Did you know?
Sometimes I crash.
It doesn't take much. Just a thought, or a few words can cause a terrific weight to slam down on my chest. My mood plummets into a dark abyss of negative energy, and the world ceases to spin.
I've dealt with these crashes for years.
Sometimes they are all but crippling.
I've considered the possibility that I need medication .... after all, my father and one of my brothers both take prescription medication for bipolar and anxiety. But I've never taken that step, because I don't want a label. And, let's face it .... I've always been able to manage it well enough to survive.
Tonight, I suffered a crash. It came without warning, and dealt a harsh blow. Before I could catch myself, I was over the edge and dragging her with me. I was able to dig my fingernails into the side of the cliff, and stop my fall .... slowly scratching and clawing my way back to safety. I've never been able to do that before her.....that's the kind of strength she somehow gives to me.
Exhausted from the effort, I decided to go back through her journal ..... just a few weeks of entries, looking for something I remember reading. I found it, from August, and I truly hope she doesn't mind me reposting it....
Did you know?
by derelictxdreams
Did you know I watch your mouth as you speak?
I watch your lips as they part,
I watch your tongue as it forms the words.
I watch your teeth as your voice makes its escape.
“My mind wanders”
Words true enough
But did you know it wanders to the curve of your lip?
To the feel of your mouth against mine.
To the feel of your teeth against my neck
And your tongue as it follows the contour of my body.
It wanders to your whispers in my ear.
And the goosebumps that arise when you send chills racing down my spine.
Did you know that when you take my hand, the world disappears?
That your touch sends my thoughts scattering into disarray.
That the feel of your skin against mine makes it difficult for me to breathe
Did you know that there are times that you capture me with a look,
That your eyes are so blue, so intense, that I don’t hear you?
I don’t hear anything
Did you know that I savor the way you taste?
I breathe in each & every kiss and commit them to memory.
Did you know your voice causes my heart to race,
And that I’ve memorized the tones that indicate your highs & lows?
So that even the slightest change in pitch causes my heart to skip a beat.
Did you know that you have consumed me body, mind, heart, & soul?
Did you know I belong to you, that you own me?
Did you know that if I don’t end this now, I’d sit here all day?
That I have a million tiny confessions I could add to this list. Did you know?
When you have someone in your life that feels that way about you ..... then there is absolutely NO excuse to ever be depressed.
So I picked myself up off the ground, dusted myself off, and made a promise to myself to never let this happen again.
It doesn't take much. Just a thought, or a few words can cause a terrific weight to slam down on my chest. My mood plummets into a dark abyss of negative energy, and the world ceases to spin.
I've dealt with these crashes for years.
Sometimes they are all but crippling.
I've considered the possibility that I need medication .... after all, my father and one of my brothers both take prescription medication for bipolar and anxiety. But I've never taken that step, because I don't want a label. And, let's face it .... I've always been able to manage it well enough to survive.
Tonight, I suffered a crash. It came without warning, and dealt a harsh blow. Before I could catch myself, I was over the edge and dragging her with me. I was able to dig my fingernails into the side of the cliff, and stop my fall .... slowly scratching and clawing my way back to safety. I've never been able to do that before her.....that's the kind of strength she somehow gives to me.
Exhausted from the effort, I decided to go back through her journal ..... just a few weeks of entries, looking for something I remember reading. I found it, from August, and I truly hope she doesn't mind me reposting it....
Did you know?
by derelictxdreams
Did you know I watch your mouth as you speak?
I watch your lips as they part,
I watch your tongue as it forms the words.
I watch your teeth as your voice makes its escape.
“My mind wanders”
Words true enough
But did you know it wanders to the curve of your lip?
To the feel of your mouth against mine.
To the feel of your teeth against my neck
And your tongue as it follows the contour of my body.
It wanders to your whispers in my ear.
And the goosebumps that arise when you send chills racing down my spine.
Did you know that when you take my hand, the world disappears?
That your touch sends my thoughts scattering into disarray.
That the feel of your skin against mine makes it difficult for me to breathe
Did you know that there are times that you capture me with a look,
That your eyes are so blue, so intense, that I don’t hear you?
I don’t hear anything
Did you know that I savor the way you taste?
I breathe in each & every kiss and commit them to memory.
Did you know your voice causes my heart to race,
And that I’ve memorized the tones that indicate your highs & lows?
So that even the slightest change in pitch causes my heart to skip a beat.
Did you know that you have consumed me body, mind, heart, & soul?
Did you know I belong to you, that you own me?
Did you know that if I don’t end this now, I’d sit here all day?
That I have a million tiny confessions I could add to this list. Did you know?
When you have someone in your life that feels that way about you ..... then there is absolutely NO excuse to ever be depressed.
So I picked myself up off the ground, dusted myself off, and made a promise to myself to never let this happen again.