(no subject)
Im trying to find a way to make it back home but it's so hard to try and find a room mate or a plan of action. Life choices are so overwhelming right now. I think I need to be home with my family and friends. Theres this huge space between Alex and I and I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I feel like I'll never be part of his life. He's gone at midnight right now on a Saturday night and Im left here doing nothing. I have no one here. I bought this beautiful and expensive ingredients from whole foods today to celebrate getting a job and here I am eating it alone watching my so called life on netflix. I want to share food, conversation, a bottle of wine. My sister wishes she had more room in her house so I could live with her and help her out with the day care while I go to school but she simply doesn't have enough space even for what she has there!
Its times like this where its hard that we don't have a mother to fall back on. There's no "hey mom can I crash at your place for a few months?" or "mom can you lend me some money to help get my ass back to mn?"
I think the biggest thing that has disappointed me in my relationships with men is that I feel like they should fight for me. Alex knows that its going to take a lot to keep me and instead of rising to the challenge he acts like an angry teenager. Jer never fought for me during our breakup. Im definitely worth that.
Its crazy not knowing what will happen in the next few months. Its crazy not knowing really too much of what I want to happen, Im just going with it. Im just going to try and weather what comes.
Its times like this where its hard that we don't have a mother to fall back on. There's no "hey mom can I crash at your place for a few months?" or "mom can you lend me some money to help get my ass back to mn?"
I think the biggest thing that has disappointed me in my relationships with men is that I feel like they should fight for me. Alex knows that its going to take a lot to keep me and instead of rising to the challenge he acts like an angry teenager. Jer never fought for me during our breakup. Im definitely worth that.
Its crazy not knowing what will happen in the next few months. Its crazy not knowing really too much of what I want to happen, Im just going with it. Im just going to try and weather what comes.