HELP PLEASE!
Help me please! I just wrote a poem that I hope shows off my talent...I really like it but I'm not sure about the ending...I will love you forever if you help me...thanks!!! (I met a cute 17 year old Spanish guy today named Nick and he writes poetry as well and gave me a sample that was just so achingly beautiful I really almost cried right there in front of him and that shocked me...i've never experienced a poem that made me cry...he's a keeper...sorry, Ben...wish me good luck with Nick :D)
Every day I sit here for you
Beads of sweat and drops of blood
Spill across the pages in familiar words
Breathe them to their death
Frozen forever in scraggly handwriting
It’s the best of me on these pages
Secrets and memories that struggle to survive
I can’t forget your sweet voice saying its last words
It sings me to sleep
I cry myself to sleep
Every day I sit here for you
Holding empty promises in my shaking hands
Holding empty bottles in my shaking hands
Breathe me to my death
I want the taste of you to be the last thing I remember
Rest your hand on my chest
Wait, wait, wait
My heart will stop
So sing me to sleep
Cry me to sleep
Every day I sit here for you
Cradling my hope that you’ll grant me my last wish
Nursing my tattered soul toward the clouds
Breathe it to its death
I will wait forever for you
But I can not live forever
I’ll just close my eyes to your absence
I’ll just picture your shadow standing over me
And I’ll sing myself to sleep
And I’ll cry myself to sleep
It’s my last promise
It’s my fatal promise
It’s my true promise
I’ll finally let you go
Every day I sit here for you
Beads of sweat and drops of blood
Spill across the pages in familiar words
Breathe them to their death
Frozen forever in scraggly handwriting
It’s the best of me on these pages
Secrets and memories that struggle to survive
I can’t forget your sweet voice saying its last words
It sings me to sleep
I cry myself to sleep
Every day I sit here for you
Holding empty promises in my shaking hands
Holding empty bottles in my shaking hands
Breathe me to my death
I want the taste of you to be the last thing I remember
Rest your hand on my chest
Wait, wait, wait
My heart will stop
So sing me to sleep
Cry me to sleep
Every day I sit here for you
Cradling my hope that you’ll grant me my last wish
Nursing my tattered soul toward the clouds
Breathe it to its death
I will wait forever for you
But I can not live forever
I’ll just close my eyes to your absence
I’ll just picture your shadow standing over me
And I’ll sing myself to sleep
And I’ll cry myself to sleep
It’s my last promise
It’s my fatal promise
It’s my true promise
I’ll finally let you go