In which Rebecca is enraged
California, you can go fuck yourself. And so can you, Florida, Arizona, and especially Arkansas.
Yes, I'm absolutely thrilled about today. I have hope that even if he isn't perfect on the issue, a President Obama will make important strides for gay rights-- not to mention other issues which are even more important. I know that the fact that California was much, much closer than it was the last time around means that we're making important progress. I hope that someday, with a more progressive bench, this can go to the Supreme Court and we can have our own Loving vs. Virginia. I promise I'm jubilant over Obama's victory.
But I'm still furious.
This is an issue in which I have quite simply had it up to HERE with all the bullshit false equivalency perpetrated in the name of being "Fair and Balanced." Please. This is not one of those legitimately complex issues--and there are plenty--in which the evidence can support many sides.
Your religion tells you homosexuality is wrong? Fine. That's your perogative. I'm not requiring your church to change its doctrine. Contrary to the filth spread in California on this, I don't want to legally punish your church-- after all, a private institution-- for not hewing to my beliefs. But, much as I have no right to tell your church what to do on its own grounds, with its own time and money, you have absolutely no right to legally impose your religiosity on others. The law has a right to treat all citizens equally, in light of the facts about any given situation.
And what are the facts? EVERY reasonable study, controlling for other socioeconomic variables, shows that kids do just as well or even better with gay parents. In parts of the country and the world where gay marriage is legal-- guess what? The sky hasn't fallen. In fact, Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country.
In the years since I've come out, and especially in the year and a half since I've been in a relationship, I've often had a little voice in the back of my head-- the part of me that actually absorbed the right-wing smears while the rest of me scoffed-- whispering, "What if the gay 'lifestyle' really is as bad as all that? You're just a naive young woman, being lured in and brainwashed! What if, ten years down the road, you look back and find that you're stuck in it?" (Never mind what "it" might be.) Then I look around and I realize-- no, just another 20-something, going about her day-to-day activities, spending too much time online and worrying about whatever it is that 20-somethings worry about. No unprotected, anonymous sex. No vampirism. No pedophilia. No sheep-fucking. No beating up fit, defenseless young men. (Hell's Grannies, anyone?) Not scary at all. Pretty boring, really.
And then I think that if I-- young, Jewish, liberal-bordering-on-socialist, and gay myself, for heaven's sakes-- still have that niggling little voice in the back of my head, well, how much stronger must that voice be for the majority of people out there? People who are generally pretty moderate, who can't believe it isn't yet 50 years since interracial marriage was illegal, who might even know an actual gay person or two-- might hear James Dobson say that gays are bad for kids and families, that marriage is in danger, or hear Sally Kern say that the "Homosexual Agenda" is a bigger threat to the USA than Islamic terrorism (we'll save the whole anti-Islam for another rant, shall we?), or Yes on 8 say that if gays marry YOUR CHURCH WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO THE STATE (oooh! Scary Communism!)-- and be frightened enough to vote for something like that.
In an early episode of the West Wing, CJ tells Charlie, "Everybody's stupid in an election year." Charlie responds, "No, everyone just gets treated stupid." Know what, guys? Lying and fearmongering are ways of treating people stupid. And generally, when you treat people stupid, they rise to your expectations, at least at first.
But then I'm also reminded of the quote that I've been carrying as a mantra today: "The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice." The guy who said that knew quite a lot about fear mongering. 50 years ago, institutionalized bigotry was alive and well. People of color effectively couldn't vote, there were Jim Crow laws in place-- and, as I said, interracial marriage was illegal. We were told that it would degrade the moral fabric of our society and hurt our children. Much of white America saw a black man as a scary predator who was coming to get your children, particularly your daughters. Sound familiar?
Racism isn't anywhere near gone. We saw plenty of it in this campaign alone: the "muslim terrorist" smear, the Jeremiah Wright bullshit, the faked Ashley Todd assult...it goes on. But today, after many years of being stupid and being treated stupid, we just elected a black guy as our next president. Martin Luther King, Jr. would, of course, be proud. I think he'd also tell us to be hopeful. It isn't very well known, but he also supported gay rights. There was a civil rights leader named Bayard Rustin who worked with Dr. King. When he was outed, he took a lot of flack, but Dr. King stood by him.
So in the short term, my invitation to California, Florida, Arizona, and Arkansas still stands. I'm still mad as hell, and I am not going to sit down and let the Family Research Council or the LDS church tell me that I'm dangerous. But I also know that by and large we had a good day today. We can't let ourselves be demoralized. We will get our rights, sooner rather than later. We can win this.
Yes, we can.
Yes, I'm absolutely thrilled about today. I have hope that even if he isn't perfect on the issue, a President Obama will make important strides for gay rights-- not to mention other issues which are even more important. I know that the fact that California was much, much closer than it was the last time around means that we're making important progress. I hope that someday, with a more progressive bench, this can go to the Supreme Court and we can have our own Loving vs. Virginia. I promise I'm jubilant over Obama's victory.
But I'm still furious.
This is an issue in which I have quite simply had it up to HERE with all the bullshit false equivalency perpetrated in the name of being "Fair and Balanced." Please. This is not one of those legitimately complex issues--and there are plenty--in which the evidence can support many sides.
Your religion tells you homosexuality is wrong? Fine. That's your perogative. I'm not requiring your church to change its doctrine. Contrary to the filth spread in California on this, I don't want to legally punish your church-- after all, a private institution-- for not hewing to my beliefs. But, much as I have no right to tell your church what to do on its own grounds, with its own time and money, you have absolutely no right to legally impose your religiosity on others. The law has a right to treat all citizens equally, in light of the facts about any given situation.
And what are the facts? EVERY reasonable study, controlling for other socioeconomic variables, shows that kids do just as well or even better with gay parents. In parts of the country and the world where gay marriage is legal-- guess what? The sky hasn't fallen. In fact, Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country.
In the years since I've come out, and especially in the year and a half since I've been in a relationship, I've often had a little voice in the back of my head-- the part of me that actually absorbed the right-wing smears while the rest of me scoffed-- whispering, "What if the gay 'lifestyle' really is as bad as all that? You're just a naive young woman, being lured in and brainwashed! What if, ten years down the road, you look back and find that you're stuck in it?" (Never mind what "it" might be.) Then I look around and I realize-- no, just another 20-something, going about her day-to-day activities, spending too much time online and worrying about whatever it is that 20-somethings worry about. No unprotected, anonymous sex. No vampirism. No pedophilia. No sheep-fucking. No beating up fit, defenseless young men. (Hell's Grannies, anyone?) Not scary at all. Pretty boring, really.
And then I think that if I-- young, Jewish, liberal-bordering-on-socialist, and gay myself, for heaven's sakes-- still have that niggling little voice in the back of my head, well, how much stronger must that voice be for the majority of people out there? People who are generally pretty moderate, who can't believe it isn't yet 50 years since interracial marriage was illegal, who might even know an actual gay person or two-- might hear James Dobson say that gays are bad for kids and families, that marriage is in danger, or hear Sally Kern say that the "Homosexual Agenda" is a bigger threat to the USA than Islamic terrorism (we'll save the whole anti-Islam for another rant, shall we?), or Yes on 8 say that if gays marry YOUR CHURCH WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO THE STATE (oooh! Scary Communism!)-- and be frightened enough to vote for something like that.
In an early episode of the West Wing, CJ tells Charlie, "Everybody's stupid in an election year." Charlie responds, "No, everyone just gets treated stupid." Know what, guys? Lying and fearmongering are ways of treating people stupid. And generally, when you treat people stupid, they rise to your expectations, at least at first.
But then I'm also reminded of the quote that I've been carrying as a mantra today: "The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice." The guy who said that knew quite a lot about fear mongering. 50 years ago, institutionalized bigotry was alive and well. People of color effectively couldn't vote, there were Jim Crow laws in place-- and, as I said, interracial marriage was illegal. We were told that it would degrade the moral fabric of our society and hurt our children. Much of white America saw a black man as a scary predator who was coming to get your children, particularly your daughters. Sound familiar?
Racism isn't anywhere near gone. We saw plenty of it in this campaign alone: the "muslim terrorist" smear, the Jeremiah Wright bullshit, the faked Ashley Todd assult...it goes on. But today, after many years of being stupid and being treated stupid, we just elected a black guy as our next president. Martin Luther King, Jr. would, of course, be proud. I think he'd also tell us to be hopeful. It isn't very well known, but he also supported gay rights. There was a civil rights leader named Bayard Rustin who worked with Dr. King. When he was outed, he took a lot of flack, but Dr. King stood by him.
So in the short term, my invitation to California, Florida, Arizona, and Arkansas still stands. I'm still mad as hell, and I am not going to sit down and let the Family Research Council or the LDS church tell me that I'm dangerous. But I also know that by and large we had a good day today. We can't let ourselves be demoralized. We will get our rights, sooner rather than later. We can win this.
Yes, we can.