2600 miles, or "Alone never felt so...alone."
I was snapped awake this morning by the loudest thunder I have ever heard ....... the initial crack shook the entire house, and every inhabitant was instantly awakened. Then it continued to rumble for at least a minute afterwards, the entire time it took me to throw on pants and get to the kids rooms to sooth their fears. The lightning that created the sound must have hit very close, although I never heard sirens. Perhaps it struck the water?
Now, rain is slamming against the roof and windows with fury. And I'm awake for the day.
Not that I was sleeping that well, anyway. Monica is 2,600 miles away in Ireland on a trip she planned with a friend long before she knew me. She doesn't return for a week, and I have been pretending that it's the week with three kids that has caused my sad and depressed mood. But, it isn't.
Since we "met" last February, there has never been more than a 5 hour period without at least a text message. We have been in constant communication, and I mean that as literal as it can be. Tens of thousands of text messages, hundreds of pages of emails, and of course, we've been living together for two months, spending every waking and non-working hour together. So, to suddenly go 8 days with no communication except a short Facebook chat whenever she happens upon a wi-fi signal is extremely hard to adjust to.
Not to sound over-dramatic ... but I just really ...miss... her.
And this rain [I love rain, I love the sound, I love the grey, I love the darkness that settles over the world when the clouds obscure the sun] is not helping one bit. It makes me miss her terribly. It is suffocating, almost, how much the rain reminds me of her and makes my heart sad that she is not asleep in the bedroom, waiting for me to crawl in beside her to hold her tight throughout the night.
The rain is ours, but it's falling on only me.
I've planned distractions for the entire week. Last night, the kids and I watched Transformers, the start of a 6 night man-movie-fest. Tonight, we watch Revenge of the Fallen, followed by Dark of the Moon tomorrow night. Then Iron Man 1 & 2 Friday and Saturday, finishing up with the Incredible Hulk on Sunday. I have the ability to get lost in movies, stealing a couple hours away from the depression that has settled quite heavily over my heart.
I dropped her at the airport only 36 hours ago .....
it's amazing how much I miss her, how much I dread the next half a million ticks of the clock.
She promises to never leave like this again, and I believe her.
Now, rain is slamming against the roof and windows with fury. And I'm awake for the day.
Not that I was sleeping that well, anyway. Monica is 2,600 miles away in Ireland on a trip she planned with a friend long before she knew me. She doesn't return for a week, and I have been pretending that it's the week with three kids that has caused my sad and depressed mood. But, it isn't.
Since we "met" last February, there has never been more than a 5 hour period without at least a text message. We have been in constant communication, and I mean that as literal as it can be. Tens of thousands of text messages, hundreds of pages of emails, and of course, we've been living together for two months, spending every waking and non-working hour together. So, to suddenly go 8 days with no communication except a short Facebook chat whenever she happens upon a wi-fi signal is extremely hard to adjust to.
Not to sound over-dramatic ... but I just really ...miss... her.
And this rain [I love rain, I love the sound, I love the grey, I love the darkness that settles over the world when the clouds obscure the sun] is not helping one bit. It makes me miss her terribly. It is suffocating, almost, how much the rain reminds me of her and makes my heart sad that she is not asleep in the bedroom, waiting for me to crawl in beside her to hold her tight throughout the night.
The rain is ours, but it's falling on only me.
I've planned distractions for the entire week. Last night, the kids and I watched Transformers, the start of a 6 night man-movie-fest. Tonight, we watch Revenge of the Fallen, followed by Dark of the Moon tomorrow night. Then Iron Man 1 & 2 Friday and Saturday, finishing up with the Incredible Hulk on Sunday. I have the ability to get lost in movies, stealing a couple hours away from the depression that has settled quite heavily over my heart.
I dropped her at the airport only 36 hours ago .....
it's amazing how much I miss her, how much I dread the next half a million ticks of the clock.
She promises to never leave like this again, and I believe her.