Deliberation
In recent years, I've been working on my interpersonal skills, learning how to apply my smarts in the social arena. While that definitely has its advantages, sometimes it leaves me feeling manipulative.
I sometimes catch myself before saying something provocative: an insult, a compliment, a flirtatious remark. Often that's a good thing, and I wish I were better at keeping certain barbed comments to myself. However, sometimes a little deliberation reveals that it's really what I mean, it's really what I should say. The trouble is, now it's not something spontaneous from the heart, but rather something calculated, and that leaves me feeling manipulative.
I'm not sure why this tweaks my conscience. The thoughts are just as sincere as they were when they popped into my mind; I'm just applying my internal editor to screen what's inappropriate. And yet still I can't shake this feeling that I'm playing people when I stop to think about how I feel before I speak.
Does anyone else run into this conflict? How do you resolve it?
I sometimes catch myself before saying something provocative: an insult, a compliment, a flirtatious remark. Often that's a good thing, and I wish I were better at keeping certain barbed comments to myself. However, sometimes a little deliberation reveals that it's really what I mean, it's really what I should say. The trouble is, now it's not something spontaneous from the heart, but rather something calculated, and that leaves me feeling manipulative.
I'm not sure why this tweaks my conscience. The thoughts are just as sincere as they were when they popped into my mind; I'm just applying my internal editor to screen what's inappropriate. And yet still I can't shake this feeling that I'm playing people when I stop to think about how I feel before I speak.
Does anyone else run into this conflict? How do you resolve it?