(no subject)
I went to the gym today and actually had a bit of a chit chat with someone. It was the annoying helpful friendly guy from a few sessions ago. This time he showed me how to use a piece of equipment I already knew how to use, then kept cracking all sorts of very minor jokes. He's very eager. He suggested we go for coffee sometime and I said 'yeah sure' then laughed because he said it so out of the blue and fast. He's as fast as I am when I'm hypomanic. I'd quite like to be friendly with people at the gym. *Must* remember not to sleep with any of them though, that would be sh1tting on my own doorstop.
I've talked about this in my journal a few times, but it keeps being a problem for me: most of the time I don't know how to lie socially. I don't know how to answer 'How are you?' with 'Fine' if I'm feeling far from fine, and I know from experience that most people who ask me that awful question generally can't handle the truth if it is negative. I've also learnt that it really isn't appropriate to tell edited versions of my life history to strangers who ask me that question. So when the receptionists at the gym ask me how I am, I tell them that I don't know¹ and ask them how they are (but they will lie). I HATE this social convention, but I'd like to be able to engage with it in a way that doesn't cause too much jarring.
I'm lonely at the moment. I haven't replied to the replies to my post from the other day requesting company though, I've not felt up to it. Hopefully I'll get out of this anxious/depressed period soon.
¹ By this I mean that I don't know how to answer the question. If I say that in full, I get in trouble.
I've talked about this in my journal a few times, but it keeps being a problem for me: most of the time I don't know how to lie socially. I don't know how to answer 'How are you?' with 'Fine' if I'm feeling far from fine, and I know from experience that most people who ask me that awful question generally can't handle the truth if it is negative. I've also learnt that it really isn't appropriate to tell edited versions of my life history to strangers who ask me that question. So when the receptionists at the gym ask me how I am, I tell them that I don't know¹ and ask them how they are (but they will lie). I HATE this social convention, but I'd like to be able to engage with it in a way that doesn't cause too much jarring.
I'm lonely at the moment. I haven't replied to the replies to my post from the other day requesting company though, I've not felt up to it. Hopefully I'll get out of this anxious/depressed period soon.
¹ By this I mean that I don't know how to answer the question. If I say that in full, I get in trouble.