So they've noticed...
I wonder how they figured that out.
This is a follow up to the frisbee thing.
They've taken notice I defriended all of them (not to mention leaving every group involved with them) and they seem confused by this.
Now I kinda feel bad, but at the same time I can't afford to. That last year with them was awful. I honestly don't know why I bothered cause it was just bad. Sure I had my moments but for the most part I felt underappreciated and left out all over. I'm going to list all the reasons I dislike them in an lj-cut just in case you were wondering how I came to this choice and for myself to put things into perspective.
-They would never invite me out any places unless it was related to the entire team itself. Honestly they'd always go into town and stuff with one another and never seem to involve me. The times they bothered to call me up they'd already left and expected me to venture out for them. They once called a little before midnight telling me to come to somebody's house (who I didn't know) and to hurry because the party was about to end. Um...why'd you wait so long? You expect me to just run down like that? We aren't that close for me to up and do that.
-They found a lot of my interests strange and liked to poke fun at me for it. And it wasn't like they were just busting my chops about it, it made me feel bad for liking these things.
-I have no idea how it started but they'd poke fun at that whole ninja thing I did. To be honest I didn't start that. I think somebody suggested I was like a ninja and maybe I brought that up a few times as a joke and then they just took it quite far. At that point I brought it up seriously just to annoy them in my own little way.
-When going on tournaments with them I got to sleep in a bed at the hotels once in that entire 2 years I was with them. Once! I slept on the floor the rest of the time. Sure it was fun a few times but for the most part it sucked being on these trips. Especially in the last year. They barely used me and as a result my performance went downhill I think. They kept telling me to just jump in but that didn't always work. When you think you're playing to win and you aren't as good as the rest of the team...why bother? You had me thinking I was a bad player so why would I put myself in.
-Expanding on that last point, they adopted a system where they'd actually call out who would play instead of going out when you wanted to. I remember this weekend fondly. We played 3 games one day...I was called out during one of them...for two points. Yep. And it wasn't even a high level game. They didn't like that team because they were being goofy and messing around. I liked them for that. They didn't take things too seriously. We didn't clash that way.
-You know it's a bad relationship when the only time I actually enjoy myself around them is when I'm drunk. Do I need to elaborate on this one?
-They bashed my running shoes because of their shape. I have Saucony (sp?) shoes. Megan sold them to me because they were designed for running. But according to them because they didn't have that thing under the sole of the shoe like other running shoes have they weren't running shoes. Now how would you feel if you bought this pair of shoes for like $80 (of your own money) specifically to run better and be better at frisbee only for the entire team to pretty much say...yeah, those aren't running shoes. It's like they missed the point that I did it so I could be better at playing for them.
-They'd always claim I never tried to reach out to them but I honestly felt like I shouldn't bother. They aren't showing me much respect as a person or a teammate or a friend for that matter so when you do that how can you expect me to call you up like we're best buddy's and pretend everything between us is cool.
-Several months back I was invited to go out on the weekend to Oneonta and play a game with them between the old players and the newer players. I had work that Saturday but figured I'd go up after work (which I did) and spent the weekend. Worst weekend of my life! The first warning sign was I was told it started at like 3pm that Sunday. I leave my friend's room at 2 to get my things and see a bunch of them walking up and waiting where they usually do. Nobody called to remind me or tell me so had I prepared any later...I wouldn't have known.
-So I get up there and nobody introduces me to the new people. Sure I could have done that myself but I'm shy and am going to use that as an excuse. I felt so out of place and out of shape. I didn't belong there. Going was a mistake. I regret that.
-The last straw, as it were, was when I log into Facebook and see photos tagged of me. Seems they photoshopped my head onto some pictures, along with somebody else who they didn't really respect on the team. I thought that was one of the most immature and childish things you could have done...good job showing me you really do have the mentality of a high school student.
So those are the main reasons.
I defriended all of them. Even the ones I didn't have problems with, because I honestly felt that if I left one then they'd figure out who and ask them for answers which would lead to them asking me for them.
So here's my big question to all of you. Do I really owe them an explanation? I am contemplating sending one final message to them saying exactly why I did what I did and don't care what they might think about it because there's no going back. I felt I gave up a lot to remain with them and I tried to be their friend but it seemed they just didn't want to treat me with respect...at least not the same respect they gave everybody else.
So far I've avoided all of them and left them scratching their heads as to why they are suddenly not friends with me.
Do I really need to tell them this? I wouldn't let it turn into an arguement or a debate. I'm done. That was the last straw. So should I give them this explanation? Honestly, all I'd do is list reasons (and I'd be mature about it, I wouldn't be mean or anything, and I'd say everything I felt) and flat out tell them "I imagine you must think I'm being irrational and stupid for this, but I can't deal with it anymore. You might never understand why. But that's it."
As for that other guy who was also photoshopped with me. He gave them a message like that, but mainly saying he could no longer play and how it was fun and all that. He tried to leave on a high note. They made fun of him for it. Not to his face or anything, but still. He bowed out politely...I do not intent to go out like that. More like just turning around, leaving town, and never seeing from me again.
This is a follow up to the frisbee thing.
They've taken notice I defriended all of them (not to mention leaving every group involved with them) and they seem confused by this.
Now I kinda feel bad, but at the same time I can't afford to. That last year with them was awful. I honestly don't know why I bothered cause it was just bad. Sure I had my moments but for the most part I felt underappreciated and left out all over. I'm going to list all the reasons I dislike them in an lj-cut just in case you were wondering how I came to this choice and for myself to put things into perspective.
-They would never invite me out any places unless it was related to the entire team itself. Honestly they'd always go into town and stuff with one another and never seem to involve me. The times they bothered to call me up they'd already left and expected me to venture out for them. They once called a little before midnight telling me to come to somebody's house (who I didn't know) and to hurry because the party was about to end. Um...why'd you wait so long? You expect me to just run down like that? We aren't that close for me to up and do that.
-They found a lot of my interests strange and liked to poke fun at me for it. And it wasn't like they were just busting my chops about it, it made me feel bad for liking these things.
-I have no idea how it started but they'd poke fun at that whole ninja thing I did. To be honest I didn't start that. I think somebody suggested I was like a ninja and maybe I brought that up a few times as a joke and then they just took it quite far. At that point I brought it up seriously just to annoy them in my own little way.
-When going on tournaments with them I got to sleep in a bed at the hotels once in that entire 2 years I was with them. Once! I slept on the floor the rest of the time. Sure it was fun a few times but for the most part it sucked being on these trips. Especially in the last year. They barely used me and as a result my performance went downhill I think. They kept telling me to just jump in but that didn't always work. When you think you're playing to win and you aren't as good as the rest of the team...why bother? You had me thinking I was a bad player so why would I put myself in.
-Expanding on that last point, they adopted a system where they'd actually call out who would play instead of going out when you wanted to. I remember this weekend fondly. We played 3 games one day...I was called out during one of them...for two points. Yep. And it wasn't even a high level game. They didn't like that team because they were being goofy and messing around. I liked them for that. They didn't take things too seriously. We didn't clash that way.
-You know it's a bad relationship when the only time I actually enjoy myself around them is when I'm drunk. Do I need to elaborate on this one?
-They bashed my running shoes because of their shape. I have Saucony (sp?) shoes. Megan sold them to me because they were designed for running. But according to them because they didn't have that thing under the sole of the shoe like other running shoes have they weren't running shoes. Now how would you feel if you bought this pair of shoes for like $80 (of your own money) specifically to run better and be better at frisbee only for the entire team to pretty much say...yeah, those aren't running shoes. It's like they missed the point that I did it so I could be better at playing for them.
-They'd always claim I never tried to reach out to them but I honestly felt like I shouldn't bother. They aren't showing me much respect as a person or a teammate or a friend for that matter so when you do that how can you expect me to call you up like we're best buddy's and pretend everything between us is cool.
-Several months back I was invited to go out on the weekend to Oneonta and play a game with them between the old players and the newer players. I had work that Saturday but figured I'd go up after work (which I did) and spent the weekend. Worst weekend of my life! The first warning sign was I was told it started at like 3pm that Sunday. I leave my friend's room at 2 to get my things and see a bunch of them walking up and waiting where they usually do. Nobody called to remind me or tell me so had I prepared any later...I wouldn't have known.
-So I get up there and nobody introduces me to the new people. Sure I could have done that myself but I'm shy and am going to use that as an excuse. I felt so out of place and out of shape. I didn't belong there. Going was a mistake. I regret that.
-The last straw, as it were, was when I log into Facebook and see photos tagged of me. Seems they photoshopped my head onto some pictures, along with somebody else who they didn't really respect on the team. I thought that was one of the most immature and childish things you could have done...good job showing me you really do have the mentality of a high school student.
So those are the main reasons.
I defriended all of them. Even the ones I didn't have problems with, because I honestly felt that if I left one then they'd figure out who and ask them for answers which would lead to them asking me for them.
So here's my big question to all of you. Do I really owe them an explanation? I am contemplating sending one final message to them saying exactly why I did what I did and don't care what they might think about it because there's no going back. I felt I gave up a lot to remain with them and I tried to be their friend but it seemed they just didn't want to treat me with respect...at least not the same respect they gave everybody else.
So far I've avoided all of them and left them scratching their heads as to why they are suddenly not friends with me.
Do I really need to tell them this? I wouldn't let it turn into an arguement or a debate. I'm done. That was the last straw. So should I give them this explanation? Honestly, all I'd do is list reasons (and I'd be mature about it, I wouldn't be mean or anything, and I'd say everything I felt) and flat out tell them "I imagine you must think I'm being irrational and stupid for this, but I can't deal with it anymore. You might never understand why. But that's it."
As for that other guy who was also photoshopped with me. He gave them a message like that, but mainly saying he could no longer play and how it was fun and all that. He tried to leave on a high note. They made fun of him for it. Not to his face or anything, but still. He bowed out politely...I do not intent to go out like that. More like just turning around, leaving town, and never seeing from me again.