(Untitled)

[nycjessa]

My speech for Speech Class tomorrow... for Erica and anyone else who wants to read it. It's from an article from the current issue of Rolling Stone.
FEEL FREE TO EDIT, I need all the help I can get, haha.

Comments

[musicalhysteria]

and many of them are retiring in droves.
repetitive ... take out the many?

The US is devoting almost $300 million dollars to incentives for new recruits, nearly as much as they contribute to international tsunami relief.
overall the US ... (to tie it together with the past statements) & contributeD.

However, experts say that drafting personnel with special skills misses the larger point, which is that the military is lacking manpower in general.
use BUT instead of HOWEVER.

...with a new ad campaign entitled "Taking It to the Streets," featuring a pimped out bright yellow Hummer and basketball exhibition.
maybe say something other than 'pimped out' lol.

In the end, it may simply come down to math. Bush has already told America's soldiers that "much more will be asked of you" in his second term and has also openly threatened war with Iran. Another war would push the all-volunteer force to its breaking point. So pack your bags and get ready to go, because the impossibility of a draft is apparently very possible.
1. you mention it maybe coming down to math in the end, but don't really mention any actual numbers after that, only before.
2. "the impossibility of a draft is apparently very possible" means that it's possible that the draft will be impossible ... which is not what i think you're trying to say?

otherwise, very good. you explained things clearly and i was able to follow along :)