start to breathe again. For a moment there, he'd been worried he'd have to talk her out of clawing the walls in a panicked frenzy, injuring herself in the process. And he'd have to physically restrain her, and that's not something he ever wants to have to do. And not only because he has a pretty good idea of the kind of damage she's capable of inflicting on someone trying to hold her down

[nyota_uhura24]

She keeps all her attention focused on him so that she can't see the tiny space or the memories hovering beyond it. He caresses her cheek and squeezes her hand, and the touches help remind her that they're on the Enterprise, and that he's here. She's still trembling slightly, but she isn't shaking anywhere near as much as before. He welcomes her back from her panic and her memories, but she's barely hanging on and she doesn't know if it will last. For the moment, however, she can breathe

[owns_the_chair]

Whatever he just did seems to have worked, at least for the moment, because she's tentatively smiling and joking back again. Good. He'll just keep doing this then, keep himself wrapped around her, keep touching her and keep talking to her.

"Well, we can but the beaming would actually be more dangerous than being stuck in here. We might get stuck in a Jeffrie's tube and I've heard bad things about that from reliable sources. Mainly Scotty, who might just plain refuse to do it. Hence the whisky I'd owe him to persuade him

[nyota_uhura24]

She's slowly relaxing in his arms, but his next words make her tense ever so slightly. She wants to protest, but she knows he's right. It would be dangerous to beam out, and they can't bend rules like that just because she's irrationally afraid.

The kiss to her forehead makes her feel like a small child. Just for the moment this image doesn't bother her too terribly much, but later it will. Before she can pursue this line of thought, however, he's reassuring her that he'll forget all about this. She relaxes further, giving him a small but openly grateful smile. He isn't going to hold her fears against her... Which she really should have known all along. She should have believed in him enough to know that he wasn't going to stop caring about her just because she revealed her weaknesses. “Thank you,” she says, voice still soft.

She has mixed feelings towards the word claustrophobic. On one level it makes her feel that there's something truly wrong with her, and on another it's a relief that this is something real, not just