Bowl Movement-- Movement 4
Movement 4
Lots to touch on today, so I’m gonna jump right into it…
1. I was wondering if Madonna picked up that little kid she bought…errrrrrr… “ADOPTED”… on Amazon.com, but then I realized the Amazon is in South America, and not Africa, thus making the preceding joke quite unfunny.
2. If I had known that poor little brown baby boys fetched 3 million bucks from spoiled over indulged “stars”, I might have quit both of my jobs, left shit in Dylan’s diapers long enough to draw some flies around him, and gotten a really good tan 12 years ago…..But then I realized it’s not cool for those spoiled overindulged “stars” to adopt poor little brown baby boys that were born IN THIS COUNTRY…
3. The Departed was an OUTSTANDING talking motion picture…Perhaps the best movie I’ve watched in the cinema in years... As the Beastie Boys like to say, “Check, check, check, check, check, it out.”
4. After watching said movie, I will reiterate how much I like the city of Boston… we just gotta figure out a way to get rid of the Sox and the Patriots.
5. Spending Christmas through New Year’s back home in NYC for the FIRST TIME IN 14 YEARS….. VERY EXCITED.
6. So it seems Whitney Houston has filed for divorce just ONE MONTH after separating from Bobby Brown…I really thought those 2 crazy kids were gonna make it… make it all the way to a double OD or murder suicide… Oh well… There’s always Tara Reid and whomever she’s shagging at the moment.
7. The Dow Jones industrial average hit the 12 thousand mark today, yet somehow I don’t expect to hear that fat jerkoff Michael Moore stop talking about the Republicans destroying the economy.
8. When will people realize that the economy is cyclical? It can sustain NEITHER extended growth NOR recession for too long. It is INATE. Democratic messiah Sweet Dick Willie (sorry… just watched Do the Right Thing again) Bill Clinton was no more responsible for the economic UPTURN of the 90’s than Democratic pariah Jimmy Carter was for the economic CRISIS of the late 70’s/early 80’s… It is simply a matter of what goes up must come down… and then…it goes back up again…but in the case of the economy, whomever is in charge when it happens, is either a hero or an idiot.
9. I predict that Brooke Hogan will have a #1 single right around the time I take over for Katie Couric as host of the CBS evening news.
10. And finally…yet most annoyingly… the city of Attleboro Massachusetts, has adopted a measure that will now BAN….wait for it…… the games of TAG, and TOUCH FOOTBALL at recess in public schools for fear of a lawsuit…
And people wonder why 2 bit sawed off jackasses like Kim il Jung and the lot of them think we are a bunch of tree hugging, pansy ass, pussies who they should not be afraid of… BECAUSE THEY’RE RIGHT….
No fucking tag??? KIDS CAN NOT PLAY TAG?????
What the fuck is this country coming to? It’s bad enough we have plastic swing sets and rubber tire pieces littering the ground of every play set in America, because GASP….. God forbid a little kid fell and skinned his fucking knee, who would we sue then?
Let me tell you something. When I was 5 years old, I got EVERY FUCKING TOOTH in the front of MY MOUTH knocked out by a METAL SWING in a NY CITY park… Did my mother SUE NYC???? Of course not…My teeth grew back and are perfectly straight, no braces needed thank you very much, and once I stopped bleeding all over the concrete and crying, my mother beat my ass, but you know what??? It taught me to NOT RUN IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING SWINGS BECAUSE I MIGHT GET HURT.
Few years later, my cousin Jimmy got hit in the eye with a metal swing in a NY CITY park, 46 stitches, and plastic surgery in the corner of his eye. Another millimeter and he would have lost the eye… Did Aunt Dorothy SUE NYC??? No. Of course not… As soon as he got the patch off his eye and could see again, Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Tony BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR NOT REMEMBERING WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS COUSIN LENNY WHEN THEY WERE 5, and running in front of the GOD DAMN SWINGS.
And people can’t understand why the world hates us…. Fuck… a few more stupid ass laws like this and I may start to hate us too….
I am now sufficiently pissed off… I am going to lunch.
Lots to touch on today, so I’m gonna jump right into it…
1. I was wondering if Madonna picked up that little kid she bought…errrrrrr… “ADOPTED”… on Amazon.com, but then I realized the Amazon is in South America, and not Africa, thus making the preceding joke quite unfunny.
2. If I had known that poor little brown baby boys fetched 3 million bucks from spoiled over indulged “stars”, I might have quit both of my jobs, left shit in Dylan’s diapers long enough to draw some flies around him, and gotten a really good tan 12 years ago…..But then I realized it’s not cool for those spoiled overindulged “stars” to adopt poor little brown baby boys that were born IN THIS COUNTRY…
3. The Departed was an OUTSTANDING talking motion picture…Perhaps the best movie I’ve watched in the cinema in years... As the Beastie Boys like to say, “Check, check, check, check, check, it out.”
4. After watching said movie, I will reiterate how much I like the city of Boston… we just gotta figure out a way to get rid of the Sox and the Patriots.
5. Spending Christmas through New Year’s back home in NYC for the FIRST TIME IN 14 YEARS….. VERY EXCITED.
6. So it seems Whitney Houston has filed for divorce just ONE MONTH after separating from Bobby Brown…I really thought those 2 crazy kids were gonna make it… make it all the way to a double OD or murder suicide… Oh well… There’s always Tara Reid and whomever she’s shagging at the moment.
7. The Dow Jones industrial average hit the 12 thousand mark today, yet somehow I don’t expect to hear that fat jerkoff Michael Moore stop talking about the Republicans destroying the economy.
8. When will people realize that the economy is cyclical? It can sustain NEITHER extended growth NOR recession for too long. It is INATE. Democratic messiah Sweet Dick Willie (sorry… just watched Do the Right Thing again) Bill Clinton was no more responsible for the economic UPTURN of the 90’s than Democratic pariah Jimmy Carter was for the economic CRISIS of the late 70’s/early 80’s… It is simply a matter of what goes up must come down… and then…it goes back up again…but in the case of the economy, whomever is in charge when it happens, is either a hero or an idiot.
9. I predict that Brooke Hogan will have a #1 single right around the time I take over for Katie Couric as host of the CBS evening news.
10. And finally…yet most annoyingly… the city of Attleboro Massachusetts, has adopted a measure that will now BAN….wait for it…… the games of TAG, and TOUCH FOOTBALL at recess in public schools for fear of a lawsuit…
And people wonder why 2 bit sawed off jackasses like Kim il Jung and the lot of them think we are a bunch of tree hugging, pansy ass, pussies who they should not be afraid of… BECAUSE THEY’RE RIGHT….
No fucking tag??? KIDS CAN NOT PLAY TAG?????
What the fuck is this country coming to? It’s bad enough we have plastic swing sets and rubber tire pieces littering the ground of every play set in America, because GASP….. God forbid a little kid fell and skinned his fucking knee, who would we sue then?
Let me tell you something. When I was 5 years old, I got EVERY FUCKING TOOTH in the front of MY MOUTH knocked out by a METAL SWING in a NY CITY park… Did my mother SUE NYC???? Of course not…My teeth grew back and are perfectly straight, no braces needed thank you very much, and once I stopped bleeding all over the concrete and crying, my mother beat my ass, but you know what??? It taught me to NOT RUN IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING SWINGS BECAUSE I MIGHT GET HURT.
Few years later, my cousin Jimmy got hit in the eye with a metal swing in a NY CITY park, 46 stitches, and plastic surgery in the corner of his eye. Another millimeter and he would have lost the eye… Did Aunt Dorothy SUE NYC??? No. Of course not… As soon as he got the patch off his eye and could see again, Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Tony BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR NOT REMEMBERING WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS COUSIN LENNY WHEN THEY WERE 5, and running in front of the GOD DAMN SWINGS.
And people can’t understand why the world hates us…. Fuck… a few more stupid ass laws like this and I may start to hate us too….
I am now sufficiently pissed off… I am going to lunch.