I was mostly useless today
I didn't go to work. I should have. I'm going to regret it next Thursday when my check comes in, but it just seemed so much nicer to stay at home with my husband and chill. Maybe this is my brain's reaction to the knowledge that after this week, I'll be returning to work 32 hours a week. 8 hour days all over again. Ugh.
That is not a decision I was super excited about, but after running our budget on Monday, I just don't see any other option. That also means that I will not be returning to school full time in the fall. I've got mixed feelings about this decision. On the one hand, I think it's smart financially. I am also excited to have some more time to devote to practice and preparing for grad school (GRE studying, applications, making and sending recordings etc). On the other hand, I feel like I'm letting someone down. Who, I can't really pinpoint--myself? My professors? Neither makes much sense, since I'm doing what I have to do to keep us financially solvent, and am still aggressively pursuing my overarching goals. I have a hard time with male authority figures sometimes--I want to do what they want me to do. Its a bad habit, and i have to learn to move under my own power and my own conviction instead of waiting for permission from my teachers and mentors. Yes.
So I declined my financial aid package today, talked with Dan the Man about my new plan and got his take on what classes I should take, assuming that I'll only be able to come back part time. It'll all be Ok, it's just a bit scary right now.
In other news, my last compulsory shift at IFOR was tonight. I have offically dropped off the schedule, and won't work again unless I feel like picking up a shift. Which, incidentally, I'll be doing Monday night, since I didn't make diddly-shit tonight, and we need gas money for our upcoming trip to CoMo. *waves at CoMo folks happily*
I am also pushing through the second round of initial side effects from my meds after my brief experiment in a non-medicated me. I'm really sleepy all the time again (though, off the meds I was way more torpid and sluggish. This is more along the lines of Narcolepsy :-D), and the two margaritas I had last night before Dark Knight hit me like a ton of tequila-soaked bricks.
I must smell good or something after my shower, bc I've had to flick two beetly-bugs off of my bare shoulders since I started this entry. Ew.
Gonna sing a bit before bed. Night all!
That is not a decision I was super excited about, but after running our budget on Monday, I just don't see any other option. That also means that I will not be returning to school full time in the fall. I've got mixed feelings about this decision. On the one hand, I think it's smart financially. I am also excited to have some more time to devote to practice and preparing for grad school (GRE studying, applications, making and sending recordings etc). On the other hand, I feel like I'm letting someone down. Who, I can't really pinpoint--myself? My professors? Neither makes much sense, since I'm doing what I have to do to keep us financially solvent, and am still aggressively pursuing my overarching goals. I have a hard time with male authority figures sometimes--I want to do what they want me to do. Its a bad habit, and i have to learn to move under my own power and my own conviction instead of waiting for permission from my teachers and mentors. Yes.
So I declined my financial aid package today, talked with Dan the Man about my new plan and got his take on what classes I should take, assuming that I'll only be able to come back part time. It'll all be Ok, it's just a bit scary right now.
In other news, my last compulsory shift at IFOR was tonight. I have offically dropped off the schedule, and won't work again unless I feel like picking up a shift. Which, incidentally, I'll be doing Monday night, since I didn't make diddly-shit tonight, and we need gas money for our upcoming trip to CoMo. *waves at CoMo folks happily*
I am also pushing through the second round of initial side effects from my meds after my brief experiment in a non-medicated me. I'm really sleepy all the time again (though, off the meds I was way more torpid and sluggish. This is more along the lines of Narcolepsy :-D), and the two margaritas I had last night before Dark Knight hit me like a ton of tequila-soaked bricks.
I must smell good or something after my shower, bc I've had to flick two beetly-bugs off of my bare shoulders since I started this entry. Ew.
Gonna sing a bit before bed. Night all!