just the sound of her voice...
Makes my ears bleed. Figuratively, of course. I don't want to be here. I want to go home, turn on Sex in the City or Elizabeth or Ally McBeal and have the only distraction after a gruelingly hectic week at work be the sound of Kiri's collar bling as she readjusts herself on my feet. Is this too much to ask? I wouldn't know--I didn't actually raise the point. I hardly ever raise the point anymore. Ask some of my friends and they'll tell you I'm a take no bullshit, tough as nails, independent broad. Really? To be honest, I don't think I've ever been independent. I just used to be much better at hiding it. Not so much anymore. And now, when it's basically gane point match, I want to reclaim that girl I remember from a life-time ago--not just with the fire in her eyes but with the fire in her gutt too. How did it happen that what I think, feel, and need is either wrong or less important? When did I lose the ability to stand up for myself and to believe that it's ok to be me? I guess it was probably about the same time that I stopped respecting myself. I wish I knew how that actually happened.