[fic] Marru U - SuJu
Title: Marry U
Rating: PG
Pairing: KiHae, KangTeuk, Ninji!pairings...well, not really.
Summary: Donghae hates losing.
Notes: This is what happens to my brain when I study too much.
Donghae is not a loser. He hated losing. So when he found that KiHae was number two on the list of most popular couples in Super Junior (just winning against ShiHanChul by a margin of point two percent, nevermind that it was a threesome and not a couple), he was crushed. How could he lose to Eeteuk and Kangin? Granted, they were hyungs and he should really just let it go, but Donghae is not a loser and he hates losing, so he won't lose, not even to his hyungs.
"Kibum. We have to do better!" Donghae nods determinately at his friend, hand clenched into a fist in a gesture of spirit and the will to win. "We must take the title of best couple of Super Junior next month!"
"Um...Donghae I don't--" Kibum wasn't able to finish his sentence as he was swept into an embrace, a camera rolling on them just in time.
Three weeks later and a dozen close encounters with Donghae's lips, Kibum found himself comforting his friend as the other slumped against the hallway wall. "It's okay, Donghae. Number two is always good."
"No it's not!" Donghae huffed, furious that the KiHae Couple was not number one, despite all his attempts to make it look like he was kissing Kibum. He thought that fangirls liked that sort of thing. But he guessed because the KangTeuk Couple were practically married...
"That's it!" Donghae shot to his feet and hauled Kibum up to stand beside him, holding the younger's shoulders with eyes positively glowing. "Let's get married!"
"Donghae, we're--" There was no stopping Donghae this time as he pulled Kibum over to Eeteuk.
"Umma. I want to get married to Kibum, is that okay?" Donghae asked in all seriousness. He was going to be number one, single or not!
"Um...sure?" Eeteuk blinked before a smile spread across his face. "But you should go ask your Appa first, yes?"
"Okay!" Donghae saluted and dragged Kibum behind him, who was silently asking God why there wasn't anyone to save him.
It's because Shiwon's in China, isn't it? he frowned at the ceiling when he got no answer.
"APPA!" Kangin turned from the television to see Donghae dragging a praying Kibum over to him. "Can we get married?"
"Um...sure?" Kangin responded, confused. "Did you ask your Umma first?" Donghae had to give them that one. No wonder the KangTeuk Couple was number one! They gave the same answers to the same questions!
"Kibum, we must strive to be better than Umma and Appa!" Donghae turned to the other boy. "We have to have the same answers to the same questions!"
"Kibum, do you want some coffee?" Yehsung questioned when he stepped out of the kitchen, blinking when he realized that Donghae had Kibum's collar fisted in his hand while he punched at the sky with enthusiasm. "Oh, sorry."
"Yes! Coffee!" Kibum answered just as Donghae was saying. "Ew! Coffee!"
Donghae frowned at that. "Kibum-ah! We're supposed to say the same thing at the same time! It's ruined if you don't!" Kibum was about to say something along the lines that they didn't have to be the same all the time when Donghae went off on his usual rant about being number one and Yehsung inched over to whisper into Kibum's ear. "Has he been taking lessons from Kangin?"
Kibum would have to agree; all the shouting and yelling and energy had to be from their Appa. How else would one explain Donghae's obsession with being number one?
"Ah!" Donghae turned to Yehsung, who had yet to leave, startling the dark-headed boy. "You're Christian, right, Yehsung?"
"Yeah, and?" Yehsung didn't get it.
"Well, since Shiwon's in China, I need you to marry us!"
"I don't think that's how it works, Donghae..." Yehsung tried to protest, but Donghae would have nothing of it.
"RYEOWOOKIE. KYUHYUNIE!" The shout rattled the dorm and the two said boys came running out only to stop dead when they realized that it was just Donghae.
"He got that one from Umma." Kibum heard Yehsung whisper loudly.
"I need you two to bear witness to me and Kibummie's wedding."
"Uh...okay?" Kyuhyun blinked at them. Ryeowook blinked with Kyuhyun. "Who's the priest?"
"Yehsung."
"You're a priest?" Ryeowook asked Yehsung, who shrugged.
"Shiwon's in China." Ryeowook nodded in understanding. Yehsung sighed. "So are we going to do this or not?"
"Wait, I still need a flowergirl and rings! Oh, and a best man!" Dongahe was ticking things off of a mental list. "And a bridesmaid and...um..."
"A cameraman?" Ryeowook suggested and shrank back behind Kyuhyun when Kibum glared at him.
"Yes! A cameraman!" Donghae nodded with enthusiasm. "SHINDONG-HYUNG, CAN YOU BRING ME A CAMERA?!"
Shindong peaked out of his room. "What about this one?" He asked, holding up a camcorder.
"That's great. Now come record my wedding." Donghae made a motion with his hand. Kibum had long since given up on arguing and just stayed limp, allowing Donghae to keep a hold on his collar so long as said hold didn't choke him to death. But then again, death didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment.
"Did I hear something about a wedding?" Heechul poked his head in.
"Oh, hyung! Can you be my bridesmaid?" Donghae asked.
"No. I'm not going to be the bridesmaid." Heechul snorted. "I'll be the flowerman, because I'm beautiful like that."
No one tried to make sense of that. "I'll be the bridesmaid!" Sungmin piped up from where he had joined in after being roused by the first two shouts of his bandmate's names. "And Eunhyukkie can be the best man!" He pulled said dancer out of the place where he was hiding behind the couch.
Donghae nodded in agreement, watching as his wedding was planned. He was definitely going to win the best couple this time. "I still need..."
"Rings?" Umma questioned, handing Eunhyuk a matching pair of toy rings as he went to take a seat next to Kangin, who was watching everything with a slight raise of an eyebrow. Heechul had already gotten out rose petals and was practicing his throw. Sungmin was putting on makeup while Yehsung had somehow found a priest's outfit somewhere hidden in their reject costume pile.
"Now I need someone to lead--"
"Oh, I get to lead Kibummie down the isle!" Eeteuk jumped off his seat and claimed Kibum out of Donghae's grasp, hugging the younger in a grip that would have been fatal had Kibum not been already half choked to death by Donghae. "Kangin, you get Donghae."
"But I wanted Kibum." Kangin pouted and Eeteuk shook a finger at him. "Too bad. The father always has to lead the bride down the isle."
Donghae watched the two carefully, making sure to get it right. If he was to be a bride, he had to learn how to control his groom like Umma did. Only perfect couples with controlling Umma's got first place. Just look at JaeJoongie and Yunho. Perfect.
"Okay, places!" Yehsung called, all too into the whole priest thing to really be healthy. Everyone got into place without much of a fuss, except for Kibum, who was still in denial.
"We are all gathered here today to join Lee Donghae and Kim Kibum in holy matrimony," Yehsung began. "If there's anyone here who protests to this, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
Kibum tried to raise his hand, but both of them were too busy being held in Donghae's deathgrip.
"So Kibum, do you?" Kibum opened his mouth and Donghae answered. "He does!"
"Donghae, do you?"
"Of course!"
"I now pronounce you husband and...er...husband. You may kiss the...er...each other." Donghae gleefully leaned forward and Kibum closed his eyes, hoping beyond hope that this was just a bad dream and he'd wake up---
To find Shiwon hovering over his bed. "Kibum? Are you okay? You were groaning in your sleep."
"Shiwon?" Kibum blinked and looked around, confused.
"We're in Thailand. For the CF shoot?" Shiwon backed away and out of Kibum's immediate sight. "Hurry, we have to leave in an hour."
Kibum sat up on his elbows to see Shiwon move around their hotel room, getting ready for the day, thankful that it was all a dream.
So there was a god.
His cell rang and Kibum reached for it and flipped it open, not bothering to look at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"KIBUM. HONEY. WHERE ARE YOU? WE GET MARRIED AND YOU RUN OFF IN THE MORNING. WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND ARE YOU? I--"
Kibum clicked the phone off. Shiwon looked at him with pitying eyes.
"At least he didn't fly after you," Shiwon said optimistically just as there was a pound at the door.
"KIBUM!"
Rating: PG
Pairing: KiHae, KangTeuk, Ninji!pairings...well, not really.
Summary: Donghae hates losing.
Notes: This is what happens to my brain when I study too much.
Donghae is not a loser. He hated losing. So when he found that KiHae was number two on the list of most popular couples in Super Junior (just winning against ShiHanChul by a margin of point two percent, nevermind that it was a threesome and not a couple), he was crushed. How could he lose to Eeteuk and Kangin? Granted, they were hyungs and he should really just let it go, but Donghae is not a loser and he hates losing, so he won't lose, not even to his hyungs.
"Kibum. We have to do better!" Donghae nods determinately at his friend, hand clenched into a fist in a gesture of spirit and the will to win. "We must take the title of best couple of Super Junior next month!"
"Um...Donghae I don't--" Kibum wasn't able to finish his sentence as he was swept into an embrace, a camera rolling on them just in time.
Three weeks later and a dozen close encounters with Donghae's lips, Kibum found himself comforting his friend as the other slumped against the hallway wall. "It's okay, Donghae. Number two is always good."
"No it's not!" Donghae huffed, furious that the KiHae Couple was not number one, despite all his attempts to make it look like he was kissing Kibum. He thought that fangirls liked that sort of thing. But he guessed because the KangTeuk Couple were practically married...
"That's it!" Donghae shot to his feet and hauled Kibum up to stand beside him, holding the younger's shoulders with eyes positively glowing. "Let's get married!"
"Donghae, we're--" There was no stopping Donghae this time as he pulled Kibum over to Eeteuk.
"Umma. I want to get married to Kibum, is that okay?" Donghae asked in all seriousness. He was going to be number one, single or not!
"Um...sure?" Eeteuk blinked before a smile spread across his face. "But you should go ask your Appa first, yes?"
"Okay!" Donghae saluted and dragged Kibum behind him, who was silently asking God why there wasn't anyone to save him.
It's because Shiwon's in China, isn't it? he frowned at the ceiling when he got no answer.
"APPA!" Kangin turned from the television to see Donghae dragging a praying Kibum over to him. "Can we get married?"
"Um...sure?" Kangin responded, confused. "Did you ask your Umma first?" Donghae had to give them that one. No wonder the KangTeuk Couple was number one! They gave the same answers to the same questions!
"Kibum, we must strive to be better than Umma and Appa!" Donghae turned to the other boy. "We have to have the same answers to the same questions!"
"Kibum, do you want some coffee?" Yehsung questioned when he stepped out of the kitchen, blinking when he realized that Donghae had Kibum's collar fisted in his hand while he punched at the sky with enthusiasm. "Oh, sorry."
"Yes! Coffee!" Kibum answered just as Donghae was saying. "Ew! Coffee!"
Donghae frowned at that. "Kibum-ah! We're supposed to say the same thing at the same time! It's ruined if you don't!" Kibum was about to say something along the lines that they didn't have to be the same all the time when Donghae went off on his usual rant about being number one and Yehsung inched over to whisper into Kibum's ear. "Has he been taking lessons from Kangin?"
Kibum would have to agree; all the shouting and yelling and energy had to be from their Appa. How else would one explain Donghae's obsession with being number one?
"Ah!" Donghae turned to Yehsung, who had yet to leave, startling the dark-headed boy. "You're Christian, right, Yehsung?"
"Yeah, and?" Yehsung didn't get it.
"Well, since Shiwon's in China, I need you to marry us!"
"I don't think that's how it works, Donghae..." Yehsung tried to protest, but Donghae would have nothing of it.
"RYEOWOOKIE. KYUHYUNIE!" The shout rattled the dorm and the two said boys came running out only to stop dead when they realized that it was just Donghae.
"He got that one from Umma." Kibum heard Yehsung whisper loudly.
"I need you two to bear witness to me and Kibummie's wedding."
"Uh...okay?" Kyuhyun blinked at them. Ryeowook blinked with Kyuhyun. "Who's the priest?"
"Yehsung."
"You're a priest?" Ryeowook asked Yehsung, who shrugged.
"Shiwon's in China." Ryeowook nodded in understanding. Yehsung sighed. "So are we going to do this or not?"
"Wait, I still need a flowergirl and rings! Oh, and a best man!" Dongahe was ticking things off of a mental list. "And a bridesmaid and...um..."
"A cameraman?" Ryeowook suggested and shrank back behind Kyuhyun when Kibum glared at him.
"Yes! A cameraman!" Donghae nodded with enthusiasm. "SHINDONG-HYUNG, CAN YOU BRING ME A CAMERA?!"
Shindong peaked out of his room. "What about this one?" He asked, holding up a camcorder.
"That's great. Now come record my wedding." Donghae made a motion with his hand. Kibum had long since given up on arguing and just stayed limp, allowing Donghae to keep a hold on his collar so long as said hold didn't choke him to death. But then again, death didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment.
"Did I hear something about a wedding?" Heechul poked his head in.
"Oh, hyung! Can you be my bridesmaid?" Donghae asked.
"No. I'm not going to be the bridesmaid." Heechul snorted. "I'll be the flowerman, because I'm beautiful like that."
No one tried to make sense of that. "I'll be the bridesmaid!" Sungmin piped up from where he had joined in after being roused by the first two shouts of his bandmate's names. "And Eunhyukkie can be the best man!" He pulled said dancer out of the place where he was hiding behind the couch.
Donghae nodded in agreement, watching as his wedding was planned. He was definitely going to win the best couple this time. "I still need..."
"Rings?" Umma questioned, handing Eunhyuk a matching pair of toy rings as he went to take a seat next to Kangin, who was watching everything with a slight raise of an eyebrow. Heechul had already gotten out rose petals and was practicing his throw. Sungmin was putting on makeup while Yehsung had somehow found a priest's outfit somewhere hidden in their reject costume pile.
"Now I need someone to lead--"
"Oh, I get to lead Kibummie down the isle!" Eeteuk jumped off his seat and claimed Kibum out of Donghae's grasp, hugging the younger in a grip that would have been fatal had Kibum not been already half choked to death by Donghae. "Kangin, you get Donghae."
"But I wanted Kibum." Kangin pouted and Eeteuk shook a finger at him. "Too bad. The father always has to lead the bride down the isle."
Donghae watched the two carefully, making sure to get it right. If he was to be a bride, he had to learn how to control his groom like Umma did. Only perfect couples with controlling Umma's got first place. Just look at JaeJoongie and Yunho. Perfect.
"Okay, places!" Yehsung called, all too into the whole priest thing to really be healthy. Everyone got into place without much of a fuss, except for Kibum, who was still in denial.
"We are all gathered here today to join Lee Donghae and Kim Kibum in holy matrimony," Yehsung began. "If there's anyone here who protests to this, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
Kibum tried to raise his hand, but both of them were too busy being held in Donghae's deathgrip.
"So Kibum, do you?" Kibum opened his mouth and Donghae answered. "He does!"
"Donghae, do you?"
"Of course!"
"I now pronounce you husband and...er...husband. You may kiss the...er...each other." Donghae gleefully leaned forward and Kibum closed his eyes, hoping beyond hope that this was just a bad dream and he'd wake up---
To find Shiwon hovering over his bed. "Kibum? Are you okay? You were groaning in your sleep."
"Shiwon?" Kibum blinked and looked around, confused.
"We're in Thailand. For the CF shoot?" Shiwon backed away and out of Kibum's immediate sight. "Hurry, we have to leave in an hour."
Kibum sat up on his elbows to see Shiwon move around their hotel room, getting ready for the day, thankful that it was all a dream.
So there was a god.
His cell rang and Kibum reached for it and flipped it open, not bothering to look at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"KIBUM. HONEY. WHERE ARE YOU? WE GET MARRIED AND YOU RUN OFF IN THE MORNING. WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND ARE YOU? I--"
Kibum clicked the phone off. Shiwon looked at him with pitying eyes.
"At least he didn't fly after you," Shiwon said optimistically just as there was a pound at the door.
"KIBUM!"