misery
Life the simple splash with in itself. When u think everything is going alright it all starts to fall apart. Pain racks my brain i spent a few weeks on a drug and drink binge trying to serpress my pain.Nothing works the Medacation i once took the drugs and slowly the cutting is starting to give away. I just wish some one would see me for me and not what every one else says.poin i guess i would be wishing for the imposible once again.Its a shame on how life treats ppl. Its a shame one what i can do. Raking in the money lil by little u start to feel as if ur getting some where and u feel as if ur becoming some one. As u think ppl are finaly accepting u. Then it happens all again. You lose all your friends. Some one creats a lie. And with that you want to cry the pain is so great buring in side as if the life u live is nothing but a lie. Yet the cruel fate is that no matter what u do its all relived.im being tourchered at every moment.My friends slowly die. And i feel it inside.A few weeks ago maybe a month now day just shifts to the next.My friends to some pills and they had sezures.(stupid fucks!!!!) as if it could not be worse i get blamed for it then the girl i had fallen in love with had just left and walked away. I dont know why i dont remember that its all blur.The transluseant drugs where racking my mind. Then came the pain once again. I tried top end it a few times but with no avail i awoke the next morning the slash of the rist the taken of the pills. If this hell why cant i died. I have jumped off buildings and i have jabed myself with knives even hung from a rope and i still have not died. I wish this pain would go away and i wish i wpild never see the light of day. Then there it came oh what a part jess man's party i was invited to the part to be a bouncer. I got trashed( you know its a good party when all 4 bouncers are trashed lol) I dont remember much of what happened well whats there to rememeber i passed out O.Ding on alchole then my friend sherlin draged me into her car and gave me a ride home the next night i through a new years eve party busted by 5.0. Then the secound thing happened acusations once again that i had serpousdl done at the part tell me how can one do anything if hes out on the kitchen table like a light.I hate life no love no hope inside what can i do now sept die im in hideing and filled with pain inside. I had to leave all mycloths behind and hide wearing my brothers fleeing fromt he town i reside i beg to the gods now to my plea. Plz if ur there fix the reality