fic: attraction

[nyargles]

Title: Attraction
Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: PG-13-ish
Word count: 2671
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Draco attracts attention because it keeps him from feeling lonely. He attracts attention even though he doesn't want to. So what happens when there's no one around for them to attract attention from?
Notes/Warnings: (None of these

Comments

[team503]

That is beautiful.

[team503]

I have no idea. Got it from boyskissing.

[cluelesschase]

Thank you very much. =D

[thrnbrooke]

That was amazing!

[cluelesschase]

I'm glad you think so! ^___^

[ruinithil]

Awww!! Everything was so sweet and cute...

[cluelesschase]

Oh good, it wasn't too kinda angsty then! Thanks for reading. =D

[aubergineautumn]

I sort of skimmed it the first time (I'm not a fan of pronouns), because most of the time when authors use too many pronouns, it is simply indicative of their slack grasp of the English language. But- then I read the comments, and read it again, and then I reread it- and I realized you were writing in a deliberate style, creating mood through use of pronouns. I've never seen that done before, either in published fiction or fanfiction. Plus, it's not just the fact that you tried, that you were playing with the English language, and rearranging the blocks of it until the sum was more than the parts- you also succeeded in what you were trying to do, which is pretty impressive.

*Into the memory box*

[aubergineautumn]

OK, I just had to comment further. I know how hard it is to clearly keep each pronoun assigned to a specific character, and I loved how the tight reign of Harry's control is reflected in the tight reign of control you have over the pronouns; and completely inversely, I love how Draco is almost-but-never-quite out-of-control, and how THAT is also reflected in the feeling of the pronouns, as if at any moment the pronouns might slip out of YOUR control and incorrectly be assigned to the wrong person. I love when the actual STRUCTURE of the language reflects the tension between the characters and intensifies their confrontation.

PLUS! As if to racket the tension up even further, your significantly noticeable lack of dialogue is wonderful, until at the end the entire situation spills over the edge and is resolved through DIALOGUE, sparse, one liner dialogue.

*AGH! *falls over dead with the wonderfulness of your story*

[cluelesschase]

Wow. I'm glad you went back and re-read it! I agree; the pronouns were especially hard to control in this piece rather than a het piece, mostly because they're both boys, and there's only one pronoun I could use. Haha.

*helps back up* Haha, I really appreciate your comment, so thank you very much! ^___^

[hotfortwins]

Guh! This is probably going to feel weird - but the first few paragraphs sum up the way I've been feeling this past few days/last week and seeing this has made me hope that their is someone out there for me.

Thank you for giving me hope back. This was spectactularly amazing <3

[cluelesschase]

I'm really glad that my story could relate to you somehow. I hope you do feel better soon. Thank you very much for reading. :)