Where I am right now...
I must admit my head is a bit of a mess at the moment. I'm failing uni, I've been to like 3 tutorials and maybe half of my lectures this semester for various reasons, one being I just couldn't make myself get out of bed :(
It's not that I want to fail, or drop out or stop doing my degree either, it's just that I'm feeling so apathetic about it. I've done some studying, but the courses this semester really haven't caught my interest at all. And what's more, they're hard, really hard. I missed a couple of weeks and can't remember a couple more cos I had really bad colds and was dosed up on anything and everything I could. After that it just all went to shit. I'm really worried about it but I can't bring myself to get my head down and study like I ought to.
I'm really really missing Luke at the moment :( It just seems to be getting harder to be apart from him. I'm so comfortable with him now, and in our relationship. I know I can tell him anything, I can talk to him about anything, do pretty much anything and he will still love and support me.I just ache from missing him so much and wanting him here tho :( I'm going to try and visit more during the summer tho. This seeing him once every couple of months thing that's been going on since I've been at uni is simply unbearable. He's stressed out with work too and I don't know how to help him or how to make it better :( I just wish I could. I love him so much I feel like I could burst from it. I know I get moody and stroppy and needy and he loves me anyway.
Things with mum are still up and down. Sometimes she's lovely and supportive and great, other times she's her usual bitchy self and making me feel like a piece of shit on her shoe. I'm not entirely sure I want to go home this Summer, I'm half tempted to see if I can get a summer job up here and work here through the Summer instead. About the only good thing about home is that I'm that much closer to Luke and don't have to pay for food.
I'm not looking forward to the Summer cos I'll be so far away from my friends I have here. I've pretty much totally lost contact with everyone from QM, not that I think that's entirely a bad thing. There were far too many negative connotations there and I couldn't really be the person I wanted to be, but at the same time that means I'm going to be fairly isolated this Summer. Another reason I'm going to try and travel over the weekends.
All this is of course assuming I find a job after all, which given the current economic situation may be difficult :(
On a happier note I am really looking forward to the Ball tonight :D It's going to be fun I hope with nice food and good company :) And I get to spend the weekend with Luke making his birthday as awesome and happy as possible. His present is all packed. His cake is made and the icing is setting in Sam's fridge, I'll pick it up later. She's done an awesome job with my hair, although sleeping on it appears to have made it more wavy and frizzy again, but still mostly straight :)
It's not that I want to fail, or drop out or stop doing my degree either, it's just that I'm feeling so apathetic about it. I've done some studying, but the courses this semester really haven't caught my interest at all. And what's more, they're hard, really hard. I missed a couple of weeks and can't remember a couple more cos I had really bad colds and was dosed up on anything and everything I could. After that it just all went to shit. I'm really worried about it but I can't bring myself to get my head down and study like I ought to.
I'm really really missing Luke at the moment :( It just seems to be getting harder to be apart from him. I'm so comfortable with him now, and in our relationship. I know I can tell him anything, I can talk to him about anything, do pretty much anything and he will still love and support me.I just ache from missing him so much and wanting him here tho :( I'm going to try and visit more during the summer tho. This seeing him once every couple of months thing that's been going on since I've been at uni is simply unbearable. He's stressed out with work too and I don't know how to help him or how to make it better :( I just wish I could. I love him so much I feel like I could burst from it. I know I get moody and stroppy and needy and he loves me anyway.
Things with mum are still up and down. Sometimes she's lovely and supportive and great, other times she's her usual bitchy self and making me feel like a piece of shit on her shoe. I'm not entirely sure I want to go home this Summer, I'm half tempted to see if I can get a summer job up here and work here through the Summer instead. About the only good thing about home is that I'm that much closer to Luke and don't have to pay for food.
I'm not looking forward to the Summer cos I'll be so far away from my friends I have here. I've pretty much totally lost contact with everyone from QM, not that I think that's entirely a bad thing. There were far too many negative connotations there and I couldn't really be the person I wanted to be, but at the same time that means I'm going to be fairly isolated this Summer. Another reason I'm going to try and travel over the weekends.
All this is of course assuming I find a job after all, which given the current economic situation may be difficult :(
On a happier note I am really looking forward to the Ball tonight :D It's going to be fun I hope with nice food and good company :) And I get to spend the weekend with Luke making his birthday as awesome and happy as possible. His present is all packed. His cake is made and the icing is setting in Sam's fridge, I'll pick it up later. She's done an awesome job with my hair, although sleeping on it appears to have made it more wavy and frizzy again, but still mostly straight :)