(no subject)
I'm in my bed... at home.
I came home yesterday for father's day, then stuck around today to take my sister for her *facial!* (yeah if you know my sister that is definitely out of left field, but anyway). I need to buy a book at saddleback for my summer school class that started today so I had to stick around to pick that up tomorrow.
I'm in my bed.
My walls are covered with pictures. Pictures that haven't changed since Isaac Steuart was born. (he's three now). The pictures right across from my are from GOC. Sean, Becki, Sarah, Ben and Me. We were all so young.
My blinds are right next to my bed. There's a street light relatively close to my window and as the fan blows my blinds I get this little peak of the light. I remember laying here, so often, staring at that peak of light and worrying about josh making it home safe after our dates and laudate since he was always so tired. That's what the light reminds me of. that's what this whole room reminds me of, that time when St. michaels was my entire life. I miss it. Not that I'm not happy with Chapman and James and all the people I know now, it's just weird. You can't go back to old times. Sean, Becki, Sarah, Ben and I can't pick up and go to Alabama. Now all the girls (but me) have kids, and Ben's in New York and Sean's, well, still the coolest person ever :)
I hate sleeping alone in my Chapman Apartment (hint hint come visit i have an extra bed!-- with those very comfy jersey sheets!) and yet being in my own room just leaves me with a kinda sad nostalgia.
I also have horrible internet connection in my apartment which is why i haven't been updating too often. However, my summer school class is online so I will be in the chapman library more often from here on out and will be able to update (phaedra we should happen to run into each other there!)
There is, however, one big reminder of *this* chapter of my life, the huge mattress taking up the majority of my floor space. The mattress is here for when james comes over. He takes over my bed and I sleep down there (I'm so giving). So I am happy now. I just miss what i used to have. But that's normal. One of my favorite songs in the bon jovi (with the girl form sugarland) "who says you can't go home". I love the song and I loved believing you could go home. But you can't get back the past. And I think i am *finally* okay with that.
I came home yesterday for father's day, then stuck around today to take my sister for her *facial!* (yeah if you know my sister that is definitely out of left field, but anyway). I need to buy a book at saddleback for my summer school class that started today so I had to stick around to pick that up tomorrow.
I'm in my bed.
My walls are covered with pictures. Pictures that haven't changed since Isaac Steuart was born. (he's three now). The pictures right across from my are from GOC. Sean, Becki, Sarah, Ben and Me. We were all so young.
My blinds are right next to my bed. There's a street light relatively close to my window and as the fan blows my blinds I get this little peak of the light. I remember laying here, so often, staring at that peak of light and worrying about josh making it home safe after our dates and laudate since he was always so tired. That's what the light reminds me of. that's what this whole room reminds me of, that time when St. michaels was my entire life. I miss it. Not that I'm not happy with Chapman and James and all the people I know now, it's just weird. You can't go back to old times. Sean, Becki, Sarah, Ben and I can't pick up and go to Alabama. Now all the girls (but me) have kids, and Ben's in New York and Sean's, well, still the coolest person ever :)
I hate sleeping alone in my Chapman Apartment (hint hint come visit i have an extra bed!-- with those very comfy jersey sheets!) and yet being in my own room just leaves me with a kinda sad nostalgia.
I also have horrible internet connection in my apartment which is why i haven't been updating too often. However, my summer school class is online so I will be in the chapman library more often from here on out and will be able to update (phaedra we should happen to run into each other there!)
There is, however, one big reminder of *this* chapter of my life, the huge mattress taking up the majority of my floor space. The mattress is here for when james comes over. He takes over my bed and I sleep down there (I'm so giving). So I am happy now. I just miss what i used to have. But that's normal. One of my favorite songs in the bon jovi (with the girl form sugarland) "who says you can't go home". I love the song and I loved believing you could go home. But you can't get back the past. And I think i am *finally* okay with that.