musesandlyrics | 4.1. Beyonce quote
Co-written with mattdevlin
Matt quickly swallowed down the last couple of mouthfuls of his tepid coffee as he closed over the file of telephone numbers he was trawling through. It was another needle in a haystack job, and it could wait for a little while. He dug the car keys out of his drawer and stood up, shoving them in his pocket. He didn't think Vee would mind getting taken to the airport in one of the unmarked cop cars. It wasn't like she wouldn't be used to it. "I'm heading out for a couple of hours, Ron. I'll be back," he promised, mid-journey to the coat rack. It might not be raining outside, but it was a typical freezing London evening as they veered closer to winter.
Ronnie looked up from his own pile of files, frowning at Matt over the top of his glasses and then took them off. "Out where?" he asked. "You found something, Matty? What have you found?"
Matt shook his head. "Nothing. I'm still looking, and I'll keep looking when I get back. I've just got a... thing. I won't be long, alright? Call me if anything comes up."
Ronnie's eyebrow quirked at the statement. "Sure it's not something of yours coming up, sunshine?" he teased, smirking to himself as he picked up his own coffee mug. "You hired some company?"
Matt had the decency to look scandalised. "What? No! Bloody hell," he complained. He was aware that if he kept trying to pull these weird acts, Ronnie was going to get continuously suspicious, and if Ronnie got continuously suspicious, others would too. Sure, Matt had some odd detective techniques when he needed to. He was hardly innocent in getting what he needed during investigations, but this wasn't an investigation and since Vee had arrived in town, Matt knew he must be acting strangely. "I've got a date." It wasn't really a lie.
This time, Ronnie's eyebrows shot up with interest. "And you're coming back here in a couple of hours? Have I taught you nothing? Not very much positive optimism there, Matty. When did you stop expecting dates to end with sex?" He stood up and stretched the tired muscles in his back. "Or expecting them to end in really bad sex, if you look at it from another angle. You aren't having downstairs issues, are you?"
Matt rolled his eyes and roughly yanked his scarf around his neck. "It's a quick date, that's all. I never expect any date to end in sex. Then if they do, it's a pleasant surprise, isn't it?" He held his phone up, reminding his partner that he had it and then left before Ronnie could quiz him further. Maybe it was time to reveal to Ronnie what was going on with Vee. Maybe, by the time she stepped on that plane tonight, he would need to.
* * * * *
Now stuck in traffic in-bound to Heathrow Airport, Matt softly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of the sleek car before reaching to adjust the heating. It felt like it had dropped a few degrees just between Vee's hotel and here. It almost felt like it was going to snow, but the forecast said it wasn't quite going to reach that just yet. The radio was playing softly in the background, a Nineties marathon. A lot of the songs Matt felt should have never made it to number one, but gain popularity by the likes of nightclubs and the Ministry of Sound in Ibiza. Ibiza had never been Matt's sort of scene, and the one time he went, he found himself wanting to bust all the underage boozers, only it hadn't been his jurisdiction, of course. His stomach was growling a little, letting him know it was dinner time and slightly abused on account of the fact he skipped lunch in favour of a nearly-stale croissant and a can of coke stuffed down his throat during a break in an interrogation with this smug little bastard who didn't want to reveal anything. He would have to pick up some Chinese on the way back to the station. He would probably end up pulling an all-nighter anyway. He didn't expect saying goodbye to Vee was going to be easy, and throwing himself into his work would be his comfort... as usual. It was ironic that throwing himself into his work was the exact reason he ended up accepting a 'booty call' off someone who lived in another country.
"Got your passport and tickets?" he asked her, throwing her a smile before his eyes were back on the traffic as they approached the entry to Heathrow. "We're definitely Terminal Four, right? This place is like a city all on it's own, which each terminal like a small suburb. We get the wrong one and you'll be so delayed you'll miss your flight. Can't see your boss or partner being impressed by that."
"Hm?" Vee blinked herself back into the present, and turned her head to look at Matt's profile. She'd been lost in thought, trying to work out how she was supposed to let this alleged booty call end. The pendant Matt had given her was already around her neck and nestled safely against the hollow of her throat. She just wished she'd thought to get him something, but it was a long time between romantic gestures for Virginia Stewart. Sex she could do. Booty calls she could do. But she was caught offguard by Matt Devlin and everything she'd felt since meeting him in person.
After a moment she gave a nod, the question finally forcing itself into her brain. She had been gripping her passport and tickets tightly since she'd got in the car, trying to give herself a reminder that she was leaving. That whatever they had, or might have, didn't have a future. Separate countries. Separate jobs. Separate lives. "Yeah, got them. And yes, definitely Terminal Four. I vaguely remember the insanity from when I got here. I think I've mostly blocked it out. Your airport is fucking insane. My partner already seems to be doubting my return."
Matt gave a small nod in agreement. "It's not for the faint-hearted, for sure. Ironically, it's an airport that gets some of the highest traffic in the world. Everyone wants to fly through London." He didn't want this to become awkward, but he really wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to make her feel better. He was trying, figuring small talk would be the easy option but small talk was a bit of a raw deal after what they had spent the last few days doing together. It was hard to act like nothing in particular really passed between them beyond sex. He had enjoyed her company, and it had been awhile since he felt this comfortable with someone in this capacity. "Are you okay?" he finally asked her softly as he pulled up at some lights which were jammed with traffic trying to get in and out of the airport.
"No," Vee responded, dropping her gaze to her lap. She reached out to rest her hand on his thigh. She needed something to still reassure her that he was there. God only knew why. It would be easier if she just suddenly woke up and realised she'd imagined everything of the last few days. Her tongue slipped out to dampen her lips, and Vee sighed. "There's a lot I want to say, but I'm not sure if I should. I don't want to fuck this up by saying things that maybe you're not feeling too, or by talking about the what ifs because we both know the reality of the situation. And I don't want to spend our last couple of hours together being all fucking depressing."
Matt let out a slow breath and then cleared his throat. He had lost count of how many times Ronnie accused him of playing his hand close to his chest when it came to dating. It wasn't actually a fact Matt needed reminding of. "I'm pretty sure they charge like a wounded bull for excess baggage, especially this sort," he joked and glanced at her. "Wouldn't it be better to offloaded it before you board? I just wish I could promise I'll have some sort of healthy advice to offer you in return but... we both know you can't build a case on what ifs."
Vee laughed at his joke, appreciating the fact that Matt was trying to make the situation easier on both of them. Before the lights changed Vee managed to lean over and brush a kiss against the corner of his mouth. She turned in her seat to face him better, the passport and tickets still clenched in her hand. "Looks like I'll be paying through the nose, then. Arseholes." She gave him another smile, proud of herself for sticking with the Brit-speak. "And no, you can't build a case like that. Not sure you can build a case with an ocean between us either. I like you, Matt. More than I ever thought possible and it's only been a few days. There's a small part of me that wants you to ask me to stay because I know that I won't be able to say no. But that's unfair to you, especially if things suddenly took a dive south. Not that I think they will, but you know what I mean, don't you? Either way, I don't want you to be a regret. And right now you're not. You're the complete opposite. I don't fucking regret coming here. Not one single moment. It's the best thing I've done for myself in years. You're amazing, Matt. It's just sad no other woman's ever appreciated you. Having said that, I think I might tear any woman's eyeballs out who decides to start appreciating you now."
Matt edged his way into the queue for the short stay parking. It was probably going to cost a bomb, but he didn't care. He couldn't just drop her off and piss off. So far, so good, too. Ronnie hadn't called him with any major changes in their case, so he had the time. It was difficult to keep his eyes on the busy road and talk to her, but he was doing his best. With another brief glance at her before his eyes were back on the car in front, he sighed softly. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I never meant for this to be a complication for you. We were both at fault at a base level, but that doesn't mean I regret it. Not at all. The last few days have been great, and I've repeatedly found myself cursing quietly that you're not British. Reality bites, though. I've worked really hard to get up to the rank I'm at, and getting Green Cards, let alone employment in America would be near impossible for me without starting as a rookie. I'm too old for that, and I love my home and my job." It was his turn to wet his lips. "It would have to be much the same for you. I can't ask you to stay, Vee. You'll end up hating me for it."
"I hate myself more for leaving," Vee admitted with a rough exhalation of breath. For the first time in a long time she could feel tears pricking at the backs of her eyes, and Vee knew the tough shell she'd built up for herself to deal with life in the NYPD was crack because of one man. She didn't say anything else for a long moment, not sure she could without bursting into tears. She pushed her foot against the car floor, trying to find the strength to do this without crumpling into a heap. "You're not a complication. You're the easiest fucking thing I've ever had the pleasure of dealing with. The complication comes in the whole different countries bullshit. And I don't know what to do. I feel like we're breaking up, and we were never even dating. I feel like the idea of going home and fucking someone else nauseating."
"Vee," Matt began but was cut off when a text message came through his phone that was sitting beside him hooked up to the charger. It was Ronnie, apparently, but it wasn't a phone call. It would just be more quizzing on the date, but wanting a running status report. Matt ignored it. "You don't know me, and I don't know you. We weren't ever going to know each other in just a few days. It sucks, it does. The lack of a chance to get to know more. But we knew that. I really wish I could offer you more, but I'm not a very impulsive person when it comes to my personal life. I usually save that for the job and then end up having Ronnie tell me to go out to get a cup of tea or some fresh air. I wish it was just a fact of different countries, but it's not that. It's our jobs. We're detectives, and we know how it rolls. We had some fun, and I'm really glad I got to meet you face-to-face. I do really wish it could be different," he told her, resting his hand over hers and giving it a squeeze.
"I hate that you're so logical." Vee cleared her throat, and flipped her hand over so their fingers were joined. If she had her way they'd be saying goodbye naked, and joined at the hips right up until the point she had to board. "Is this really it, though? Are we allowed to keep in touch? What about phone calls? I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. Every other booty call is just a one-night thing and it's done before the sheets are dried. We stayed in the sheets and made them messy all over again. And I want to know you. There isn't a feeling like this should be the end, and I hate it. I hate that this isn't cut and dried."
Matt shook his head. "No, it's not it. We can still be friends, right? We managed before just fine. I guess this is just one of those shit happens moments. And I do owe you an apology for another one of those... being Ronnie," he added wryly, shaking his head. "He's just... dry. To the point, especially with me. If he knew you, he wouldn't have said any of that. I guess I voiced a few uncertainties to him after I first met you. I was skeptical about the online thing."
Vee smirked a little, giving his hand a squeeze. "Who can blame you? I've never put much faith in it. You were my first and only success story. I think I'll be happy to leave it at that. I don't need to go through this again." Vee waited until Matt had found a park before she moved again, her restlessness getting the better of her. This time though she moved closer to him, careful not to hurt herself on the gear stick. She slid her fingers up into his hair, playing with it like she had a couple of nights ago before she kissed him deeply, trying to put as much into it as she could. This would be one of their last kisses. She wanted it to count. "Friends... Yeah, we can be friends. And you don't have to apologise for anything. I wouldn't actually change a single thing. Part of having you is taking your partner, isn't it? Just like part of having me is taking U. Which reminds me, what unit do you actually work for?"
Matt took his badge from his pocket, flipping it open and handing it to her. "Major Investigations Unit," he told her with a smile. He laughed. "I probably should have mentioned that a lot sooner, right? It explains that I'm not just a workaholic obsessed with his job. I do actually have a full plate load. Our cases are never just open and shut. Cop killers, high profile suspects, high profile victims, kids, old unsolved cases, mass victims. You name it. London has a lot of skeletons in its closet, and that's not always proverbial. I wouldn't ever get to a position like this if I moved to America. It would take me years. I guess everything is just against us."
"I never once asked you to be the one to move," Vee pointed out with an arch of her eyebrow. "I think I said I was the one who didn't want to leave. How am I supposed to give up fish and chips and dreary London weather? It wouldn't be the same in America. You'd probably wind up hating it." She rubbed her thumb against his shield and stared at it. "Fuck everything... This is bullshit. Makes me wonder what I did in this life or a previous one to find what I always wanted isn't something I can ever fucking have." She handed him his badge back, and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'll just have to look forward to emails and phone calls. I'll get to know you yet, Irish."
Matt laughed softly and pocketed his badge again. "Why don't you say how you really feel, love?" he teased, giving her a small nudge. "It's not so bad. We are in the age of the internet. We can bitch to each other about work, sticking to the lines of confidentiality, of course. Your partner will be glad to have you back and you'll be welcomed by shitloads of paper work. How could life get any better? And we still have a couple of hours until you board, so enough time for a coffee and whatever else you can do in an aiport without getting arr-" He was cut off when his phone started to ring down beside him. "Ah, shit!" he cursed, looking down to see Ronnie's name on the caller ID.
He hit the answer button, pressing his lips together. "Yeah?" he answered and threaded his fingers through his hair as he heard Ronnie reel off some abrupt case developments that meant one thing. He nodded. "Yeah, okay. Meet you there." The call was ended with an apologetic look shot in Vee's direction. "I have to go. Body count just increased. I'm so sorry."
"Why, did you do it?" Vee asked as she tilted her head. She gave him a sad smile before she made the final move to be perched on his lap. The passport was roughly shoved into her back pocket so she could take his face between her hands and kiss him again, this time with urgency. "You can't help being who you are, or what you do. And the truth is that I could easily love you for it. But we're friends now. Thanks for the last few days, and the fucking awesome sex. Now go catch a killer. Give Ronnie my love," she added with a grin. Then she was back in her own seat, looking over Matt as if to commit every detail of him to memory before reaching for the small overnight bag she'd packed. "Goodbye, Matt Devlin."
Matt wanted to turf the phone out the window and pretend he ever got the phone call. His conscience wouldn't let him, and that was the crux of their whole matter. He rested his head back against the seat, tugging a little at the chain around his neck as he shook his head. He was annoyed, probably going so far as to say he was pissed off. All he wanted was a couple of hours to say goodbye properly to Vee, and now some bastard had to go and top someone again on his watch. Wasn't two bodies already enough? It was taking all his effort not to swear and curse profusely, which would just show her a side of him she hadn't been privy to yet. Maybe not what she should see right before he had to bugger off without the goodbye she deserved. He also had to stop himself not apologising over and over again like a dick. He leaned in and gave her another urgent kiss, his hand holding the back of her head. "Cheers, love," he told her when the kiss broke, giving her a sweet smile and then pressing his lips together regretfully. "No drinking on the plane. You'll get blood clots."
"Yes, sir," Vee murmured, tempted to give him a salute. Instead she kissed him again, her lips still wired to be attracted to his while in reaching distance. "I'm still going to find a way to give you a kiss in the rain. Even if it takes a few years." Another quick kiss and Vee had to pull away with a frustrated growl. It wasn't enough. She wanted those last couple hours, and now she had to sit around the fucking airport and contemplate her navel. She could at least drink before going on the plane, couldn't she? Just not too much. "Take care, baby. I'll let you know I've touched down safely on the other side. Let me know how the case goes."
Vee opened the passenger door, the cool London air doing enough to wake her into action so she could get out of the car without trying to delay it anymore. She blew Matt a kiss before giving him a small wave and shutting the door behind her. She officially hated Fate's stupid ass, and wanted to kick it repeatedly before running it over and kicking it some more.
Matt tightened his grip on the steering wheel and leaned down so he could wave to her. He really hoped no one pissed him off tonight, because he wasn't going to be in a good mood. He backed out of the parking space he hadn't occupied nearly long enough, but would already get charged a tenner just for entering the car park. His phone was buzzing again and he paused just long enough to plug his hands-free in and glance back up to where Vee was standing. When he smiled at her this time, it was sad, regretful and then he had to drive away. He didn't look back, though. He knew if he did, he would probably end up making a huge mistake he'd regret.
Ronnie is an NPC. Not binding on any Ronnie muses.
Word Count | 3743
Matt quickly swallowed down the last couple of mouthfuls of his tepid coffee as he closed over the file of telephone numbers he was trawling through. It was another needle in a haystack job, and it could wait for a little while. He dug the car keys out of his drawer and stood up, shoving them in his pocket. He didn't think Vee would mind getting taken to the airport in one of the unmarked cop cars. It wasn't like she wouldn't be used to it. "I'm heading out for a couple of hours, Ron. I'll be back," he promised, mid-journey to the coat rack. It might not be raining outside, but it was a typical freezing London evening as they veered closer to winter.
Ronnie looked up from his own pile of files, frowning at Matt over the top of his glasses and then took them off. "Out where?" he asked. "You found something, Matty? What have you found?"
Matt shook his head. "Nothing. I'm still looking, and I'll keep looking when I get back. I've just got a... thing. I won't be long, alright? Call me if anything comes up."
Ronnie's eyebrow quirked at the statement. "Sure it's not something of yours coming up, sunshine?" he teased, smirking to himself as he picked up his own coffee mug. "You hired some company?"
Matt had the decency to look scandalised. "What? No! Bloody hell," he complained. He was aware that if he kept trying to pull these weird acts, Ronnie was going to get continuously suspicious, and if Ronnie got continuously suspicious, others would too. Sure, Matt had some odd detective techniques when he needed to. He was hardly innocent in getting what he needed during investigations, but this wasn't an investigation and since Vee had arrived in town, Matt knew he must be acting strangely. "I've got a date." It wasn't really a lie.
This time, Ronnie's eyebrows shot up with interest. "And you're coming back here in a couple of hours? Have I taught you nothing? Not very much positive optimism there, Matty. When did you stop expecting dates to end with sex?" He stood up and stretched the tired muscles in his back. "Or expecting them to end in really bad sex, if you look at it from another angle. You aren't having downstairs issues, are you?"
Matt rolled his eyes and roughly yanked his scarf around his neck. "It's a quick date, that's all. I never expect any date to end in sex. Then if they do, it's a pleasant surprise, isn't it?" He held his phone up, reminding his partner that he had it and then left before Ronnie could quiz him further. Maybe it was time to reveal to Ronnie what was going on with Vee. Maybe, by the time she stepped on that plane tonight, he would need to.
* * * * *
Now stuck in traffic in-bound to Heathrow Airport, Matt softly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of the sleek car before reaching to adjust the heating. It felt like it had dropped a few degrees just between Vee's hotel and here. It almost felt like it was going to snow, but the forecast said it wasn't quite going to reach that just yet. The radio was playing softly in the background, a Nineties marathon. A lot of the songs Matt felt should have never made it to number one, but gain popularity by the likes of nightclubs and the Ministry of Sound in Ibiza. Ibiza had never been Matt's sort of scene, and the one time he went, he found himself wanting to bust all the underage boozers, only it hadn't been his jurisdiction, of course. His stomach was growling a little, letting him know it was dinner time and slightly abused on account of the fact he skipped lunch in favour of a nearly-stale croissant and a can of coke stuffed down his throat during a break in an interrogation with this smug little bastard who didn't want to reveal anything. He would have to pick up some Chinese on the way back to the station. He would probably end up pulling an all-nighter anyway. He didn't expect saying goodbye to Vee was going to be easy, and throwing himself into his work would be his comfort... as usual. It was ironic that throwing himself into his work was the exact reason he ended up accepting a 'booty call' off someone who lived in another country.
"Got your passport and tickets?" he asked her, throwing her a smile before his eyes were back on the traffic as they approached the entry to Heathrow. "We're definitely Terminal Four, right? This place is like a city all on it's own, which each terminal like a small suburb. We get the wrong one and you'll be so delayed you'll miss your flight. Can't see your boss or partner being impressed by that."
"Hm?" Vee blinked herself back into the present, and turned her head to look at Matt's profile. She'd been lost in thought, trying to work out how she was supposed to let this alleged booty call end. The pendant Matt had given her was already around her neck and nestled safely against the hollow of her throat. She just wished she'd thought to get him something, but it was a long time between romantic gestures for Virginia Stewart. Sex she could do. Booty calls she could do. But she was caught offguard by Matt Devlin and everything she'd felt since meeting him in person.
After a moment she gave a nod, the question finally forcing itself into her brain. She had been gripping her passport and tickets tightly since she'd got in the car, trying to give herself a reminder that she was leaving. That whatever they had, or might have, didn't have a future. Separate countries. Separate jobs. Separate lives. "Yeah, got them. And yes, definitely Terminal Four. I vaguely remember the insanity from when I got here. I think I've mostly blocked it out. Your airport is fucking insane. My partner already seems to be doubting my return."
Matt gave a small nod in agreement. "It's not for the faint-hearted, for sure. Ironically, it's an airport that gets some of the highest traffic in the world. Everyone wants to fly through London." He didn't want this to become awkward, but he really wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to make her feel better. He was trying, figuring small talk would be the easy option but small talk was a bit of a raw deal after what they had spent the last few days doing together. It was hard to act like nothing in particular really passed between them beyond sex. He had enjoyed her company, and it had been awhile since he felt this comfortable with someone in this capacity. "Are you okay?" he finally asked her softly as he pulled up at some lights which were jammed with traffic trying to get in and out of the airport.
"No," Vee responded, dropping her gaze to her lap. She reached out to rest her hand on his thigh. She needed something to still reassure her that he was there. God only knew why. It would be easier if she just suddenly woke up and realised she'd imagined everything of the last few days. Her tongue slipped out to dampen her lips, and Vee sighed. "There's a lot I want to say, but I'm not sure if I should. I don't want to fuck this up by saying things that maybe you're not feeling too, or by talking about the what ifs because we both know the reality of the situation. And I don't want to spend our last couple of hours together being all fucking depressing."
Matt let out a slow breath and then cleared his throat. He had lost count of how many times Ronnie accused him of playing his hand close to his chest when it came to dating. It wasn't actually a fact Matt needed reminding of. "I'm pretty sure they charge like a wounded bull for excess baggage, especially this sort," he joked and glanced at her. "Wouldn't it be better to offloaded it before you board? I just wish I could promise I'll have some sort of healthy advice to offer you in return but... we both know you can't build a case on what ifs."
Vee laughed at his joke, appreciating the fact that Matt was trying to make the situation easier on both of them. Before the lights changed Vee managed to lean over and brush a kiss against the corner of his mouth. She turned in her seat to face him better, the passport and tickets still clenched in her hand. "Looks like I'll be paying through the nose, then. Arseholes." She gave him another smile, proud of herself for sticking with the Brit-speak. "And no, you can't build a case like that. Not sure you can build a case with an ocean between us either. I like you, Matt. More than I ever thought possible and it's only been a few days. There's a small part of me that wants you to ask me to stay because I know that I won't be able to say no. But that's unfair to you, especially if things suddenly took a dive south. Not that I think they will, but you know what I mean, don't you? Either way, I don't want you to be a regret. And right now you're not. You're the complete opposite. I don't fucking regret coming here. Not one single moment. It's the best thing I've done for myself in years. You're amazing, Matt. It's just sad no other woman's ever appreciated you. Having said that, I think I might tear any woman's eyeballs out who decides to start appreciating you now."
Matt edged his way into the queue for the short stay parking. It was probably going to cost a bomb, but he didn't care. He couldn't just drop her off and piss off. So far, so good, too. Ronnie hadn't called him with any major changes in their case, so he had the time. It was difficult to keep his eyes on the busy road and talk to her, but he was doing his best. With another brief glance at her before his eyes were back on the car in front, he sighed softly. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I never meant for this to be a complication for you. We were both at fault at a base level, but that doesn't mean I regret it. Not at all. The last few days have been great, and I've repeatedly found myself cursing quietly that you're not British. Reality bites, though. I've worked really hard to get up to the rank I'm at, and getting Green Cards, let alone employment in America would be near impossible for me without starting as a rookie. I'm too old for that, and I love my home and my job." It was his turn to wet his lips. "It would have to be much the same for you. I can't ask you to stay, Vee. You'll end up hating me for it."
"I hate myself more for leaving," Vee admitted with a rough exhalation of breath. For the first time in a long time she could feel tears pricking at the backs of her eyes, and Vee knew the tough shell she'd built up for herself to deal with life in the NYPD was crack because of one man. She didn't say anything else for a long moment, not sure she could without bursting into tears. She pushed her foot against the car floor, trying to find the strength to do this without crumpling into a heap. "You're not a complication. You're the easiest fucking thing I've ever had the pleasure of dealing with. The complication comes in the whole different countries bullshit. And I don't know what to do. I feel like we're breaking up, and we were never even dating. I feel like the idea of going home and fucking someone else nauseating."
"Vee," Matt began but was cut off when a text message came through his phone that was sitting beside him hooked up to the charger. It was Ronnie, apparently, but it wasn't a phone call. It would just be more quizzing on the date, but wanting a running status report. Matt ignored it. "You don't know me, and I don't know you. We weren't ever going to know each other in just a few days. It sucks, it does. The lack of a chance to get to know more. But we knew that. I really wish I could offer you more, but I'm not a very impulsive person when it comes to my personal life. I usually save that for the job and then end up having Ronnie tell me to go out to get a cup of tea or some fresh air. I wish it was just a fact of different countries, but it's not that. It's our jobs. We're detectives, and we know how it rolls. We had some fun, and I'm really glad I got to meet you face-to-face. I do really wish it could be different," he told her, resting his hand over hers and giving it a squeeze.
"I hate that you're so logical." Vee cleared her throat, and flipped her hand over so their fingers were joined. If she had her way they'd be saying goodbye naked, and joined at the hips right up until the point she had to board. "Is this really it, though? Are we allowed to keep in touch? What about phone calls? I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. Every other booty call is just a one-night thing and it's done before the sheets are dried. We stayed in the sheets and made them messy all over again. And I want to know you. There isn't a feeling like this should be the end, and I hate it. I hate that this isn't cut and dried."
Matt shook his head. "No, it's not it. We can still be friends, right? We managed before just fine. I guess this is just one of those shit happens moments. And I do owe you an apology for another one of those... being Ronnie," he added wryly, shaking his head. "He's just... dry. To the point, especially with me. If he knew you, he wouldn't have said any of that. I guess I voiced a few uncertainties to him after I first met you. I was skeptical about the online thing."
Vee smirked a little, giving his hand a squeeze. "Who can blame you? I've never put much faith in it. You were my first and only success story. I think I'll be happy to leave it at that. I don't need to go through this again." Vee waited until Matt had found a park before she moved again, her restlessness getting the better of her. This time though she moved closer to him, careful not to hurt herself on the gear stick. She slid her fingers up into his hair, playing with it like she had a couple of nights ago before she kissed him deeply, trying to put as much into it as she could. This would be one of their last kisses. She wanted it to count. "Friends... Yeah, we can be friends. And you don't have to apologise for anything. I wouldn't actually change a single thing. Part of having you is taking your partner, isn't it? Just like part of having me is taking U. Which reminds me, what unit do you actually work for?"
Matt took his badge from his pocket, flipping it open and handing it to her. "Major Investigations Unit," he told her with a smile. He laughed. "I probably should have mentioned that a lot sooner, right? It explains that I'm not just a workaholic obsessed with his job. I do actually have a full plate load. Our cases are never just open and shut. Cop killers, high profile suspects, high profile victims, kids, old unsolved cases, mass victims. You name it. London has a lot of skeletons in its closet, and that's not always proverbial. I wouldn't ever get to a position like this if I moved to America. It would take me years. I guess everything is just against us."
"I never once asked you to be the one to move," Vee pointed out with an arch of her eyebrow. "I think I said I was the one who didn't want to leave. How am I supposed to give up fish and chips and dreary London weather? It wouldn't be the same in America. You'd probably wind up hating it." She rubbed her thumb against his shield and stared at it. "Fuck everything... This is bullshit. Makes me wonder what I did in this life or a previous one to find what I always wanted isn't something I can ever fucking have." She handed him his badge back, and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'll just have to look forward to emails and phone calls. I'll get to know you yet, Irish."
Matt laughed softly and pocketed his badge again. "Why don't you say how you really feel, love?" he teased, giving her a small nudge. "It's not so bad. We are in the age of the internet. We can bitch to each other about work, sticking to the lines of confidentiality, of course. Your partner will be glad to have you back and you'll be welcomed by shitloads of paper work. How could life get any better? And we still have a couple of hours until you board, so enough time for a coffee and whatever else you can do in an aiport without getting arr-" He was cut off when his phone started to ring down beside him. "Ah, shit!" he cursed, looking down to see Ronnie's name on the caller ID.
He hit the answer button, pressing his lips together. "Yeah?" he answered and threaded his fingers through his hair as he heard Ronnie reel off some abrupt case developments that meant one thing. He nodded. "Yeah, okay. Meet you there." The call was ended with an apologetic look shot in Vee's direction. "I have to go. Body count just increased. I'm so sorry."
"Why, did you do it?" Vee asked as she tilted her head. She gave him a sad smile before she made the final move to be perched on his lap. The passport was roughly shoved into her back pocket so she could take his face between her hands and kiss him again, this time with urgency. "You can't help being who you are, or what you do. And the truth is that I could easily love you for it. But we're friends now. Thanks for the last few days, and the fucking awesome sex. Now go catch a killer. Give Ronnie my love," she added with a grin. Then she was back in her own seat, looking over Matt as if to commit every detail of him to memory before reaching for the small overnight bag she'd packed. "Goodbye, Matt Devlin."
Matt wanted to turf the phone out the window and pretend he ever got the phone call. His conscience wouldn't let him, and that was the crux of their whole matter. He rested his head back against the seat, tugging a little at the chain around his neck as he shook his head. He was annoyed, probably going so far as to say he was pissed off. All he wanted was a couple of hours to say goodbye properly to Vee, and now some bastard had to go and top someone again on his watch. Wasn't two bodies already enough? It was taking all his effort not to swear and curse profusely, which would just show her a side of him she hadn't been privy to yet. Maybe not what she should see right before he had to bugger off without the goodbye she deserved. He also had to stop himself not apologising over and over again like a dick. He leaned in and gave her another urgent kiss, his hand holding the back of her head. "Cheers, love," he told her when the kiss broke, giving her a sweet smile and then pressing his lips together regretfully. "No drinking on the plane. You'll get blood clots."
"Yes, sir," Vee murmured, tempted to give him a salute. Instead she kissed him again, her lips still wired to be attracted to his while in reaching distance. "I'm still going to find a way to give you a kiss in the rain. Even if it takes a few years." Another quick kiss and Vee had to pull away with a frustrated growl. It wasn't enough. She wanted those last couple hours, and now she had to sit around the fucking airport and contemplate her navel. She could at least drink before going on the plane, couldn't she? Just not too much. "Take care, baby. I'll let you know I've touched down safely on the other side. Let me know how the case goes."
Vee opened the passenger door, the cool London air doing enough to wake her into action so she could get out of the car without trying to delay it anymore. She blew Matt a kiss before giving him a small wave and shutting the door behind her. She officially hated Fate's stupid ass, and wanted to kick it repeatedly before running it over and kicking it some more.
Matt tightened his grip on the steering wheel and leaned down so he could wave to her. He really hoped no one pissed him off tonight, because he wasn't going to be in a good mood. He backed out of the parking space he hadn't occupied nearly long enough, but would already get charged a tenner just for entering the car park. His phone was buzzing again and he paused just long enough to plug his hands-free in and glance back up to where Vee was standing. When he smiled at her this time, it was sad, regretful and then he had to drive away. He didn't look back, though. He knew if he did, he would probably end up making a huge mistake he'd regret.
Ronnie is an NPC. Not binding on any Ronnie muses.
Word Count | 3743