Suicide Soda
Tragedy struck my refrigerator this morning when a can of Diet Coke mysteriously exploded, spilling its contents on my fizzy water, fruit salad, whole wheat bread, condiments and other various edibles. Apart from the soft drink, no other food items suffered serious injuries. Foods were temporarily sheltered on countertops (with a few unfortunate items relegated to the floor) while the clean-up crew wiped down the entire inside of the refrigerator with a soapy dishrag. Authorities can only hypothesize at the cause of the explosion. The leading theory is that this particular can of Diet Coke was placed toward the top and back of the refrigerator, the coldest spot, and was hidden by taller, less desirable products. Having been ignored for the better part of a year, the Diet Coke took matters into its own unfortunate can, cracked itself from top to bottom and made its presence known all over the refrigerator. A more prominent can of Diet Coke was questioned in this morning's explosion, but refused to comment.