Sleeping...
I dream of a girl, everynight... I dream of her black hair, and how her skin is soft and sticky at the same time. I dream of the way she makes me feel inside my own body suit. I dream of the way she moves her body, how she walks slow and it looks like she takes tiny steps even though she is almost as tall as me... I dream of the way her voice sounds in my ears and how its my voice only sounding like a girl. I dream of our kiss, the kisses she she has givin me and I her, and then I wake up... I wake up in love with her, then I have to go throught my day thinking about all these things and more, like her horrible butterfly tattoo on her back, the way her hair feels tangled inbetween all the fingers on my left hand, the way our bodies fit when we were cuddling and sleeping... her naked body pressed against mine. I think about her everyday weather or not I want too... I wish she would call me, but she never does... months go by... nothing... last I had herd she was going to call me back and come down to live with me... 3 months later I give up I quit the bars I worked at, I sell all my DJ equiptment, quit my day job, leave my car with my parents and move to a small mountian town. Seclude myself from almost everything and everyone, go throught 3 different jobs... finally I have a late day at work so when I get up instead of going boarding I decide to organize my computer... and I find her pictures, pictures of her from before she knew me, pictures of her with her daughter, pictures of me and her daughter, and pictures of me and her... were kissing, were happy, were in a bath tub, laying on grass, in a hotel room, driving in a car, were in love... I become depressed again, keeping the dreams, thoughts and memories sub to my life may not have been healthy but it was working, even dealing with the finals of my probation wasnt affecting me the way that I would have expected it... but looking at the pictures got me again, so what happens? ofcourse after 8 months thats the day she calls me... we talk stupid shit for about 5 min and my phone cuts out... shes gone, I wait she dosent call me back... and I have no way of getting ahold of her. I didnt get to hear her story about cartoons... I didnt get to ask her any of the questions I had accumulating up in my head... I didnt even get to tell her I missed her. so if ur out there and you read this... call me back... if its soon, call me tomarrow...
MAX JAJ
MAX JAJ