Precious gift my arse
Or where I reiterate how I feel about my experience of adoption.
*sigh*
In an adoption community I'm in, a first parent said "The true moment of pure joy and divine peace with my decision to make an adoption plan..." and I felt like vomiting. My 'decision' to make an 'adoption plan' came when a solicitor visited me in a psychiatric hospital after I had been declared sane¹ by my psychiatrist. Thanks, psychiatrist. I wasn't vulnerable at all. No, not at all. Yes, adoption was pretty much my only option, so it wasn't really a choice and when thinking of how I was backed into a corner like that I feel really bitter. For those who don't know/have forgotten, I had a daughter when I was 21, looked after her well for a couple of years, had a breakdown when my mother died, looked after her badly for an uncertain period of time and placed her in local authority care when things were obviously falling apart. She was in care for a year and her foster family were emigrating to Australia so there was a big rush to find an alternative family, and social services wanted her to be adopted as I didn't look like I was going to be getting better anytime soon. Stability is really important for kids especially little ones, so a life in and out of care would be something to be avoided. That doesn't stop it being a devastating experience that haunts me six years later, and probably will in time to come.
Logically, I know some other first parent's experience of adoption doesn't reflect on mine, but I am not ruled by logic.
NO HUGS PLEASE
¹ makes me think of Wonko the Sane
*sigh*
In an adoption community I'm in, a first parent said "The true moment of pure joy and divine peace with my decision to make an adoption plan..." and I felt like vomiting. My 'decision' to make an 'adoption plan' came when a solicitor visited me in a psychiatric hospital after I had been declared sane¹ by my psychiatrist. Thanks, psychiatrist. I wasn't vulnerable at all. No, not at all. Yes, adoption was pretty much my only option, so it wasn't really a choice and when thinking of how I was backed into a corner like that I feel really bitter. For those who don't know/have forgotten, I had a daughter when I was 21, looked after her well for a couple of years, had a breakdown when my mother died, looked after her badly for an uncertain period of time and placed her in local authority care when things were obviously falling apart. She was in care for a year and her foster family were emigrating to Australia so there was a big rush to find an alternative family, and social services wanted her to be adopted as I didn't look like I was going to be getting better anytime soon. Stability is really important for kids especially little ones, so a life in and out of care would be something to be avoided. That doesn't stop it being a devastating experience that haunts me six years later, and probably will in time to come.
Logically, I know some other first parent's experience of adoption doesn't reflect on mine, but I am not ruled by logic.
NO HUGS PLEASE
¹ makes me think of Wonko the Sane