thanksgiving
THE GOOD...
-watching movies from my childhood and noticing new/funny things that i had never really caught onto before ['home alone 2'...never knew donald trump was in it briefly..
-playing board games with my family [RARE]
-eating the good stuff [of course] and leftovers [donna...lol]
-not showering and feeling MORE refreshed [i know jaclyn...'that's icky' lol]
THE BAD...
-siblings will always be siblings. i don't care if we're 8 or 20...
-there will ALWAYS...be that weird, awkward silence for the first 5-10 min of any livingston family meal that's supposed to be a big deal.
-someone always deeply offends someone....and gets reminded of it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again throughout the day
-sometimes...i feel like shit for downloading music on the internet for free...like the artist doesn't get the money they deserve. then again....if they were in my shoes...they'd do it to me [the american thing]...so who cares? i don't know. isn't music supposed to be for enjoyment neways? that's what i would want my music to be for.
-the macy's thankgiving parade....i remember when it was backstreet boys....and the cast of 'passions'....i didn't recognize ONE DAMN singer/musician there this year [except andrea bocelli and that wretched fantasia barrino]
THE UGLY...
-when will the emotional *episodes* stop?? i just don't get it..i mean i know i'm stressed out because it's the end of school.....and i feel like i try hard and it doesn't matter...but deep down...i know it does. i guess i'm just so used to being a people pleaser....impressing everyone. i'm used to being the best [or one of the best] or whatever...and i really just need to focus on pleasing MYSELF and enjoying things. i shouldn't let people get to me [and really....there's no one in my mind when i say people'....because 'everyone'...meaning other music or voice majors/my professors is focused on doing there own thing/doing what makes them happy...which is what i need to do. i mean being in a RIDICULOUS music fraternity....or being cliquey with some of the voice majors [u can make friends w/ people w/o being cliquey] is just not my style. i mean i haven't see it this bad since....like 8th or 9th grade.
it's liek this: all of the music majors who were slightly nerdy....or maybe not as 'cool' or 'popular' with people or w/ their friends in highschool are all trying to make a comeback....by getting attitudes, joinging fraternities and acting like children. it's so annoying! uuuuuuuuuugggggggghh and i get pissed at myself because sometimes i give it a second glance or second thought......when i know that they're wrong and they're being ridiculous.
but...there's a difference between losing confidence...and gaining humility. i was doing amazing for awhile.....and was quite pleased at myself.....but lately....i've been on the boarder line. i want to be different. i want to be more confident...more positive....smile more....get a pedicure...wear something sexy [ick....but then i get hit on by ICKY band people. ugh]. jaclyn i can't stop saying the word 'icky'.
neways....the point is....i need to remember what's most important in college: me. it's my world and i own it. it's my school and i drag myself to it. it's my major, my voice and my life. no one else's.
the end.
-watching movies from my childhood and noticing new/funny things that i had never really caught onto before ['home alone 2'...never knew donald trump was in it briefly..
-playing board games with my family [RARE]
-eating the good stuff [of course] and leftovers [donna...lol]
-not showering and feeling MORE refreshed [i know jaclyn...'that's icky' lol]
THE BAD...
-siblings will always be siblings. i don't care if we're 8 or 20...
-there will ALWAYS...be that weird, awkward silence for the first 5-10 min of any livingston family meal that's supposed to be a big deal.
-someone always deeply offends someone....and gets reminded of it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again throughout the day
-sometimes...i feel like shit for downloading music on the internet for free...like the artist doesn't get the money they deserve. then again....if they were in my shoes...they'd do it to me [the american thing]...so who cares? i don't know. isn't music supposed to be for enjoyment neways? that's what i would want my music to be for.
-the macy's thankgiving parade....i remember when it was backstreet boys....and the cast of 'passions'....i didn't recognize ONE DAMN singer/musician there this year [except andrea bocelli and that wretched fantasia barrino]
THE UGLY...
-when will the emotional *episodes* stop?? i just don't get it..i mean i know i'm stressed out because it's the end of school.....and i feel like i try hard and it doesn't matter...but deep down...i know it does. i guess i'm just so used to being a people pleaser....impressing everyone. i'm used to being the best [or one of the best] or whatever...and i really just need to focus on pleasing MYSELF and enjoying things. i shouldn't let people get to me [and really....there's no one in my mind when i say people'....because 'everyone'...meaning other music or voice majors/my professors is focused on doing there own thing/doing what makes them happy...which is what i need to do. i mean being in a RIDICULOUS music fraternity....or being cliquey with some of the voice majors [u can make friends w/ people w/o being cliquey] is just not my style. i mean i haven't see it this bad since....like 8th or 9th grade.
it's liek this: all of the music majors who were slightly nerdy....or maybe not as 'cool' or 'popular' with people or w/ their friends in highschool are all trying to make a comeback....by getting attitudes, joinging fraternities and acting like children. it's so annoying! uuuuuuuuuugggggggghh and i get pissed at myself because sometimes i give it a second glance or second thought......when i know that they're wrong and they're being ridiculous.
but...there's a difference between losing confidence...and gaining humility. i was doing amazing for awhile.....and was quite pleased at myself.....but lately....i've been on the boarder line. i want to be different. i want to be more confident...more positive....smile more....get a pedicure...wear something sexy [ick....but then i get hit on by ICKY band people. ugh]. jaclyn i can't stop saying the word 'icky'.
neways....the point is....i need to remember what's most important in college: me. it's my world and i own it. it's my school and i drag myself to it. it's my major, my voice and my life. no one else's.
the end.