Read it/don't read it
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Started therapy that is designed to treat people with Borderline Personality Disorder.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make new year's resolutions. Firstly, I don't see what's so different about the first of January, and secondly, I don't like to fail at stuff so I don't bother.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
Stayed in England, as usual.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
I'd like to have a full-time job, though people around me don't think that's a good idea.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
None! I only remember dates in exceptional circumstances. I'd be crap at being asked to provide an alibi :-)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping stable, both in terms of my mental health (relatively speaking) and in terms of my exercise - I keep doing stuff that keeps me healthy.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Hm. I failed to help a family to the extent that I wanted to help them. However, it was an experience that taught me several thing about not being a superhero... mostly that I should not expect myself to be a superhero!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I injured my back while weight training, and it has recurred from time to time. I had a couple of very mild but deeply distressing things happen.
11. What was the best new thing you bought?
My slow cooker :-)
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Lots of peoples! Mine!
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
No-one's, not on a personal level.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, and for a month and a half of my infestation: laundry and extra clothes/bedding.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Nothing. If I get really really excited that can lead to hypomania and that is scary.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I doubt I'll remember 2010 particularly.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? Less sad.
b) Thinner or fatter? A bit less fat. I don't aspire to thinness! I aspire to being more muscly with a huggable level of fat.
c) Richer or poorer? The same.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Stressful socialising. The more I do stressful socialising (parties, pub meets etc.), the more easy I find it. I very quickly get out of practice. I'd have done more babysitting were it not for the infestation. More looking after the 'quality baby' next year I hope!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Hiding from the world, computer gaming, stuffing my face with comfort food, watching TV.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent christmas in a hotel which gave me some solitude but I was comforted by the miniscule amount of socialising I did with the hotel staff. I didn't have to worry about bumming people out with my despair; customer service people are paid to put up with other people's moods (unlike friends). I looked after some pet rats, walked a couple of miles a day on very slippery ice and read Agatha Christie's autobiography.
21. Missing question!
22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I fell in fondness. It is good. There is also fun painful and uncomfortable stuff.
23. How many one-night stands?
I didn't count the number of people I had sex with at sex clubs. It was just a handful I think. I've stopped doing that... for now at least!
24. What was your favourite TV programme?
It's a toss-up between Judge Judy (repeats) and the terrifically good drama Any Human Heart! I often disagree with Judge Judy's politics, but I absolutely love her attitude and stock lines.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I still hate the person I hated last year, but I'm working on it in therapy.
26. What was the best book you read?
I have mostly re-read books, and stuck to un-challenging crime fiction.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I have re-discovered Duran Duran. I love them!
28. What did you want and get?
Therapy! Maintained fitness if not improved fitness. Maintenance is very valuable.
29. What did you want and not get?
A family. I want this emotionally, but think it is a bad idea so I will not make plans that make it possible. Behold my sensibleness!
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
None. I'm sure I saw one or two on the telly I liked, and Made in Dagenham was ok.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I can't remember what I did on my birthday. I was 35; I keep forgetting how old I am.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being dominated more often.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Slobby sportswear. I spend a lot of time exercising, and unfortunately as a trans person it's awkward to shower afterwards. So I mostly wear either shorts or jogging bottoms.
34. What kept you sane?
Journalling (online and notepad/pen), phoning the Samaritans, drugs, time, many small coping tips I've picked up over the years.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Susan from Neighbours... though I don't want it myself. Total MILF!
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
None. Most of this year has been stirring up the politics of fear, and I have mostly been living in Nye's Lala Land of Loveliness. I don't want to be angry without being able to change things... most big political things I cannot change, and keeping my mental health in hand is something I need to prioritise.
37. Who did you miss?
Diva, *small child*, my daughter, most of my family alive and/or dead.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I've met a lot of new people, but I haven't made any strong connections with them this year.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year.
Seeking perfection is good for code, but very bad for most other things.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
No!