fic: Home is home, though it be homely. (2/2)
Title: Home is home, though it be homely (2/2)
Part One
Between work and taking care of Gwen, Merlin didn't even have time to think about his housing situation. He had originally thought that he'd keep moving until he found somewhere he could feasibly call his own home, but now home was this broken down house. He hadn't even checked his flatshare websites for a few months now, and thoughts of moving out were becoming ever more scarce. In fact, when it crossed his mind now, he felt pangs of guilt that he'd be leaving Gwen behind, that maybe he would be running away from the problems.
It had been a long time since Morgana had advised him to ask Lancelot, but finally one night as Lancelot was washing his dishes and Merlin was eating, it finally felt like the right time to ask. "Why do you deal drugs?" Merlin chewed his chips thoughtfully. He thought of Gwen immediately, and then quashed the thought. Above everything, Lancelot was a decent guy and Merlin wanted to be open-minded enough to hear him out and make a judgement afterwards. He was trying, anyway.
Lancelot gave him a crooked smile. "Because it's an easy way of making money and meeting people." That was it. It was just a job. Merlin tried to wrap his thoughts around that, prolonging the silence as he chewed. It was just like sweatshop owners, in his mind - they exploited children and workers and it was just about the money. It was good business, but it was cruel in his mind. "I work with a clean conscience, Merlin," Lancelot said from the sink.
"How can you justify it?" The words came out slightly more forceful than he had thought. He had been going for curious and neutral.
Lancelot wiped his hands, and came to sit opposite Merlin. He looked at Merlin for a long time. "I asked myself the same thing for a long time. But I realised that if I couldn't justify it to myself, then I didn't stand a chance of justifying myself to other people." He sat back more comfortably, and tapped his lip. "I started doing it in uni. I got a reputation for clean stuff, safe stuff." He looked darkly at Merlin, "Some dealers just do it for the money and don't care about what they sell. They mix all sorts of things in there to water it down and make more out of the same amount. You've got to remember that no one really knows what's in the shit that they buy."
With a shrug, Lancelot waved for Merlin to come up. Merlin finished the last of his broccoli, and followed Lancelot upstairs. He'd never really been in Lancelot's room properly before. Lancelot opened the en-suit door, showing packaging and bags all over the bath. "I mix my own stuff myself. I make sure it's safe, it's clean, there are no unknown chemicals that will kill you. Everyone gets drug education in school, so all the other risks are up to you to take." Lancelot perched on the edge of the bath and looked seriously at Merlin.
"I'm not going to make someone's decision for them as they whether or not they decide to take drugs. However, I only sell to people I've already met. I have a list of clients, who'll tell me if anyone they know wants anything. I don't sell to complete strangers." Finally, Lancelot sighed, running his hands through his hair. "When it comes down to it, if I didn't sell to these people, then someone else will, and at least I trust what I put in my shit."
Merlin laughed unbelievingly. This whole situation was completely surreal, and yet... and yet, he completely understood Lancelot's justification. He nodded. "I trust you," he said. "I don't know why, you still sell drugs, but..." he shook his head. "You make sense," he smiled tiredly. He thought of Gwen. "Why don't you sell to Gwen?"
Lancelot pursed his lips, and looked down. "Because if I didn't always say 'no' to her, I would never be able to," he said quietly.
-
Merlin clenched his phone after the call finished, hearing it beep and then fall silent. He let his head fall back onto his bed, trying not to fall apart. He pressed his nails into his palm until it hurt, telling himself that he was overreacting - of course he was overreacting. Tesco was a big chain supermarket, which meant that all of the bureaucracy ran smoothly. When there was a glitch, it would be easy to fix, which meant that the delay in Merlin's wage was just temporary. He was sure that the money would come through in a couple of days. His manager was sure that all of his hours were logged, and didn't seem to know that anything was amiss.
Pulling out his old notebook where he kept notes of his spending, budgeting and income, Merlin sighed. He would have barely any money until his wages came through, but he was sure that he could survive a few days not buying anything. He'd have to tell Arthur though, just in case it took more than three days to come through, since that was when he paid his rent.
"Come in," Arthur answered Merlin's knock on his door, and Merlin stepped inside. It was the first time he'd actually been inside Arthur's room. He was surprised to see that while it was naturally of a good size, it wasn't particularly bigger than any of the other rooms. Apart from the faded wallpaper that was a dozen years out of date, it was crisp and modern. The double bed, wardrobe and desk all matched, the same dark shade of mahogany that complimented the deep red rug by the bed. Two pieces of vivid modern art hung from the walls, and his laptop was on the desk, plugged into an impressive sound system. The entire ensemble completely suited Arthur, and didn't fit into the rest of the house at all.
Merlin stood inside, feeling somehow like a schoolboy who had entered the headteacher's office. Arthur looked up from his laptop. "Hi Arthur, I just wanted to let you know in case it happened," Merlin found himself rambling from the offset. "It probably won't happen, the money will come through in time, I'm sure." Arthur's eyebrow rose. "Well, just in case it doesn't come through, I haven't been paid this month yet, so, so..." Merlin bit his lip. "I might not be able to pay you rent on time." He wasn't entirely sure how Arthur dealt with late payments.
There was a silence, and Merlin was just forming the words to tell to forget it, because he'd definitely hand rent in on time even though he wasn't entirely sure how, when Arthur stood up. "Merlin. If I let anyone in here get away with handing rent in late, I'd never get rent in." Merlin cringed, and yet he knew what Arthur meant. If he bowed every time Gwen begged 'Just another few days', he'd never get the money out of her.
"Yes, of course," Merlin found himself babbling, "Don't worry about it. I'll have it, I'm sure, I just thought I'd warn you, but it's not going to happen, of course." He made back out of Arthur's room, flustered and a bit crestfallen.
"Merlin." Arthur was walking towards him, and Merlin froze. He quashed the hope trying to spark inside him. "One of the house rules is that if you can't make rent, I give you three days to find somewhere else, and then I throw you out. It doesn't matter if you can find the money to make rent in those three days - the first deadline stands." Even as he nodded mutely, Merlin could appreciate how good a business man Arthur was.
As he looked down at the floor, polished wood unlike the rest of the house, Merlin suddenly flinched as Arthur cupped his chin with his hand. Arthur had been expecting it though, and his hand stayed firmly on Merlin's jaw as he moved. "You're attractive," Arthur said bluntly. "If I like someone, and if I'm in the mood, I might offer to buy them instead. Same going rate charged as the rest of my people at retail."
A forced laugh burst out of Merlin's throat, hearing Arthur speak so clinically, so professionally, of sex for money. "You're offering to screw me for rent," he said, voice croaking a bit.
"It's an option. Every night for a week should cover the rent." Arthur rubbed his thumb over Merlin's cheek. "Don't you think of it as a standing offer though; next time I might not feel like it." Merlin could feel his head shake, even though that wasn't what he meant to do. "Or if you don't want it to be me, someone else. Leon can take you to work with him tonight." Merlin shook his head some more. That wasn't what he meant: it wasn't about whether he found Arthur attractive or not.
Merlin could feel the heat flush curl across his face as he took Arthur's wrist, tugging it away from him. If he did that, even if he wanted to, he'd never be out of it. He'd spend the rest of his life as one of Arthur's 'people'. His head kept on shaking. "I'm not like that." He thought of Gwen, poor sweet Gwen, who tried so hard. Merlin flung his fists into the air, and would have hit Arthur if Arthur hadn't dodged backwards. "I can't, I'm not like you lot!" The words came out almost as a scream, and Merlin choked even as they came out, because he knew how horrible he sounded.
His hand dropping back down to his side, Arthur looked coolly at him as Merlin averted his eyes, not knowing how to take back his words, whether he could, or whether he even wanted to. "You're not like us in what way? You don't belong here? Do you belong with a better class of people? People who aren't the scum of society? People who have no shame, no morals?"
Arthur smiled a twisted smile that also managed to twist Merlin's heart up until he could barely breathe. "And yet here you are, living with the rest of us, working night shifts at Tesco." The words cut Merlin as nothing else could have. His face was now entirely red from frustration and embarrassment, anger and shame; his hands were curled into fists at his side, shaking.
Arthur stepped forwards, reaching past Merlin to pull his bedroom door open. "Why don't you consider it, before I don't feel like it anymore?" He said quietly as Merlin stumbled out, closing the door behind him. Merlin tumbled back up the stairs to his room. He stood in the doorway, staring at the barren room in its faded blue paint, sporting two rickety beds next to the threadbare chairs. He curled up into a ball onto his bed, the bed that wasn't even his, and wrapped himself in the duvet, angry tears leaking from his eyes.
Arthur was right. After three years of slaving away to get a good degree and working part-time to support himself so that he could get a good job and support his mother, this was all he had accumulated in to: half a rented room in a crumbling house, three suitcases of belongings and a crummy dead-end job. Merlin clung to his anger and despair, smothering himself in it like the duvet and letting the fat tears dribble down his face and soak into the duvet. His body shook with the force of his anger, but he made no noise, silently letting his hopelessness consume him.
There was no telling how long Merlin stayed like that. Eventually, the crying lessened until his eyes seeped out the occasional tear. His eyes were red and raw, and he could barely open them. His entire body ached from the tension and the shaking. It took him a while to move his body even after he wanted to, because it had locked itself into this foetal position. Finally, Merlin eased himself out of the covers, the relatively cold air of the room settling over him, helping him to calm down.
Merlin took some deep breaths, peeling the duvet, which had stuck to his sweaty frame, off and sitting up. Morgana sat on Leon's bed, legs crossed and as serene as ever. "Tea, Merlin?" She asked simply, holding out the mug she had cupped in her hands. It was testament to how self-absorbed Merlin had been that he hadn't heard her coming in. He accepted it mutely, merely nodding in thanks.
Hunching over his mug, Merlin finally unstuck his throat. "You heard from Arthur." It wasn't a question. Morgana nodded. "Sorry," he said hoarsely. Neither of them had to ask what he was apologising for.
-
"It's not that bad," Merlin cajoled Gwen, "It's long hours and it doesn't pay as well, but it's regular work and you always know you're going to be paid." He tried not to think about the scare when his money almost hadn't come through. The important thing was that it had come through, and he'd paid Arthur off without a hitch. Arthur had given him a look that implied that if Merlin wanted the extra cash though... Merlin shook his head, and returned to waving the piece of paper at Gwen. "You're practically guaranteed it," Merlin pleaded.
Gwen had cut down on her intake again, and although she always longingly looked at her phone, she would manage to text Merlin or Morgana instead. She was down to a tiny dab a day, as if even the taste of it helped her chase away the longing. Merlin was hopeful, but knew that the risk of relapsing was always there.
When he'd got the promotion to shift supervisor, which still didn't pay particularly well but at least meant that he had to deal less with drunken louts wanting peanuts at four am unless they were threatening his staff, Merlin had been told that he could hire his replacement. He knew that it was biased, but he'd taken a job application home for Gwen anyway.
It was a crappy job. Merlin had thought so when he'd worked it and he still thought so now. But he also knew that what Gwen needed was a reliable job that took up enough of her time to keep her busy. She worked for Arthur at the moment, but in her state, it had been hard to attract customers. The type of clientele a wrecked addict attracted were exactly the sort of people Arthur kept his people away from. Most of them had a known list of clients and a particular group they would appeal to, Gareth and Gawain in particular, because they were twins and that was exactly where Merlin wanted to stop thinking about that right now. Gwen didn't have any regulars to rely on.
"I'll give it a try," Gwen smiled tremulously at him. Her hand still shook traitorously halfway down the form, and although Merlin bit his lip with pity, Gwen merely shook her hand out and continued on calmly. Sometimes, Merlin just wanted to hug her for her bravery. She finished the form, and Merlin tried to squash all guilty feelings about handing a job to a friend. Gwen would do a good job if she concentrated, he knew. It was exactly the sort of thing she was good at, helping people and being helpful even before she was asked.
In the end though, Merlin knew he was justifying it, and thought of Lancelot justifying himself. He looked at Gwen, reading over the job description, simple and pathetic as it was, and firmed his heart. His conscience was clear on this one.
-
"It's not that bad, Gwen," Merlin said. He seemed to have said those words a lot in the past month. Gwen was unused to the rigidity of a shift job, used to mostly working in her own time and taking frequent breaks. The smartness of the uniform still seemed to make her uncomfortable, and the low wage wasn't helping either. She never voiced these thoughts when she was working, of course. Gwen was polite and sweet and people working the night shift adored her. The drunkards were always polite back to her, and she carried her work out faultlessly.
Merlin could see the restlessness in her eyes though. Before, Gwen could have earned in a couple of hours what she earned after a whole night's work. Arthur had given her an open offer of return if the job fell through. It had been kindness on his part, but the offer enticed Gwen, Merlin could tell. "Merlin's right," Lancelot chipped in, looking somewhat guilty. He was the worst example of someone who worked as little as possible for as much money as possible. "Just stick with it, Gwen. At least you always know you're going to get paid." He pressed a hand over hers and smiled. "We'll be here for you."
-
When Merlin found out, he found himself wounded that Gwen hadn't told him about it. In hindsight though, Merlin realised that though Gwen depended on him and Morgana for a lot of things, she was a very capable person all by herself. She merely had one fault that seemed to always drag her down, and she needed her friends for that. Merlin was maybe even more surprised that he hadn't noticed it himself, and chastised himself for not paying close enough attention to Gwen the rest of the time.
"That's great," Merlin grinned at her as she stared worriedly. He eased her concern with a massive hug. "Lancelot's a wonderful guy." He was the first man that Gwen had found herself interested in since she'd worked for Arthur. He was the first man interested in her and wasn't flashing money at her for it. Merlin rolled the idea around in his head and laughed. Strangely enough, they were ridiculously well suited to each other, in a strange way.
"Okay," Gwen smiled beatifically at him, glad that he had her approval, and Merlin smothered a giggle as Lancelot joined them in the living room, shyly easing himself first onto the same sofa as them, and the awkwardly shuffling along until he was next to Gwen, and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her face glowed, and Merlin felt his heart thump proudly for her.
Merlin shot Lancelot one of those 'You'd better not hurt her or I will slice your penis off' looks anyway, and Lancelot nodded seriously back at him. Merlin left them to it, after that, delighted for both his friends.
-
It was impossible, of course, for things to stay that easy. Gwen had fled out of Lancelot's room into Merlin's that very evening. Leon had taken one look at the desperate, wretched face on Gwen's face and fled himself, retreating to the kitchen with his book and an awkward pat on Merlin's shoulder. Gwen crumpled onto Merlin's shoulder, wearing just her underwear, and Merlin would have felt more awkward if she hadn't looked so in pain.
"What's wrong, Gwen? Did he hurt you?" Merlin asked immediately, gathering her in his arms and then bundling her into the comfortable duvet.
Gwen shook her head, her mass of hair bouncing wildly. "No, nothing like that," she gasped. She opened her eyes to finally look into Merlin's eyes, and it was that hunger, that craving, as strong as it had been when Gwen had been using, and everything clicked into place at once.
"Oh, Gwen," Merlin said hopelessly, pulling her into his arms for a hug. Of course, Lancelot's room would be the worst possible place for a recovering addict.
Gwen's eyes leaked tears. "It was... so close." The longing in her voice was evident, and Merlin was proud that she had pulled herself away in time.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Lancelot appeared in Merlin's doorway, his appearance dishevelled as if he'd barely paused to pull some clothes back on before running after Gwen. He held out a dress for her, and she pulled it on awkwardly from Merlin's arms. "It's all locked up. You can't see it now."
Gwen shifted over to gently squeeze his hand. Lancelot looked so miserable. "It's not your fault," she said, her voice still shaky from her self-control evaporating in the face of temptation. "It's me, I'm so weak." She laughed a little bit, a bare ghost of her normal laugh. "It'll be fine. I mean, it's not at the moment, but it will be. Yeah."
"I'm going to get a cup of tea," Merlin said firmly, pushing Lancelot down to sit next to Gwen. "And you two are going to talk it out and sort out how it's going to work." They laughed, and he left them. He let his calm demeanour fall off as he closed the door breathing heavily and walking downstairs with shaky legs.
Although Merlin did stop off in the kitchen for a cup of tea first, he took it into the sitting room, brooding over it. He hadn't seen that look in Gwen's eyes for a long while now, and Merlin had perhaps hoped that he'd never see it again. It must have been tough for Morgana, who had seen Gwen look almost complete and then fail yet again for so many more times than he had.
-
Merlin huddled in the large armchair, his arms wrapped around a cushion. He closed his eyes, trying let the stress seep out of him, but it just didn't seem possible. It was all sticking together like taffy, rolling together until it all settled as a large uncomfortable lump in his gut.
"That's my armchair." The voice made Merlin look up. Arthur looked down as him impassively, and then pointed. "You're in my armchair." It wasn't really Arthur's, but if he was in the room then whoever had been in it would automatically give it up for him.
"Why don't you take a sofa," Merlin replied, his voice steely. "It might actually fit your ego on it." He was grumpy, and wanted some space to think alone, so of course Arthur had to come in and ruin it all, poke at him, see how far he could be pushed. Merlin sighed, burying his head in the cushion. His head shot back up with a glower on as he was pushed sideways, until there was enough space on his left for Arthur to slide into the armchair as well.
Merlin's arms squeezed the life out of that cushion. "You are just insufferable," he ground his teeth together. He was about to storm off, and was half out of the bloody armchair, which Arthur could just keep if it mattered that much, when Arthur pulled him back down again. "What are you doing?!" Merlin exploded, twisting to look at Arthur with his face contorted into fury.
"Hug?" Arthur looked remarkable unruffled.
"Do I look like I need a fucking hug?!" Merlin snapped, swearing for possibly the first time since he had come to live here.
Arthur put his arms around Merlin, keeping him there as he struggled. "Yes," he said simply. He held onto Merlin until Merlin stopped trying to squirm out of his grasp, until Merlin stilled, and then finally fisted his hands into Arthur's shirt and slumped into him, body shaking.
"It's so hard," Merlin whispered into the collar of Arthur's shirt, "It's so hard, and it hurts." Arthur pulled Merlin further onto the armchair, rocking him slightly and letting him talk it out. "And I don't want to give up on her."
"I know," Arthur whispered back, his breath hot and sad on Merlin's ear. "But she'll be okay. She's going to be okay." He ran his hand through Merlin's hair, combing it out and smoothing it over. Hunith used to do that when Merlin was young. "She's going to be okay, and it's all thanks to you, Merlin."
Merlin gasped, rubbing his face into Arthur's shirt as if trying to wipe his memory. There were images of Gwen running through his head. How hungry she had looked when she saw the little bags of white powder, how pained when she tried to stop herself. How disappointed in herself she had been when she finally held one in her hands, and yet at the same time so eager and keen. The strongest image was none of these though. It was of how happy she looked, how peaceful, blissful she was in those few short hours when the bag lay empty on the floor, a light trace of powder still around her nose.
Arthur let Merlin choke it all out, gasp out all his fears in terrified whispers until he had nothing more to say. He pulled Merlin into his lap as Merlin clung to him, so scared and so unsure of what to do. "Almost everything you think," Arthur said in a low voice, "will probably happen. But it means that you're prepared for it, Merlin. You can't let it get the better of you, or Gwen." Merlin nodded into Arthur's shoulder. "And I'll be here. And Morgana will be here, and Lancelot will be here." He pulled his arms tighter around Merlin as if to demonstrate that.
"'M sorry," Merlin mumbled into Arthur's shoulder. "It just... it was just too much."
"It's okay." Arthur stroked Merlin's back and then scooped Merlin into his arms. "Come on. Let's get you more comfortable." He carried Merlin as if he weighed nothing, and Merlin let him, leaning exhaustedly into Arthur. They made it to Arthur's bedroom, and Arthur plopped him down on the bed before climbing up to lie next to him. "Calm down and relax," Arthur advised gently, wrapping his arms around Merlin and leaning in. He pressed a little kiss to Merlin's lips, reassuring and soft. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Merlin sighed into Arthur's neck. He lay there, blinking up at Arthur as Arthur brushed his hair back from his face before craning his neck down and gently nuzzling at Merlin's lips before planting a kiss on them. Arthur's lips were comforting and slightly chapped. He suckled Merlin's lower lip into his warm mouth, and Merlin let his mouth drop slightly open in the process. He sighed into the sensation, closing his eyes as Arthur's fingers skated over his face, tracing his cheekbones until they framed his face. Arthur pulled back, and Merlin looked up at him, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Thank you."
-
It was, Merlin knew, an act of comfort and not of passion. However, as Arthur slid his tongue into Merlin's mouth and lapped at his tongue, Merlin arched into the motion, pressing his entire body closer to Arthur's. It just felt right. Arthur's large hands traced down from Merlin's shoulders, down his back to massage his arse. Merlin sighed into it, and slid his foot up the back of Arthur's leg until his leg was hooked over Arthur's hip.
"You want this, right?" Arthur's voice was low, dangerous. "I don't want to have to live with you afterwards if you're going to be regretting it and awkward afterwards." He stared down at Merlin, his blue eyes serious as he rested his hands on Merlin's backside.
"I know what I'm doing," Merlin smoothed back a lock of blond hair from Arthur's face. He could see Arthur's hesitation though - all bets were off now that it wasn't for money, or rent. Making the first move, Merlin peeled off his t-shirt, and then started on the buttons of Arthur's shirt, kissing first his neck and then his way down as he bared more of Arthur's skin.
It took only a moment of Merlin being in charge before Arthur took over though. He pulled the rest of his shirt of easily, and they parted for a moment to squirm out of their trousers. Merlin shivered a little bit as he eyed the bulge in Arthur's underwear, and reached out to softly stroke it. Arthur watched him, before claiming his mouth again. Merlin breathed heavily as Arthur roughly kissed him, leaving his lips red and puffy.
Arthur's hands were on the move again, roaming all over Merlin's skin and he gasped. It had been a long while since someone had touched him like this, not since he had been living with Edwin. He and Edwin were never together, but they had occasionally had sex. Merlin's heartbeat sped up at the memory of sex, and the realisation of something new, and startling, that wasn't his own hand. He groaned, feeling himself start to grow hard just from the thought of it, and all of a sudden, he wanted it. He wanted sex, and he wanted Arthur, and he had never known how much he missed it until he got it back.
The irony of how similar this was to Gwen's craving struck a chord within Merlin, but he pressed those thoughts aside. He leaned into Arthur's kisses, encouraging them with movements of his head, his mouth wide and open for Arthur's tongue to explore. His hands pressed over Arthur's body, so familiar in its masculinity but so different to his own. Arthur was more well-built, and Merlin traced his fingers over the muscles that lay where he just had bone. Merlin flicked Arthur's nipples, and Arthur growled at him, before nibbling on his earlobe. He felt Arthur's breath, hot and wet and heady, on his ear, and a whimper escaped him before he even realised that the noise had been himself.
Arthur's fingers pressed into the soft flesh of Merlin's thigh, and he made a little noise of longing. "You good?" Arthur asked gruffly as he moved his fingers higher and Merlin started to tense up. Merlin wasn't tensing up because he didn't want this though - this was his body's natural reaction to the stimulation, where he would freeze lest he move and disturb the sensation that felt so damn good.
"It's been a while," Merlin admitted, pressed his lips onto Arthur for more kisses, "but yeah, god. Good." He laughed shakily, clinging onto Arthur as Arthur finally peeled Merlin's underwear off. He kicked it down from where it hooked around his knee, and raised his hips to meet Arthur's hand as he massaged Merlin's balls. It was a bit like feeling like a virgin all over again, new and exciting and sensations he'd forgotten he could even feel.
Merlin slipped into a daze of pleasure as Arthur pressed his hands all over his groin, sliding his fingers under him to caress his hole, or his fingers grasping his half-hard cock that was getting harder with every touch, or even just the light flicker of fingers across his hips. It had been, Merlin surmised, far too long. Merlin was brought back as suddenly Arthur's finger slipped up his arse, slippery and cold.
"Ahh!" Merlin gasped, his relaxed body clenching around Arthur's finger, and he murmured again at how good that felt.
"God," Arthur laughed at him, but moved his finger in and out slowly anyway, accommodating Merlin. "A long while, yeah?" Merlin nodded wordlessly as Arthur stared predatorily down at him, working his way up to a second finger, pushing inside Merlin as his body struggled to keep up. Merlin could feel that he was a tiny bit too tight, and Arthur's fingers burned. He gasped, trying to rock his hips in time to help, but truthfully, the pain felt good. He wanted it.
Clasping Arthur's wrist, Merlin stopped his hand movement. Arthur stared quizzically down at Merlin as he tried not to keep shoving his hips down onto Arthur's hand for long enough to try and piece his words together. "I'm ready. Now." He knew that Arthur was doubtful, but Merlin pressed his fingers into Arthur's jaw, strong and determined. "I'm ready," he repeated breathlessly, spreading his legs and hooking them over Arthur's hips, tugging insistently.
"If you say so," Arthur snorted, shucking off his underwear with one smooth movement that Merlin couldn't have even tried to emulate and reaching for a condom. Merlin groaned at the sight of Arthur's cock, stiff and upright. The sight of his cock, ready to take him, brought back more memories, and Merlin licked his lips in anticipation. Arthur positioned himself, and Merlin shuddered a little as Arthur's tip brushed him.
There wasn't any time to think about the small movements after that, because Arthur seemingly took him as his word, and shoved himself unceremoniously in. "Ahh!" Merlin cried out, his body spasming around Arthur, and Merlin tightened his grip on Arthur's shoulders partly in case Arthur got the wrong idea and tried to pull back out, and partly because he just needed something to hold on to.
"Yes," choked Merlin, and that was all it took to reassure Arthur, who pulled back in and slammed back into Merlin hard enough to shift him two inches up the bed. Arthur picked a fast pace, shoving up as far inside Merlin as he could. Merlin let his mouth hang open, breathy pants escaping as he just hung on as best as he could for the ride.
It hurt, and it was fantastic. Merlin's body screamed at him every time Arthur stretched him some more. Arthur was thicker, fuller than anyone Merlin had had sex with before, and it was exactly what he wanted, what he needed right now. Merlin thrashed on the bed, his hips bucking to meet Arthur, desperate for more, harder, right there.
Arthur's hips slid smoothly between Merlin's thighs, his balls hitting the back of Merlin's arse every second, and Merlin lost himself in that rhythm. Arthur stretched him, and filled him, and then Arthur's hand was on his cock, gripping firmly and putting pressure on just all the right places. Merlin whimpered, entire body locked into place as he didn't dare move and ruin it all. Chuckling, Arthur pressed sloppy kisses to Merlin's lips, down his neck, and back on his lips again. He could hear Arthur panting and swallowed Arthur's groans and growls greedily.
It was embarrassing, really. Merlin felt the telltale build up of pressure in his groin, and batted at Arthur's arm, trying to make him stop. Arthur was having none of that though, and carried on. Merlin keened, his hips falling out of rhythm and stuttering as the pleasure overwhelmed him. His legs jerked, out of his control, and if Arthur hadn't had him pinned down, Merlin would have bucked off the bed completely. "Well, come on then," he heard Arthur's voice, mocking and lusty, and Arthur's hand tightened around his cock and twisted as he jerked, and Merlin couldn't help but come with a shout.
Merlin lay on the bed, chest heaving in his post-coital gaze, and found Arthur smirking up over him. His cheeks flamed red and he shut his eyes. Merlin felt like a horny teenager all over again. "A really, really long while, eh?"
Arthur laughed, before spreading his legs again and slipping back in. Merlin moaned a little, having forgotten that just because he had epically had an orgasm barely minutes into the sex that Arthur hadn't come yet. "A really, really long while," he mumbled in admission, his body still jerking a bit.
This time, the pace was less rough, but still fast, and Merlin rocked into it, helpless against the rub of pleasure that Arthur created inside it. "You don't let up, do you?" He gasped, his cock twitching feebly.
"You wanted hard and fast," Arthur drawled, angling his hips so that his cock could rub against Merlin's prostate. Merlin pressed a hand to his lips, but a little wanton moan still escaped through his fingers. Arthur seemed disinclined to let Merlin revel in his post-coital bliss, his hands groping Merlin's arse and his tongue swirling around Merlin's nipple. "You got what you wanted, and now I get what I want." Merlin lay limply as Arthur stole his pleasure from him, and somehow couldn't find it in him to complain, especially as his body started recovering enough to seemingly be interested in another round.
"God," Merlin whimpered, sliding his arms across Arthur's firm chest and over his shoulders, one hand tangling in the ruffle of golden hair. Merlin understood then that even though he'd been demanding, that Arthur really had been taking it easy on him, for as soon as he seemed interested again, Arthur gripped Merlin's thighs, lifting him and almost throwing him so that his back hit the headboard.
Merlin barely had enough time to recover his wind before Arthur was all over him, gripping the back of his thighs and forcing his legs up and apart. He thrust his cock back inside Merlin, whose arsehole was slick and loose and welcoming now. Merlin's legs ached with being forced that far apart, and his back hurt from where he'd been thrown into the goddamn wall, and his jaw ached from Arthur's fierce kissing, and he mewled, and he loved it all.
It was easy to tell when Arthur was getting close, because he sped up until Merlin could barely breathe. He tried to squirm, to thrash, to beg for more, but Arthur held him firmly in place at Arthur's mercy and Arthur's pleasure. Merlin tugged at his own cock with a franticness that he never felt when he was by himself, in the dark. His fingers teased over his slit, and he rubbed at the underside of the head, which was almost too sensitive to be pleasurable.
Arthur came. He came with a grunt, shoved deep inside Merlin and Merlin felt the hot burst inside him. His fingers stuttered on his own cock and Arthur took up the slack, teasing his head until Merlin came again, just moments later. Merlin only became aware of his own heavy breathing when he noticed Arthur's heavy breathing, sweat making his tanned skin look even more delectable.
Still pinned to the headboard, Merlin finally felt Arthur let go of his legs, and he let them drop, Arthur's hips still snugly in between and Arthur slumped over Merlin. "Slutty," Arthur said, his tone admiring as he pulled away with a groan, disposing of the condom with an aimed lob across the room. Merlin flushed indignantly and was about to push away until he realised that it wasn't an insult.
Pulling Merlin down the bed with him so that they could lie down properly on it, Arthur chuckled, and traced a finger over the swell of Merlin's arsecheek. Merlin's breathing evened out as he took in the sight before him. Arthur, tanned and muscled, sprawled on the bed, his cock flopping over his leg. His hair was tousled from Merlin pulling on it and he looked unbearably smug.
He was allowed, Merlin supposed, to look unbearably smug since he had just made Merlin come all over both their chests. Twice. He stared at Arthur, and considered the idea of doing that all again. His body certainly approved. In fact, his body would very much consider doing it all again right now, despite being exhausted and with none of his bits working properly. Gwen's addiction again popped into Merlin's mind as he stared at Arthur's body and realised that he craved it, right now even though he couldn't manage an erection if he tried. His ears burned with embarrassment and shame and want, and he didn't care.
Arthur rolled over to loom over Merlin, and Merlin squeaked. He saw Arthur grin, and knew that Arthur had found it adorable. Damn. Arthur rubbed noses with him for a moment, before pressing their lips together. It was different to earlier. More lingering and massaging, and Merlin opened his eyes to look at Arthur afterwards with curiosity, only then realising that he had even shut his eyes in the first place.
"Since you're all out of embarrassing reactions and confessions for now, I suppose I'll have to admit that I don't get to kiss people on the lips very often," Arthur said dryly. Oh. Merlin remembered that Leon had said something like that before - prostitutes didn't kiss on the lips: it was too personal. No wonder Arthur seemed to relish claiming his mouth.
Merlin huffed, "Well, I suppose I'll just have to put with that." Arthur snorted, and tweaked his nipple. Merlin squeaked (again, damn it) and Arthur took the opportunity to stick his tongue into Merlin's mouth.
-
As they slowly kissed some more and relaxed on Arthur's bed though, Merlin was sorely mistaken if he thought Arthur was done with him. During one particularly long kiss, where their tongues were lapping at each other, Arthur's hand slowly crept down Merlin's arse, and he slipped a finger in. "Mmmrgh!" Merlin made a muffled protest, but Arthur was still pinning him down and he refused to stop kissing. Merlin panted into Arthur's mouth, his oversensitised body rocking against Arthur's hip as Arthur gently teased Merlin open again.
This time, Arthur took great pains to stretch Merlin fully before adding another, his fingers now rotating and scissoring. Arthur shifted him, pushing his leg over so that he was on his front even though his head was still craned around for Arthur to kiss. Merlin raised his arse into the air, and Arthur nudged his knee so that it slipped on the silk sheets, effectively sliding his legs apart.
Concentrating on making Merlin as slippery and open as possible, Arthur ignored Merlin's pleas to just fuck him already. Merlin's hips tried to pump up and down, but a hand on the small of his back kept him down, and Arthur watched him rutting his erect cock against the sheets helplessly in fascination. Then, Arthur added a third finger, and Merlin squealed, flumping his head from where it had been attached to Arthur's lips onto the pillow, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his hands fisted into Arthur's pillow as his body shook.
"Wow," Arthur drawled, and had Merlin been able to retort, he would have, but somehow, the need to moan Arthur's name and buck his hips as Arthur massaged his prostate with three fingers was more important. Merlin just about heard Arthur moving around and even though he mewled pathetically as Arthur pulled his fingers out, his mind gave a happy squeal since this meant Arthur gripping Merlin's hip and shoving his cock in instead. He approved of that.
Arthur pressed soft kisses to the back of Merlin's neck as he rode him, sliding his hands obscenely over Merlin's thighs, his arse and his chest, smearing his spent come all over. "Arthur," Merlin managed to say his name in the most drawn out and convoluted way possible and Arthur's rhythm might possibly have broken at that. He might possibly also have sworn in disbelief into the curve of Merlin's shoulderblade at how incredibly hot Merlin was, but Merlin was too busy savouring the sensation of Arthur's cock pumping in and out of him to properly tell, so Arthur could very well easily deny it later when Merlin asked.
Broad hands reaching around to fondle Merlin's cock, Arthur teased his cock until Merlin was bucking almost hard enough to push Arthur upwards. Arthur promptly smacked Merlin on the arse, and pushed him back down again, and Merlin grizzled in despair. They both knew that if Merlin didn't want to be pushed around in this way, it wouldn't have happened, but Merlin knew that he wanted this, and quite possibly needed it too. Arthur's cock was thick and filled him up, and slipped over that precious little nib of flesh every time.
Coming again, Merlin wailed as warning to Arthur before pumping his hips forwards once, twice, thrice, four times. Liquid spilled all over Arthur's hands and irrevocably ruined his silk sheets. Merlin clenched tight around Arthur, and Arthur gasped, shoving forwards himself hard enough that Merlin splayed flat over his bed, limbs all askew as Arthur came inside him.
Arthur flopped onto the bed next to Merlin, and Merlin felt cool air wash over him. He shivered, all the slick places suddenly cold. He nuzzled at Arthur weakly with the hand closest to his face, and Arthur pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. Eventually, they shuffled closer, so that Merlin was curled into Arthur, his palms flat on Arthur's chest. "You are such a whore," Arthur grinned.
Merlin spluttered, his good mood suddenly broken as the reality of it all kicked back in. Arthur was a pimp, and slept with people who needed the money. Right. "Relax," Arthur's annoyed voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts, and Merlin grumpily thought that annoyed was supposed to be what he was. "It was a compliment." Merlin moved stiffly as Arthur pulled him closer, refusing to meet his eyes until Arthur cupped the back of his neck, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. That really was too adorable to ignore, and Merlin rolled his eyes up to look at Arthur.
"I just meant that you fuck like a whore." That statement wasn't much better, really. "Which, in this world, means you fuck really well," Arthur finished dryly. It wasn't the most romantic of declarations, Merlin supposed, but it would have to do.
"Oh," Merlin murmured.
-
When he woke up the next day, Merlin's back ached from sleeping on a different bed, his arm ached from sleeping in a convoluted position, and his arse ached like nothing else. "Fuck me," he groaned, sleepily pulling his arm over his eyes as sunlight streamed in through the window.
"Demanding bitch," a gruff voice huffed from his left somewhere, and Merlin jerked to sit up, squinting through the sunlight to look over. "Morning." It most likely wasn't anywhere near before noon, but Merlin smiled down at Arthur anyway.
"Hey." Merlin didn't quite know how to react: he didn't love Arthur, or even have an overwhelming crush on him. They were just about friends, they lived in the same house, the mood had started out comforting, and he had just had the most amazing sex to speak of. It wasn't really a situation he'd been in before.
Arthur heaved himself up too, his hair sticking out all over the place. "I'm not complaining, mind you. But I hope you're not expecting me to fuck you all the time, because I do have to work too, you know. And sleep. Sometimes." He slumped back over and pulled the covers up.
Merlin laughed, and it was all right. He slid out of the bed, wincing as his arse ached and everything felt slightly tacky and disgusting on his body. He waddled over to where his jeans were on a pile on the floor, and then gave up. "I'm using your shower," he announced, thankful that Arthur had an en-suite and he didn't have to walk upstairs covered in his own come to shower.
The shower pressure was thankfully half-decent today, and Merlin rinsed himself thoroughly. As his fingers swept across his arsehole, Merlin shuddered delightfully at the memory of last night. Arthur had been everything he had needed in that moment, someone comforting and in control. Merlin had been sick of being the responsible one, the one who organised things and made sure people were okay. Last night, Merlin hadn't had to do anything but let Arthur take over and take care of him. In his own way, Merlin smiled secretively, Arthur tried to take care of everyone in the house, but he didn't like the acknowledgement for that, and it seemed to be an unspoken thing. Merlin delighted in being part of it.
Padding out of the shower again, Merlin pulled on his pair of jeans, and then deliberately kissed Arthur on the lips. Arthur murmured in approval, and Merlin ruffled his hair. Although last night it was clear that Merlin hadn't had anyone else touch him in a long time, perhaps it had also been the first time in a long while for Arthur where it hadn't been a business transaction. "Thanks," Merlin said fondly, and Arthur cracked open one blue eye to look at him, and maybe the corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a smile. Arthur was smarter than Merlin gave him credit for.
Merlin opened the door of his room, wondering how Gwen and Lancelot had got on last night, and was greeted by the sight of them cuddled up in his bed. He smiled indulgently at first, before realising that the pile of clothes by his chair weren't his. He winced, hoping that one of them intended on washing his sheets for him before guiltily thinking that this might be his penance for ruining Arthur's sheets. Leon's position of curled up in the farthest corner with a pillow over his head was somehow now very understandable.
-
Merlin didn't notice it himself until Arthur grumpily pointed it out one day. "You're too chipper these days." They were sprawled out in Arthur's bed, Merlin flicking through a historical novel and Arthur with his laptop on his (cleaned) stomach reading the news. Arthur's sheets were ruined again, but that never stopped Arthur from buying more and using them, and that in turn never stopped Merlin coming spastically all over them, jerking and flailing his limbs.
"Hmm?" Merlin looked up, realising that he'd been humming as he read. "Am I?" He thought about it. There was a pleasant fuzzy feeling in the bottom of his stomach these days, as he set off to work with Gwen, who had to be safely out of the house before Lancelot would unlock his room. Lancelot mostly joined Gwen in bed these days, which drove Morgana to pound on Merlin's door one night clutching a pillow and demanding to sleep with Merlin, because it was all his fault, somehow.
Leon, who had opened the door to that, had gawped a bit and let her in out of sheer intimidation. Merlin had later wondered what would have happened if Leon had really obediently let a rampaging Morgana into their room to rape Merlin. Knowing Morgana, she'd have got her way. In any case, Merlin now sometimes woke up to find Morgana's hair in his mouth, and at other times he woke up in Arthur's bed, arse sore and sticky all over. Morgana liked those nights best, because she got the whole bed to herself, and Leon sure hadn't complained about now sharing a room with Morgana too. She had a habit of walking around with nothing on as she debated what to wear, and one morning, Merlin had walked in to find her in Leon's bed instead. He was sure she'd just got the beds mixed up.
Merlin hadn't considered finding somewhere new to live for weeks now, and even the prospect of filling in yet more application forms wasn't too daunting. It was, after all, just a job. What he did for a living didn't define him as a person. "Guess I am," Merlin smiled at the thought of his friends, and went back to his novel. Arthur stared at him for a while longer than that.
Life wasn't all roses, of course. Merlin went back to his room to get ready for work and found just Lancelot in the bed. He frowned: the bathroom had been empty when he'd walked past it. Merlin slung his bag over his shoulder, and wondered if Gwen was on the third floor. He found her sitting outside Lancelot's locked room in one of his shirts, arms wrapped around her knees and rocking slightly.
His first reaction was to dart forth and ask if she'd taken anything, but a second look told Merlin differently. She had her eyes shut, and her forehead was furrowed. Her lips were pursed, and Merlin could read the emotions that seeped in and out of her face: fear, longing, sadness, desperation. He sat on the floor next to her, and wrapped an arm around her. "You're just torturing yourself," Merlin said softly, hugging her to him.
Gwen leant her cheek on his shoulder. "Sometimes I have to," she answered simply. "I have to remember, or I'll lose myself." Merlin understood. The drugs had been a part of her, had dictated a large portion of her life for so long that they had shaped the current Gwen. She needed to remember the pain of what it was like to long for it all to keep up the determination to not go back there again. Merlin helped her up.
"Come on," Merlin gave her a quick cuddle, knowing that even that would make Lancelot look grumpily at him, "Let's go to work." He was taking each day as it came.
-
"I'm busy, Merlin," Arthur didn't even look up as Merlin sidled into his room without knocking. He was sitting at his desk, going over his accounts. Arthur kept meticulous records of all the money he was handed or handed over each day, commission from his people, rent and household expenses like fixing the boiler. At times, it amused Merlin to think of it as if Arthur ran his own business from home.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be finished soon," Merlin said agreeably, sliding into Arthur's lap, Arthur swatted him away, but Merlin straddled Arthur's lap, draping himself over him so that Arthur could still see his account book. "I'm horny, so let's have sex." He bounced a little on Arthur's lap. They had an extraordinarily honest relationship, although both of them preferred to call it 'blunt'. The word 'honest' implied all sorts of wholesome and healthy things about their relationship, and that just wasn't on.
Arthur carried on tallying up incoming cash, scribbling down notes with his right hand. Merlin triumphantly noticed that his left hand had cuddled itself around Merlin's waist though. He crowed silently, knowing that he had won. He nuzzled his nose into Arthur's hair. "You distracting bint," Arthur said absently, going over one sum again as Merlin made him lose count.
"Sorry," Merlin said. He wasn't sorry. He let Arthur finish that sum and write down the total before bouncing on Arthur's lap again like an overexcited toddler. "Horny," he reminded Arthur.
Clutching Merlin's arse in exasperation, Arthur tried to focus. "When did this turn into you having sex with me whenever you like? I'm sure it was meant to be the other way around." He gave up on adding in his head, and tapped away on the mostly unused calculator on his desk.
"You only get to be in charge when it's about money," Merlin said loftily. "You have sex with me because it's fantastic and I let you kiss me on the mouth. Never once heard you complain when we're having sex. Hurry up, or no kissing for you." He brushed back Arthur's hair, his gentle touch belying his matter-of-fact words. Arthur knew it was an empty threat anyway.
"You could never give up kissing me on the mouth," Arthur drawled, scrawling 'check final total' in the margin before starting on outgoing expenses. "I'll show you who's in charge." He lightly smacked Merlin's arse. He might have had a thing for Merlin's arse.
Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's shoulders and hummed happily. "Mmm, I like the sound of that." Merlin successfully distracted Arthur for a moment, kissing, using their tongues to swirl in each others' mouths, nibbling on each other's lips, sucking and generally making out like teenagers. "As for this kissing thing," he eyed Arthur, "how about I suck you off and then I let you kiss me on the mouth?"
It was Arthur's hand that betrayed him, stroking up and down Merlin's back, sliding down to squeeze Merlin's arse. "Hmmm," Arthur pretended to consider it. They hadn't done that before... yet. "I suppose," he drawled as if reluctant, closing the book and carrying an excitable Merlin to the bed. He was just going to have to tally up the rest of their expenses later. Keeping Merlin sated was such a chore.
-
As they came home that morning, Merlin was laughing with Gwen over an incident at work that night. A pair of wankered girls had wandered into their store and firstly were convinced that they didn't have enough money to pay for the packet of crisps they wanted to buy, and secondly insisted on trying to trade their shoes for it. Gwen had squealed at the counter, mortified, and one of the others had excused himself from the customer he was attending to run and fetch the shift supervisor, Merlin. It had taken Merlin a good fifteen minutes to exasperatedly convince the girls that a single pound coin was plenty to cover it, and that they should really put their shoes back on. All five night employees had their mouths stuffed with laughter as the girls finally left with their bag of crisps and their shoes.
Tumbling into the house at six am, Merlin shucked his shoes off, and it was an off-hand comment from Morgana that set the whole epiphany off. "Welcome home," she waved at them from the kitchen, busy popping mini-marshmallows into her hot chocolate just because she liked how they floated. Merlin slid his shoes into his usual spot between Tristan's and Arthur's, and realised that he had a 'usual spot' for his shoes. He smiled.
"Thanks," he waved back at Morgana, waiting for Gwen to put hers - between Lancelot's and Gareth's on the second shelf, he knew - before joining Morgana in the kitchen. He headed for the hot water, knowing that there would be enough for himself and Gwen, and made them both hot chocolate, and the three of them padded into the living room. Merlin and Gwen were usually the last home, and they generally gathered in the living at the end of their day, the beginning of most other people's.
Everyone had their 'usual spots', just like their shoes, and sometimes they just sat in amicable silence reading their individual books or magazines or chatted in small groups. Arthur lifted up one arm from his plump armchair and Merlin wriggled into the small space at his side trying not to spill the hot chocolate, which he inevitably did, and Arthur's arm plopped back down onto his shoulders.
Merlin shuffled in closer to Arthur and draped his legs all over Arthur's, pressing a chocolate-y kiss to Arthur's lips before relaxing. Welcome home indeed.
Part One
Between work and taking care of Gwen, Merlin didn't even have time to think about his housing situation. He had originally thought that he'd keep moving until he found somewhere he could feasibly call his own home, but now home was this broken down house. He hadn't even checked his flatshare websites for a few months now, and thoughts of moving out were becoming ever more scarce. In fact, when it crossed his mind now, he felt pangs of guilt that he'd be leaving Gwen behind, that maybe he would be running away from the problems.
It had been a long time since Morgana had advised him to ask Lancelot, but finally one night as Lancelot was washing his dishes and Merlin was eating, it finally felt like the right time to ask. "Why do you deal drugs?" Merlin chewed his chips thoughtfully. He thought of Gwen immediately, and then quashed the thought. Above everything, Lancelot was a decent guy and Merlin wanted to be open-minded enough to hear him out and make a judgement afterwards. He was trying, anyway.
Lancelot gave him a crooked smile. "Because it's an easy way of making money and meeting people." That was it. It was just a job. Merlin tried to wrap his thoughts around that, prolonging the silence as he chewed. It was just like sweatshop owners, in his mind - they exploited children and workers and it was just about the money. It was good business, but it was cruel in his mind. "I work with a clean conscience, Merlin," Lancelot said from the sink.
"How can you justify it?" The words came out slightly more forceful than he had thought. He had been going for curious and neutral.
Lancelot wiped his hands, and came to sit opposite Merlin. He looked at Merlin for a long time. "I asked myself the same thing for a long time. But I realised that if I couldn't justify it to myself, then I didn't stand a chance of justifying myself to other people." He sat back more comfortably, and tapped his lip. "I started doing it in uni. I got a reputation for clean stuff, safe stuff." He looked darkly at Merlin, "Some dealers just do it for the money and don't care about what they sell. They mix all sorts of things in there to water it down and make more out of the same amount. You've got to remember that no one really knows what's in the shit that they buy."
With a shrug, Lancelot waved for Merlin to come up. Merlin finished the last of his broccoli, and followed Lancelot upstairs. He'd never really been in Lancelot's room properly before. Lancelot opened the en-suit door, showing packaging and bags all over the bath. "I mix my own stuff myself. I make sure it's safe, it's clean, there are no unknown chemicals that will kill you. Everyone gets drug education in school, so all the other risks are up to you to take." Lancelot perched on the edge of the bath and looked seriously at Merlin.
"I'm not going to make someone's decision for them as they whether or not they decide to take drugs. However, I only sell to people I've already met. I have a list of clients, who'll tell me if anyone they know wants anything. I don't sell to complete strangers." Finally, Lancelot sighed, running his hands through his hair. "When it comes down to it, if I didn't sell to these people, then someone else will, and at least I trust what I put in my shit."
Merlin laughed unbelievingly. This whole situation was completely surreal, and yet... and yet, he completely understood Lancelot's justification. He nodded. "I trust you," he said. "I don't know why, you still sell drugs, but..." he shook his head. "You make sense," he smiled tiredly. He thought of Gwen. "Why don't you sell to Gwen?"
Lancelot pursed his lips, and looked down. "Because if I didn't always say 'no' to her, I would never be able to," he said quietly.
-
Merlin clenched his phone after the call finished, hearing it beep and then fall silent. He let his head fall back onto his bed, trying not to fall apart. He pressed his nails into his palm until it hurt, telling himself that he was overreacting - of course he was overreacting. Tesco was a big chain supermarket, which meant that all of the bureaucracy ran smoothly. When there was a glitch, it would be easy to fix, which meant that the delay in Merlin's wage was just temporary. He was sure that the money would come through in a couple of days. His manager was sure that all of his hours were logged, and didn't seem to know that anything was amiss.
Pulling out his old notebook where he kept notes of his spending, budgeting and income, Merlin sighed. He would have barely any money until his wages came through, but he was sure that he could survive a few days not buying anything. He'd have to tell Arthur though, just in case it took more than three days to come through, since that was when he paid his rent.
"Come in," Arthur answered Merlin's knock on his door, and Merlin stepped inside. It was the first time he'd actually been inside Arthur's room. He was surprised to see that while it was naturally of a good size, it wasn't particularly bigger than any of the other rooms. Apart from the faded wallpaper that was a dozen years out of date, it was crisp and modern. The double bed, wardrobe and desk all matched, the same dark shade of mahogany that complimented the deep red rug by the bed. Two pieces of vivid modern art hung from the walls, and his laptop was on the desk, plugged into an impressive sound system. The entire ensemble completely suited Arthur, and didn't fit into the rest of the house at all.
Merlin stood inside, feeling somehow like a schoolboy who had entered the headteacher's office. Arthur looked up from his laptop. "Hi Arthur, I just wanted to let you know in case it happened," Merlin found himself rambling from the offset. "It probably won't happen, the money will come through in time, I'm sure." Arthur's eyebrow rose. "Well, just in case it doesn't come through, I haven't been paid this month yet, so, so..." Merlin bit his lip. "I might not be able to pay you rent on time." He wasn't entirely sure how Arthur dealt with late payments.
There was a silence, and Merlin was just forming the words to tell to forget it, because he'd definitely hand rent in on time even though he wasn't entirely sure how, when Arthur stood up. "Merlin. If I let anyone in here get away with handing rent in late, I'd never get rent in." Merlin cringed, and yet he knew what Arthur meant. If he bowed every time Gwen begged 'Just another few days', he'd never get the money out of her.
"Yes, of course," Merlin found himself babbling, "Don't worry about it. I'll have it, I'm sure, I just thought I'd warn you, but it's not going to happen, of course." He made back out of Arthur's room, flustered and a bit crestfallen.
"Merlin." Arthur was walking towards him, and Merlin froze. He quashed the hope trying to spark inside him. "One of the house rules is that if you can't make rent, I give you three days to find somewhere else, and then I throw you out. It doesn't matter if you can find the money to make rent in those three days - the first deadline stands." Even as he nodded mutely, Merlin could appreciate how good a business man Arthur was.
As he looked down at the floor, polished wood unlike the rest of the house, Merlin suddenly flinched as Arthur cupped his chin with his hand. Arthur had been expecting it though, and his hand stayed firmly on Merlin's jaw as he moved. "You're attractive," Arthur said bluntly. "If I like someone, and if I'm in the mood, I might offer to buy them instead. Same going rate charged as the rest of my people at retail."
A forced laugh burst out of Merlin's throat, hearing Arthur speak so clinically, so professionally, of sex for money. "You're offering to screw me for rent," he said, voice croaking a bit.
"It's an option. Every night for a week should cover the rent." Arthur rubbed his thumb over Merlin's cheek. "Don't you think of it as a standing offer though; next time I might not feel like it." Merlin could feel his head shake, even though that wasn't what he meant to do. "Or if you don't want it to be me, someone else. Leon can take you to work with him tonight." Merlin shook his head some more. That wasn't what he meant: it wasn't about whether he found Arthur attractive or not.
Merlin could feel the heat flush curl across his face as he took Arthur's wrist, tugging it away from him. If he did that, even if he wanted to, he'd never be out of it. He'd spend the rest of his life as one of Arthur's 'people'. His head kept on shaking. "I'm not like that." He thought of Gwen, poor sweet Gwen, who tried so hard. Merlin flung his fists into the air, and would have hit Arthur if Arthur hadn't dodged backwards. "I can't, I'm not like you lot!" The words came out almost as a scream, and Merlin choked even as they came out, because he knew how horrible he sounded.
His hand dropping back down to his side, Arthur looked coolly at him as Merlin averted his eyes, not knowing how to take back his words, whether he could, or whether he even wanted to. "You're not like us in what way? You don't belong here? Do you belong with a better class of people? People who aren't the scum of society? People who have no shame, no morals?"
Arthur smiled a twisted smile that also managed to twist Merlin's heart up until he could barely breathe. "And yet here you are, living with the rest of us, working night shifts at Tesco." The words cut Merlin as nothing else could have. His face was now entirely red from frustration and embarrassment, anger and shame; his hands were curled into fists at his side, shaking.
Arthur stepped forwards, reaching past Merlin to pull his bedroom door open. "Why don't you consider it, before I don't feel like it anymore?" He said quietly as Merlin stumbled out, closing the door behind him. Merlin tumbled back up the stairs to his room. He stood in the doorway, staring at the barren room in its faded blue paint, sporting two rickety beds next to the threadbare chairs. He curled up into a ball onto his bed, the bed that wasn't even his, and wrapped himself in the duvet, angry tears leaking from his eyes.
Arthur was right. After three years of slaving away to get a good degree and working part-time to support himself so that he could get a good job and support his mother, this was all he had accumulated in to: half a rented room in a crumbling house, three suitcases of belongings and a crummy dead-end job. Merlin clung to his anger and despair, smothering himself in it like the duvet and letting the fat tears dribble down his face and soak into the duvet. His body shook with the force of his anger, but he made no noise, silently letting his hopelessness consume him.
There was no telling how long Merlin stayed like that. Eventually, the crying lessened until his eyes seeped out the occasional tear. His eyes were red and raw, and he could barely open them. His entire body ached from the tension and the shaking. It took him a while to move his body even after he wanted to, because it had locked itself into this foetal position. Finally, Merlin eased himself out of the covers, the relatively cold air of the room settling over him, helping him to calm down.
Merlin took some deep breaths, peeling the duvet, which had stuck to his sweaty frame, off and sitting up. Morgana sat on Leon's bed, legs crossed and as serene as ever. "Tea, Merlin?" She asked simply, holding out the mug she had cupped in her hands. It was testament to how self-absorbed Merlin had been that he hadn't heard her coming in. He accepted it mutely, merely nodding in thanks.
Hunching over his mug, Merlin finally unstuck his throat. "You heard from Arthur." It wasn't a question. Morgana nodded. "Sorry," he said hoarsely. Neither of them had to ask what he was apologising for.
-
"It's not that bad," Merlin cajoled Gwen, "It's long hours and it doesn't pay as well, but it's regular work and you always know you're going to be paid." He tried not to think about the scare when his money almost hadn't come through. The important thing was that it had come through, and he'd paid Arthur off without a hitch. Arthur had given him a look that implied that if Merlin wanted the extra cash though... Merlin shook his head, and returned to waving the piece of paper at Gwen. "You're practically guaranteed it," Merlin pleaded.
Gwen had cut down on her intake again, and although she always longingly looked at her phone, she would manage to text Merlin or Morgana instead. She was down to a tiny dab a day, as if even the taste of it helped her chase away the longing. Merlin was hopeful, but knew that the risk of relapsing was always there.
When he'd got the promotion to shift supervisor, which still didn't pay particularly well but at least meant that he had to deal less with drunken louts wanting peanuts at four am unless they were threatening his staff, Merlin had been told that he could hire his replacement. He knew that it was biased, but he'd taken a job application home for Gwen anyway.
It was a crappy job. Merlin had thought so when he'd worked it and he still thought so now. But he also knew that what Gwen needed was a reliable job that took up enough of her time to keep her busy. She worked for Arthur at the moment, but in her state, it had been hard to attract customers. The type of clientele a wrecked addict attracted were exactly the sort of people Arthur kept his people away from. Most of them had a known list of clients and a particular group they would appeal to, Gareth and Gawain in particular, because they were twins and that was exactly where Merlin wanted to stop thinking about that right now. Gwen didn't have any regulars to rely on.
"I'll give it a try," Gwen smiled tremulously at him. Her hand still shook traitorously halfway down the form, and although Merlin bit his lip with pity, Gwen merely shook her hand out and continued on calmly. Sometimes, Merlin just wanted to hug her for her bravery. She finished the form, and Merlin tried to squash all guilty feelings about handing a job to a friend. Gwen would do a good job if she concentrated, he knew. It was exactly the sort of thing she was good at, helping people and being helpful even before she was asked.
In the end though, Merlin knew he was justifying it, and thought of Lancelot justifying himself. He looked at Gwen, reading over the job description, simple and pathetic as it was, and firmed his heart. His conscience was clear on this one.
-
"It's not that bad, Gwen," Merlin said. He seemed to have said those words a lot in the past month. Gwen was unused to the rigidity of a shift job, used to mostly working in her own time and taking frequent breaks. The smartness of the uniform still seemed to make her uncomfortable, and the low wage wasn't helping either. She never voiced these thoughts when she was working, of course. Gwen was polite and sweet and people working the night shift adored her. The drunkards were always polite back to her, and she carried her work out faultlessly.
Merlin could see the restlessness in her eyes though. Before, Gwen could have earned in a couple of hours what she earned after a whole night's work. Arthur had given her an open offer of return if the job fell through. It had been kindness on his part, but the offer enticed Gwen, Merlin could tell. "Merlin's right," Lancelot chipped in, looking somewhat guilty. He was the worst example of someone who worked as little as possible for as much money as possible. "Just stick with it, Gwen. At least you always know you're going to get paid." He pressed a hand over hers and smiled. "We'll be here for you."
-
When Merlin found out, he found himself wounded that Gwen hadn't told him about it. In hindsight though, Merlin realised that though Gwen depended on him and Morgana for a lot of things, she was a very capable person all by herself. She merely had one fault that seemed to always drag her down, and she needed her friends for that. Merlin was maybe even more surprised that he hadn't noticed it himself, and chastised himself for not paying close enough attention to Gwen the rest of the time.
"That's great," Merlin grinned at her as she stared worriedly. He eased her concern with a massive hug. "Lancelot's a wonderful guy." He was the first man that Gwen had found herself interested in since she'd worked for Arthur. He was the first man interested in her and wasn't flashing money at her for it. Merlin rolled the idea around in his head and laughed. Strangely enough, they were ridiculously well suited to each other, in a strange way.
"Okay," Gwen smiled beatifically at him, glad that he had her approval, and Merlin smothered a giggle as Lancelot joined them in the living room, shyly easing himself first onto the same sofa as them, and the awkwardly shuffling along until he was next to Gwen, and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her face glowed, and Merlin felt his heart thump proudly for her.
Merlin shot Lancelot one of those 'You'd better not hurt her or I will slice your penis off' looks anyway, and Lancelot nodded seriously back at him. Merlin left them to it, after that, delighted for both his friends.
-
It was impossible, of course, for things to stay that easy. Gwen had fled out of Lancelot's room into Merlin's that very evening. Leon had taken one look at the desperate, wretched face on Gwen's face and fled himself, retreating to the kitchen with his book and an awkward pat on Merlin's shoulder. Gwen crumpled onto Merlin's shoulder, wearing just her underwear, and Merlin would have felt more awkward if she hadn't looked so in pain.
"What's wrong, Gwen? Did he hurt you?" Merlin asked immediately, gathering her in his arms and then bundling her into the comfortable duvet.
Gwen shook her head, her mass of hair bouncing wildly. "No, nothing like that," she gasped. She opened her eyes to finally look into Merlin's eyes, and it was that hunger, that craving, as strong as it had been when Gwen had been using, and everything clicked into place at once.
"Oh, Gwen," Merlin said hopelessly, pulling her into his arms for a hug. Of course, Lancelot's room would be the worst possible place for a recovering addict.
Gwen's eyes leaked tears. "It was... so close." The longing in her voice was evident, and Merlin was proud that she had pulled herself away in time.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Lancelot appeared in Merlin's doorway, his appearance dishevelled as if he'd barely paused to pull some clothes back on before running after Gwen. He held out a dress for her, and she pulled it on awkwardly from Merlin's arms. "It's all locked up. You can't see it now."
Gwen shifted over to gently squeeze his hand. Lancelot looked so miserable. "It's not your fault," she said, her voice still shaky from her self-control evaporating in the face of temptation. "It's me, I'm so weak." She laughed a little bit, a bare ghost of her normal laugh. "It'll be fine. I mean, it's not at the moment, but it will be. Yeah."
"I'm going to get a cup of tea," Merlin said firmly, pushing Lancelot down to sit next to Gwen. "And you two are going to talk it out and sort out how it's going to work." They laughed, and he left them. He let his calm demeanour fall off as he closed the door breathing heavily and walking downstairs with shaky legs.
Although Merlin did stop off in the kitchen for a cup of tea first, he took it into the sitting room, brooding over it. He hadn't seen that look in Gwen's eyes for a long while now, and Merlin had perhaps hoped that he'd never see it again. It must have been tough for Morgana, who had seen Gwen look almost complete and then fail yet again for so many more times than he had.
-
Merlin huddled in the large armchair, his arms wrapped around a cushion. He closed his eyes, trying let the stress seep out of him, but it just didn't seem possible. It was all sticking together like taffy, rolling together until it all settled as a large uncomfortable lump in his gut.
"That's my armchair." The voice made Merlin look up. Arthur looked down as him impassively, and then pointed. "You're in my armchair." It wasn't really Arthur's, but if he was in the room then whoever had been in it would automatically give it up for him.
"Why don't you take a sofa," Merlin replied, his voice steely. "It might actually fit your ego on it." He was grumpy, and wanted some space to think alone, so of course Arthur had to come in and ruin it all, poke at him, see how far he could be pushed. Merlin sighed, burying his head in the cushion. His head shot back up with a glower on as he was pushed sideways, until there was enough space on his left for Arthur to slide into the armchair as well.
Merlin's arms squeezed the life out of that cushion. "You are just insufferable," he ground his teeth together. He was about to storm off, and was half out of the bloody armchair, which Arthur could just keep if it mattered that much, when Arthur pulled him back down again. "What are you doing?!" Merlin exploded, twisting to look at Arthur with his face contorted into fury.
"Hug?" Arthur looked remarkable unruffled.
"Do I look like I need a fucking hug?!" Merlin snapped, swearing for possibly the first time since he had come to live here.
Arthur put his arms around Merlin, keeping him there as he struggled. "Yes," he said simply. He held onto Merlin until Merlin stopped trying to squirm out of his grasp, until Merlin stilled, and then finally fisted his hands into Arthur's shirt and slumped into him, body shaking.
"It's so hard," Merlin whispered into the collar of Arthur's shirt, "It's so hard, and it hurts." Arthur pulled Merlin further onto the armchair, rocking him slightly and letting him talk it out. "And I don't want to give up on her."
"I know," Arthur whispered back, his breath hot and sad on Merlin's ear. "But she'll be okay. She's going to be okay." He ran his hand through Merlin's hair, combing it out and smoothing it over. Hunith used to do that when Merlin was young. "She's going to be okay, and it's all thanks to you, Merlin."
Merlin gasped, rubbing his face into Arthur's shirt as if trying to wipe his memory. There were images of Gwen running through his head. How hungry she had looked when she saw the little bags of white powder, how pained when she tried to stop herself. How disappointed in herself she had been when she finally held one in her hands, and yet at the same time so eager and keen. The strongest image was none of these though. It was of how happy she looked, how peaceful, blissful she was in those few short hours when the bag lay empty on the floor, a light trace of powder still around her nose.
Arthur let Merlin choke it all out, gasp out all his fears in terrified whispers until he had nothing more to say. He pulled Merlin into his lap as Merlin clung to him, so scared and so unsure of what to do. "Almost everything you think," Arthur said in a low voice, "will probably happen. But it means that you're prepared for it, Merlin. You can't let it get the better of you, or Gwen." Merlin nodded into Arthur's shoulder. "And I'll be here. And Morgana will be here, and Lancelot will be here." He pulled his arms tighter around Merlin as if to demonstrate that.
"'M sorry," Merlin mumbled into Arthur's shoulder. "It just... it was just too much."
"It's okay." Arthur stroked Merlin's back and then scooped Merlin into his arms. "Come on. Let's get you more comfortable." He carried Merlin as if he weighed nothing, and Merlin let him, leaning exhaustedly into Arthur. They made it to Arthur's bedroom, and Arthur plopped him down on the bed before climbing up to lie next to him. "Calm down and relax," Arthur advised gently, wrapping his arms around Merlin and leaning in. He pressed a little kiss to Merlin's lips, reassuring and soft. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Merlin sighed into Arthur's neck. He lay there, blinking up at Arthur as Arthur brushed his hair back from his face before craning his neck down and gently nuzzling at Merlin's lips before planting a kiss on them. Arthur's lips were comforting and slightly chapped. He suckled Merlin's lower lip into his warm mouth, and Merlin let his mouth drop slightly open in the process. He sighed into the sensation, closing his eyes as Arthur's fingers skated over his face, tracing his cheekbones until they framed his face. Arthur pulled back, and Merlin looked up at him, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Thank you."
-
It was, Merlin knew, an act of comfort and not of passion. However, as Arthur slid his tongue into Merlin's mouth and lapped at his tongue, Merlin arched into the motion, pressing his entire body closer to Arthur's. It just felt right. Arthur's large hands traced down from Merlin's shoulders, down his back to massage his arse. Merlin sighed into it, and slid his foot up the back of Arthur's leg until his leg was hooked over Arthur's hip.
"You want this, right?" Arthur's voice was low, dangerous. "I don't want to have to live with you afterwards if you're going to be regretting it and awkward afterwards." He stared down at Merlin, his blue eyes serious as he rested his hands on Merlin's backside.
"I know what I'm doing," Merlin smoothed back a lock of blond hair from Arthur's face. He could see Arthur's hesitation though - all bets were off now that it wasn't for money, or rent. Making the first move, Merlin peeled off his t-shirt, and then started on the buttons of Arthur's shirt, kissing first his neck and then his way down as he bared more of Arthur's skin.
It took only a moment of Merlin being in charge before Arthur took over though. He pulled the rest of his shirt of easily, and they parted for a moment to squirm out of their trousers. Merlin shivered a little bit as he eyed the bulge in Arthur's underwear, and reached out to softly stroke it. Arthur watched him, before claiming his mouth again. Merlin breathed heavily as Arthur roughly kissed him, leaving his lips red and puffy.
Arthur's hands were on the move again, roaming all over Merlin's skin and he gasped. It had been a long while since someone had touched him like this, not since he had been living with Edwin. He and Edwin were never together, but they had occasionally had sex. Merlin's heartbeat sped up at the memory of sex, and the realisation of something new, and startling, that wasn't his own hand. He groaned, feeling himself start to grow hard just from the thought of it, and all of a sudden, he wanted it. He wanted sex, and he wanted Arthur, and he had never known how much he missed it until he got it back.
The irony of how similar this was to Gwen's craving struck a chord within Merlin, but he pressed those thoughts aside. He leaned into Arthur's kisses, encouraging them with movements of his head, his mouth wide and open for Arthur's tongue to explore. His hands pressed over Arthur's body, so familiar in its masculinity but so different to his own. Arthur was more well-built, and Merlin traced his fingers over the muscles that lay where he just had bone. Merlin flicked Arthur's nipples, and Arthur growled at him, before nibbling on his earlobe. He felt Arthur's breath, hot and wet and heady, on his ear, and a whimper escaped him before he even realised that the noise had been himself.
Arthur's fingers pressed into the soft flesh of Merlin's thigh, and he made a little noise of longing. "You good?" Arthur asked gruffly as he moved his fingers higher and Merlin started to tense up. Merlin wasn't tensing up because he didn't want this though - this was his body's natural reaction to the stimulation, where he would freeze lest he move and disturb the sensation that felt so damn good.
"It's been a while," Merlin admitted, pressed his lips onto Arthur for more kisses, "but yeah, god. Good." He laughed shakily, clinging onto Arthur as Arthur finally peeled Merlin's underwear off. He kicked it down from where it hooked around his knee, and raised his hips to meet Arthur's hand as he massaged Merlin's balls. It was a bit like feeling like a virgin all over again, new and exciting and sensations he'd forgotten he could even feel.
Merlin slipped into a daze of pleasure as Arthur pressed his hands all over his groin, sliding his fingers under him to caress his hole, or his fingers grasping his half-hard cock that was getting harder with every touch, or even just the light flicker of fingers across his hips. It had been, Merlin surmised, far too long. Merlin was brought back as suddenly Arthur's finger slipped up his arse, slippery and cold.
"Ahh!" Merlin gasped, his relaxed body clenching around Arthur's finger, and he murmured again at how good that felt.
"God," Arthur laughed at him, but moved his finger in and out slowly anyway, accommodating Merlin. "A long while, yeah?" Merlin nodded wordlessly as Arthur stared predatorily down at him, working his way up to a second finger, pushing inside Merlin as his body struggled to keep up. Merlin could feel that he was a tiny bit too tight, and Arthur's fingers burned. He gasped, trying to rock his hips in time to help, but truthfully, the pain felt good. He wanted it.
Clasping Arthur's wrist, Merlin stopped his hand movement. Arthur stared quizzically down at Merlin as he tried not to keep shoving his hips down onto Arthur's hand for long enough to try and piece his words together. "I'm ready. Now." He knew that Arthur was doubtful, but Merlin pressed his fingers into Arthur's jaw, strong and determined. "I'm ready," he repeated breathlessly, spreading his legs and hooking them over Arthur's hips, tugging insistently.
"If you say so," Arthur snorted, shucking off his underwear with one smooth movement that Merlin couldn't have even tried to emulate and reaching for a condom. Merlin groaned at the sight of Arthur's cock, stiff and upright. The sight of his cock, ready to take him, brought back more memories, and Merlin licked his lips in anticipation. Arthur positioned himself, and Merlin shuddered a little as Arthur's tip brushed him.
There wasn't any time to think about the small movements after that, because Arthur seemingly took him as his word, and shoved himself unceremoniously in. "Ahh!" Merlin cried out, his body spasming around Arthur, and Merlin tightened his grip on Arthur's shoulders partly in case Arthur got the wrong idea and tried to pull back out, and partly because he just needed something to hold on to.
"Yes," choked Merlin, and that was all it took to reassure Arthur, who pulled back in and slammed back into Merlin hard enough to shift him two inches up the bed. Arthur picked a fast pace, shoving up as far inside Merlin as he could. Merlin let his mouth hang open, breathy pants escaping as he just hung on as best as he could for the ride.
It hurt, and it was fantastic. Merlin's body screamed at him every time Arthur stretched him some more. Arthur was thicker, fuller than anyone Merlin had had sex with before, and it was exactly what he wanted, what he needed right now. Merlin thrashed on the bed, his hips bucking to meet Arthur, desperate for more, harder, right there.
Arthur's hips slid smoothly between Merlin's thighs, his balls hitting the back of Merlin's arse every second, and Merlin lost himself in that rhythm. Arthur stretched him, and filled him, and then Arthur's hand was on his cock, gripping firmly and putting pressure on just all the right places. Merlin whimpered, entire body locked into place as he didn't dare move and ruin it all. Chuckling, Arthur pressed sloppy kisses to Merlin's lips, down his neck, and back on his lips again. He could hear Arthur panting and swallowed Arthur's groans and growls greedily.
It was embarrassing, really. Merlin felt the telltale build up of pressure in his groin, and batted at Arthur's arm, trying to make him stop. Arthur was having none of that though, and carried on. Merlin keened, his hips falling out of rhythm and stuttering as the pleasure overwhelmed him. His legs jerked, out of his control, and if Arthur hadn't had him pinned down, Merlin would have bucked off the bed completely. "Well, come on then," he heard Arthur's voice, mocking and lusty, and Arthur's hand tightened around his cock and twisted as he jerked, and Merlin couldn't help but come with a shout.
Merlin lay on the bed, chest heaving in his post-coital gaze, and found Arthur smirking up over him. His cheeks flamed red and he shut his eyes. Merlin felt like a horny teenager all over again. "A really, really long while, eh?"
Arthur laughed, before spreading his legs again and slipping back in. Merlin moaned a little, having forgotten that just because he had epically had an orgasm barely minutes into the sex that Arthur hadn't come yet. "A really, really long while," he mumbled in admission, his body still jerking a bit.
This time, the pace was less rough, but still fast, and Merlin rocked into it, helpless against the rub of pleasure that Arthur created inside it. "You don't let up, do you?" He gasped, his cock twitching feebly.
"You wanted hard and fast," Arthur drawled, angling his hips so that his cock could rub against Merlin's prostate. Merlin pressed a hand to his lips, but a little wanton moan still escaped through his fingers. Arthur seemed disinclined to let Merlin revel in his post-coital bliss, his hands groping Merlin's arse and his tongue swirling around Merlin's nipple. "You got what you wanted, and now I get what I want." Merlin lay limply as Arthur stole his pleasure from him, and somehow couldn't find it in him to complain, especially as his body started recovering enough to seemingly be interested in another round.
"God," Merlin whimpered, sliding his arms across Arthur's firm chest and over his shoulders, one hand tangling in the ruffle of golden hair. Merlin understood then that even though he'd been demanding, that Arthur really had been taking it easy on him, for as soon as he seemed interested again, Arthur gripped Merlin's thighs, lifting him and almost throwing him so that his back hit the headboard.
Merlin barely had enough time to recover his wind before Arthur was all over him, gripping the back of his thighs and forcing his legs up and apart. He thrust his cock back inside Merlin, whose arsehole was slick and loose and welcoming now. Merlin's legs ached with being forced that far apart, and his back hurt from where he'd been thrown into the goddamn wall, and his jaw ached from Arthur's fierce kissing, and he mewled, and he loved it all.
It was easy to tell when Arthur was getting close, because he sped up until Merlin could barely breathe. He tried to squirm, to thrash, to beg for more, but Arthur held him firmly in place at Arthur's mercy and Arthur's pleasure. Merlin tugged at his own cock with a franticness that he never felt when he was by himself, in the dark. His fingers teased over his slit, and he rubbed at the underside of the head, which was almost too sensitive to be pleasurable.
Arthur came. He came with a grunt, shoved deep inside Merlin and Merlin felt the hot burst inside him. His fingers stuttered on his own cock and Arthur took up the slack, teasing his head until Merlin came again, just moments later. Merlin only became aware of his own heavy breathing when he noticed Arthur's heavy breathing, sweat making his tanned skin look even more delectable.
Still pinned to the headboard, Merlin finally felt Arthur let go of his legs, and he let them drop, Arthur's hips still snugly in between and Arthur slumped over Merlin. "Slutty," Arthur said, his tone admiring as he pulled away with a groan, disposing of the condom with an aimed lob across the room. Merlin flushed indignantly and was about to push away until he realised that it wasn't an insult.
Pulling Merlin down the bed with him so that they could lie down properly on it, Arthur chuckled, and traced a finger over the swell of Merlin's arsecheek. Merlin's breathing evened out as he took in the sight before him. Arthur, tanned and muscled, sprawled on the bed, his cock flopping over his leg. His hair was tousled from Merlin pulling on it and he looked unbearably smug.
He was allowed, Merlin supposed, to look unbearably smug since he had just made Merlin come all over both their chests. Twice. He stared at Arthur, and considered the idea of doing that all again. His body certainly approved. In fact, his body would very much consider doing it all again right now, despite being exhausted and with none of his bits working properly. Gwen's addiction again popped into Merlin's mind as he stared at Arthur's body and realised that he craved it, right now even though he couldn't manage an erection if he tried. His ears burned with embarrassment and shame and want, and he didn't care.
Arthur rolled over to loom over Merlin, and Merlin squeaked. He saw Arthur grin, and knew that Arthur had found it adorable. Damn. Arthur rubbed noses with him for a moment, before pressing their lips together. It was different to earlier. More lingering and massaging, and Merlin opened his eyes to look at Arthur afterwards with curiosity, only then realising that he had even shut his eyes in the first place.
"Since you're all out of embarrassing reactions and confessions for now, I suppose I'll have to admit that I don't get to kiss people on the lips very often," Arthur said dryly. Oh. Merlin remembered that Leon had said something like that before - prostitutes didn't kiss on the lips: it was too personal. No wonder Arthur seemed to relish claiming his mouth.
Merlin huffed, "Well, I suppose I'll just have to put with that." Arthur snorted, and tweaked his nipple. Merlin squeaked (again, damn it) and Arthur took the opportunity to stick his tongue into Merlin's mouth.
-
As they slowly kissed some more and relaxed on Arthur's bed though, Merlin was sorely mistaken if he thought Arthur was done with him. During one particularly long kiss, where their tongues were lapping at each other, Arthur's hand slowly crept down Merlin's arse, and he slipped a finger in. "Mmmrgh!" Merlin made a muffled protest, but Arthur was still pinning him down and he refused to stop kissing. Merlin panted into Arthur's mouth, his oversensitised body rocking against Arthur's hip as Arthur gently teased Merlin open again.
This time, Arthur took great pains to stretch Merlin fully before adding another, his fingers now rotating and scissoring. Arthur shifted him, pushing his leg over so that he was on his front even though his head was still craned around for Arthur to kiss. Merlin raised his arse into the air, and Arthur nudged his knee so that it slipped on the silk sheets, effectively sliding his legs apart.
Concentrating on making Merlin as slippery and open as possible, Arthur ignored Merlin's pleas to just fuck him already. Merlin's hips tried to pump up and down, but a hand on the small of his back kept him down, and Arthur watched him rutting his erect cock against the sheets helplessly in fascination. Then, Arthur added a third finger, and Merlin squealed, flumping his head from where it had been attached to Arthur's lips onto the pillow, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his hands fisted into Arthur's pillow as his body shook.
"Wow," Arthur drawled, and had Merlin been able to retort, he would have, but somehow, the need to moan Arthur's name and buck his hips as Arthur massaged his prostate with three fingers was more important. Merlin just about heard Arthur moving around and even though he mewled pathetically as Arthur pulled his fingers out, his mind gave a happy squeal since this meant Arthur gripping Merlin's hip and shoving his cock in instead. He approved of that.
Arthur pressed soft kisses to the back of Merlin's neck as he rode him, sliding his hands obscenely over Merlin's thighs, his arse and his chest, smearing his spent come all over. "Arthur," Merlin managed to say his name in the most drawn out and convoluted way possible and Arthur's rhythm might possibly have broken at that. He might possibly also have sworn in disbelief into the curve of Merlin's shoulderblade at how incredibly hot Merlin was, but Merlin was too busy savouring the sensation of Arthur's cock pumping in and out of him to properly tell, so Arthur could very well easily deny it later when Merlin asked.
Broad hands reaching around to fondle Merlin's cock, Arthur teased his cock until Merlin was bucking almost hard enough to push Arthur upwards. Arthur promptly smacked Merlin on the arse, and pushed him back down again, and Merlin grizzled in despair. They both knew that if Merlin didn't want to be pushed around in this way, it wouldn't have happened, but Merlin knew that he wanted this, and quite possibly needed it too. Arthur's cock was thick and filled him up, and slipped over that precious little nib of flesh every time.
Coming again, Merlin wailed as warning to Arthur before pumping his hips forwards once, twice, thrice, four times. Liquid spilled all over Arthur's hands and irrevocably ruined his silk sheets. Merlin clenched tight around Arthur, and Arthur gasped, shoving forwards himself hard enough that Merlin splayed flat over his bed, limbs all askew as Arthur came inside him.
Arthur flopped onto the bed next to Merlin, and Merlin felt cool air wash over him. He shivered, all the slick places suddenly cold. He nuzzled at Arthur weakly with the hand closest to his face, and Arthur pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. Eventually, they shuffled closer, so that Merlin was curled into Arthur, his palms flat on Arthur's chest. "You are such a whore," Arthur grinned.
Merlin spluttered, his good mood suddenly broken as the reality of it all kicked back in. Arthur was a pimp, and slept with people who needed the money. Right. "Relax," Arthur's annoyed voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts, and Merlin grumpily thought that annoyed was supposed to be what he was. "It was a compliment." Merlin moved stiffly as Arthur pulled him closer, refusing to meet his eyes until Arthur cupped the back of his neck, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. That really was too adorable to ignore, and Merlin rolled his eyes up to look at Arthur.
"I just meant that you fuck like a whore." That statement wasn't much better, really. "Which, in this world, means you fuck really well," Arthur finished dryly. It wasn't the most romantic of declarations, Merlin supposed, but it would have to do.
"Oh," Merlin murmured.
-
When he woke up the next day, Merlin's back ached from sleeping on a different bed, his arm ached from sleeping in a convoluted position, and his arse ached like nothing else. "Fuck me," he groaned, sleepily pulling his arm over his eyes as sunlight streamed in through the window.
"Demanding bitch," a gruff voice huffed from his left somewhere, and Merlin jerked to sit up, squinting through the sunlight to look over. "Morning." It most likely wasn't anywhere near before noon, but Merlin smiled down at Arthur anyway.
"Hey." Merlin didn't quite know how to react: he didn't love Arthur, or even have an overwhelming crush on him. They were just about friends, they lived in the same house, the mood had started out comforting, and he had just had the most amazing sex to speak of. It wasn't really a situation he'd been in before.
Arthur heaved himself up too, his hair sticking out all over the place. "I'm not complaining, mind you. But I hope you're not expecting me to fuck you all the time, because I do have to work too, you know. And sleep. Sometimes." He slumped back over and pulled the covers up.
Merlin laughed, and it was all right. He slid out of the bed, wincing as his arse ached and everything felt slightly tacky and disgusting on his body. He waddled over to where his jeans were on a pile on the floor, and then gave up. "I'm using your shower," he announced, thankful that Arthur had an en-suite and he didn't have to walk upstairs covered in his own come to shower.
The shower pressure was thankfully half-decent today, and Merlin rinsed himself thoroughly. As his fingers swept across his arsehole, Merlin shuddered delightfully at the memory of last night. Arthur had been everything he had needed in that moment, someone comforting and in control. Merlin had been sick of being the responsible one, the one who organised things and made sure people were okay. Last night, Merlin hadn't had to do anything but let Arthur take over and take care of him. In his own way, Merlin smiled secretively, Arthur tried to take care of everyone in the house, but he didn't like the acknowledgement for that, and it seemed to be an unspoken thing. Merlin delighted in being part of it.
Padding out of the shower again, Merlin pulled on his pair of jeans, and then deliberately kissed Arthur on the lips. Arthur murmured in approval, and Merlin ruffled his hair. Although last night it was clear that Merlin hadn't had anyone else touch him in a long time, perhaps it had also been the first time in a long while for Arthur where it hadn't been a business transaction. "Thanks," Merlin said fondly, and Arthur cracked open one blue eye to look at him, and maybe the corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a smile. Arthur was smarter than Merlin gave him credit for.
Merlin opened the door of his room, wondering how Gwen and Lancelot had got on last night, and was greeted by the sight of them cuddled up in his bed. He smiled indulgently at first, before realising that the pile of clothes by his chair weren't his. He winced, hoping that one of them intended on washing his sheets for him before guiltily thinking that this might be his penance for ruining Arthur's sheets. Leon's position of curled up in the farthest corner with a pillow over his head was somehow now very understandable.
-
Merlin didn't notice it himself until Arthur grumpily pointed it out one day. "You're too chipper these days." They were sprawled out in Arthur's bed, Merlin flicking through a historical novel and Arthur with his laptop on his (cleaned) stomach reading the news. Arthur's sheets were ruined again, but that never stopped Arthur from buying more and using them, and that in turn never stopped Merlin coming spastically all over them, jerking and flailing his limbs.
"Hmm?" Merlin looked up, realising that he'd been humming as he read. "Am I?" He thought about it. There was a pleasant fuzzy feeling in the bottom of his stomach these days, as he set off to work with Gwen, who had to be safely out of the house before Lancelot would unlock his room. Lancelot mostly joined Gwen in bed these days, which drove Morgana to pound on Merlin's door one night clutching a pillow and demanding to sleep with Merlin, because it was all his fault, somehow.
Leon, who had opened the door to that, had gawped a bit and let her in out of sheer intimidation. Merlin had later wondered what would have happened if Leon had really obediently let a rampaging Morgana into their room to rape Merlin. Knowing Morgana, she'd have got her way. In any case, Merlin now sometimes woke up to find Morgana's hair in his mouth, and at other times he woke up in Arthur's bed, arse sore and sticky all over. Morgana liked those nights best, because she got the whole bed to herself, and Leon sure hadn't complained about now sharing a room with Morgana too. She had a habit of walking around with nothing on as she debated what to wear, and one morning, Merlin had walked in to find her in Leon's bed instead. He was sure she'd just got the beds mixed up.
Merlin hadn't considered finding somewhere new to live for weeks now, and even the prospect of filling in yet more application forms wasn't too daunting. It was, after all, just a job. What he did for a living didn't define him as a person. "Guess I am," Merlin smiled at the thought of his friends, and went back to his novel. Arthur stared at him for a while longer than that.
Life wasn't all roses, of course. Merlin went back to his room to get ready for work and found just Lancelot in the bed. He frowned: the bathroom had been empty when he'd walked past it. Merlin slung his bag over his shoulder, and wondered if Gwen was on the third floor. He found her sitting outside Lancelot's locked room in one of his shirts, arms wrapped around her knees and rocking slightly.
His first reaction was to dart forth and ask if she'd taken anything, but a second look told Merlin differently. She had her eyes shut, and her forehead was furrowed. Her lips were pursed, and Merlin could read the emotions that seeped in and out of her face: fear, longing, sadness, desperation. He sat on the floor next to her, and wrapped an arm around her. "You're just torturing yourself," Merlin said softly, hugging her to him.
Gwen leant her cheek on his shoulder. "Sometimes I have to," she answered simply. "I have to remember, or I'll lose myself." Merlin understood. The drugs had been a part of her, had dictated a large portion of her life for so long that they had shaped the current Gwen. She needed to remember the pain of what it was like to long for it all to keep up the determination to not go back there again. Merlin helped her up.
"Come on," Merlin gave her a quick cuddle, knowing that even that would make Lancelot look grumpily at him, "Let's go to work." He was taking each day as it came.
-
"I'm busy, Merlin," Arthur didn't even look up as Merlin sidled into his room without knocking. He was sitting at his desk, going over his accounts. Arthur kept meticulous records of all the money he was handed or handed over each day, commission from his people, rent and household expenses like fixing the boiler. At times, it amused Merlin to think of it as if Arthur ran his own business from home.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be finished soon," Merlin said agreeably, sliding into Arthur's lap, Arthur swatted him away, but Merlin straddled Arthur's lap, draping himself over him so that Arthur could still see his account book. "I'm horny, so let's have sex." He bounced a little on Arthur's lap. They had an extraordinarily honest relationship, although both of them preferred to call it 'blunt'. The word 'honest' implied all sorts of wholesome and healthy things about their relationship, and that just wasn't on.
Arthur carried on tallying up incoming cash, scribbling down notes with his right hand. Merlin triumphantly noticed that his left hand had cuddled itself around Merlin's waist though. He crowed silently, knowing that he had won. He nuzzled his nose into Arthur's hair. "You distracting bint," Arthur said absently, going over one sum again as Merlin made him lose count.
"Sorry," Merlin said. He wasn't sorry. He let Arthur finish that sum and write down the total before bouncing on Arthur's lap again like an overexcited toddler. "Horny," he reminded Arthur.
Clutching Merlin's arse in exasperation, Arthur tried to focus. "When did this turn into you having sex with me whenever you like? I'm sure it was meant to be the other way around." He gave up on adding in his head, and tapped away on the mostly unused calculator on his desk.
"You only get to be in charge when it's about money," Merlin said loftily. "You have sex with me because it's fantastic and I let you kiss me on the mouth. Never once heard you complain when we're having sex. Hurry up, or no kissing for you." He brushed back Arthur's hair, his gentle touch belying his matter-of-fact words. Arthur knew it was an empty threat anyway.
"You could never give up kissing me on the mouth," Arthur drawled, scrawling 'check final total' in the margin before starting on outgoing expenses. "I'll show you who's in charge." He lightly smacked Merlin's arse. He might have had a thing for Merlin's arse.
Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's shoulders and hummed happily. "Mmm, I like the sound of that." Merlin successfully distracted Arthur for a moment, kissing, using their tongues to swirl in each others' mouths, nibbling on each other's lips, sucking and generally making out like teenagers. "As for this kissing thing," he eyed Arthur, "how about I suck you off and then I let you kiss me on the mouth?"
It was Arthur's hand that betrayed him, stroking up and down Merlin's back, sliding down to squeeze Merlin's arse. "Hmmm," Arthur pretended to consider it. They hadn't done that before... yet. "I suppose," he drawled as if reluctant, closing the book and carrying an excitable Merlin to the bed. He was just going to have to tally up the rest of their expenses later. Keeping Merlin sated was such a chore.
-
As they came home that morning, Merlin was laughing with Gwen over an incident at work that night. A pair of wankered girls had wandered into their store and firstly were convinced that they didn't have enough money to pay for the packet of crisps they wanted to buy, and secondly insisted on trying to trade their shoes for it. Gwen had squealed at the counter, mortified, and one of the others had excused himself from the customer he was attending to run and fetch the shift supervisor, Merlin. It had taken Merlin a good fifteen minutes to exasperatedly convince the girls that a single pound coin was plenty to cover it, and that they should really put their shoes back on. All five night employees had their mouths stuffed with laughter as the girls finally left with their bag of crisps and their shoes.
Tumbling into the house at six am, Merlin shucked his shoes off, and it was an off-hand comment from Morgana that set the whole epiphany off. "Welcome home," she waved at them from the kitchen, busy popping mini-marshmallows into her hot chocolate just because she liked how they floated. Merlin slid his shoes into his usual spot between Tristan's and Arthur's, and realised that he had a 'usual spot' for his shoes. He smiled.
"Thanks," he waved back at Morgana, waiting for Gwen to put hers - between Lancelot's and Gareth's on the second shelf, he knew - before joining Morgana in the kitchen. He headed for the hot water, knowing that there would be enough for himself and Gwen, and made them both hot chocolate, and the three of them padded into the living room. Merlin and Gwen were usually the last home, and they generally gathered in the living at the end of their day, the beginning of most other people's.
Everyone had their 'usual spots', just like their shoes, and sometimes they just sat in amicable silence reading their individual books or magazines or chatted in small groups. Arthur lifted up one arm from his plump armchair and Merlin wriggled into the small space at his side trying not to spill the hot chocolate, which he inevitably did, and Arthur's arm plopped back down onto his shoulders.
Merlin shuffled in closer to Arthur and draped his legs all over Arthur's, pressing a chocolate-y kiss to Arthur's lips before relaxing. Welcome home indeed.