I've tried writing again...
So I woke up and had this going through my head. No idea why, as it had nothing to do with the last dream I remember. But I thought I'd try writing it out...
I was walking into a library to find some books for my latest paper, and knew that I would need to look in the nooks and crannies to find the old works of Lactantius. There, on the fourth floor, sitting in a sunny little corner, I found God, reading. Stunned, I just stood there for a moment. God. Really. I didn’t really believe in God anymore, having studied the history of the Church for so long and seeing what mankind had done in “his name” and to religion in general. But there he was, reading a novel. I went and sat down across from him.
“Hello.” I said nervously. I mean, it’s GOD.
He smiled and put the book down, his finger marking the page. “Hello NicCole. Have you found your book?”
I shook my head, having honestly forgotten about the book. “Not yet.”
He nodded and picked his book back up. He wasn’t ignoring me, but since I was just sitting and staring at him anyway, I guess he decided to read while I figured out what the hell to say to GOD. I felt the warmth of the sun and just sat there for a few minutes, reassessing everything I’d decided over the last few years. It’s really hard to be cynical about religion when you’re sitting across from an actual deity.
“Um… okay, there’s about a million things to ask, but I’m going to go with… why are you ignoring us?”
He lies his book back on the table, no longer marking his page. “Why do you think I ignore you?” he asks patiently.
“Well, it’s not exactly a pleasant world out there. Crime is astronomical, the environment is dying, and taking us with it, murder is nearly common these days, corruption and greed, diseases killing millions of people…” my voice raises as I name the atrocities that are destroying the earth, something he is supposed to be protecting, according to how I was raised.
God sighs, nodding. “Let me explain something to you NicCole. I made this planet millions of years ago. Everything was in perfect balance. Nature responded to nature, events were reactions to other events. Even man has been living peacefully within the balance for hundreds of thousands of years. Then about ten thousand years ago, man decided they knew what was best; they knew how to live outside of the plan, and to get what they wanted.”
He paused, looking at me. I already knew this and nodded. I wanted more of an answer. He went on.
“Man began working outside of the natural order of the way I had balanced the earth. Because of this, they began growing. Within a short amount of time, they outnumbered what the earth could supply. What should have happened was the earth should have killed off what was the weakest of man. But instead, man found a way to fight back; to store food to supply to those starving, to cure diseases that should have killed the abundant population. The world became overpopulated by a species that should have remained small.”
His voice carried an edge now, showing signs of both disappointment and anger. The anger grew, the disappointment becoming overshadowed.
“Man has always found ways of acknowledging me, NicCole. I was a god of water and rain, or a god of the sun, a god of fertile soil. But when man’s arrogance grew with his numbers, I became a god to demand things from. I became a god who chose sides, who demanded the deaths of people who did not agree with man’s ideas. This was no longer me. I continued to live on and support those who truly needed my help, who thanked my presence but demanded nothing. But now even they are few and far between, thanks to the arrogance of man and the idea of conversion to his ideas.”
I said nothing, merely listening to what I could feel was true. God stood up and began pacing the floor near our table. Back and forth he walked as he spoke, his voice calming, becoming thoughtful.
“Man has grown out of control. They feel they now control the earth, yet they cry out in anger when the earth responds to their actions. They feel they can harness the power of the elements, but are refuse to accept that they will be repercussions to them. They have grown arrogant.” He whispers. “They need…. A predator.” Without looking back, God walks out of the room.
So yeah, not sure what this is all about but...
I was walking into a library to find some books for my latest paper, and knew that I would need to look in the nooks and crannies to find the old works of Lactantius. There, on the fourth floor, sitting in a sunny little corner, I found God, reading. Stunned, I just stood there for a moment. God. Really. I didn’t really believe in God anymore, having studied the history of the Church for so long and seeing what mankind had done in “his name” and to religion in general. But there he was, reading a novel. I went and sat down across from him.
“Hello.” I said nervously. I mean, it’s GOD.
He smiled and put the book down, his finger marking the page. “Hello NicCole. Have you found your book?”
I shook my head, having honestly forgotten about the book. “Not yet.”
He nodded and picked his book back up. He wasn’t ignoring me, but since I was just sitting and staring at him anyway, I guess he decided to read while I figured out what the hell to say to GOD. I felt the warmth of the sun and just sat there for a few minutes, reassessing everything I’d decided over the last few years. It’s really hard to be cynical about religion when you’re sitting across from an actual deity.
“Um… okay, there’s about a million things to ask, but I’m going to go with… why are you ignoring us?”
He lies his book back on the table, no longer marking his page. “Why do you think I ignore you?” he asks patiently.
“Well, it’s not exactly a pleasant world out there. Crime is astronomical, the environment is dying, and taking us with it, murder is nearly common these days, corruption and greed, diseases killing millions of people…” my voice raises as I name the atrocities that are destroying the earth, something he is supposed to be protecting, according to how I was raised.
God sighs, nodding. “Let me explain something to you NicCole. I made this planet millions of years ago. Everything was in perfect balance. Nature responded to nature, events were reactions to other events. Even man has been living peacefully within the balance for hundreds of thousands of years. Then about ten thousand years ago, man decided they knew what was best; they knew how to live outside of the plan, and to get what they wanted.”
He paused, looking at me. I already knew this and nodded. I wanted more of an answer. He went on.
“Man began working outside of the natural order of the way I had balanced the earth. Because of this, they began growing. Within a short amount of time, they outnumbered what the earth could supply. What should have happened was the earth should have killed off what was the weakest of man. But instead, man found a way to fight back; to store food to supply to those starving, to cure diseases that should have killed the abundant population. The world became overpopulated by a species that should have remained small.”
His voice carried an edge now, showing signs of both disappointment and anger. The anger grew, the disappointment becoming overshadowed.
“Man has always found ways of acknowledging me, NicCole. I was a god of water and rain, or a god of the sun, a god of fertile soil. But when man’s arrogance grew with his numbers, I became a god to demand things from. I became a god who chose sides, who demanded the deaths of people who did not agree with man’s ideas. This was no longer me. I continued to live on and support those who truly needed my help, who thanked my presence but demanded nothing. But now even they are few and far between, thanks to the arrogance of man and the idea of conversion to his ideas.”
I said nothing, merely listening to what I could feel was true. God stood up and began pacing the floor near our table. Back and forth he walked as he spoke, his voice calming, becoming thoughtful.
“Man has grown out of control. They feel they now control the earth, yet they cry out in anger when the earth responds to their actions. They feel they can harness the power of the elements, but are refuse to accept that they will be repercussions to them. They have grown arrogant.” He whispers. “They need…. A predator.” Without looking back, God walks out of the room.
So yeah, not sure what this is all about but...