The Weekly Top Ten
To those of you in my friends list who haven't the privilege of knowing scotmoore, dittrich and djsammyc, I'll explain: scotmoore started a weekly top ten funniest LJ statements and passed the baton on to dittrich, who passed it on to djsammyc, who passed it on to me. These, in no particular order, are the things I found funniest in my friends list this week:
1. Posted in the journal of luna_marie: "So the one thing that I had been worrying about Luna was that she was backed up. All of the formula that she has had with a few pees and barely any poo worried me. I say worried because they don't worry me anymore. So I had just got done giving her a suplemental feeding and I was burping her. Then I felt what I thought was a flatus. It didn't turn out to be a flatus. More of a stringy poo that was a bit wide to come from her bottom. I cleaned her up and she kept pushing. Lets just state that she started going again. The plug was out. It was bar close and everyone got out. Then she peed all over. Needless to say I am happy that she has emptied herself out. Though I hope that she doesn't continue to wait so long next time." (This is more than just a statement, but I do love humor of contrasts, and the thought of her multi-pierced/multi-tattooed/zz-top bearded daddy putting so much thought into her poo tickled me to death.)
2. Posted in the journal of djande regarding his recent turtle bite: "Should I be concerned that I will turn into a turtle next full-moon?"
3. Posted in the journal of spider8: "I watch too much Buffy to not think about portals and crap when disoriented."
4. Posted in the journal of cornelius_mcfee: " ...had a dream the other night that I was scrubbing a stain out of the carpet at work. amanda_mary woke me up in the middle of it. ...I actually wanted to go back in to the dream so I could see if I got the stain out. ...how fucking nerdy is that???"
5. Posted in the journal of magaggies regarding her band's screaming fans: "It was almost as if they didn't hate us."
6. Posted in the journal of eatsoylentgreen: "Well I love you too, but the whole purpose of this post is to let you know of Bill Gates' love."
7. Posted in the journal of slinky76: "the bag of baked lays sour cream & cheddar potato chips was open & chips were strewn everywhere. my chair was moved across the room & a clear imprint of where i had been laying on the floor could be seen as i realized that at some point during the conversation, my phone battery had died & i had plugged into the wall & was forced to lay on the ground."
8. Posted in the journal of amanda_mary regarding marriage: "I'm also a proponent of overhauling from within, which is one of the main reasons I elected to enter the belly of the beast to begin with. But that's another story entirely."
9. Posted in the journal of chrismolson: "While getting ready for work this morning, I was brushing my teeth while trying to put my shoes on, and I fell off my desk chair." (best visual)
10. Posted in the journal of ezrajohn: "I didn't want Derek to feel left out so I have been very excited by his digestive system, too. "
So, those are my picks. I will pass the baton to a woman who consistently makes me laugh, and will do a great job of finding good tidbits this week: Renee!
1. Posted in the journal of luna_marie: "So the one thing that I had been worrying about Luna was that she was backed up. All of the formula that she has had with a few pees and barely any poo worried me. I say worried because they don't worry me anymore. So I had just got done giving her a suplemental feeding and I was burping her. Then I felt what I thought was a flatus. It didn't turn out to be a flatus. More of a stringy poo that was a bit wide to come from her bottom. I cleaned her up and she kept pushing. Lets just state that she started going again. The plug was out. It was bar close and everyone got out. Then she peed all over. Needless to say I am happy that she has emptied herself out. Though I hope that she doesn't continue to wait so long next time." (This is more than just a statement, but I do love humor of contrasts, and the thought of her multi-pierced/multi-tattooed/zz-top bearded daddy putting so much thought into her poo tickled me to death.)
2. Posted in the journal of djande regarding his recent turtle bite: "Should I be concerned that I will turn into a turtle next full-moon?"
3. Posted in the journal of spider8: "I watch too much Buffy to not think about portals and crap when disoriented."
4. Posted in the journal of cornelius_mcfee: " ...had a dream the other night that I was scrubbing a stain out of the carpet at work. amanda_mary woke me up in the middle of it. ...I actually wanted to go back in to the dream so I could see if I got the stain out. ...how fucking nerdy is that???"
5. Posted in the journal of magaggies regarding her band's screaming fans: "It was almost as if they didn't hate us."
6. Posted in the journal of eatsoylentgreen: "Well I love you too, but the whole purpose of this post is to let you know of Bill Gates' love."
7. Posted in the journal of slinky76: "the bag of baked lays sour cream & cheddar potato chips was open & chips were strewn everywhere. my chair was moved across the room & a clear imprint of where i had been laying on the floor could be seen as i realized that at some point during the conversation, my phone battery had died & i had plugged into the wall & was forced to lay on the ground."
8. Posted in the journal of amanda_mary regarding marriage: "I'm also a proponent of overhauling from within, which is one of the main reasons I elected to enter the belly of the beast to begin with. But that's another story entirely."
9. Posted in the journal of chrismolson: "While getting ready for work this morning, I was brushing my teeth while trying to put my shoes on, and I fell off my desk chair." (best visual)
10. Posted in the journal of ezrajohn: "I didn't want Derek to feel left out so I have been very excited by his digestive system, too. "
So, those are my picks. I will pass the baton to a woman who consistently makes me laugh, and will do a great job of finding good tidbits this week: Renee!