Headspace...
This month has been an ordeal of topsy-turvy ups and downs, not just because we've got kids now but also because I've been going through a slew of medical tests. In a routine follow up with my doctor last month, it was determined that I needed to see a few specialists for some pain that I'd been having in my lower right abdomen.
On the 30th of January, immediately following the follow up, I got an appointment that day to have an ultrasound. They took some preliminary pictures and sent me on my way. Two days later I received news that they found a cyst behind my uterus. Concerned it could be cancer, she decided to follow up with an MRI and a gynecologist.
The appointment to get the MRI took about a week and a half to get because they had to clear my insurance first. Okay. Fine. To date, three weeks later, I'm still waiting on the appointment for the gynecologist. It turns out the place they sent the information to never received it, so hopefully that will be scheduled today.
I got the MRI last week. I don't consider myself claustrophobic by any means, but after being stuffed in a small tube with barely any room and stuck with my hands above my head for about an hour, I'm willing to revisit that notion. Especially as I was sick with a cough and you weren't allowed to cough; I spent most of the time trying not to panic about what to do if I had to cough.
The results came back last week and preliminary prognosis is endometriosis; not cancer. But, my doctor still wants me to go to the gynecologist to make certain everything is good, because really they won't know anything unless they do a biopsy. So, right now - the best case scenario is endometriosis and a big chance of infertility and the worst case scenario is cancer.
That's where my head has been this month. This is topped by the fact that I've been trying to keep my shit together for the three kids we now (at least presently) have in our life, since I didn't want to needlessly worry them if I didn't have to. I'd like to think that I kept my cool pretty well, but the truth is things have been pretty dicey since the first prognosis and the immediacy of the testing that initially occurred.
This has been a particularly trying time for me, and so I have not been at my best - for myself or anyone else around me. I try not to let things affect me so much, but because of all the heightened emotions involved in the waiting and not knowing anything, it's been difficult. It's definitely affected how I deal with the kids.
On the 30th of January, immediately following the follow up, I got an appointment that day to have an ultrasound. They took some preliminary pictures and sent me on my way. Two days later I received news that they found a cyst behind my uterus. Concerned it could be cancer, she decided to follow up with an MRI and a gynecologist.
The appointment to get the MRI took about a week and a half to get because they had to clear my insurance first. Okay. Fine. To date, three weeks later, I'm still waiting on the appointment for the gynecologist. It turns out the place they sent the information to never received it, so hopefully that will be scheduled today.
I got the MRI last week. I don't consider myself claustrophobic by any means, but after being stuffed in a small tube with barely any room and stuck with my hands above my head for about an hour, I'm willing to revisit that notion. Especially as I was sick with a cough and you weren't allowed to cough; I spent most of the time trying not to panic about what to do if I had to cough.
The results came back last week and preliminary prognosis is endometriosis; not cancer. But, my doctor still wants me to go to the gynecologist to make certain everything is good, because really they won't know anything unless they do a biopsy. So, right now - the best case scenario is endometriosis and a big chance of infertility and the worst case scenario is cancer.
That's where my head has been this month. This is topped by the fact that I've been trying to keep my shit together for the three kids we now (at least presently) have in our life, since I didn't want to needlessly worry them if I didn't have to. I'd like to think that I kept my cool pretty well, but the truth is things have been pretty dicey since the first prognosis and the immediacy of the testing that initially occurred.
This has been a particularly trying time for me, and so I have not been at my best - for myself or anyone else around me. I try not to let things affect me so much, but because of all the heightened emotions involved in the waiting and not knowing anything, it's been difficult. It's definitely affected how I deal with the kids.