An unsure future
Dear Die-ry,
~It seems as of late its back to the old way my life goes. One big step forward means losing one thing in order to go forward. At this point it deals with my relationship with my gf Charlene. I love her and miss her dearly as we only now get to see each other about once a month. If much it all really started when she got hired to a job she's been looking for a paid EMS position. I was happy for her due to the fact that she would be getting further in her chosen career and would get great practice in her field for when she wanted to move to a more reputable EMS Service. However due to her work and school schedule and my work schedule we hardly see each other not to mention barely speak to each other at this point.
~I am saddened that the gf I loved is slowly growing apart from me in more then one way. I need to talk to her desperatly about this as its been gnawing at me that I feel my eyes been wandering more since I barely see my "GF". I am scared however of completely losing her...if the worst happens and we decide its better to break up I am thinking I still want to be friends. I have invested a decent chunk of time into our relationship and if anything I would like to keep some sliver of it open. Id hate to be like all my other gfs where we break up and not even a friendship can be salvaged. The only gf I never even wanted a friendship with was Erica and that was the only time I didnt want to remain friends with an ex.
~Moving on however the issue that is the problem is basically seeing each other. When we actually spend time with each other its great and we click very well. When we don't spend anytime together I mean its like we lose whole moments and grow steadily apart since we are seemingly headed in two different directions. It's way early to say to move in together and both of us have to much in our own places to get up and just go. It's also hard for me to be feeling this way and feeling like I am slowly moving on without any idea where too.
~My job is slowly changing and I feel more responsibilities put on my shoulders and am gaining a glimpse into what I'll be doing. It's nothing more to me at least what I have become accustomed to do just at a slightly elevated pace. Which at this point is a lil stressful cuz I am feeling its been dumped into my lap. This just adds to my idea with my gf and I growing apart my job maybe turning into a career and I have no idea whats happening. Just feeling like my future just became very unsure to say the least.
~It seems as of late its back to the old way my life goes. One big step forward means losing one thing in order to go forward. At this point it deals with my relationship with my gf Charlene. I love her and miss her dearly as we only now get to see each other about once a month. If much it all really started when she got hired to a job she's been looking for a paid EMS position. I was happy for her due to the fact that she would be getting further in her chosen career and would get great practice in her field for when she wanted to move to a more reputable EMS Service. However due to her work and school schedule and my work schedule we hardly see each other not to mention barely speak to each other at this point.
~I am saddened that the gf I loved is slowly growing apart from me in more then one way. I need to talk to her desperatly about this as its been gnawing at me that I feel my eyes been wandering more since I barely see my "GF". I am scared however of completely losing her...if the worst happens and we decide its better to break up I am thinking I still want to be friends. I have invested a decent chunk of time into our relationship and if anything I would like to keep some sliver of it open. Id hate to be like all my other gfs where we break up and not even a friendship can be salvaged. The only gf I never even wanted a friendship with was Erica and that was the only time I didnt want to remain friends with an ex.
~Moving on however the issue that is the problem is basically seeing each other. When we actually spend time with each other its great and we click very well. When we don't spend anytime together I mean its like we lose whole moments and grow steadily apart since we are seemingly headed in two different directions. It's way early to say to move in together and both of us have to much in our own places to get up and just go. It's also hard for me to be feeling this way and feeling like I am slowly moving on without any idea where too.
~My job is slowly changing and I feel more responsibilities put on my shoulders and am gaining a glimpse into what I'll be doing. It's nothing more to me at least what I have become accustomed to do just at a slightly elevated pace. Which at this point is a lil stressful cuz I am feeling its been dumped into my lap. This just adds to my idea with my gf and I growing apart my job maybe turning into a career and I have no idea whats happening. Just feeling like my future just became very unsure to say the least.