musesandlyrics | 4.16. Monsters vs. Aliens quote
4.16. "I may not have a brain, but I have an idea."
Monsters vs Aliens
Co-written with lovesguinness
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS, and THIS]
Vee was still on the verge of panic after getting Ronnie's message regarding Matt. No amount of online chat with the older detective had helped to calm her down. She was going to need her partner, not Matt's. She had no idea if he had company, she didn't particularly care. She just knew she had to talk to him. Maybe get him to drive her to the airport because her hands were shaking, and she could barely hold it together in the cab over to his apartment.
She'd booked a flight, and she knew she was crazy. She knew he'd tell her that again, and again, too. She knew he'd think she was officially nuts, but he wasn't a total bastard. He'd help her because she asked. They had keys to each other's apartments, and she used hers now to let herself in. Noises were coming from the bedroom, and Vee slammed the door shut behind her loudly. She made her way to his room, and leaned against the edge of the door as she watched U and a couple of twins go at it for a moment.
He really was one hot Irishman, but he wasn't hers. No matter what Ronnie said about getting to know Matt, Vee just knew deep down in her gut that Matt was her Irishman. And he was in hospital. It could be apendicitis. It could be anything. He was having surgery right now, and Vee didn't have a fucking clue if he'd be alright. Her head tilted as she watched a particularly interesting manouver on Euan's part, and managed a smirk when he locked gazes with her. "Hey there, sweetie. You know, I realised I said I'd be taking the kids to their grandparents so we could have some fun, but I didn't realise this was what you had in mind. I haven't even waxed my legs."
Euan knew what her tactic was, and it was good. He'd give her that. Not good enough, though. He had made a concerted effort to tell his twin fucks that he was infertile but had a condom fetish. It had riled them up even more because they thought he was unique. As it was, though, he was getting bored of them. Had been getting bored of them for about a week now, and he was about ready to give them the flick. Right after he came, though. "Just a minute, honey love of my life," he drawled, flipping one of the twins over and taking her roughly from behind. In a few forceful thrusts, he came heavily with a deep grunt and then just pulled out, pushing up off the bed and streaking his fingers through his damp hair. "Catch you next time, girls," he told them and went over to Vee, not even bothering to pull any clothes on.
"What?" he said expectantly, eyebrows raising as he closed the bedroom door behind himself so the Paris Hilton clones wouldn't hear anything. He scratched his balls lethargically and yawned. "I thought you were supposed to be at work."
Vee had to give it to him, she really did. He hadn't faltered a bit, and still managed to get what he wanted despite her interruption. She scrunched her nose up though as one of the twins' fake boobs decided to wink at her. It wasn't like she hadn't seen Euan naked before so even when he came up to her, she didn't bat an eyelid. And if Matt wasn't the thing foremost on her mind right now, she was sure she would have taken advantage. But things had changed, and condom or not - she had no idea where those twins had been. Any twins engaging in sexual activity together were not the smartest tools in the shed.
"I was at work. Something changed. Matt's in hospital, and I've booked a flight to London. You can get the straightjacket after you drop me off at the airport." Vee glanced back at the bedroom, but the clones were pushed out of her mind as she met Euan's gaze again. "I need your help. Please."
Euan's scratching stopped and he gave her a look that could only say one thing: what the fuck? He studied her face for a few moments, trying to figure out if she was kidding or not. "Bullshit. He's not in hospital. You've really just gone completely mental and constructed this elaborate cover story to get back to London for another fuck without Chief coming down on you like a tonne of bricks. No fucking way are you pissing off and leaving me with all your work again. The international booty call shit has gone far enough, don't you think?" he scoffed, shaking his head and moving over to his kitchen. He took a carton of orange juice out and started to drink directly from it.
Vee sighed, and pulled some folded sheets of paper from her back pocket. It was the chat with Ronnie. All there and in black and white. Well, at lest the first couple exhanges. She wasn't letting U read everything. "It's not bullshit. This isn't about sex, U. This is about being there for Matt because he's getting cut open and operated on. I can't... I can't just ignore this. He means something to me, okay? I know I'm crazy. I'm working on my long service, but it's not quick enough. The Chief can come down on me all he wants. I'll deal with it. And if you don't want to deal with the work, then just come with me. See for yourself."
Euan shook his head. "Fuck that. I'm not coming with you. I have a job to do, cases I'm working on. Not all of us are an unreliable part of the team," he said with a snort. He skimmed over the pages and then handed them back to her. "Even the old dude thinks you're mental. The bloke has appendicitis, not a fucking open heart bypass. Vee, you're nuts! Nothing can come of this, he lives in another friggen country! He'll get some hot nurse ready to fawn over him and give him fluids and sponge baths, then he'll be back at work in a couple of weeks. Are you really risking your job for some internet booty fuck?"
Vee dropped down on one of his kitchen stools. How did she get Euan to understand? He didn't believe in commitment. He didn't believe in relationships. He didn't believe in much past his job, and sex. She rest her head in her hands, and could feel tears start to build up. She had no idea where they were even coming from other than frustration at being here, and not there with Matt. That's all she wanted. All she could think about. Getting back to Matt. "Yes," she said quietly.
Euan just huffed out a breath of annoyance, rolling his eyes. The juice was shoved back into the fridge and he closed the door. He shook his head, not even sure he had words to offer straight away. He rested his hands on the edge of his sink, his eyes narrowed a little as he looked out over the roofs of the neighbouring apartment blocks. He couldn't believe how stupid she was being. Or how much mess she was potentially about to land herself in. If she up and left now, it was probably a fifty-fifty chance she would even keep her job. It clearly meant very little to her, and by default he took that to mean being his partner meant very little to her. "Fine," he mumbled. "Whatever. I'll just get dressed."
"U," she started, still not sure how she was supposed to finish the sentence. There were so many options. "U, I love you. You know that, right? This isn't about me and you. And don't take that to mean you're not part of my decisions. You are." She hadn't been his partner this long without knowing some of where his mind went. Despite his currently unclothed state she moved to hug him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. If she lived in England there was no way she could do it without him. "You're still my best friend. You're still my partner in all the ways that count. And you still smell like fucking eau d'skank." She pulled back a little as she stuck her tongue out. "You're still an Irish citizen, aren't you?"
"Well, I don't see you offering to fuck me," Euan threw back bitterly before he could stop himself. He glanced back at her. He couldn't help part of him being angry at her. He really did think she was being stupid and making piss-poor risky decisions. There hadn't been any evidence in anything she said either that indicated the bloke wanted her for anything permanent, either. If he was smart, this distance thing would be waving a big fucking red flag right now. "I am. And I know what you're thinking. Forget it. I love you, but I'm not throwing my life away for your lust-crazed booty call nutty whims. My home is here. I stay here, whether you want to run away and be a housewife in England or not."
"Hey, I did! You said you wouldn't fuck me after Matt. You've only got yourself to blame," she hissed back. The apartment door slammed, and she assumed that meant the slutty twins were gone. Good riddance. "I'm not going to be a fucking housewife. Screw that. I know I can't be a cop, either. I just... I need to know if it is something worth changing my life for. That's all. I can't do that when there's distance between us. And I need to know you're my friend even when I'm full of lust-crazed booty call nutty whims."
Euan shot her another look. "You think I would want to fuck you when you would be thinking about him the whole time? No-fucking-thanks. I don't come second to anyone." He never had, and he never would. The minute it looked like it was going to happen, he was out the door without looking back. "How do you even know him, V? Don't tell me you do. There is no way you know him after a few days of fucking and some random conversations on the internet. You're putting your job on the line and the bloke could be a right arsehole. He could be just sweetalking you to get in your lacy knickers. And you're putting out, why would he? Fuck, I wouldn't say no if a chick that looked like you offered to fly around the world on her pay check for a bit of a roll in the sack. I wouldn't even need to waste my vacation leave. Perfect scenario. And now you're offering to do it again. Don't you think at least a phone call to the hospital would be advisable? How do you even know this old dude is his partner? You gotta stop for just a minute and think, Vee. You're going mental. You're gonna get hurt if you don't map out your moves first. Check your facts. Have you forgotten how to be a detective?"
"I did call the hospital. He was still in surgery, but they couldn't tell me anything because I wasn't a family memeber. NYPD badge numbers mean jackshit over there. I haven't totally forgotten how to be a detective. And it's not... U, haven't you just ever wanted something bad enough you'd do anything? Like, okay, like that leather jacket you got last year. You had it on for five seconds and you were creaming your pants and waxing lyrical because you said it was right, and perfect, and you. You've warn it every fucking day since. You even refused to take it off once while we were fucking." Vee rubbed her hand against her forehead. "Maybe I am making a mistake, but I think it's just one I have to make. I'll hate myself if I don't try, Euan."
"I wouldn't have ruined my life and risked my job over a leather jacket," Euan said skeptically, shaking his head again. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll take you to the airport, but I'm not agreeing with anything you're doing, and I'm not going to believe this hearts and flowers airy fairy soul mate bullshit you're feeding me. One of us has to stay living in reality. I've become fond of my pay check and not being broke."
Vee held her hands in front of her, palms facing outwards. "That's more than I could have asked for. Thank you. And believe me, I wish I wasn't losing the plot, but I am. I'm just trying to work it out."
Euan shook his head again and veered off in the direction of the bedroom. He flipped her off over his shoulder. "I'm so going out with Ronan to get drunk tonight, and he's paying. He's rich enough. No ringing me in the morning, either. I'm going to be hungover and homicidal," he warned her. Bloody Irish bastard. Typical he lands in hospital and makes Euan's life all complicated. If he got a fucking piece of shit partner, Vee was going to get hours of picture messages of anything extremely gross Euan could find.
Words: 2226
mattdevlin and forensicated referenced with permission.
Monsters vs Aliens
Co-written with lovesguinness
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS, and THIS]
Vee was still on the verge of panic after getting Ronnie's message regarding Matt. No amount of online chat with the older detective had helped to calm her down. She was going to need her partner, not Matt's. She had no idea if he had company, she didn't particularly care. She just knew she had to talk to him. Maybe get him to drive her to the airport because her hands were shaking, and she could barely hold it together in the cab over to his apartment.
She'd booked a flight, and she knew she was crazy. She knew he'd tell her that again, and again, too. She knew he'd think she was officially nuts, but he wasn't a total bastard. He'd help her because she asked. They had keys to each other's apartments, and she used hers now to let herself in. Noises were coming from the bedroom, and Vee slammed the door shut behind her loudly. She made her way to his room, and leaned against the edge of the door as she watched U and a couple of twins go at it for a moment.
He really was one hot Irishman, but he wasn't hers. No matter what Ronnie said about getting to know Matt, Vee just knew deep down in her gut that Matt was her Irishman. And he was in hospital. It could be apendicitis. It could be anything. He was having surgery right now, and Vee didn't have a fucking clue if he'd be alright. Her head tilted as she watched a particularly interesting manouver on Euan's part, and managed a smirk when he locked gazes with her. "Hey there, sweetie. You know, I realised I said I'd be taking the kids to their grandparents so we could have some fun, but I didn't realise this was what you had in mind. I haven't even waxed my legs."
Euan knew what her tactic was, and it was good. He'd give her that. Not good enough, though. He had made a concerted effort to tell his twin fucks that he was infertile but had a condom fetish. It had riled them up even more because they thought he was unique. As it was, though, he was getting bored of them. Had been getting bored of them for about a week now, and he was about ready to give them the flick. Right after he came, though. "Just a minute, honey love of my life," he drawled, flipping one of the twins over and taking her roughly from behind. In a few forceful thrusts, he came heavily with a deep grunt and then just pulled out, pushing up off the bed and streaking his fingers through his damp hair. "Catch you next time, girls," he told them and went over to Vee, not even bothering to pull any clothes on.
"What?" he said expectantly, eyebrows raising as he closed the bedroom door behind himself so the Paris Hilton clones wouldn't hear anything. He scratched his balls lethargically and yawned. "I thought you were supposed to be at work."
Vee had to give it to him, she really did. He hadn't faltered a bit, and still managed to get what he wanted despite her interruption. She scrunched her nose up though as one of the twins' fake boobs decided to wink at her. It wasn't like she hadn't seen Euan naked before so even when he came up to her, she didn't bat an eyelid. And if Matt wasn't the thing foremost on her mind right now, she was sure she would have taken advantage. But things had changed, and condom or not - she had no idea where those twins had been. Any twins engaging in sexual activity together were not the smartest tools in the shed.
"I was at work. Something changed. Matt's in hospital, and I've booked a flight to London. You can get the straightjacket after you drop me off at the airport." Vee glanced back at the bedroom, but the clones were pushed out of her mind as she met Euan's gaze again. "I need your help. Please."
Euan's scratching stopped and he gave her a look that could only say one thing: what the fuck? He studied her face for a few moments, trying to figure out if she was kidding or not. "Bullshit. He's not in hospital. You've really just gone completely mental and constructed this elaborate cover story to get back to London for another fuck without Chief coming down on you like a tonne of bricks. No fucking way are you pissing off and leaving me with all your work again. The international booty call shit has gone far enough, don't you think?" he scoffed, shaking his head and moving over to his kitchen. He took a carton of orange juice out and started to drink directly from it.
Vee sighed, and pulled some folded sheets of paper from her back pocket. It was the chat with Ronnie. All there and in black and white. Well, at lest the first couple exhanges. She wasn't letting U read everything. "It's not bullshit. This isn't about sex, U. This is about being there for Matt because he's getting cut open and operated on. I can't... I can't just ignore this. He means something to me, okay? I know I'm crazy. I'm working on my long service, but it's not quick enough. The Chief can come down on me all he wants. I'll deal with it. And if you don't want to deal with the work, then just come with me. See for yourself."
Euan shook his head. "Fuck that. I'm not coming with you. I have a job to do, cases I'm working on. Not all of us are an unreliable part of the team," he said with a snort. He skimmed over the pages and then handed them back to her. "Even the old dude thinks you're mental. The bloke has appendicitis, not a fucking open heart bypass. Vee, you're nuts! Nothing can come of this, he lives in another friggen country! He'll get some hot nurse ready to fawn over him and give him fluids and sponge baths, then he'll be back at work in a couple of weeks. Are you really risking your job for some internet booty fuck?"
Vee dropped down on one of his kitchen stools. How did she get Euan to understand? He didn't believe in commitment. He didn't believe in relationships. He didn't believe in much past his job, and sex. She rest her head in her hands, and could feel tears start to build up. She had no idea where they were even coming from other than frustration at being here, and not there with Matt. That's all she wanted. All she could think about. Getting back to Matt. "Yes," she said quietly.
Euan just huffed out a breath of annoyance, rolling his eyes. The juice was shoved back into the fridge and he closed the door. He shook his head, not even sure he had words to offer straight away. He rested his hands on the edge of his sink, his eyes narrowed a little as he looked out over the roofs of the neighbouring apartment blocks. He couldn't believe how stupid she was being. Or how much mess she was potentially about to land herself in. If she up and left now, it was probably a fifty-fifty chance she would even keep her job. It clearly meant very little to her, and by default he took that to mean being his partner meant very little to her. "Fine," he mumbled. "Whatever. I'll just get dressed."
"U," she started, still not sure how she was supposed to finish the sentence. There were so many options. "U, I love you. You know that, right? This isn't about me and you. And don't take that to mean you're not part of my decisions. You are." She hadn't been his partner this long without knowing some of where his mind went. Despite his currently unclothed state she moved to hug him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. If she lived in England there was no way she could do it without him. "You're still my best friend. You're still my partner in all the ways that count. And you still smell like fucking eau d'skank." She pulled back a little as she stuck her tongue out. "You're still an Irish citizen, aren't you?"
"Well, I don't see you offering to fuck me," Euan threw back bitterly before he could stop himself. He glanced back at her. He couldn't help part of him being angry at her. He really did think she was being stupid and making piss-poor risky decisions. There hadn't been any evidence in anything she said either that indicated the bloke wanted her for anything permanent, either. If he was smart, this distance thing would be waving a big fucking red flag right now. "I am. And I know what you're thinking. Forget it. I love you, but I'm not throwing my life away for your lust-crazed booty call nutty whims. My home is here. I stay here, whether you want to run away and be a housewife in England or not."
"Hey, I did! You said you wouldn't fuck me after Matt. You've only got yourself to blame," she hissed back. The apartment door slammed, and she assumed that meant the slutty twins were gone. Good riddance. "I'm not going to be a fucking housewife. Screw that. I know I can't be a cop, either. I just... I need to know if it is something worth changing my life for. That's all. I can't do that when there's distance between us. And I need to know you're my friend even when I'm full of lust-crazed booty call nutty whims."
Euan shot her another look. "You think I would want to fuck you when you would be thinking about him the whole time? No-fucking-thanks. I don't come second to anyone." He never had, and he never would. The minute it looked like it was going to happen, he was out the door without looking back. "How do you even know him, V? Don't tell me you do. There is no way you know him after a few days of fucking and some random conversations on the internet. You're putting your job on the line and the bloke could be a right arsehole. He could be just sweetalking you to get in your lacy knickers. And you're putting out, why would he? Fuck, I wouldn't say no if a chick that looked like you offered to fly around the world on her pay check for a bit of a roll in the sack. I wouldn't even need to waste my vacation leave. Perfect scenario. And now you're offering to do it again. Don't you think at least a phone call to the hospital would be advisable? How do you even know this old dude is his partner? You gotta stop for just a minute and think, Vee. You're going mental. You're gonna get hurt if you don't map out your moves first. Check your facts. Have you forgotten how to be a detective?"
"I did call the hospital. He was still in surgery, but they couldn't tell me anything because I wasn't a family memeber. NYPD badge numbers mean jackshit over there. I haven't totally forgotten how to be a detective. And it's not... U, haven't you just ever wanted something bad enough you'd do anything? Like, okay, like that leather jacket you got last year. You had it on for five seconds and you were creaming your pants and waxing lyrical because you said it was right, and perfect, and you. You've warn it every fucking day since. You even refused to take it off once while we were fucking." Vee rubbed her hand against her forehead. "Maybe I am making a mistake, but I think it's just one I have to make. I'll hate myself if I don't try, Euan."
"I wouldn't have ruined my life and risked my job over a leather jacket," Euan said skeptically, shaking his head again. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll take you to the airport, but I'm not agreeing with anything you're doing, and I'm not going to believe this hearts and flowers airy fairy soul mate bullshit you're feeding me. One of us has to stay living in reality. I've become fond of my pay check and not being broke."
Vee held her hands in front of her, palms facing outwards. "That's more than I could have asked for. Thank you. And believe me, I wish I wasn't losing the plot, but I am. I'm just trying to work it out."
Euan shook his head again and veered off in the direction of the bedroom. He flipped her off over his shoulder. "I'm so going out with Ronan to get drunk tonight, and he's paying. He's rich enough. No ringing me in the morning, either. I'm going to be hungover and homicidal," he warned her. Bloody Irish bastard. Typical he lands in hospital and makes Euan's life all complicated. If he got a fucking piece of shit partner, Vee was going to get hours of picture messages of anything extremely gross Euan could find.
Words: 2226
mattdevlin and forensicated referenced with permission.