In a bit of a rut
I'm not really sure what I should do. I'm in a pattern of bingeing every evening when I am alone (I'm alone around 5 evenings out of 7), eating moderately the rest of the day. Before the holidays I was able to spend a week or two where I avoided bingeing through a desperate kind of willpower plus the online support of friends. I had decided to use food and alcohol as a way of getting me through the holidays, but I haven't been able to stop compulsively overeating since.
If I watch more than an hour of TV at a time, I find I want to graze on something. I don't have a device that records programmes at the moment, so I feel that I'm missing out if I go to my bedroom/study when there are programmes on that I really like. If I try to think it out logically I'll come up with something like 'people generally don't, at the end of their lives, express a wish that they'd watched more TV'. Seeking out immediate gratification is what I *do* though. I do have the means to obtain a recording device, or alternatively to sort out my main desktop computer and have a go at bit torrent whatsit. However those things involve some planning and following through.
The reasons behind my bingeing aren't based on TV watching though, they're because I am uncomfortable with myself and my feelings, and I have unhealthy ways of coping with that. All the methods I've tried so far have been short-term. Overeaters Anonymous, with their AA based 'spiritual' programme, winds me up something chronic. My psychiatrist isn't going to refer me to anyone while I'm trying to sort gender stuff out. Argh!
Plan:
Watch no more than one hour of TV in the evening/night (when I am alone).
Eat nothing after my evening meal, but plan to eat one or two pieces of fruit as a part of said meal.
Make more of an effort to drink water/herbal tea (I find it difficult to drink liquid when I'm having a difficult time).
Go on more evening strolls.
Use my food/feelings journal to write about how I'm feeling in the evening, and stuff about food.
Talk to people on IM/IRC when I'm finding things difficult.
Try and use some of the many coping techniques I have.
If I watch more than an hour of TV at a time, I find I want to graze on something. I don't have a device that records programmes at the moment, so I feel that I'm missing out if I go to my bedroom/study when there are programmes on that I really like. If I try to think it out logically I'll come up with something like 'people generally don't, at the end of their lives, express a wish that they'd watched more TV'. Seeking out immediate gratification is what I *do* though. I do have the means to obtain a recording device, or alternatively to sort out my main desktop computer and have a go at bit torrent whatsit. However those things involve some planning and following through.
The reasons behind my bingeing aren't based on TV watching though, they're because I am uncomfortable with myself and my feelings, and I have unhealthy ways of coping with that. All the methods I've tried so far have been short-term. Overeaters Anonymous, with their AA based 'spiritual' programme, winds me up something chronic. My psychiatrist isn't going to refer me to anyone while I'm trying to sort gender stuff out. Argh!
Plan:
Watch no more than one hour of TV in the evening/night (when I am alone).
Eat nothing after my evening meal, but plan to eat one or two pieces of fruit as a part of said meal.
Make more of an effort to drink water/herbal tea (I find it difficult to drink liquid when I'm having a difficult time).
Go on more evening strolls.
Use my food/feelings journal to write about how I'm feeling in the evening, and stuff about food.
Talk to people on IM/IRC when I'm finding things difficult.
Try and use some of the many coping techniques I have.