id run away from this bitch and neva come back if i could...
i have been stressed to the last nerve lately..i feel very lonely and depressed lately, confused and all. like a lot of things have changed and i dont like the way they have changed...taking this RA job has taken such a toll on my sanity its unbelievable. Im really done trying to be everyones friend because ive learned that 80 percent of the people i thought were my friends, arnt. they are aquaintances if that. To be a friend it means i shouldnt have to be like an extra burden or a last minute invite to dinner. no im not going along with that shit ne more. if you really are my friend you would invite me to hang out with you, you would invite me to eat ahead of time, rather then when your walking out the door. Im done begging people to hang out with me, and if that means being by myself then so be it, honestly i'd rather drive 2 1/2 hours to be with people who really do care about me, then trying to be everyones friend here when they dont really think two shits about me. Sometimes the only way i feel i can get people to really understand how hard they are hurting me is by ignoring them...and then when i ignore people, they still get mad at me. so i never win. i guess this is a lot about my friends....because i used to try so hard to get everyone to love me and like me, that i lose sight of how to separate aquaintances with real friends. sometimes i feel like i just want to get away from college for a few months and then come back but it still wouldnt be the same, it would only be prolonging the same crap over and over. im sure theres more i could rant about but thats all i feel like typing right now...