(no subject)
I... feel like a human roller coaster. I don't feel like I'm fatherless, I just feel like I can't access him as often as I could - like I have to do things on my own now without his guidance and support. I feel like I lost my mentor. My buddy.
Instead of being the "chip off the ol' block", I feel like the little piece left behind.
I miss speaking russian with him. I miss hearing him speak russian, keeping in mind how one day I want to speak like him.
I can still hear him, clear as day.
I had a really messed up dream last night, and the whole dream it was like a carnival - all strange and twisted scenes. Although I remember one thing clearly, at one point in the dream dad was there and he was a younger version of him self laughing and smiling. I don't remember exactly what he was doing, I think he was pointing at something, I don't know. I think the most important thing to remember was him smiling and being happy. Maybe he was trying to let me know he is happy and okay, wherever he is.
Instead of being the "chip off the ol' block", I feel like the little piece left behind.
I miss speaking russian with him. I miss hearing him speak russian, keeping in mind how one day I want to speak like him.
I can still hear him, clear as day.
I had a really messed up dream last night, and the whole dream it was like a carnival - all strange and twisted scenes. Although I remember one thing clearly, at one point in the dream dad was there and he was a younger version of him self laughing and smiling. I don't remember exactly what he was doing, I think he was pointing at something, I don't know. I think the most important thing to remember was him smiling and being happy. Maybe he was trying to let me know he is happy and okay, wherever he is.