Photos, or "Everyone but me..."
Rain is pouring down outside my window, and my allergies are making my eyes feel like I've been sprayed with mace. I could have used more sleep, or at least a few shots of espresso intravenously. It's Friday, but even that is no consolation, just means I'm closer to a full day home with the 3 monsters running around. And Monica put McDonald's frappe in my brain before she left.
Last night I had another one of my "insecurity meltdowns", but to my credit, I tried really hard to keep it all to myself. But in the end, I wasn't allowed to stay silent .... so two hours were lost to the futile attempt we make to understand each other's approach to the issue. I realize I'll never truly be understood, so I'm trying to broaden my mind and accept the things that make me uncomfortable. I'll be a better person for it, some day. If I survive the road from here to there.
She always seems to know all the right things to say, to bring me back away from the ledge. She knows how to break through, to speak my language, to calm my ridiculous over-reactions. I know she cares, and I know what she says is true. If it weren't, she would have abandoned this project a long time ago. So, I trust her, and I trust what she says, even when it seems like my insides are burning.
And ultimately, I am proud of her.
If it requires my acceptance of certain things to prove it, then I accept them.
As long as everything she said last night remains true ... as long as her eyes remain fixed on us ... then I can overcome this inner turmoil.
As long as she allows me to be the one beside her, then that is where I will be. Every time. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
As long as she only needs me.
Last night I had another one of my "insecurity meltdowns", but to my credit, I tried really hard to keep it all to myself. But in the end, I wasn't allowed to stay silent .... so two hours were lost to the futile attempt we make to understand each other's approach to the issue. I realize I'll never truly be understood, so I'm trying to broaden my mind and accept the things that make me uncomfortable. I'll be a better person for it, some day. If I survive the road from here to there.
She always seems to know all the right things to say, to bring me back away from the ledge. She knows how to break through, to speak my language, to calm my ridiculous over-reactions. I know she cares, and I know what she says is true. If it weren't, she would have abandoned this project a long time ago. So, I trust her, and I trust what she says, even when it seems like my insides are burning.
And ultimately, I am proud of her.
If it requires my acceptance of certain things to prove it, then I accept them.
As long as everything she said last night remains true ... as long as her eyes remain fixed on us ... then I can overcome this inner turmoil.
As long as she allows me to be the one beside her, then that is where I will be. Every time. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
As long as she only needs me.