[Fic] Our Story -Collection of First Times- Part II
I can't believe it!!! (> <)
Finally, here it is!!!
KAT-TUN's new single!!!!
I'm so excited: new song, new PV and new Making of...all in one CD!^^
Nyctea is happy!
Apart from the fact that it's called "White X'Mas" and that it's a love ballad...I'm sure I'm gonna like it, anyway...
Oh my God, EbiKisu's concert...I so wanted to be there...
It had to be amazing...
I just hope that there will be a DVD...
I'm loving Toda Erika more and more, after seeing the cartoon KAT-TUN episode where she's guesting.
When she talked about how she was so stressed she thought about dying and about not believing in herself...she seemed so small...
°Oo____oO°
Title: Our Story -Collection of our First Times- (Part II)
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Notes: AU
Characters/Pairings: Akame, Uchi Hiroki, Ueda Tatsuya, Nishikido Ryo
Summary: Kame is a third year high school student. During one of his wanderings he meets in a park a man who plays the guitar and sings. He falls for his voice and, time after time, he finds out he can't go back anymore.
+++
The first time someone confronted him directly, it was Tat-chan.
Ueda Tatsuya was Kame's classmate for three years, he was a quiet guy, good-looking, though a bit feminine. Kame was the only one in their class allowed to speak him, even if Kame himself didn't know the reason for that privilege.
- Kame...are you in love?-
Kame dropped the onigiri he was eating.
- Why are you asking me that, Tat-chan?-
Ueda shrugged.
- You look like you're in love. Your eyes are shining.-
Kame took a sip of water before answering.
- I don't know.-
Ueda nodded.
- I'm in love with his voice, that's for sure.-
Kame realized he slipped too late, but Ueda didn't seem to mind that the person Kame was talking about was actually male.
- Is he good looking?-
- ...he is.-
- He must be a good person.-
- Why are you saying that?-
- Because you like him.-
Kame paused.
- But I like you too, Tat-chan.-
Ueda smiled.
- Thank you, Kame.-
+++
While he was going home that day, he received a mail from Uchi.
I'm sorry Kame, I wasn't able to cover for you today! Terayama-sensei found out you were skipping, I heard her talking on the phone with your father! You better watch out when you go back home...and remember you can always stay at my place! You know that, don't you? I'm really sorry, again!
Kame bit his lip.
He looked up, he could see his house from there.
He didn't want to go back. Not today.
He sighed.
He felt like crying.
He turned his back at his house and ran towards the park.
He hoped Akanishi-san was still there.
When he arrived, the other was carefully packing away his guitar. Kame reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
Akanishi-san turned, surprised.
- What's wrong? Didn't you go back home?-
- I...don't want to.-
Akanishi studied him for a long moment, then he sighed.
- You can come to my place, if you want. I have a futon for the guests and I can cook you dinner.-
Kame's heart was beating fast. This was a big change and maybe it was too risky. He couldn't be that selfish and accept, could he?
- I still own you for that lunch, after all. It is only fair I repay you in some way.-
Kame blushed. Could he?
- Ano...I...it's...Akanishi-san, I don't know if...-
Akanishi smiled and silenced Kame by taking his hand.
- If you feel that bad about it, you can always do me a favour in exchange.-
Kame nodded.
- What favour?-
- Cut it with the Akanishi-san- he smiled more. - Just call me Jin. I'm just two years older than you, after all.-
Kame blinked.
He supposed that, since he had somehow already accepted, he could risk it all.
- Okay...Jin.-
Akanishi laughed a bit and took his guitar in his right hand, while the left one still held Kame's. He tugged the other towards the exit.
When they were walking on the street, Kame realized this was the first time they left the park together.
+++
That day was full of first times, of course.
The first time he saw Jin's apartament, the first time he tasted Jin's cooking, and many more.
But the most vivid one is the first time he met Jin's friend.
They had just arrived in front of the apartament, when the door on the left suddenly opened.
- Jin! I'm so hating you today! What...-
He stopped abruptly as he saw Kame standing next to Jin.
He looked the same age as Jin, though he wasn't that tall; he had black hair and dark eyes and a frown on his face.
- Ah! Kazuya, this is Nishikido Ryo. He's my neighbour and one of my best friends.- Smiled Jin. - Ryo-chan, this is Kamenashi Kazuya.
Kame bowed his head.
Nishikido's eyes fell on their linked hands and he smirked.
- So, you are the Kazuya.-
Kame blinked. Had Jin talked about him?
- Ryo-chan!! Come on, Kazuya, let's get inside!-
Jin's face was bright red; he rushed inside the apartament, Kame after him.
Nishikido smiled at the closed door.
- So you finally made a move...-
The next morning, Jin wanted to walk him to school, but Kame refused politely.
Jin didn't insist.
When Kame was ready to leave and he was putting on his shoes, Jin stood before him.
- Kazuya...when you feel like you want to tell what happened...you know...you can come to me anytime...-
Kame nodded.
- Thank you.-
Jin smiled.
- Then...Itterasshai.-
There was no turning back now.
- Ittekimasu.-
+++
- Where the hell were you??-
It was unusual for Uchi to swear.
- We were worried sick.-
Ueda as standing next to Uchi. That too was an unusual combination.
- I'm sorry.-
- Your father called me!- Yelled Uchi. - I tried to reach you a hundred times, I thought you could have gone to Ueda-kun's place, but you didn't!-
- What did you...say to my father?-
- Of course I covered for you! Who do you think I am?-
Uchi was clearly mad.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry...-
Uchi blinked. Ueda sighed.
- We're not angry, we were just worried.- Explained his classmate. - Where did you go last night, Kame?You weren't sleeping outside in the cold, were you?-
- No, I...of course not! I...went to Jin's place!-
Uchi looked really confused. Ueda didn't.
- Is he the man you told me about? The one you're in love with?-
- I said I don't know if I am...- Frowned Kame.
- Did you sleep with him?-
Kame looked completely shocked.
- What?...No! Of course not, no! What do you take me for, Tat-chan??-
- What's wrong with it?-
- Okay, okay!!- Uchi interrupted. - I can't follow you two! Can you please explain to me what's going on?-
And Kame did.
He explained everything, from the moment he met the man at the park, to the moment he parted with Jin that morning.
Uchi listened carefully and then he sighed.
- I'm not gonna say anything, not now...this is not the time for this.-
Kame gulped.
- But I'm happy for you, if that's what you were worrying about...-
- I did worry for a moment there...-
- The problem is: yesterday you ran from your father but you can't do that forever. You'll have to face him one of these days, you know that...-
- I know...-
When he arrived at the park that afternoon, Jin greeted him with worried eyes. He was staring at him as if he was going to break any minutes now.
- How did school go today?-
Kame watched him suspiciously at first, then he broke into a smile.
- Quite good.-
- Ah, is that so?-
- Un...my friends got mad at me and scolded me.-
- Really?-
- It was the first time they did something like that...Actually, I didn't even know they knew each other...-
Jin laughed and Kame joined.
He knew he would have to face his father, but for now he just wanted to sit on that bench, drown in Jin's voice and forget everything else.
+++
That night he slept again at Jin's.
This time Kame cooked. It was the first time he cooked for someone other than himself.
- Wow, this is really good!-
Kame smiled, as he began eating too.
- I'm sorry for making you taste the horrible stuff I made yesterday...-
- It wasn't horrible at all! It tasted like...home.-
Jin smiled.
- I'm glad you think so, then.-
They ate quietly for the rest of the dinner.
They were washing the dishes, Kame soaped them and passed them to Jin, who rinsed them.
Suddenly, Kame spoke, his face serious.
- I'm gonna tell him everything.-
Jin turned to look at him, listening carefully.
- I'm gonna tell my father everything.-
The water flowing from the sink was so hot it began to smoke.
- I'm gonna tell him I want to quit baseball, that I'm not going to live my life as he wishes, that my dream is not his dream, that I don't even know what my dream is, yet. I just want to decide for myself.-
Jin turned off the water and took Kame's hands in his.
Kame looked at him.
- Is it a bad thing? To turn your back at your father like that?-
He whispered.
- I don't think you're turning your back at your father...-
Kame locked his eyes with Jin's.
Jin smiled his childlike smile.
- You're just turning to face another way, aren't you? You're just facing your own way.-
Kame took a deep breath.
Jin caressed his cheek.
- So...do your best.-
+++
The first time Jin spoke out his feelings was a few days later, they were in the park as always. Kame finally understood why Jin avoided talking about himself: he was rather confusing.
- Kazuya? Are you going to leave me behind?-
Kame blinked. Jin was pouting.
- You know I thought about it a lot, these days, I'm happy for you but I'm scared and I thought...well, actually Pi helped me out...Pi is my best friend...he told me that maybe now you won't bother to come here anymore and I thought, for real? When he starts to walk his path, he won't leave me behind, won't he? Then I thought that it's selfish of me to think that way, because I have no right to tell you that I want to be part of it all. I mean, I want you to walk by yourself, on your legs, but at the same time I want to be there for you. I'm scared you'll forget about me, I'm selfish for wanting to stay with you and I'm a big moron because I can't explain it, at all.-
Kame's head swirled. That was too much information at the same time.
He was still processing, when Jin spoke again.
- I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...-
- No. It's okay.You-you just surprised me.-
There was a moment of silence.
- I won't leave you behind. I can't.-
Kame took a deep breath.
- Jin, you gave me the courage to do it. You are...the beginning of it all. How can I even think of not wanting you there?Besides, I won't stop coming here, I still...like your voice, after all.-
Kame was blushing.
- So...it's okay to want to be there, isn't it? Since you want me there, too.-
Kame was blushing furiously but he nodded.
Jin smiled.
- No problem, then?-
- N-no problem...-
+++
- So?-
It was lunchbreak and Uchi was standing in front of his desk.
Kame blinked, confused.
- So what?-
Uchi was smirking.
- Last time I let it pass saying “this is not the time”, well...now is the time.-
Ueda, who was sitting at his desk in front of Kame's, turned.
- This is interesting. So?-
Kame gulped soundly.
- What do you guys want to know? I've already told you everything...-
- Are there some news? Did something change now that you've talked with your father?-
Kame blushed.
- Not really...-
- Oh, so something happened.- Smirked Ueda. - What is it?-
Kame was overly embarassed: it was the first time he had such a discussion with his friends, and both of them at the same time, nonetheless.
- Well...it was a few days ago...He...remember that I told you how he doesn't talk about himself? Well, actually, he did...he told me he was scared that I wouldn't go to the park anymore and that I would forget about him...and he told me that...he...wants to be there for me, to stay with me...-
Kame was flushed by now. He couln't look straightly at his friends, his eyes were fixed on his desk.
Ueda and Uchi smiled.
- And what did you tell him?-
Kame gulped.
- I...told him...that I...want him there.-
Uchi and Ueda exchanged a significant look.
- Do you love him, Kame?-
Kame's eyes widened.
- I don't know anything about him!-
Uchi sighed.
- For what you told me, you know him more than you think. Besides, you trust him, don't you?-
- I do.-
- That doesn't answer Ueda-kun's question, anyway...do you love him?-
Kame bit his lip.
- I...do...-
He closed his eyes. It was the first time he said it out loud.
He couldn't take it back, anymore.
Ueda spoke next.
- Did you two kiss?-
- Of course not. Why would we?-
- Well, he was confessing, wasn't he?-
- What?-
- Saying that he wants to stay with you...he was obviously confessing.-
- Tat-chan, that's not it at all!-
- Well,- Interrupted Uchi. - what else could that have meant?-
Kame didn't know how to answer.
+++
It was January.
Kame was staying at Jin's place for the night.
Somehow, it became a habit. Maybe it started when Kame took care of him when Jin was sick, or maybe when Jin forced him to come, saying Pi wanted to meet him. Kame didn't know exactly how, but he ended up staying over almost once a week.
They had just finished dinner.
- Kazuya? Can I play something for you?-
Kame blinked. Did he have to ask?
- It's a new song I've been working on for some time now...I'd really like you to listen to it...-
- Of course.-
They sat on the living room's floor; Kame was in front of Jin, who was holding his guitar.
Jin looked intensely at him, before starting to play.
“Amid conspirancies and lies
I carry this clumsy love
On those days I disliked, when I was pushed by time
I felt a little freedom
In a few years this may become a memory, so...
I suddenly tried to put “Now” together
With the memories I was beginning to forget
Today I carry so many precious things
That it's hard to walk
We, and surely everybody else, are always
Carrying around countless sadnesses and weaknesses
Even if you're about to collapse, have the strenght to keep walking
Surely, right there, as many smiles as the tears you've shed
Will be waiting for you.
As days went by, I was loosing sight of something
I hope our clasped hands won't ever come apart
Because of this way I am
For example, at the sake of you getting hurt
everyone's love changes color countless of times
On days when you're tired and you lean on me
However you are, I'll hold you
We, and surely everybody else, are always
Carrying around countless sadnesses and weaknesses
Even if you're about to collapse, have the strenght to keep walking
Surely, right there, as many smiles as the tears you've shed
Will be waiting for you.
Believe in yourself.”
Kame was speechless. The song ended and he couldn't say anything.
Jin put aside his guitar and he got closer to Kame.
He looked at Jin in the eyes.
- It's a wonderful song.-
Jin brushed some bangs out of his face and he caressed his cheek.
- I wrote it for you.-
They remained in silence for a while.
- Kazuya...-
Jin seemed at a loss of words.
- I...I'm a bit stupid and most of the time I'm too carefree for my own good, I don't know yet what to do with my life, but there are some things that I'm sure about, they keep echoing in my head and they won't leave. There are things I want to do for the rest of my life, whatever it takes. I want to stay by my friends' side, I want to play my guitar, I want to write songs, I want to sing and I want...to be with you.-
Kame's heart was racing.
- If you'll let me, of course...-
Kame nodded.
- Please...stay with me, please.-
Jin smiled.
- Kazuya...can I...kiss you?-
Kame blushed but he nodded, smiling.
It was their first kiss.
Finally, here it is!!!
KAT-TUN's new single!!!!
I'm so excited: new song, new PV and new Making of...all in one CD!^^
Nyctea is happy!
Apart from the fact that it's called "White X'Mas" and that it's a love ballad...I'm sure I'm gonna like it, anyway...
Oh my God, EbiKisu's concert...I so wanted to be there...
It had to be amazing...
I just hope that there will be a DVD...
I'm loving Toda Erika more and more, after seeing the cartoon KAT-TUN episode where she's guesting.
When she talked about how she was so stressed she thought about dying and about not believing in herself...she seemed so small...
°Oo____oO°
Title: Our Story -Collection of our First Times- (Part II)
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Notes: AU
Characters/Pairings: Akame, Uchi Hiroki, Ueda Tatsuya, Nishikido Ryo
Summary: Kame is a third year high school student. During one of his wanderings he meets in a park a man who plays the guitar and sings. He falls for his voice and, time after time, he finds out he can't go back anymore.
+++
The first time someone confronted him directly, it was Tat-chan.
Ueda Tatsuya was Kame's classmate for three years, he was a quiet guy, good-looking, though a bit feminine. Kame was the only one in their class allowed to speak him, even if Kame himself didn't know the reason for that privilege.
- Kame...are you in love?-
Kame dropped the onigiri he was eating.
- Why are you asking me that, Tat-chan?-
Ueda shrugged.
- You look like you're in love. Your eyes are shining.-
Kame took a sip of water before answering.
- I don't know.-
Ueda nodded.
- I'm in love with his voice, that's for sure.-
Kame realized he slipped too late, but Ueda didn't seem to mind that the person Kame was talking about was actually male.
- Is he good looking?-
- ...he is.-
- He must be a good person.-
- Why are you saying that?-
- Because you like him.-
Kame paused.
- But I like you too, Tat-chan.-
Ueda smiled.
- Thank you, Kame.-
+++
While he was going home that day, he received a mail from Uchi.
I'm sorry Kame, I wasn't able to cover for you today! Terayama-sensei found out you were skipping, I heard her talking on the phone with your father! You better watch out when you go back home...and remember you can always stay at my place! You know that, don't you? I'm really sorry, again!
Kame bit his lip.
He looked up, he could see his house from there.
He didn't want to go back. Not today.
He sighed.
He felt like crying.
He turned his back at his house and ran towards the park.
He hoped Akanishi-san was still there.
When he arrived, the other was carefully packing away his guitar. Kame reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
Akanishi-san turned, surprised.
- What's wrong? Didn't you go back home?-
- I...don't want to.-
Akanishi studied him for a long moment, then he sighed.
- You can come to my place, if you want. I have a futon for the guests and I can cook you dinner.-
Kame's heart was beating fast. This was a big change and maybe it was too risky. He couldn't be that selfish and accept, could he?
- I still own you for that lunch, after all. It is only fair I repay you in some way.-
Kame blushed. Could he?
- Ano...I...it's...Akanishi-san, I don't know if...-
Akanishi smiled and silenced Kame by taking his hand.
- If you feel that bad about it, you can always do me a favour in exchange.-
Kame nodded.
- What favour?-
- Cut it with the Akanishi-san- he smiled more. - Just call me Jin. I'm just two years older than you, after all.-
Kame blinked.
He supposed that, since he had somehow already accepted, he could risk it all.
- Okay...Jin.-
Akanishi laughed a bit and took his guitar in his right hand, while the left one still held Kame's. He tugged the other towards the exit.
When they were walking on the street, Kame realized this was the first time they left the park together.
+++
That day was full of first times, of course.
The first time he saw Jin's apartament, the first time he tasted Jin's cooking, and many more.
But the most vivid one is the first time he met Jin's friend.
They had just arrived in front of the apartament, when the door on the left suddenly opened.
- Jin! I'm so hating you today! What...-
He stopped abruptly as he saw Kame standing next to Jin.
He looked the same age as Jin, though he wasn't that tall; he had black hair and dark eyes and a frown on his face.
- Ah! Kazuya, this is Nishikido Ryo. He's my neighbour and one of my best friends.- Smiled Jin. - Ryo-chan, this is Kamenashi Kazuya.
Kame bowed his head.
Nishikido's eyes fell on their linked hands and he smirked.
- So, you are the Kazuya.-
Kame blinked. Had Jin talked about him?
- Ryo-chan!! Come on, Kazuya, let's get inside!-
Jin's face was bright red; he rushed inside the apartament, Kame after him.
Nishikido smiled at the closed door.
- So you finally made a move...-
The next morning, Jin wanted to walk him to school, but Kame refused politely.
Jin didn't insist.
When Kame was ready to leave and he was putting on his shoes, Jin stood before him.
- Kazuya...when you feel like you want to tell what happened...you know...you can come to me anytime...-
Kame nodded.
- Thank you.-
Jin smiled.
- Then...Itterasshai.-
There was no turning back now.
- Ittekimasu.-
+++
- Where the hell were you??-
It was unusual for Uchi to swear.
- We were worried sick.-
Ueda as standing next to Uchi. That too was an unusual combination.
- I'm sorry.-
- Your father called me!- Yelled Uchi. - I tried to reach you a hundred times, I thought you could have gone to Ueda-kun's place, but you didn't!-
- What did you...say to my father?-
- Of course I covered for you! Who do you think I am?-
Uchi was clearly mad.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry...-
Uchi blinked. Ueda sighed.
- We're not angry, we were just worried.- Explained his classmate. - Where did you go last night, Kame?You weren't sleeping outside in the cold, were you?-
- No, I...of course not! I...went to Jin's place!-
Uchi looked really confused. Ueda didn't.
- Is he the man you told me about? The one you're in love with?-
- I said I don't know if I am...- Frowned Kame.
- Did you sleep with him?-
Kame looked completely shocked.
- What?...No! Of course not, no! What do you take me for, Tat-chan??-
- What's wrong with it?-
- Okay, okay!!- Uchi interrupted. - I can't follow you two! Can you please explain to me what's going on?-
And Kame did.
He explained everything, from the moment he met the man at the park, to the moment he parted with Jin that morning.
Uchi listened carefully and then he sighed.
- I'm not gonna say anything, not now...this is not the time for this.-
Kame gulped.
- But I'm happy for you, if that's what you were worrying about...-
- I did worry for a moment there...-
- The problem is: yesterday you ran from your father but you can't do that forever. You'll have to face him one of these days, you know that...-
- I know...-
When he arrived at the park that afternoon, Jin greeted him with worried eyes. He was staring at him as if he was going to break any minutes now.
- How did school go today?-
Kame watched him suspiciously at first, then he broke into a smile.
- Quite good.-
- Ah, is that so?-
- Un...my friends got mad at me and scolded me.-
- Really?-
- It was the first time they did something like that...Actually, I didn't even know they knew each other...-
Jin laughed and Kame joined.
He knew he would have to face his father, but for now he just wanted to sit on that bench, drown in Jin's voice and forget everything else.
+++
That night he slept again at Jin's.
This time Kame cooked. It was the first time he cooked for someone other than himself.
- Wow, this is really good!-
Kame smiled, as he began eating too.
- I'm sorry for making you taste the horrible stuff I made yesterday...-
- It wasn't horrible at all! It tasted like...home.-
Jin smiled.
- I'm glad you think so, then.-
They ate quietly for the rest of the dinner.
They were washing the dishes, Kame soaped them and passed them to Jin, who rinsed them.
Suddenly, Kame spoke, his face serious.
- I'm gonna tell him everything.-
Jin turned to look at him, listening carefully.
- I'm gonna tell my father everything.-
The water flowing from the sink was so hot it began to smoke.
- I'm gonna tell him I want to quit baseball, that I'm not going to live my life as he wishes, that my dream is not his dream, that I don't even know what my dream is, yet. I just want to decide for myself.-
Jin turned off the water and took Kame's hands in his.
Kame looked at him.
- Is it a bad thing? To turn your back at your father like that?-
He whispered.
- I don't think you're turning your back at your father...-
Kame locked his eyes with Jin's.
Jin smiled his childlike smile.
- You're just turning to face another way, aren't you? You're just facing your own way.-
Kame took a deep breath.
Jin caressed his cheek.
- So...do your best.-
+++
The first time Jin spoke out his feelings was a few days later, they were in the park as always. Kame finally understood why Jin avoided talking about himself: he was rather confusing.
- Kazuya? Are you going to leave me behind?-
Kame blinked. Jin was pouting.
- You know I thought about it a lot, these days, I'm happy for you but I'm scared and I thought...well, actually Pi helped me out...Pi is my best friend...he told me that maybe now you won't bother to come here anymore and I thought, for real? When he starts to walk his path, he won't leave me behind, won't he? Then I thought that it's selfish of me to think that way, because I have no right to tell you that I want to be part of it all. I mean, I want you to walk by yourself, on your legs, but at the same time I want to be there for you. I'm scared you'll forget about me, I'm selfish for wanting to stay with you and I'm a big moron because I can't explain it, at all.-
Kame's head swirled. That was too much information at the same time.
He was still processing, when Jin spoke again.
- I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...-
- No. It's okay.You-you just surprised me.-
There was a moment of silence.
- I won't leave you behind. I can't.-
Kame took a deep breath.
- Jin, you gave me the courage to do it. You are...the beginning of it all. How can I even think of not wanting you there?Besides, I won't stop coming here, I still...like your voice, after all.-
Kame was blushing.
- So...it's okay to want to be there, isn't it? Since you want me there, too.-
Kame was blushing furiously but he nodded.
Jin smiled.
- No problem, then?-
- N-no problem...-
+++
- So?-
It was lunchbreak and Uchi was standing in front of his desk.
Kame blinked, confused.
- So what?-
Uchi was smirking.
- Last time I let it pass saying “this is not the time”, well...now is the time.-
Ueda, who was sitting at his desk in front of Kame's, turned.
- This is interesting. So?-
Kame gulped soundly.
- What do you guys want to know? I've already told you everything...-
- Are there some news? Did something change now that you've talked with your father?-
Kame blushed.
- Not really...-
- Oh, so something happened.- Smirked Ueda. - What is it?-
Kame was overly embarassed: it was the first time he had such a discussion with his friends, and both of them at the same time, nonetheless.
- Well...it was a few days ago...He...remember that I told you how he doesn't talk about himself? Well, actually, he did...he told me he was scared that I wouldn't go to the park anymore and that I would forget about him...and he told me that...he...wants to be there for me, to stay with me...-
Kame was flushed by now. He couln't look straightly at his friends, his eyes were fixed on his desk.
Ueda and Uchi smiled.
- And what did you tell him?-
Kame gulped.
- I...told him...that I...want him there.-
Uchi and Ueda exchanged a significant look.
- Do you love him, Kame?-
Kame's eyes widened.
- I don't know anything about him!-
Uchi sighed.
- For what you told me, you know him more than you think. Besides, you trust him, don't you?-
- I do.-
- That doesn't answer Ueda-kun's question, anyway...do you love him?-
Kame bit his lip.
- I...do...-
He closed his eyes. It was the first time he said it out loud.
He couldn't take it back, anymore.
Ueda spoke next.
- Did you two kiss?-
- Of course not. Why would we?-
- Well, he was confessing, wasn't he?-
- What?-
- Saying that he wants to stay with you...he was obviously confessing.-
- Tat-chan, that's not it at all!-
- Well,- Interrupted Uchi. - what else could that have meant?-
Kame didn't know how to answer.
+++
It was January.
Kame was staying at Jin's place for the night.
Somehow, it became a habit. Maybe it started when Kame took care of him when Jin was sick, or maybe when Jin forced him to come, saying Pi wanted to meet him. Kame didn't know exactly how, but he ended up staying over almost once a week.
They had just finished dinner.
- Kazuya? Can I play something for you?-
Kame blinked. Did he have to ask?
- It's a new song I've been working on for some time now...I'd really like you to listen to it...-
- Of course.-
They sat on the living room's floor; Kame was in front of Jin, who was holding his guitar.
Jin looked intensely at him, before starting to play.
“Amid conspirancies and lies
I carry this clumsy love
On those days I disliked, when I was pushed by time
I felt a little freedom
In a few years this may become a memory, so...
I suddenly tried to put “Now” together
With the memories I was beginning to forget
Today I carry so many precious things
That it's hard to walk
We, and surely everybody else, are always
Carrying around countless sadnesses and weaknesses
Even if you're about to collapse, have the strenght to keep walking
Surely, right there, as many smiles as the tears you've shed
Will be waiting for you.
As days went by, I was loosing sight of something
I hope our clasped hands won't ever come apart
Because of this way I am
For example, at the sake of you getting hurt
everyone's love changes color countless of times
On days when you're tired and you lean on me
However you are, I'll hold you
We, and surely everybody else, are always
Carrying around countless sadnesses and weaknesses
Even if you're about to collapse, have the strenght to keep walking
Surely, right there, as many smiles as the tears you've shed
Will be waiting for you.
Believe in yourself.”
Kame was speechless. The song ended and he couldn't say anything.
Jin put aside his guitar and he got closer to Kame.
He looked at Jin in the eyes.
- It's a wonderful song.-
Jin brushed some bangs out of his face and he caressed his cheek.
- I wrote it for you.-
They remained in silence for a while.
- Kazuya...-
Jin seemed at a loss of words.
- I...I'm a bit stupid and most of the time I'm too carefree for my own good, I don't know yet what to do with my life, but there are some things that I'm sure about, they keep echoing in my head and they won't leave. There are things I want to do for the rest of my life, whatever it takes. I want to stay by my friends' side, I want to play my guitar, I want to write songs, I want to sing and I want...to be with you.-
Kame's heart was racing.
- If you'll let me, of course...-
Kame nodded.
- Please...stay with me, please.-
Jin smiled.
- Kazuya...can I...kiss you?-
Kame blushed but he nodded, smiling.
It was their first kiss.