it's never been more perfect being alive
so the first semester of my freshman year is more than half way over. i didn't think i would make it this far. i think that i almost didn't. it got kinda shaky for a little bit. slowy this place is feeling more and more like home. thats what scares me the most. when i went home a few weekends ago, i hated it there. yea i missed everyone, but i missed here so much. to give up now doesn't make much sense. slowly im getting into a new routine and it feels right. new things im starting to love: my bed in my dorm, the food at the rock chalk cafe, the pictures of my friends that i have on my wall, easy mac, the cold air against my face when i walk to class, a ficticious red and blue bird by the name of Jay, the fact that im one of the 10 non-jewish people in my whole building, the thought of living in my own place next year, the fact that i can always go home but i can never go back, the baseball team, their friends, my floss, waking up really early on friday mornings to get coffee before my 8:30 class, beth and marisa, natty light...just kidding, and the color of the leaves here in the fall. they're different than at home. the air here is different. the things i will never stop missing: my girls, i need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves, trent, my daddy, my sister, my dog, yelling things at the golfers that go by my house, the smell of springtime in california, the view from my bedroom window, laying in my backyard wrapped in a blanket watching the stars, ambers parents, movie dates, and my bed.
i can not say that i was ready for this.
but when worlds collide,
and all that i have is all that i want.
so when you say forever,
can't you see you've already captured me.