Laughin my ass off...
To the days when we all lived in Madville.... From Summer 2002
Something worth LJing... Last night Mom informs me today I have to help clean out the pool... The lady that owns the house doesnt have a pool cover... so leaves, dirt, and anything else you can imagine has built up in the bottom of this swimming pool... For the past 3 days we have been pumping the 22,000 gallons of water outta this baby... and now its time to get all the shit out... Mom informed me that she saw a turtle a couple of days ago... but yesterday she started bleaching the walls... so i figured the turtle would be D.O.A. ....So i recruit my best friend Alissa to help me with this cleaning task... seeing as how she will be swimming here too... She gets here and we go and fuck around with trying to get the shit out from the edge of the pool... it was a sorry effort... and an even sorrier result... so we decide to tough it and go get on some pool cleaning gear... Me in my red pj pants rolled up to my knees, a black tank top, pink knee high socks, and Davids fishing boots... Alissa in a pair of Laurens hoochie shorts, Laurens bikini top, and moms gardening shoes... Alissa is armed with a flimsy excuse for a rake... and I am armed with a skimming net that looks to be from the 70's... we slide our way down into the depths of the algae filled pool... Alissa raking shit into my net... me hurling it onto the sidewalk above... occasionally a scream from one of us because Alissa hooked me with the shit covered rake or her splattering goo on her legs or us seeing some long-ass worms... I tell ya... i have never laughed that hard in my life... we are SUCH girls! Then we find the turtle... still alive! Alissa starts screaming for me to save it... so i get the net and dump it on the sidewalk too... then we go on with the cleaning until the stench is just too unbearable... then... picture us trying to get out of the pool we slid into... the ladders are not close enough to the ground to climb... so we shuffled up the side mission impossible style... soooo hilarious... what the neighbors must have thought with our screams and moans and "take it bitch" comments... lol... if only there were a camera crew following me and my friends around... i would give anything to have this afternoon on tape... BTW... the turtle, lovingly named Gilligan, is swimming in a tupperware bowl on my kitchen table... what the hell am I supposed to do with him now?
Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
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5:49 pm - .:* Death to all wildlife living in my pool! *:.
The pool saga continues...
Robin, Ryan, and Alissa arrive at my house around 1-ish today. Our mission: Clean the pool... Temperature: at least 90 fuckin degrees... We are armed with new weapons... A shovel, a hoe (metal not human), and two huge scrub brush thingys... along with yesterdays tools (the net and weak-ass excuse for a rake). We head to the pool in our grime fighting attire (we looked too cute) and shimmy into the concrete hole some like to call a pool... Today is much more productive than yesterday b/c we have twice as many workers... so we get out all of the leaves we can... raking and shoveling from the murky water to the sidewalk above... and decide to wait for the rest of the water to drain before we can get anymore... so we take our hot and tired bodies into the sweet aircondidtioned house... well... it was cooler than outside... buit it was still set on 79... what kind of crap is that?... so i turn it down to about 70 and we all collapse on my bed and blare some Envogue (nuthin better than mid 90's black-woman-power-pop) and complain about the hottness... then i get the amazing idea to fill the jacuzzi with cool water and get in with our bathing suits on... I have never felt so refreshed in all my life... Robin, Alissa, and I all in the jacuzzi while Ryan snaps some oh-so-sexy pictures... lol... we were anything but sexy... the peace was disturbed when Ryan noticed a bug crawling on Robins back... she freaks and i kill it... we get out... Later on Robin and Alissa go back to the pool to check on the pump... and Robin is raking more leaves out of the water when she is almost attacked by a giant crawdad!... so then Ryan and I join in the hunt for the crawdad who has emerged back into the green murky water... I get the net and stand on the pools edge and fish for the crustacean-like beast... I find one and try to bring it to the surface... but it was HUGE!... It was the size of a lobster!( I am NOT exaggerating!) We all screamed and freaked out as it wriggled free of the net and sunk back into the slime... the one that tried to attack Robin must have been a baby... Once we compose ourselves we try again... this time i find a small one... trap it under the net... Robin shimmys back into the pool (brave girl) and bashes it several times with the shovel... dead... we rejoice... then later i find the Mother of all crawdads... trap it under the net... and Robin bravely shimmys back into the concrete-death-trap... and bashes it once... it doesnt die and it get out from under the net... but i trap it and hold it with the edge of the otorn net... and we scream for her to get the hoe... she does... and after 3 hits of the hoe... the crustacean is in 3 peices... we rejoice... ( I forgot to mention I killed a huge-ass-poisonous-looking-spider earlier in the day)... and we retire to the kitchen for some refreshing ice-water to relive the adventures of the day... and now my partners have left me... another day and another dollar... wait a minute... we dont get paid for this shit!... i guess it will be worth it when i am laying on a float... margarita in hand... basking in the wonderful Kentucky sun
Sunday, July 28th, 2002
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1:14 pm - .:* I am soooo NOT Mary Richards anymore *:.
Ill start from the beginning... if i can even remember the begining...
Yesterday at about 9ish people started showing up for the party... Id say by 10:30 about 50 people were here... mine and Laurens friends mixed... Laurens friends were mostly hangin out inside or in the driveway... my friends were mostly out by the pool... Around then i decided to take Katy with me out to the tree so i could smoke my little joint ive had for a while... it was goood. We head back over to the pool...and do some stupid shit... I just love actin stupid with my friends... we always have so much fun....
Plenty of Alcohol was in attendance... Robin bought a case of smirnoff ice and a 6 pack of raspberry sumblime and some other stuff... I had like a gallon of vodka... people alos brought beer, jim beam, southern comfort... okay you get the picture... we were all feeling really good... Katy and Dustin left... at around 1-ish i heard somebody say something about a cop... it didnt really register... I was eating some cherry pie in my highness/drunkenness and sarah was chowin on some bread... then i noticed about ten people walkin across the yard... i turned to my new friend CHris and was like... LOL>... why are they all runnin across the yard... are they playin a game?.... then we saw a flashlight.... and LITERALLLY 30 people ran into the darkness that is my back yard... lol... it was hilarious... but then i got sooo scraed... Lauren found me and Robin said she woke up my mom cause the cop was askin for a parent... so my sweet mother says to Robin... "Why the fuck arethe cops here?!?!?!"... SHE GOES TO TALK TO THEM... ANYWAYS lAUREN FOUND ME AND TOLD ME MOM WANTED ME TO GO OUT THERE WITH HER AND THE COPS!... I WAS LIKE NOOOO WAY!... opps sorry bout the caps... But i did notice like 30 bottles and the vodka in plain view so i threw them behind the brick into the bush and knocked on my window (ok actuallyi was trying to get in but i just couldnt do it)and i got ryans attentions to turn off the music...so i hid for like 5 min and lauren came back and told me to go... so i did... high as fuck and drunk as hell... SO im standing there with James and Brandon ( the 21 year olds)... trying my best to look sober... The cop tells my mom that (backup- the reason the cops came is b/c some dumass girl from our party was walkin down the road drunk and he found her) he was takin the girl to jail and possibly my mother on charges of contributing to the delinquincy(sp?) of a minor... for EVERY minor there... (like 50 or so) DAMN! The cops walk around flashing people in the face with the flashlight and then they go lookin for the scatterers in the woods... they came back with no-one...lol... Somehow my Mom, Brandon, and James convince the cops to let Kyle (DD) take the girl home and make everyone else leave unless they r drunk... then they stay or find a DD... whew... we could have all gone to jail... I had to stand up there with 3 cops and my mother....i was sooo high and sooo drunk.... i think it was the longest half hour of my life... the cops leave and i apologize profusely to my mother... somehow- she is cool with it... she said i would never have another party again.... but she didnt get mad at me and lauren... but she did yell atthat girl and wouldnt let her come into the house to pee... haha... The cop episonde was scary and now over...
Then we were all just really freaked out... All of the scatterers-( mostly Laurens friends...my friends just sat there)- started coming back and people got calls on their cell phones telling them where some people ended up.... some people seriously ran a mile at least!... Some kids were hiding in a ditch by wal-mart!...lol... some were on some street faraway...and others just were far away...lol... i couldnt beleive how far some people ran... so they all got rides home and left their cars here... people emerged out of the woods ... everyone just about was accounted for... so we decide to celebrate of escape from the law...mom sat and talked to us for a while... she went to bed... then some people decided to go down by the pond and sit... so i did too... we were out there,...singin some moulin rouge and some i will survive... then we came back to the house for a bit... when they wanted to go to the pond again i was like...no... there were frogs!... Ryan and Chris tried to tell me they would protect me from the frogs... ryan goes "The frog will be alll like *RIBBIT* (in his thug voice)... and Ill be all like *FUCK YOU* ( also in his thug voice)" It was the funniest thing ive ever heard... then Chris was all like "Ill scream that frog to death before i let it get to you!!" Lol... those boys are hilarious... we went back... finally everyone congregated about 4 am on the breezeway... I had to go to bed... but i stayed up til like 4:30 i think... laughin with my peeps... then went and started clearing off my bed... i found a smirnoff ice under my pillows... lol... i crawled into my comfy bed and drifted into a sweet slumber...
I awoke this mornig for like 2 min to pee and look in my living room at like 15 people asleep all around me...then i went back to sleep... When i awoke again, at 1pm, everyone was gone...
Damn...that was one hellacious party...
I hope you all enjoyed it... Ill never have another one...
Im sure i have forgotten soooo many important details.... comment if you remember anything... and also I wanna hear everybodies favorite memory of last night...ASAP...
Love Always, Rachael Lynn Knight
current mood: enthralled
current music: The music of the memories from last night....
Something worth LJing... Last night Mom informs me today I have to help clean out the pool... The lady that owns the house doesnt have a pool cover... so leaves, dirt, and anything else you can imagine has built up in the bottom of this swimming pool... For the past 3 days we have been pumping the 22,000 gallons of water outta this baby... and now its time to get all the shit out... Mom informed me that she saw a turtle a couple of days ago... but yesterday she started bleaching the walls... so i figured the turtle would be D.O.A. ....So i recruit my best friend Alissa to help me with this cleaning task... seeing as how she will be swimming here too... She gets here and we go and fuck around with trying to get the shit out from the edge of the pool... it was a sorry effort... and an even sorrier result... so we decide to tough it and go get on some pool cleaning gear... Me in my red pj pants rolled up to my knees, a black tank top, pink knee high socks, and Davids fishing boots... Alissa in a pair of Laurens hoochie shorts, Laurens bikini top, and moms gardening shoes... Alissa is armed with a flimsy excuse for a rake... and I am armed with a skimming net that looks to be from the 70's... we slide our way down into the depths of the algae filled pool... Alissa raking shit into my net... me hurling it onto the sidewalk above... occasionally a scream from one of us because Alissa hooked me with the shit covered rake or her splattering goo on her legs or us seeing some long-ass worms... I tell ya... i have never laughed that hard in my life... we are SUCH girls! Then we find the turtle... still alive! Alissa starts screaming for me to save it... so i get the net and dump it on the sidewalk too... then we go on with the cleaning until the stench is just too unbearable... then... picture us trying to get out of the pool we slid into... the ladders are not close enough to the ground to climb... so we shuffled up the side mission impossible style... soooo hilarious... what the neighbors must have thought with our screams and moans and "take it bitch" comments... lol... if only there were a camera crew following me and my friends around... i would give anything to have this afternoon on tape... BTW... the turtle, lovingly named Gilligan, is swimming in a tupperware bowl on my kitchen table... what the hell am I supposed to do with him now?
Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5:49 pm - .:* Death to all wildlife living in my pool! *:.
The pool saga continues...
Robin, Ryan, and Alissa arrive at my house around 1-ish today. Our mission: Clean the pool... Temperature: at least 90 fuckin degrees... We are armed with new weapons... A shovel, a hoe (metal not human), and two huge scrub brush thingys... along with yesterdays tools (the net and weak-ass excuse for a rake). We head to the pool in our grime fighting attire (we looked too cute) and shimmy into the concrete hole some like to call a pool... Today is much more productive than yesterday b/c we have twice as many workers... so we get out all of the leaves we can... raking and shoveling from the murky water to the sidewalk above... and decide to wait for the rest of the water to drain before we can get anymore... so we take our hot and tired bodies into the sweet aircondidtioned house... well... it was cooler than outside... buit it was still set on 79... what kind of crap is that?... so i turn it down to about 70 and we all collapse on my bed and blare some Envogue (nuthin better than mid 90's black-woman-power-pop) and complain about the hottness... then i get the amazing idea to fill the jacuzzi with cool water and get in with our bathing suits on... I have never felt so refreshed in all my life... Robin, Alissa, and I all in the jacuzzi while Ryan snaps some oh-so-sexy pictures... lol... we were anything but sexy... the peace was disturbed when Ryan noticed a bug crawling on Robins back... she freaks and i kill it... we get out... Later on Robin and Alissa go back to the pool to check on the pump... and Robin is raking more leaves out of the water when she is almost attacked by a giant crawdad!... so then Ryan and I join in the hunt for the crawdad who has emerged back into the green murky water... I get the net and stand on the pools edge and fish for the crustacean-like beast... I find one and try to bring it to the surface... but it was HUGE!... It was the size of a lobster!( I am NOT exaggerating!) We all screamed and freaked out as it wriggled free of the net and sunk back into the slime... the one that tried to attack Robin must have been a baby... Once we compose ourselves we try again... this time i find a small one... trap it under the net... Robin shimmys back into the pool (brave girl) and bashes it several times with the shovel... dead... we rejoice... then later i find the Mother of all crawdads... trap it under the net... and Robin bravely shimmys back into the concrete-death-trap... and bashes it once... it doesnt die and it get out from under the net... but i trap it and hold it with the edge of the otorn net... and we scream for her to get the hoe... she does... and after 3 hits of the hoe... the crustacean is in 3 peices... we rejoice... ( I forgot to mention I killed a huge-ass-poisonous-looking-spider earlier in the day)... and we retire to the kitchen for some refreshing ice-water to relive the adventures of the day... and now my partners have left me... another day and another dollar... wait a minute... we dont get paid for this shit!... i guess it will be worth it when i am laying on a float... margarita in hand... basking in the wonderful Kentucky sun
Sunday, July 28th, 2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1:14 pm - .:* I am soooo NOT Mary Richards anymore *:.
Ill start from the beginning... if i can even remember the begining...
Yesterday at about 9ish people started showing up for the party... Id say by 10:30 about 50 people were here... mine and Laurens friends mixed... Laurens friends were mostly hangin out inside or in the driveway... my friends were mostly out by the pool... Around then i decided to take Katy with me out to the tree so i could smoke my little joint ive had for a while... it was goood. We head back over to the pool...and do some stupid shit... I just love actin stupid with my friends... we always have so much fun....
Plenty of Alcohol was in attendance... Robin bought a case of smirnoff ice and a 6 pack of raspberry sumblime and some other stuff... I had like a gallon of vodka... people alos brought beer, jim beam, southern comfort... okay you get the picture... we were all feeling really good... Katy and Dustin left... at around 1-ish i heard somebody say something about a cop... it didnt really register... I was eating some cherry pie in my highness/drunkenness and sarah was chowin on some bread... then i noticed about ten people walkin across the yard... i turned to my new friend CHris and was like... LOL>... why are they all runnin across the yard... are they playin a game?.... then we saw a flashlight.... and LITERALLLY 30 people ran into the darkness that is my back yard... lol... it was hilarious... but then i got sooo scraed... Lauren found me and Robin said she woke up my mom cause the cop was askin for a parent... so my sweet mother says to Robin... "Why the fuck arethe cops here?!?!?!"... SHE GOES TO TALK TO THEM... ANYWAYS lAUREN FOUND ME AND TOLD ME MOM WANTED ME TO GO OUT THERE WITH HER AND THE COPS!... I WAS LIKE NOOOO WAY!... opps sorry bout the caps... But i did notice like 30 bottles and the vodka in plain view so i threw them behind the brick into the bush and knocked on my window (ok actuallyi was trying to get in but i just couldnt do it)and i got ryans attentions to turn off the music...so i hid for like 5 min and lauren came back and told me to go... so i did... high as fuck and drunk as hell... SO im standing there with James and Brandon ( the 21 year olds)... trying my best to look sober... The cop tells my mom that (backup- the reason the cops came is b/c some dumass girl from our party was walkin down the road drunk and he found her) he was takin the girl to jail and possibly my mother on charges of contributing to the delinquincy(sp?) of a minor... for EVERY minor there... (like 50 or so) DAMN! The cops walk around flashing people in the face with the flashlight and then they go lookin for the scatterers in the woods... they came back with no-one...lol... Somehow my Mom, Brandon, and James convince the cops to let Kyle (DD) take the girl home and make everyone else leave unless they r drunk... then they stay or find a DD... whew... we could have all gone to jail... I had to stand up there with 3 cops and my mother....i was sooo high and sooo drunk.... i think it was the longest half hour of my life... the cops leave and i apologize profusely to my mother... somehow- she is cool with it... she said i would never have another party again.... but she didnt get mad at me and lauren... but she did yell atthat girl and wouldnt let her come into the house to pee... haha... The cop episonde was scary and now over...
Then we were all just really freaked out... All of the scatterers-( mostly Laurens friends...my friends just sat there)- started coming back and people got calls on their cell phones telling them where some people ended up.... some people seriously ran a mile at least!... Some kids were hiding in a ditch by wal-mart!...lol... some were on some street faraway...and others just were far away...lol... i couldnt beleive how far some people ran... so they all got rides home and left their cars here... people emerged out of the woods ... everyone just about was accounted for... so we decide to celebrate of escape from the law...mom sat and talked to us for a while... she went to bed... then some people decided to go down by the pond and sit... so i did too... we were out there,...singin some moulin rouge and some i will survive... then we came back to the house for a bit... when they wanted to go to the pond again i was like...no... there were frogs!... Ryan and Chris tried to tell me they would protect me from the frogs... ryan goes "The frog will be alll like *RIBBIT* (in his thug voice)... and Ill be all like *FUCK YOU* ( also in his thug voice)" It was the funniest thing ive ever heard... then Chris was all like "Ill scream that frog to death before i let it get to you!!" Lol... those boys are hilarious... we went back... finally everyone congregated about 4 am on the breezeway... I had to go to bed... but i stayed up til like 4:30 i think... laughin with my peeps... then went and started clearing off my bed... i found a smirnoff ice under my pillows... lol... i crawled into my comfy bed and drifted into a sweet slumber...
I awoke this mornig for like 2 min to pee and look in my living room at like 15 people asleep all around me...then i went back to sleep... When i awoke again, at 1pm, everyone was gone...
Damn...that was one hellacious party...
I hope you all enjoyed it... Ill never have another one...
Im sure i have forgotten soooo many important details.... comment if you remember anything... and also I wanna hear everybodies favorite memory of last night...ASAP...
Love Always, Rachael Lynn Knight
current mood: enthralled
current music: The music of the memories from last night....